The Purpose of a Shade

The purpose of a shade...

is to serve the creator. Do so without question.

His word is law.

Only a trusted few may have the power to disobey.

Should your rank be high enough to disobey. DO NOT DISOBEY.

You may be killed.

You must remember: he owns you.

Your opinions matter not.

Your body is his shield.

Your actions are his weapons.

So long as he is happy with you, you will be safe.

Your freedom (if you have any) will be safe.

Your life will be safe.

While on the topic of life, remember that his is worth more

than your own. Protect the creator with your life.

If he dies, only those of high rank might live, the rest will

die with him. Freedom is not worth the pain of that loss.

Heed my words, for I know this well. Learn your place.

Keep the creator happy.

Keep him alive.

Your life is not your own.

(From "The Purpose of a Shade", author unknown.)

~1~

 

2: Date:?
Date:?

So, I ain't never had one a these before...Mother Shia gave it to me. She says it's called a "journal" an yer supposed to write what you think and feel in it. Problem is, I haven't exactly had long to get used to these new "emotions" yet. I know some basic things, but other then that? Nope.

She also says I can write about what goes on in my life, dunno why I'd do that, but I'll give it a shot.

So anyhow, I'm Kiryl. I dunno how old I am, I think mi'lord said I'd be like, fifteen in human years? There's not much else to say, I'm kinda a blank slate right now...OH! I don't like the fightin' we do. I think it's kinda pointless.

When I told Mother Shia, she told me she knew how I felt, but I better not let Lord Tamos hear me say that. We were alone, as far as I know, so I think my secret's safe fer now.

Now...ah yeah! Today was very important! I think I'll write about it! I made a major jump in ranks, goin' from rookie to one of the commanders. There's only four a us. There's me, Lady Niya, Lord Tamlyr, and Tamalin. Only one guy's above us, and that's mi'lord Tamos. Technically they're all above me, since they're all older, but hey, whatever.

I actually got a human body, ya know? Now I look kinda human. By kinda, I mean my colors ain't right fer a human. My skin and hair is pitch black and I got all these dark gold markin's all over me. Also my eyes are like, yellow gold. I'm still excited 'bout this new body, but there's this thin' that kinda freaks me out.

Ya see, one a our enemies is this kid named Loki. He's a god, or somethin', and he's got this sorta curly hair and this innocent lookin' face. By that I mean, he's got a childish face, all rounded and stuff, and I guess the term "doe-eyed" fits best. He's also kinda small, like, ya know, a runner or a scout. Maybe lean, is a better word...

I dunno, and I don't really care either. Anyway, I look exactly like this guy, weird huh? Mi' lord say it's jus' cause I'm gonna be his shadow fer a while, but still...

But he also gave me a gift! It's a book of stories from his home world! I can't read it, but I'll jus' corner him later an ask him to read me one! I met some a the other shades I never met before cause my rank was too low. Honestly, they're all kinda pricks. I only like Lehora, but I haven't actually talked to her yet.

She's like a couple ranks lower than me, but I think she's real shy. She's got a humanoid shape to her, and this long, smoky hair, and her eyes are huge, like an owl's. Her whole body seemed to flicker. I tried to talk to her, but she flickered away before I could.

That's about it I guess. I got my own chambers now, but they're pretty empty. So I guess that's it fer now.

~2~

3: Date: ?
Date: ?

So, I still haven't got mi'lord to read me a story from that book. He's so busy right now. He just took over a place called the "Realm of Silence". It's a world of angels I think.

I wanted to go, but he said I couldn't. I was kinda upset 'bout that, but I still ain't used to this body. I'm a clutz as is, but there's a whole new set of motor skills to learn as a human. I kept walkin' inta thin's the other day so now I'm stuck with this other guy followin' me around.

He's called Watcher, and he's kinda creepy. He's got a round head, like a ball and three big sets a antlers on his head. I don' think he's got arms though, 'cause every time I trip or somethin' these wispy black tendril thin's catch me. He's also got big, owl-like eyes, like Lehora, but bigger and more sunken.

I'd be cool with him if he didn't follow me everywhere. Really, I can't even bathe alone. If I try, he just stands there and stares. There ain't no way I'm strippin' while he's standin' there watchin' me.

I actually don't need to bathe though, shades don't really have normal person needs. I just like the hot water and the bubbles and stuff.

I don't need sleep either, but I still got a bed in my chambers. I like layin' on it. It's soft. Watcher follows me to my room though, and that bothers me. Can't I get any privacy? He always goes to the nearest corner to watch me, and I can always feel his eyes.

