~II~
"ISN'T this room just lovely!" cried Kate for the third time in just one hour. She had fallen in love with it the moment they had entered, and other than an awkward check-in, which had involved a handful of yuppie on-lookers, everything thus far was perfect. Her mother murmured her agreement for just as many times in that same hour.
The room was beautifully decorated in Laura Ashley like prints of pink and white floral. A canopy bed, that was so high they really needed a step stool to climb into it, filled the room that was on the corner of the guest house, thereby giving them views out of two windows, one to the harbor, as depicted in the brochure, and one to the First Congressional Church, whose chimes they could charmingly hear on the hour.
Kate could not have been happier with the arrangements. It was not the room she had longed for originally when she first made their reservation. Then she had set her heart on the blue decor room from the picture in the brochure, but now she saw firsthand that they had actually received the better deal.
Mrs. Lindstrom was quite pleased, as well, as she, along with her daughter, flew about the room inspecting and studying every facet with delight. Before they knew it, an hour had almost passed, and it was time for dinner.
Kate had planned the whole itinerary of their weekend months ahead of time. She knew each moment of any given day what they would be doing and, generally, where. Therefore, on their first night on the island, she had proposed they have a nice, quiet welcoming dinner at the Rose and Crown, which was right around the corner, practically, from where they were staying or so she assured her mother. They were extremely worn out from their day's travels, so a long walk would not do this evening. Short and sweet was the idea. Hence, the Rose and Crown was agreed upon. It was supposedly a very, inexpensive place to eat according to one of the older guidebooks. Kate hoped that was still the case.
Before venturing out, they decided to freshen up from the wear and tear of bus riding and ferrying along with the ravages of sun and wind. Kate used the mirror at the bureau while her mom made use of the private bathroom.
Kate checked her appearance; average, she decided. Sometimes, she saw a dowdy, spinster staring back at her in her reflection; sometimes, a wily, bright-eyed girl. This day, as with most days, she saw something in between the two extremes. She certainly didn't consider herself beautiful, but she also no longer considered herself ugly as she once had as a child, especially when neighborhood kids would taunt her. Basically, she regarded her looks as just all right, nothing special, just average.
Her hair was long, straight as a board, and brown with gray beginning to appear here and there. She generally wore it pulled back with a barrette or in a bun. In her youth, someone had commented that the color was dirty blond, which had never failed after that to conjure to mind the image of dirty, dishwater. However, the color had grown darker as she had grown older, so Kate hoped the comparison no longer rang true. Some nights she would sleep with her hair in soft rollers. Then in the morning it would be very curly, but being that it was so fine, it would normally only last a half a day and relax into a wave by the evening. In the past, she had permed her hair repeatedly and had so damaged it, that she had stopped completely. Now hairdressers told her that it was like virgin hair, whatever that meant.
Kate’s eyes were somewhere between gray and blue. Her eyebrows were her one facial feature Kate herself admired, as they were nearly, perfectly shaped, having never needed plucking, not once in her entire life, and for that reason, she would never touch them. The old adage, Don’t fix what isn’t broken, came to mind. Her nose was like her father's; her chin most like her mother's; her neck was her own yet too skinny in her opinion, which made her all the more inclined to want to cover it up. She had a huge smile when she chose to smile, and it might have been perfect were it not for a prominent gap between the two front teeth that four years of braces had failed to correct. Some had told her it made her more approachable. Consequently, she never attempted to fix it again, though it was wide enough to stick her thumbnail between, which she would often do when she was nervous.
She was neither skinny nor obese, somewhere in between though she was aware in the back of her mind that she was slightly overweight for a person of her height, which was about five feet two inches. She did consider herself well-proportioned and believed that with age, she had become "healthier" looking and more natural.
Some people thought she had a hang-up about her looks, but Kate believed she was just honest or realistic about herself. She had told a co-worker once that she definitely liked her looks better in the winter than in the summer, which had caused the other to laugh, but Kate felt it most true. In the winter when the sun was weakest, her complexion was best; maybe even her hair, too. As far as the rest of her appearance, she believed it as well. In the autumn, she’d breathed a sigh of relief that she could finally dress in her many layers of clothing, which of course, she could not get away with in the summer months, but with which she could carry into spring, as she did now.
Giving her hair a few, quick strokes and realizing it helpless, thanks to the nice mess the wind had made of it on the ferry, Kate gave one last look in the mirror and decided it was the best she could do for the time being. Plus, she was anxious to start the evening. Kate and her mom headed out.
The walk to the restaurant was quick but pleasant as the sun had set and the wind had died down, leaving a sharpness and clearness to the royal blue night sky all around them.
They were early, so the restaurant was not yet crowded for dinner being only six o'clock. Apparently, the people headed out to eat later on Nantucket. “Looks like the ferry crowd hasn't made it out of their inns yet,” thought Kate aloud as they waited for the hostess.
They were seated by a window overlooking the sidewalk. Immediately, Kate felt the place had atmosphere and was happy to learn that her mother felt the same. Atmosphere was something that always excited them both.
Other than the lit candle on their table, the lighting in the whole place was rather dim, and that was fine and, actually, preferable to Kate. It was exactly the kind of setting Kate loved and looked forward to in dining out, and she was fairly certain that her mother would agree with her.
As they received their menus, Kate took note of the fact that the prices were still steep, but not as high as they might have been, and she was grateful to see entrees for ten dollars. She believed she could afford that price, though by the expression on her mother's face, Kate guessed her mom thought it still high. In the months previous, the issue of money had come up and the expense of such a costly trip, but Kate saw no problem as she had saved well in advance and knew they would just be doing the bare minimum, staying in the least expensive place on the island, eating at the least costly restaurants. No, money, in Kate's mind, would not be a problem. She had wanted this for too long and had worked and saved too hard.
Their waitress came along, and they ordered. Kate generally had a glass of wine with her meal. She preferred red wine in the cooler months and white wine in the summer, but tonight she would depart from the usual and have something more in keeping with their location. She decided on a Cape Cod considering the mixture of cranberry juice and vodka to be particularly appropriate for the occasion. It arrived in a huge glass, which pleased Kate even more while causing Erin Lindstrom to frown.
Kate suspected that her mother, frequently, thought or worried that her daughter might be a bit of a lush, at best, or a borderline alcoholic, at worst. Sometimes Kate wondered it herself. If truth be told, she had tended to drink more in recent years, more frequently, but knowing the combination of her family's history, her Irish heritage, her compulsive nature at times, she checked herself carefully and saw to it that unlike her early twenties when she went on binges at times and then refrained for months afterwards, she now limited herself to a couple of drinks at a time. Kate's philosophy was this: All of life is a gift from God including food and drink, and she saw no harm in partaking as long as she did not overindulge. She simply enjoyed a nice glass of wine or cocktail the same way she would enjoy her meal. They were life's little pleasures, and she relished them.
Kate was taking it all in - the food, the decor, the atmosphere when she caught sight of something out of the corner of her eye. Actually, what she saw was not something but a glimpse of someone as she spotted a stranger sitting across the room at a table against the wall. The person was male, and he was watching her! Kate noted that he was smiling as well as staring, and it unnerved her. There was nothing she could tolerate less in the world than a starer, and she absolutely abhorred those who stared at her for no good reason.
"Oh, brother," Kate mumbled aloud.
"What?" asked her mother diverting her attention from the tour books of which she had previously been absorbed.
Kate explained uneasily. She also began to see red as the man continued his watch. She looked away as her mother glanced over in the general direction of where the perpetrator was sitting. Kate became exasperated, fearing her mother's conspicuousness would only encourage the obviously unbalanced man even further.
Erin remarked as she turned back to her daughter, "Maybe he likes you."
"How can he like me, Ma? He doesn't even know me," Kate scoffed. She was doing her best to ignore him, but she could sense that unlike decent people, this culprit had not had the common courtesy to look away as yet, and this infuriated Kate.
Whenever she found someone staring at her, Kate took it to mean that there was something wrong with her, drastically wrong to provoke such unwarranted behavior. Her mother from time to time remarked when children stared that they may have thought her daughter beautiful, but Kate didn't believe it for a minute. People stared, in her opinion, because something was wrong -- with her -- and it always left her feeling unsettled.
Still, this stranger stared with a smile, a bemused, quirky smile. Kate decided to let him know she was on to him. Turning, she looked straight at him to register her displeasure. Her jaw was set hard and her eyes slits as she bore her gaze into him. The quirky man merely smiled even wider, apparently, delighted by her notice of him or by her subsequent behavior. In fact, now Kate gathered that he was laughing as well. She gave up and went back to ignoring him.
The waitress came along and asked Kate and her mom about dessert. While they were deciding, Kate glanced over at the starer's table again and noticed with surprise that he was gone, but as the waitress moved away, Kate was startled to find the man walking right by their table. She glanced up at the same moment that he glanced down and their eyes met briefly. Once more, he smiled at Kate, not a leering smile, but a friendly, cordial smile. Kate was taken aback and despite her previous animosity to this man, she found herself returning his genteel gesture in kind. Then he was past their table, and Kate breathed a sigh of relief. She had been leaning slightly forward in her seat with her elbows on the table. Now Kate sat back; she could relax without being scrutinized.
Their desserts arrived, and Kate enjoyed the moment and the fact that she was finally in the place she had dreamed about almost every day for a year -- Nantucket! She contentedly reflected over an Irish Coffee, her chosen dessert, that they had a whole weekend before them, and even though it was just a weekend and would go by quickly, she just knew in her heart that it would be satisfying and all she had imagined.
Kate barely gave the starer another thought as she anticipated what she and her mother would be doing that weekend, how they would spend their time, but after finishing dessert, paying the bill, followed by a leisurely walk around town, at the inn, the stranger popped back into her thoughts. The image of him was an unwelcome distraction that Kate fought hard to push out of her mind.
Once settled in their room, Kate and Mrs. Lindstrom read for a bit before turning out the light on a long day. As Kate went to the window to look out before climbing into bed, a habit she always followed no matter where she was, she couldn't help thinking about the man in the restaurant. Kate recalled his face, which had been so friendly, regardless of his obnoxious staring.
A ship's horn sounded as she watched the 10:45 ferry chugging into the harbor. It didn't break her concentration as she let her thoughts continue to ponder who the stranger might be. She wondered if he was a visitor to the island like her or an islander, a native. As he crossed her mind, Kate thought about that smile of his, and the memory of it caused a smile to creep across her own face, in spite of herself.
3: Excursions~III~
SATURDAY morning greeted them with spectacular sunshine as the day came with much haste, same as it always did for Kate, but this time she did not mind since there was so much she was planning to see and do. They had a full schedule, and Kate knew they would be lucky to accomplish half of it.
To save time and money, originally, Kate had intended for them to take advantage of the continental breakfasts offered each morning at the inn, but Kate's mom had suggested it would be more advantageous to have a big breakfast somewhere so they could skip lunch and save that way. Kate agreed for this was the method they usually followed for meals when traveling. She had hoped they would break that rule to experience lunch at the place listed in all the tour books as a must see, the Nantucket Pharmacy, but now her only wish was to stop by the lunch counter to at least have a milkshake. Everything she had read described the quaint, old-fashioned pharmacy with its heyday lunch counter as nostalgic and the place to go. Friends had also recommended it. Kate wanted to experience it, as she wanted to experience everything that was considered Nantucket.
For their big breakfast, they came across a place not far from where they had dinner the night before. The establishment was called the Fog Island Cafe, and for the next three mornings, they would make it their home away from home. The place had atmosphere, but more importantly, it had great food, and Kate was excited to see cranberry pancakes on the menu. In keeping with the spirit of having food and drink of the region, Kate, without hesitation, ordered the cranberry breakfast. She might have had the cranberry tea as well, but she decided not to overdo it.
The cafe was busy, but Kate and Mrs. Lindstrom enjoyed a leisurely breakfast, which provided them good sustenance for the busy day ahead. After Kate had finished her third cup of coffee, they set out on their adventure.
First on Kate's list was the Whaling Museum, then the Peter Folger Museum right next door. Kate was disappointed, however, to discover the latter closed due to the off-season. She had known that certain restaurants and inns would be closed, but it had not occurred to her that some of the attractions would be also. She wondered now what else she had planned that they would not have the chance to see.
After the Whaling Museum and a trip to the gift shop, which brought the discovery of cranberry candy bars, Kate decided they were close enough to the Antheum to pay a quick visit there. The building that housed the library was just as Kate had envisioned, and after touring all three of its main floors, she thought to herself that Nantucket Town had a better library than her own town had.