In other news, mi'lord came here fer a few hours. I tried to get him alone, but it didn't work. He was too busy. I kept tryin' til Lady Niya came over and told me to let him be and to go to my room. I didn't mind since she was real nice 'bout it though.

So that's where I've been for the past few hours, layin' in bed and writin' this. I hope I catch mi'lord soon. It's so quiet, so borin'. I wish I could sleep, maybe that'd kill some time. But anyway, that's it I guess. If somethin' else happens I'll be back.

~3~

4: Date: Same day still.
Date: Same day still.

So...somethin' weird just happened...I dunno How to explain it though...I guess I'll start where I left off.

So I was just finishin' my writin' and puttin' this away. Watcher was doin' his thin' in his own lil corner like always and I was putting this away.

I swear, I only looked away fer a second, but when I looked back up, he was right in front a me. He wasn't really doin' nothin', just starin'.

A 'course I was kinda nervous, but I met his eyes and asked, "What?" He tilted his head at me, but didn't say nothin'. I just shrugged and said, "Okay..." and shuffled back a bit. Now this is where it gets kinda creepy.

So, like I said, I moved back, but he followed me. FOLLOWED. ME. I mean it. And it was so weird 'cause he sorta, I guess slithered is a good word, but he moved real fast.

One second ago there was some space between us the next he's right up in my face. I froze up. I didn't know what was goin' on, still don't.

Those little tendrils of his pulled at my hair and cloak, so I swatted 'em away. I guess he didn't like that very much, 'cause he grabbed my wrists and held on real tight. He just kept turnin' them around and stuff.

I kinda think he was looking at my marks. Ya' see, I got all these gold marks all over my body, like tattoos. He was pushin' my sleeves up til he couldn't no more.

Now, I woulda been cool if he'd let it be then and there, but nope. The next thing I know, it's my shirt, and I could feel those little thin's on me skin. How could anyone be so cold?

I'm ashamed to say this, but I lost it. I dunno what came over me, I just started flailin' about and screamin' and makin' as much noise as I could. I didn't know what else to do!

I never realized how much stronger the others were before...I'm probably the weakest shade here. I just couldn't get loose, and the harder I tired the tighter he held on.

I ain't exactly sure what happened then, but I remember somethin' sent him flyin' and the next thin' I know, he's back in his corner and Brith, a demonic crow shade from my clan, is standin' next ta me.

It was so weird, but I don't think Watcher was tryin' ta hurt me. Not really. I...I just dunno what to do. Do I tell someone? I don't want him to get in trouble...

Since I don't think he had any bad intentions, I'll let him be for now. Besides, what would mi'lord think if he knew I couldn't even fend off someone with a lower rank than me?

5: Date: Meh...
Date: Meh...

Kiryl here. You'll never guess what happened now! Well, I guess you wouldn't be able to anyhow, what with bein' a book and all. So, it's been a couple days since the incident with Watcher, and I decided that maybe he needs somethin' ta keep 'im busy.

I went to mi' lord's library ta try an find 'im somethin' to do. I don't think I want a repeat a that, like ever again. He ain't with me right now, but only cause Mother Shia is. She said she's gotta go do some kind a personal research.

She's helping mi'lord with somethin' and, honestly, I'm kinda jealous. Seems like everyone gets ta see 'im more than me. Ah well. But anyway, she told me I wasn't allowed past a certain spot.

"You wouldn't like it very much Kai. It's all research notes." she said. I think she muttered somethin' about 'inappropriate literature' too, but I ain't sure what that means. So she wandered to the back and left me up here, but she messed up my hair first and said "have fun".

It ain't much fun when ya can't read most a the books 'cause ya don't know the languages. I found a few I could read though, mostly human books, a couple a angel's books, and I think I found some Asgardian ones too.

I think I'll see if Watcher would like painting, I think I will and we could do it together. If he don't, well, I'll try somethin' else.

That's one thin' covered, the other thin' that I got sidetracked from, I'll add now.

So I was sittin' there readin' this human 'mythology' book on these Norse legends. I only grabbed it cause I remember hearing somethin' about Loki being a Norse god. I can totally see why he's so desperate ta change his fate. It's pretty messed up.

But yeah, I was readin' when I heard Mother Shia comin' back, but I also heard someone else too. I was sure it was mi'lord and I thought about puttin' the book down, but I was really into this 'mythology' thin'.