As Kate and her mother walked across the street from the Antheum, they wandered down a little street behind the Catholic Church, which Kate made a mental note of for later. Being a sound Catholic, Kate never missed Sunday Mass no matter where she might be. In fact, she considered it a special privilege and pleasure to visit the churches of the towns and cities in their travels. Nantucket would be no exception. She was looking forward to Sunday morning service at St. Mary's, Our Lady of the Isle Church, of which she still had not seen the front as they became preoccupied by another building on this little path called North Union Street.
The building was the Gaslight Theater, which Kate had also read about beforehand and to which she had included on their itinerary. The idea of this trip, asides from sightseeing, was to see if she might choose to live on this island one day, and it would be of monumental importance to Kate that it have at least one decent movie theater, being the fan of film that she was. Nantucket, she knew, had three theaters, but two were closed as merely seasonal establishments and existed for the tourists more than for the residents. This little theater was open year round. Kate was only disappointed by its size; otherwise, she was delighted to have stumbled upon it, and they planned then and there to return later for the eight o'clock show that evening.
Next they headed to the Main Street with all of its many shops. Kate was impressed with all of the businesses along it. Not one window revealed an empty storefront, again, in direct contrast to her hometown.
Everything about Nantucket Town impressed her from the cobblestone streets to the Pacific Bank. It was everything she had imagined and more, except for the people. She had not imagined the people they would encounter, and what's worse, she was unprepared for it, that even in this time, the supposedly non-tourist season, its streets would be so crowded. Plus, there was an attitude among these visitors that Kate did not appreciate, a general pretension existed that she immediately despised as she would anywhere, any place. She wondered if she would ever be able to make Nantucket her home as a result.
As they were window shopping, they happened across the Nantucket Pharmacy and right next door to it the Congdon Pharmacy. Kate was elated; remembering her plan, they wandered in for their milkshakes.
Kate was shocked to see that even if they kept to her original plan to have lunch at the place, they would have been sadly disappointed for it was a mob scene. In their favor though, the prices, they both noticed, were well in their budget. Kate and her mom agreed it would be better to stop by later in the day when it had quieted down. They meandered next door.
Another disappointment, the Congdon Pharmacy counter they discovered would be closed until the following Monday, or so a little stuffed bear sitting on a stool holding a sign told them.
Kate was beginning to get discouraged. Bit-by-bit, her itinerary was becoming useless, but she told herself and her mother that they would just improvise. They re-evaluated their plan about skipping lunch as they came across a place that looked very inviting. Kate recalled its name from the guidebook her friends had given her, and which, thus far, had proved very useful.
The book listed Arno's Cafe with a two dollar sign, meaning it had entrees between fifteen and twenty-five dollars; a little more than they would normally have wanted to spend, but the place seemed to exude atmosphere. Moreover, they had the time to kill. Kate was also excited to see from the outside that a table was open right near the front window. They entered to find the place fully encamped by the lunch crowd, but not so much so that they were unable to get a table. Kate asked and got the one for which she was hoping.
Half the day had already passed. Kate could not believe how quickly time was flying by. She knew the weekend would be over in a flash, and then it would mean returning to the old routine and her humdrum life. Kate pushed the thought from her mind as she perused the menu. Today and all weekend she would think only pleasant thoughts as if she had all the time in the world and never had to go back to her ordinary life.
As they were ordering, Kate happened across an item on the menu that immediately caught her attention. "What is a Nantucket Red?" Kate inquired of the waitress, "Some sort of beer?"
The waitress informed Kate that it was like a Mimosa but instead of orange juice with the champagne, it was cranberry juice. Kate was thrilled! She ordered one as they waited for their entrees, reflecting on the fact that, thus far, she had partaken of a Cape Cod, cranberry pancakes, and now would experience a Nantucket Red. Kate felt quite pleased with her culinary choices, at least, though she still chastised herself for not researching more thoroughly the off-season schedules for the attractions.
After lunch, in the late afternoon, Kate and Mrs. Lindstrom headed for the churches -- the Old South Unitarian Church, which was closed to tours, the North Congressional Church, which was also closed. As well, they tried to tour the Mitchell House and Planetarium, both closed. Kate felt a certain level of despondency. This was not how she had foreseen the trip in her mind's eye. If it had just been herself alone, she might have just started walking for the beaches to see how far she could get on foot, but with her mother, this option was not wise. The cobblestone streets and brick paths had already begun to take their toll on Erin Lindstrom.
They made one last stop before walking back to the main street. They had a pass that the whaling museum had given them to tour one of the old houses, which they did, as well as spotting the Three Bricks or the identical mansions built by one of Nantucket's first and oldest families, the Starbucks. Having completed these jaunts, Kate judged it best to head back to the town and maybe view the shops for a bit longer before having a light supper. They would have skipped dinner, but once again, with their original plans thwarted, they had time on their hands.
It was now late afternoon. Nantucket Pharmacy was finally empty. Kate and Erin had their choice of seats at the counter, whereas earlier they hadn't even been able to get near it! Kate ordered a vanilla milkshake; her mother ordered strawberry. Kate shook her head sadly. Nothing in the day had gone as she had originally planned, but she still held out hope that the evening would work out. The day had not been terrible only somewhat disappointing.
"Oh, well," she told herself and then her mother, "I came as much to see the island under normal circumstances than to see it just as a tourist seeing the sights."
Kate's mother nodded, but Kate realized that her mother had accompanied her mainly as a tourist. She had no desire to move to the island as Kate did. It caused Kate to wonder if perhaps her mother's disappointment might even be greater than her own just about then.
The thought made Kate feel even worse though Mrs. Lindstrom had not said a word until she suggested they finish their milkshakes outside as they walked. She also pointed out to Kate that having them so close to dinner might ruin their appetite. Kate had thought of this as well, but she only replied, "Well, this way we'll eat less." Kate's mom agreed as they left the pharmacy.
As they started to pass by the shops, Kate realized that it might have been a bad idea since Kate was perfectly content to walk by the shops, but her mother was a different story. Before long, Kate was following her in and out of the little boutiques and out of each mom and pop store along the main drag. At first Kate had been interested, but then she quickly tired of them as she could ill afford to buy anything, so she saw no point to looking and, in fact, felt it a complete waste of time. Besides, there was nothing she needed, she surmised. Yet, if it made her mother happy, then Kate would trudge along gladly. After all, she wanted her mother to enjoy something of the weekend or to salvage something of the day, anyway.
While Mrs. Lindstrom continued to browse from one shop to another, Kate finally contented herself by standing outside watching the activities of the people coming to and fro. They had reached nearly the last leg of Main Street, the lower section. Kate saw the end in sight, as the wharf was clearly visible.
If truth be told, Kate didn't mind waiting for her mother since she was simply enjoying the fresh air and beautiful day with which they had been blessed. "At least the weather has cooperated this weekend," she said to herself with a chuckle.
Kate closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the shop she happened across. She was basking in the moment, feeling the warm rays upon her face of the April sun which was already diminishing in the late afternoon sky, when a voice nearby, very close, crystal clear, and very sudden, startled her.
"Hello!" the strong voice said cheerfully. "Are you waiting for me?"
4: First Meeting~IV~
KATE'S eyes flew open wide at the realization that the salutation and succeeding question were addressed to her. She turned suddenly to the direction from where the voice had come and found herself face to face with him - the man from the night before - the starer, and here he was presently speaking to her! Kate stood up straight from where she had been leaning as surprise overtook her.
Although the night before, she had been annoyed with what she considered the man's apparent rudeness, and though she would have loved the opportunity then to have told him off, she currently found herself at a loss for words except to utter a hello back. She did not have it in her just at this time to speak her mind of the previous night due to the good will that greeted her. It made it near impossible for her to be aggrieved any longer, and Kate could no more conjure up a negative thought against the man than she could against the Pope. For this gentleman (and he did appear to have the nature of a gentle man) before her was possessed of a demeanor so cordial and so pleasant that harboring any grudge against him seemed quite out of the question and receded quickly from her mind in the face of his abundant optimism and cheerfulness.
Kate took note of the fact that he was smiling at her with the friendliest of expressions and the sincerest of countenances, and she found herself smiling back at him though somewhat cautiously as she was suspicious by nature of strangers, particularly strange men. She searched her mind back a few seconds earlier as he appeared to be waiting for an answer.
What had he just asked her a moment ago? Kate could not remember.
The stranger spoke again in cordial tones. "How are you?"
"Fine," Kate heard herself reply though the question and her answer seemed absurd to her since she did not know this person, and yet he was asking her how she was as if he had known her for years and had just met up with her for the first time in a long while.
Now, outside, and in the light of day, at such close proximity, as he was standing a mere few feet away from her, she had the chance to study him. He had, apparently, studied her the night before. Therefore, she felt it only fair that she should return the favor.
Kate sized him up first. The man who stood before her was about five feet nine inches and of medium build. Though he was taller than Kate, he did not tower over her. Noticing his height led her to observe that which was at the top, mainly, that he had thick chestnut hair that appeared unruly by the nature of its extreme curliness (more wave than curl really), though Kate did not think it ridiculously so, not in a Harpo Marx style anyway, but enough so as to make it look completely unmanageable and near impossible to comb. Nevertheless, she liked it. As it was going in every which way, tousled by the wind which blew it about, Kate got the sense that his tresses were always like this whether favored by the climate or not. She noticed that when the sun hit the strands a certain way, a tint of red highlighted the abundant masses.
Studying him further, Kate observed that the stranger had neither beard nor mustache; that his complexion was somewhat ruddy or flushed, which Kate surmised contributed to his jovial countenance. She was terrible at guessing ages, but she supposed him to be maybe five years older than her or forty-two.
Next, Kate took in his attire. The fellow wore khaki slacks, a turtleneck, a crew-neck sweater, all in dark colors, along with an outdoors-man's jacket that was well worn but suited him, nonetheless. He was dressed casually enough to suggest to Kate that he might have been out on a fishing trip for the day, having just returned. He carried a white paper bag in his left hand.
Kate could not tell about the stranger's eyes. They were either gray or gray-blue. She could not determine, but she didn't wish to stare, as she became aware, at once, that she was doing or had been doing, and for how long, she did not know. Suddenly, Kate became embarrassed and held up her hands to block the sun from her eyes as much as to shield herself from his view. Darn, if she hadn't forgotten to wear her sunglasses!
The man, for his part, seemed perpetually amused and pressed on. "I saw you last night. At the Rose & Crown?" He paused for Kate's recognition.
"Oh, yes, I saw you seeing me," she answered somewhat flatly but with some measure of cheer still, though she had managed to get in her jib, at last, against his behavior of the previous night. She wanted to make him aware, at least, that she had been wise to him.
He just laughed heartily and easily. "Yes, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude or to make you uncomfortable. I was just curious is all."
"Oh, was that it?" queried Kate, vaguely disappointed though she wasn't certain why.
"Well," he began as he looked down for a moment, abashed for the first time, and replied, "I knew you weren't an islander, and I knew I hadn't seen you here as a tourist before. In fact, you didn't look like the typical Nantucket tourist at all. You seemed..." he searched for the word..."different."
"Oh, really?" Kate puzzled even though she barely minded the remark since she considered being different a great attribute if it meant being unique. However, when it brought the wrong kind of attention to her, then she'd always wished she were anything but.
Fearing that he might have insulted her, the man quickly added, "I just wondered what brought you to the island this time of year." He looked up again as he waited for her response.
"For peace and quiet!" answered Kate abruptly and directly as if to make a point. Then more gently, "I was looking for peace and quiet, and I guessed that the high season was not the time to find it."
He grinned knowingly. "Oh, you guessed right about that. So you've never been here before then?" he began a line of questioning.
"No, this is my first time."
"And how do you like the Island so far? Are you finding it peaceful and quiet?" he asked with a glint in his eye.
Now it was Kate's turn to grin. His voice had an almost lyrical quality to it that was very pleasant to the ear, but Kate couldn't decide if he was teasing her, goading her, or genuinely interested. She concluded that it was probably a combination.
"Pretty much," she answered short and clipped, as she didn't feel it right to give this perfect stranger too much information. Then she added as an afterthought, "It's also a good place to write about."
"Oh, are you a writer?" The man asked intrigued.
"Of sorts," Kate responded swiftly but honestly.
"How interesting! And what are you writing about now?"
Kate grinned before answering. "A story about Nantucket."