She came over to me and patted my head and asked, "Whatcha readin'?" I mean she didn't say it like that, she's got this real sophisticated way a talking, but I just simplified it. I showed her and she nodded.

I wasn't expectin' mi'lord to come over though, he just plucked the book outta my hands and looked it over. "Mythology? Huh...what, ya finish that one I gave ya a'eady?" That's actually how he talks by the way.

I didn't answer at first, but I managed. "I can't read it sir," I said, "I don't understand Desidian." He seemed surprised, but he wasn't mean about it.

"Ya can't? Ain't that odd. I guess yer jus' wired different than the rest. It's fine though, I'll read ya one now if ya want."

I was pretty surprised, but a course I agreed. I wasn't gonna turn him down. He actually read his favorite, said it was called "The Mother of Monsters".

I liked it, but it was kinda sad. Basically a priestess anger her goddess and that goddess cursed all her children to be monsters.

The woman ignored this and went on to have many children with many different people, since no one wanted to stay with the monster kids. By the time word spread across the land, she had hundreds a them each one a different monstrous form.

The people called her an abomination and tracked her down in the forest. They burned her home to the ground with her trapped inside. She was saved by her children, who slaughtered the attackers and fled with her burned body.

Her injuries were so bad though, that she wasn't able to move and she just layed in the cave with her children caring for her. They were angry and when more people came lookin' to kill their mother, they didn't stop by killin' those people.

They left the forest, leaving a few siblings to protect and care for her while the rest layed siege to the world. Apparently this happened about the time when the second great war happened.

It was called the "War of Monsters" and practically destroyed everything. So it was historically based too.

Afterwards he patted my head and wandered back to the back and I went back to my room. I told Watcher about the paintin' thin' and I think he liked it, but I can't really tell.

I can't believe mi'lord even remembered me though. It was real weird to know he did, but it made me happy.

6: Date: A couple days after last.
Date: A couple days after last.

That's probably the stupidest way to write the date but I actually don't know it. But it helps me remember so whatever, right? Anyway, mi'lord came to my room the other night and said he had a job fer me. I was real curious so I asked what.

I'm goin' to the angels world! I can't wait! I ain't been outta the No-space since I got my new body! The No-space is where we all live by the way, it's like a pocket dimension.

I met up with 'im earlier to get my orders. I'm supposed ta try an befriend the common angel Pedro and his friend Crow. I like these orders, I hope they don't change. I really hope I can make them understand that it's best they join our side.

I really doubt that I can, 'cause angels are supposed ta be loyal ta their God. I can get that though, it's like how us shades are loyal to our lord.

But yeah, I can't wait! I hope it's fun.

Also, I found some papers and paints fer Watcher. He's actually okay when he ain't bored. We spent all the last couple days paintin' until mi'lord summoned me.

I think he's good, and he really like what I paint too. Maybe when we get better we can paint the walls a my room. It's so bland it's depressin'. Maybe I'll grab a couple a knick-knacks from the Realm a Silence. That'll make it less empty!

Uh, but yeah...Like I said, I ain't havin' anymore problems with Watcher. That's a good thin' I guess, but I might have another problem now...

Okay, so, I was back in the library last night, readin' some more books I found, right? They're mostly human books, and I found out that I really like romance novels. Anyway, while I was readin' I heard a loud 'BANG!' like some one threw somethin'. Scared me so bad it did. I jumped outta my seat so fast. Took me a moment to realize that it came from the back.

Now I know Mother Shia said not ta go back there, but I figured it would be fine if I didn't take nothin' and just checked up on mi'lord. I'm sure that was him. So yeah, I went on back to find him, it took a bit cause a how far back he was. But I found 'im soon enough. He had his head down fer once so his hair was everywhere.

I don't think I said what he looks like before. So, Lord Tamos has pitch black skin like mine and red war paint over his eyes. His hair's long and spikes out everywhere when he don't got the hood a his gold cloak pulled up. The hood's got buttons on it so he can get it around his horns, which curve back to a point and then go only go to about where his chin would be. Oh and I'm pretty sure he's wearin' a body suit the same color of his skin.

He was sittin' at a desk covered in scrolls and papers with his head on his arms and there was a heavy book near the corner that he probably threw. There was a lot a empty bottles and, it wasn't the best idea, but I picked one up and sniffed it. It seemed fine. I know it was alcohol, but I never had any before so I grabbed a half full bottle and took a sip. Let me just say, it burned, but I kinda like the taste.