The stranger's eyes lit up. "Really?"
She knew that remark had got his attention, as if she had to wonder.
He seemed momentarily and unbelievably stunned into silence by her admission, but then just as quickly, he recovered as he suddenly remembered, "Oh, forgive me, I didn't introduce myself." He held out his hand to her, "I'm Tim O'Malley, Timothy O'Malley, but everyone calls me Tim.
He waited for her to respond in kind. She took his hand gingerly, still somewhat apprehensive as she responded, "I'm Kate Lindstrom."
"Ah, Kate," he said pleased, as if he liked the name, shaking her hand firmly.
"Actually," she started as she felt inclined to give him the whole story, "Katherine is my real name. Some call me Katie, but I prefer Kate," though as she said it, Kate realized that she seldom introduced herself that way to those she did not know. Her nickname always came later with those with whom she felt most comfortable; yet, here she was casually spilling it out to him. It worried her. It also concerned her that he, still, was holding her hand.
"Well, it's very nice to meet you, Kate," Tim O'Malley replied, finally releasing her hand as if he had read her thoughts. He began to move towards the door of the shop of which they were in front. "I thought that maybe you had been waiting for me to reopen; I had just gone to get a bite to eat," he explained as he held up the bag he had been carrying.
Kate was confused, but now she recalled what he had asked when she first heard his voice. "Waiting for you?" she repeated looking towards him and the shop.
"Yeah, waiting for me to reopen," he repeated, continuing to look amused. He was reaching for something in his pocket, his keys.
Still slightly befuddled, Kate responded, "No, I was waiting for my mother. She loves to run in and out of the shops. She's in one of them now, but I don't know which." Kate looked about. "I seem to have lost her." She looked back at him.
"Oh, I see," he said. "Well, you're welcome to wait in my shop if you like," Tim offered pleasantly.
"Well..." Kate hesitated slightly, "Okay, if it's not too far."
"No, not far at all. In fact, you're standing in front of it," he chuckled as he moved to unlock the door.
"Oh!" Kate exclaimed as she turned to look up at a sign over the shop which read in beautiful antique letters O'Malley's. In smaller lettering underneath the name, Kate read Fine Glassware and Gifts. She was immediately impressed.
"I tried to come up with something more original, but I'm afraid I'm not that clever," he apologized as he led her into the little shop.
"No, O'Malley's is a good name for a shop," Kate stated in her honest opinion.
"Mmm, also a good name for a pub," remarked Tim. There's an O'Malley's in Boston."
"Any relation?" asked Kate, interested.
"My brother. Actually, it's been in the family for three generations. I worked there, too, for a while out of college," he elaborated for her.
"Oh, really?" Kate asked more intrigued by the minute.
"Oh, yeah, in fact, I helped run it until I realized I couldn't stand the hours, and so I chose a quieter and more peaceful existence, too," he finished with a grin.
Kate grinned, as well, at the use of her own words back at her. "So you're an Islander then though not a native."
"Yeah, I hope it still counts," Tim responded playfully. Kate only laughed. "C'mon inside, all the way inside," he motioned her further into the heart of the shop as he realized they had been standing at the entrance for quite some time.
They stepped further in, and immediately Kate was enthralled and perplexed. As she walked about, she reflected on how easily she had ended up in his shop, and that of all the shops on that street, she arbitrarily would wind up standing in front of his. It seemed a little too coincidental, and besides, Kate didn't believe in coincidences. His next statement brought her out of her reverie, though he seemed to have a similar thought.
"So, it wasn't shopping that brought you before my shop, just luck," he remarked casually but in all seriousness as he watched her.
Kate only shrugged, bewitched that he seemed to know her mind and what she was thinking, at least for the second time.
As he led her proudly around the shop to show off his wares, Kate was in awe and perhaps a tad envious. She had dreamed for years of having a nice, little gift shop such as this with beautiful items as he had on display. It was like a magical place to her. There were the usual chalices, goblets, pitchers and such about, but more than all of that were the fairy tale pieces of sculpted glass -- glass blown swans and doves, and figurines of every sort, and prisms that cast fantastic rainbows all about the store from the sunlight directly hitting the windows where they hung. Kate was enchanted.
Tim observed her reaction carefully the whole time and joyfully asked, "Well, how do you like it, my humble little shop?"
Kate turned to him and gushed, "Oh, it's beautiful! She continued to look about, studying the individual pieces. "Do you make them yourself or have them shipped in?" she inquired.
"A little of both," he answered matter-of-factly. "The goblets and such are fairly easy to do and far less time consuming." He picked one up as he spoke. Then he moved to the more delicate items. He explained, "The figurines I have a harder time with, but I am getting better all the time."
He took from one shelf a little swan. It was one of the loveliest things Kate had ever seen. Not since Disney World had she seen such items as these. In Disney's shops, they had demonstrated the art of glass blowing right on the premises in full view of the customers but where all the pieces were images from Disney's vast storehouse of fairy stories and characters such as Cinderella's glass slipper or Mickey Mouse sculpted in glass. Any other glass shops that Kate had visited had been confined to little carts in the local mall at home. Though she was often drawn to the items for their exquisite beauty, she never bought any due to their cost. She had, however, received them as gifts.
Tim asked, "What do you think of my handiwork?"
"It's lovely," Kate said admiring the items. "You do excellent work," she praised him and with a smile. "I own a few pieces given me as gifts," she reflected, holding one of his pieces up to the light. "Well, actually," Kate corrected herself, "just two -- a cross and an angel." She placed the piece she had been holding back on the shelf.
"Here's a cross," Tim pointed out as he took it from the shelf and handed it to her.
It was like the one her brother had given her, which had gold braiding adorning it, entwined with a pink rose. This one made by Tim O'Malley was more deeply cut and a little larger but still would have made an excellent companion to the piece she already possessed. She set it back down on the shelf.
"An angel...angel," he began thoughtfully and then admitted, "I have yet to try that."
"They're pretty hard, I think," warned Kate. "My former pastor said the one I have looks more like a duck though it was given to me by a former associate pastor, so I treasure it."
Tim remarked softly, "An angel for an angel."
His comment caused Kate to suddenly look up at him to see if he was sincere, but then she looked away, back into past. Prompted by his words, a memory came to her all at once. She shared it with Tim, "It meant even more because of what he had wrote on the card: To the Angel of the Cathedral, which is where I worked," she clarified for him though she need not have because he understood perfectly.
"And I bet you were, too," Tim stated quietly but emphatically.
Kate turned her face upwards again to check his expression. He was not teasing or taunting her or making fun of her. In fact, there was no indication of any jest. All that was apparent was his ever-present smile though now if somewhat subdued. He had managed to stun her into silence. Confused, she looked about the shop.
"What are you looking for?" he asked her in good humor.
Kate looked at him once more incredulously. "I'm looking to see if you're real or just a figment of my imagination."
Tim chuckled at her answer. "You're funny," he observed as he began to reach for something. He picked up the cross. "Here, I want you to have this." He handed it to her.
Once more, Kate was stunned but managed to speak this time. "No I can't...it's too much!" She tried to hand it back.
"I'll make another," he said with a shrug.
Kate was flabbergasted at the gift, which she knew was not cheap. "I don't think you'd want me to have it if you knew how clumsy I am. Of the two pieces I have at home, I've broken both of them!" she exclaimed.
Tim gave a mock look of shock as he made a gasping sound.
Kate recognized his teasing by now and continued regardless of it. "I had to glue both back together."
"And how do they look?" he asked encouraging her to tell.
"Well, luckily they were clean breaks, so it's hard to see where they broke. Still, I always know, and they'll never be perfect as they once were," she bemoaned.
"I doubt they ever were," Tim responded. "All works of art have some flaw in them that perhaps only the artist is aware of."
Kate believed this, as well, but she continued woefully in another vein. "The angel was the worst. I decapitated it and had to glue the head back on!" she related, to which they both laughed.
"Well, being an angel, I'm sure it didn't mind," consoled Tim.
Kate couldn't believe it. She realized that sometime had passed, and here she had been conversing with this total stranger as easily as if she had known him all her life, and what's more, she suddenly realized that she was enjoying it! Then she caught sight of the clock on the wall and recognizing the time, which was nearly five o'clock, she began to bolt, wondering how she had lost track of the time. Her mother would be frantic!
"I have to go. I was supposed to be waiting for my mother. She'll be looking for me!" Kate fretted. She put the cross down, forgetting he had offered it to her. He reminded her.
"No, take it. I want you to have it," Tim said as he attempted to place it back in her hand.
"Oh, I can't! Thank you, but no, it's too generous!" Kate argued, pushing the article away.
"I'll make another. It's no big deal," he urged, pushing it towards her again.
"I'm sure it was!" Kate stood her ground, shoving her hands in her pockets.
"Can't I persuade you?" he asked.
"No, it's lovely, really, but you keep it; you can sell it for quite a lot, I'm sure," responded Kate confidently.
"Okay, if you won't accept my gift, then how about a drink?" proposed Tim succinctly as he placed the cross back on the shelf in its designated spot.
The question took Kate completely off guard. She had not been expecting this change of subject. "What?" She stared blankly at him.
"A drink, you know?" he gestured with his hand as if tipping a glass. "Come and have a drink with me. I'll be closing the shop in a few minutes, we could go then if you don't mind waiting for me to cash out."
"But…but…I don't even…know you!" stammered Kate uncomfortably and still staring.
Tim grinned at her and shook his head in amazement. "That's the idea behind the drink! I hope that you'll get to know me by having a drink with me, and vice versa, that I'll get to know you," he explained patiently. "What do you say?"
Kate hesitated and felt herself slipping, still taken aback by his sudden invitation. Part of her wanted to go; the other part was cautious and uncertain. After all, it wasn't every day that she was asked out for a drink by a man. Careful, Kate, she warned herself. Then she gathered her wits about her again and responded emphatically, "No, I can't. I have to meet my mother." Kate thought she saw a flash of disappointment on Tim's ruddy features. "We're going for an early dinner and then a show at the theater." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Kate silently cursed herself for being so open.
"Oh, great, I'm going to that show tonight, too! Perhaps we could go for a drink afterwards," Tim suggested enthusiastically and even more cheerfully than before.
Kate was amazed. Does nothing dampen this man's spirit? she wondered. "Geez, you are persistent!" she observed, getting annoyed.
"Persistence is one of my best qualities," Tim replied joyfully.
"I don't know about that!" chided Kate sharply. He just smiled at her off-handed remark.
"Really, I have to go now. Thank you though," Kate said as graciously as possible as she headed for the door. He followed her. As she reached for the knob, she turned partially towards him and said politely, "Thank you for the invitation, but no thanks. Goodbye."
Just as Kate was preparing to leave, the door opened suddenly to reveal her mother, startling Kate. Of course, it would be just her luck that Kate would try to make a mad dash, her great escape, only to be thwarted in the attempt by her own mother and the woman's notorious efforts to see every shop in a fifty mile radius.
"Mom!" Kate began excitedly, "Have you been looking for me?"
"No, not really," Mrs. Lindstrom answered flatly. "I've just been browsing in and out of shops. I knew you'd find a place to hole up and wait," she commented to her daughter.
Kate brushed over all her mother said in her hope of moving them along. "I'm sorry, Ma, this gentleman was just showing me his shop." Kate turned to indicate Tim whom she was surprised to find close at her heels. Kate found herself uncomfortably sandwiched between the two of them -- her mother in front of her and Tim directly behind her.
No one seemed ready to speak, so Kate started, "Oh Ma, this is Mr. Tim O'Malley, the owner." She gestured to Tim. "This is my mother, Mrs. Lindstrom, Erin Lindstrom," she pointed to her mother.
"How do you do?" Tim offered his hand in the most genteel manner, brushing against Kate to do so.
Kate's mother took it as cautiously as Kate had at first but remembering him from the restaurant the night before, Erin's face lit up, delightfully, with recognition.
"I was just leaving, Mama," Kate spoke quickly, attempting to end the meeting immediately and continue with her escape.
"I just want to have a look around," Kate's mother stated as she began to survey the merchandise.
"Oh, please do!" insisted Tim as he helped clear a path for her.
Kate was agitated with the both of them. Neither was helping her. "I thought you were about to close," Kate snapped with a quick flash of temper.
"I always have time for one more customer," replied Tim with a level of graciousness and merriment that was truly beginning to irritate Kate by now.
"Well, we have no time to buy," Kate stated miserably.