I was gonna drink some more, but before I could, Lord Tamos sat up and pulled it outta my hands. "Now, now Kai...tha's nah fer ya..." He must've drank a bit too much cause he was slurrin' his words. "U'less ya ask nicely~" I did too, cause I really wanted ta try s'more and I'd be able ta spend more time with 'im. Really, I dunno how much I drank, but it was enough ta make everythin' get fuzzy.

I do remember Lord Tamos askin' me what I was readin' now, so I showed 'im. "Romance? Huh...didn't think ya'd be inta tha kinda story." Now, here' where it gets weird, he says, "I can show ya real romance."

I didn't have any time ta react, he got outta his chair and was standin' over me, he's like, almost a foot taller than me. And, like I said, everythin's all fuzzy, so the next thin' I remember is bein' backed against a wall and droppin' my book. I can't slip around 'im...he's so much bigger and then I'm...lifted off the ground and he wraps my legs around 'im so I don't fall and he's leaning' against me an...and I panic and freeze up.

I-I...I didn't know what to do, I tried pushin' him away but he just held my wrists up against the wall. Then he was kissin' me! I kept my mouth shut tight 'til he bit me and...I didn't like it. It was gettin' too hot and my lip was bleeding and I...I felt like I couldn't breathe even though I don't really need to. And then he stopped and I thought it was done with, I was shakin' so hard, scared outta my mind and hopin' he'd let me go. T-then he bit me again, my neck this time and...He wouldn't let go...

I started cryin' what else could I do? But I think that shocked him cause he carefully put me down. I remember collapsin' right away and then runnin' when he tried to comfort me. I just wanted to get away.

I don't know what to do now, I don't think he remembers anythin', it musta been the alcohol...I really hope it was. S-should I still tell? But, who'd believe me?

~6~

 

7: Date: Week from last...
Date: Week from last...

Right so, lots happened. Too busy ta write. Thin' s are gettin' crazy. I'm debatin' somethin' real dangerous. I'll write what I can explain.

So, this angel girl, Glitch came inta the picture. Friend a Pedro's, kinda stoic, serious, but nice when ya get ta know her. She got them ta join the guard with her, which is mostly fer the archangels. She's a commoner like Pedro.

They went on some missions, took out a few feral shades and then got a dangerous one. One a the other archangels had disappeared and they had reason to believe she wound up in the Underground, the massive tunnel system beneath the City a Angels.

I heard that none a the archangels would volunteer ta go save their friend, but Pedro did. A course Glitch an Crow jumped up an agreed ta go too, an I tagged along cause I'm the only one with night vision here. Really, they was planning on running round in the dark.

Long story short, we found the gal and Pedro fixed her right up. Course she was out the whole time, good thing too, dunno how she woulda felt if she saw me. I wish I woulda known mi'lord planned on trappin' them all down there though. We jus' about got out, handin' the lady over ta the head guard Gabriel, when the whole place shook an the ceilin' caved in on us.

I had ta find the four a us another way out. That took a whole five days in itself, an right after we got out, Glitch was arrested! I dunno why though, she ain't done nothin' wrong! Who...who ordered it?! Did Lord Tamos...? He don't have that much influence over these people...right?

I...I confronted him about it. He says it's fer the best...fer some reason I don't believe that. Glitch's a smart girl, she knew...or, she was close ta knowin'. She was a threat.

She was doin' her best though! She was tryin' ta protect her world, her people...from us. Damn that hurts...I don't like this. This fightin' is stupid! Can't he see he's hurtin' these people?! I dunno what I thought I was doin', but I started screamin' at him. I let 'im know exactly what I thought.

He just stood there starin' in shock at me...and then he looked mad. I didn't realize at first, I was still screamin' at him. 'Why would you do that to her?!' and 'Why did you try an kill them?!' and I couldn't stop.

And then he hit me...knocked me right to the ground. I never got hit before...it really hurt. I was more surprised than anything though. Well, I tried sittin' up but he stepped on my throat and held me there. "It. Was. For. The. Best. Understand Kiryl?" He said and I nodded as best I could. Then he smiled and moved his foot. He's got wolfish feet and the claws were diggin' in, so I was happy ta have that over with.

He pulled me to my feet and pulled me closer, givin' a quick kiss on my forehead. I tensed a course, bad memories there, I was afraid he try somethin' like that again. But he didn't and I was let go with a warnin'.

I still can't leave Gitch in there...I gotta do somethin'. Lord Tamos is gonna set the troops on this world soon, I gotta free her before then...help all my friends escape the realm...even if it kills me.