"That's okay. Feel free to browse. I'm in no hurry," he said eyeing Kate with glee as he stepped behind the counter.
Kate shot him a dagger for a look then followed her mother about the store hoping to move her along. This worked against Kate as well for her mom seemed to be taking exorbitant amounts of time as if she had an eternity, much to Kate's great dismay. Is this some kind of conspiracy? She wondered.
"Ma, we really better hurry if we want to have time for dinner before the show," Kate tried to say as gently as possible as she looked over to Tim who had been watching.
"All right, all right," her mother answered vexed. "I'm almost through."
Kate breathed a sigh of relief as she thought, I'm almost home free! Then there was another stall as she heard and saw Tim O'Malley, suddenly, beside them speaking, holding something in his hand.
"I tried to give this piece away, Mrs. Lindstrom, to your daughter, but she wouldn't take it. Would you like to have it?"
Kate was bewildered. What is the devil up to now? she tried to guess. Some kind of backhanded attempt to still get his drink? Kate felt herself reddening by the minute.
"C'mon, Mother, let's go!" Kate grabbed her mom by the arm and herded her out the door with the utmost abruptness.
"Thank you, but I guess not" Mrs. Lindstrom called to Tim from over her shoulder.
Kate could hear him call after them upon their exit, "Nice to have met you ladies!"
As she left, she purposely let the door slam, causing the little bell above it to ring violently. At last, they were safe outside in the sanctuary of the street.
"Who the hell does he think he is?!" Kate demanded aloud. "The nerve of that guy trying to give me something!" Kate huffed with great indignation as she hurried down the street.
Her mother answered her, "Yes, the nerve of him trying to give you something nice. How dare he be so nice!"
Kate recognized her mother's sarcasm, but she said nothing.
Mrs. Lindstrom continued, "Apparently, he is someone very nice. Apparently, he's someone interested in you! You should have taken his gift as he seemed genuinely sincere about wanting you to have it"
Kate stopped dead in her tracks and faced her mother. "Let me make something clear, Ma; I want no favors from men! They only expect favors in return." She turned on her heels and started her stride again.
"Maybe this one is different," her mother suggested.
Kate didn't believe it. She wanted to, but she couldn't bring herself to that point. Prior experience told her it was impossible. That last trick of his had especially pushed Kate to the end of her rope. Previously, they had been getting along so well, too. Then he had gone and spoiled things, in her mind, with his clever little maneuvers.
Isn't that just like a man! thought Kate as she picked up the pace, putting greater and greater distance between herself and Mr. Tim O'Malley.
5: Saturday Night At The Movies~V~
KATE said little over dinner that evening, feeling frustrated, confused, and agitated. She pondered her meeting with the stranger for she couldn't help thinking about it. In a matter of minutes, he had befriended her, made her feel at ease, and then thrown her for a loop by asking her out and just when everything had been going so nicely, too. She also considered it ludicrous that he had attempted to give her the gift of the crystal cross for he hardly knew her! Kate also speculated that had he really known her, her true nature being what it was, then he might never have made the gesture of the gift or extended the offer for the drink.
Kate simply did not go out on dates as a matter of principle, for one. She didn't believe in them since people seldom revealed their true natures but instead put on their best show and airs in order to impress the person they were with. It was unnatural in her mind. Secondly, she considered dating to be the most boring and dullest of social mores. Kate likened it to a slow, drawn out tooth pulling - painful and tortuous. At least, this was her recollection.
Truth be told, Kate had not been on many dates in her life, and so her experience was very limited and narrow, but of the few dates she had endured, all had ended in disaster. She had resolved never to undergo such threats to her psyche again with similar situations.
Damn that man! Kate silently cursed him for ruining her night as she pushed the food about her plate.
Mrs. Lindstrom made small talk and not general small talk either but instead small talk about him - who had become the villain in Kate's eyes.
"He seemed rather jolly," Kate distractedly heard her mother say. "He must be Irish with a name like O'Malley," she persisted.
Kate tried to answer as minimally as possible, hoping her mother would abandon the subject of O'Malley altogether or else move on to some more interesting topic.
Kate took another sip of her Chardonnay, wishing for a whole bottle of wine on this occasion. Her day had been so nice up to the moment when she had first met him or, more precisely, up to the moment when he asked her to have a drink with him. She had been enjoying Nantucket immensely, despite some of the disappointments of not seeing all she had intended. She had already secretly vowed to return at the next possible opportunity. Presently, she questioned that decision in her mind. As she was pondering it, her mother announced that she was finished with her meal, and Kate happily abandoned her train of thought for the time being, grateful for the diversion.
The Gaslight Theatre was not far away. Kate was amazed how everything in the town of Nantucket was within quick walking distance from their inn. Therefore, it did not take them long to reach the theater from the little side street where the restaurant was located. In fact, it was merely a few blocks away. Erin relied on her daughter to lead the way, which was no problem for Kate as she was already familiar with the layout of the town and its cobblestone streets as well as its charming side streets.
She quickened her pace, as she was excited to get to the theater. Everything she had read about the old time movie house had thrilled her, of its modesty and quaintness, and of how in the summer months, wine and snacks were served on its outside courtyard. Kate wondered if she would have the chance to experience it in that particular season. She doubted she would be able to afford a trip in the height of the tourist season. Additionally, the image she conjured up of the hordes that descended upon the island in those months caused her to shudder. No, best to come when it was quiet, she concluded.
A trip to the show never failed to excite her sensibilities, and movies were one of her great passions. Kate had even for a time held aspirations of becoming a great filmmaker and had gone to California and San Francisco, in particular, in her twenties to pursue her goal only to discover that the industry of film was not for her. Yet, she never stopped enjoying the medium and studying film and its technique. She contented herself with being a moviegoer instead of a moviemaker and took great pleasure in watching the finished product where the making of the films, in actuality, had been tedious and tiresome.
When Kate and her mom came up to the theater, they encountered a line to rival any back home in the big theaters. Going to the end of the queue, they wondered if they would even get in. There was talk in the crowd of a sell-out followed by the manager coming out and counting heads. It did not look good, but he ended his count after the Lindstroms, so they made it just in time, by the skin of their teeth.
After having purchased their tickets and some refreshments (not so cheap but not quite as bad as the theaters at home), they settled into their seats, the only two together they could find near the back, which Erin Lindstrom always preferred, and near the middle, which Kate appreciated.