~7~

8: Date:
Date:

Hurts. Really, really hurts...I shouldn't be writin' this. But it makes me feel better. I can't stop cryin'.

I knew that was a bad idea. It was the right thin' ta do though. I'm sure it was worth all this pain. I...let me explain what happened.

Glitch was in jail, Tamos was gonna set the troops on the angels. He was gonna kill them all. He hunted me down and hauled me off before I could warn Pedro. Said I'd better stay put or else. I couldn't just do nuthin' though!

Once he left, I ran out. Tracked down Pedro and Crow and told them. Pedro told me where ta find the cell keys and said he'd get Glitch's weapon from storage. Crow took me to the cells once I got the key. The halls were all empty, but I could hear fightin' from somewhere. Crow heard it too and ran to meet Pedro. Perdo's not a fighter, so Crow was gonna keep him safe.

I let Glitch out, but the moment I opened the door, I heard them comin'. The ground shook and we could see them barrelin' down the hall. I grabbed her hand an ran. I know they saw me. I knew they'd tell. I didn't care. We ran.

When we saw the other two, we grabbed them. We couldn't stop yet. I had ta get them outta there. We went through a door. I slammed it shut after throwin' them in. I leaned against it, but the others almost broke it down. They kept rammin' inta it until Glitch busted a column down and blocked it.

I took them to the Scryin' rooms, where the angel's can check up on humans. They can also use them ta travel to the human world. They didn't seem ta believe me right away, but the other shades tryin' ta get in changed their minds real quick.

Glitch agreed ta try it first. When it worked, I told Crow ta go next. He glanced at the door then back at us before he went. Pedro grabbed my hand and pulled me to it, but the others knocked some a the blockade loose. So bein' the idiot I am, I ran to it and slammed it closed on them again.

Pedro offered ta help but I told him ta go. Said I'd be right behind him. He knew better, but he left. He promised he'd find help and come get me. I just smiled and nodded, even though I knew it wouldn't happen. I thought I'd be killed fer this. But no.

As soon as Pedro left, the door was blasted down and I barely missed gettin' hit. Still got knocked down though.

When I looked up, mi'lord just stood there, starin' down at me. I couldn't read him, his face was just blank. He walked up ta me and hauled me to my feet. The others were growlin' and snappin' at me. He told the others ta keep to there orders and took me back to No-space.

Right away he threw me down and stomped on my chest. I thought I heard somethin' snap. He just asked, "What was that?" real sweet like. Just smilin' down at me. "I told ya ta stay put, didn't I?" Those claws a his were diggin' in too and he just pressed harder on my chest. I wanted ta get away. I knew it would be worse if I tried though. But it was instinctual! I swear! I just wanted him off...

I flitted away. Dunno where I wound up, but I just layed there fer a bit. Then he found me again. He looked so mad. It took a minute fer me ta realize that he was holdin' some kind a red rope. I didn't know what it was at first, but he told me once my hands were tied. It's Desidian, used ta bind spirits and shades to a physical body. Meanin' I can't flit away or turn ta shadows. It's still on me now.

Once it was on, he grabbed my arm and the next thin' I know there's this wooden cage around us. I was thrown down again and hit my head on the floor. I was so dizzy I didn't notice he tried more a the rope around my neck. It was tight but the end hung down to the floor, so I wasn't worried about bein' hung...yet.

He untied my hands then, and said, "Take of yer shirt Kai." I just stared at him. I really didn't wanna, I was so scared. I just started shakin'. He growled at me though, addin',"I swear I'll make it worse if I gotta do it for ya." A course I didn't hesitate after that.

It was kinda weird. He stared at me and shook his head. "Oh, Kai, why are ya so...different? None a the others ever got those gold marks. Makes me wonder." I heard somethin' bein' unsheathed. I froze up. "Now, Kai, I know ya seem ta have trouble followin' orders, but I want ya ta listen closely an do exactly as I say." I nodded and he patted my head gently. Course I flinched away, I was really afraid I'd be killed. Others have been killed fer less than what I did...

"...Don't be afraid Kai, I won't kill ya, if ya listen. You need to learn yer place here. Now come here." I listened. I walked til I stood in front a him and kept lookin' at the ground. The rope musta been tied ta somethin' cause I felt it stretch as I walked. "Turn around and sit." I did. "Do. Not. Move."

He just sat behind me and stayed quiet fer a minute. I heard that blade he had scratch the floor and I shook even worse. I thought He was gonna kill me anyhow. "Those marks on your chest...they make a butterfly right?" I nodded. He hummed. "So strange. But I like it. I think another would be nice too, hmm?" I didn't like the change in his voice, it usually meant he was really mad.

I nearly jumped outta my skin when I felt the metal on my back, right over the spine. Instead I bit my lip ta stay quiet and folded my hands in my lap. It hurt so bad. He wasn't nice about it at all. The blade wasn't even sharp, it was pretty dull. I bit through my lip and dug my nails inta my hands till they bled and tried ta focus on that instead a the blood runnin' down my back.

I started gettin' real tired after awhile, and then he stopped. "Done! Now then...oh? You're crying Kai." I didn't even notice, but he was right. He sat in front of me and tilted his head. "Don't cry. It's over. Next time you'll know better than to disobey." I nodded. I couldn't move. If I moved, I felt nothin' but a burnin' pain. He got up and left, lockin' me in here. He didn't take my stuff though, so that's how I was able ta write this.

At least that's something...heh, wow, I think this is my longest entry yet...I always thought my longest would be something good. Somethin' I'd wanna remember.

~8~

9: Date: Three days later...
Date: Three days later...

I'm under house arrest. It's been like, three days since I was locked in there. My back hurts like you wouldn't believe and if I ain't careful, I'll reopen the wounds. I've taken to layin' in bed all day on my stomach so I don't make it worse.

I also learned that the rope that's still tied around my neck kinda makes me more real. Cause I'm bound to a physical form, I'm startin' ta get physical needs or somethin'. Like, I gotta breathe now, and I have ta eat, or I'll get real sick. I also need water too. It's such a pain.

Mother Shia stopped by on the first day I was out. She didn't say much, just sat and petted my hair and told me it was alright. She stayed the whole night with me, and actually explained the whole thin' about the ropes and what they do. I think she only did that cause I thought I was dyin' when I was gettin' sleepy. She laughed at me at first and then explained it. I don't blame her, I musta sounded stupid.

Yesterday, Brith came ta see me. Watcher was there too, but he was just sittin' on the edge a my bed and drawin'. He was real nice about me not bein' able ta draw much with him. Every time I move my arms even a little bit, it hurts me. I started one sketch though, so at least that was somethin', right? Brith and Watcher hung around until it got later, and then they left me to sleep. And I did, for like an hour.

Around that time I heard the door to my room open, so I pushed myself up on my elbows. I looked at the door ta see the last person I wanted ta see. Yup, Lord Tamos just stood there fer a minute lookin' at me. I don't think he expected me ta be awake. That really didn't matter right then though, I was just terrified. I started shakin' and I couldn't breathe right, kept gaspin' fer air. I couldn't hold myself up no more so I layed down and hid my head under my arms.

I didn't hear him leave, but I still thought he left, cause I heard the door shut. I actually relaxed a bit and started ta calm down. Right when I was startin' ta doze off, I felt a hand on my back. I hissed, it hurt! And he knows I'm hurt to, like really, he did it! I told him ta leave me alone an he just sighed.

Then I feel him slippin' his hands under my chest ta pull me up. I ain't gonna fight or nothin', that woulda been stupid. Mighta reopened my wound if I tried...

But then I was sittin' up and he was just holdin' me and I was real nervous. I was scared that I'd be hurt again. But he just said, "I had ta do it love. Ya gotta learn ta listen. You'll get yerself killed pullin' shit like that." I just nodded. "Why're ya so tense? I ain't gonna hurt ya again." He just rubbed my arm and with one hand and held me tighter. I gasped in pain, cause really, I'm still hurt. "Of all my shades, you're the most important. My personal favorite."

I didn't like how he said that, made my skin crawl, but I asked, "...I am? More than Lady Niya and Lord Tamlyr?"

He just buried his face in my neck and hummed. "Well, that's different. They're my parents, and they've been real supportive of all this. But I like them in a more familial way. Ya know?"

"...y-yeah?...I think..." I just about jumped outta my skin when I felt his hand slide up my shirt, I dunno what he was up to, but I don't think I wanna know. I just said, "C-can I go back ta sleep? Mother Shia says I won't get better if I don't rest."

"Hnn, fine. But make sure ya don't pull anythin' like ya did with the angel's again. Got it?" He growled and let me go. "I don't wanna hafta hurt ya again." Then he got up and left and I layed down again and fell asleep again.

~9~