Kate quickly evaluated the place as she did every new theater she patronized. She was astonished at the diminutive size of the place. Everything from its lobby to the actual auditorium was on the smallest scale. She had not seen a theater as miniscule since San Francisco's Opera Cinemas Complex not far from where she had lived in the city. Though at least in this case, she was glad to see the screen was of ample size, which was the most vital thing in Kate's formidable opinion.
They had no sooner sat down and surveyed the premises when she spotted the man from the shop, Tim O'Malley, across the aisle, a few rows down. He had spotted her as well and was waving cheerily.
Kate did not wave back nor express any cheer but instead muttered, "I don't believe this."
Mrs. Lindstrom turned to see what her daughter was grumbling about. "What's the matter now?" she asked perplexed.
Kate hated when people asked her that particular question, phrased in that specific way as if to imply that something was the matter all the time with her, as if it was somehow the norm with her to always have some one thing the matter. It isn't like I complain all the time after all, is it? She wondered. Apparently so to everybody else or this is what she surmised, but this time something truly was the matter, since Kate felt a definite situation developing.
In her abysmal view, they had a happy-go-lucky stalker on their hands, who was following their every move. Granted he was in the theater apparently before them, but it was still a little too coincidental, especially since he knew her plans beforehand. The whole situation struck Kate as just plain goofy and too absurd to be real! She was grateful that all seats on either side of them were occupied so he wouldn't have a chance to infiltrate their space.
She indicated to her mother what was across the aisle. Tim waved again. Erin graciously returned the wave at which Kate pushed her mom's hand down to stop her.
"Don't encourage him, Ma!" Kate admonished. "Let's just ignore him, and he'll leave us alone, hopefully," she stated, none too sure.
Kate tried hard to follow her own advice as best she could, thankful that the movie was starting and would provide the distraction, but she couldn't concentrate. "Damn, now he's ruined the movie for me, too!" exclaimed Kate under her breath. She tried several times to focus her attention on the screen, but her gaze always wandered back to where he was seated.
His presence this close in proximity to her unsettled her, and she wasn't quite sure why. She thought that it was due in part to unfamiliar territory, as this was new to her - a man who showed interest in her! Generally, she ran from situations she didn't know how to handle. Better to run and hide than to confront them head on; at least that seemed to be her pattern.
As Kate sat watching Tim watching the movie, she had to admit that she was curious about him. She wanted to know who he really was and what he wanted with her. "Perhaps, he's just being friendly," she told herself. Maybe it was just neighborliness, but her lack of trust would not allow her to believe it, and so she eyed him suspiciously as if he were the enemy.
He seemed to be alone, looking perfectly content, just watching the film like everyone else in the theater, everyone but Kate, that is. He never turned around again to look her way. He never left for anything. He just sat eating his popcorn, drinking his soda, watching the screen. Kate spied him well.
With the end of the show, she had already planned to make a run for it out of the theater and back to the inn before Tim even turned to leave. She decided she would be like the wind and just blow through there, out of sight and out of mind, or this is how she envisioned her plan, but her mother had other ideas as she announced a trip to the restroom. Her mother, who never so much as took a bathroom break in a full eight-hour day of traveling, now had to go after a two-hour movie! Kate did credit her mom with superb timing.
Kate was forced to cool her heels in the lobby. She fidgeted nervously, pacing from one corner of the small lobby to the other. There wasn't much room to move as the next show's crowd was already entering and filling up the confined space, which consisted merely of a few tables against the wall opposite the refreshment counter from where the tickets were sold as well.
Then Kate saw Tim coming out of the auditorium. She tried to make a dash for any kind of exit route nearby only to discover that the proceeding throng had bottlenecked her in. She froze, undetermined what to do next, when she saw him starting to pass by in the line still filing out of the theater. The two separate crowds were about to converge, and Kate felt trapped. Surely, he would see her! She furtively tried to hide herself amongst some drapery and ferns along one wall, to no avail. All at once, she heard his voice:
"I see you," he said boyishly as if he were a participant in the childhood game of hide and seek.
Kate then realized how foolish her attempted escape of his notice must have appeared to him. She laughed uneasily. "Oh, I was just looking at…uh... um." She looked about helplessly trying to come up with any feeble excuse to explain her bizarre behavior. Without a hope, she drew a blank.
"Ah, yes, at the drapery," interrupted Tim. He moved towards her to pull the curtain behind her forward to inspect it. "Yes, very fine work, isn't it? The craftsmanship is superb, extraordinary!" he teased in a mock superior tone as he held the fabric in his hands pretending to examine it.
Kate couldn't help but laugh and smile at the absurdity of the whole scene while at the same time trying to figure him out. She gave up and only continued to smile.
He smiled at her smile. Then he became mildly serious as he spoke, "I have to say that I am beginning to develop a real inferiority complex. Are you purposely trying to avoid me?"
Noticing the twinkle in his eye, Kate knew he was not really upset but teasing her again. She also sensed that he was enjoying himself immensely. Put on the spot, she owned up. "I suppose so."
Relieved that she had admitted as much but baffled as to why she should feel such, Tim asked, "But why? We had a pleasant time today, didn't we?" He didn't wait for her answer. "Why not have one drink with me and continue the nice time?"
He asked her so serenely, so warmly that Kate really felt tempted, but her answer had to be no. "I can't. You see...I'm here with my mother..." she stammered, "...and, well, I … I don't know you! I'm a perfect stranger to you and you to me!" Kate, feeling herself blush, knew at once that he was aware of it.
"A situation I'd like to amend," Tim said quite gently but firmly.
His tone surprised Kate. He was so sure of himself, and so unlike her. She didn't see a single doubt in his eyes, and she knew, just as well, that hers betrayed all sorts of doubts. She looked away as she spoke, "Well, it's impossible, I'm..."
"What's impossible?" asked Mrs. Lindstrom who had just emerged from the restroom around the corner. Once again, Kate had to applaud her mother's remarkable sense of timing, this time in Kate's favor.
"Mrs. Lindstrom, remember me?" came the words from Tim's mouth before Kate had a chance to steal away.
"Certainly," her mother responded. "How are you since we saw you last, just a few hours ago?"
Bravo, Mother, thought Kate as her mom got in her own subtle touch of biting humor. That'll teach him!
But the man was not to be deterred as he merely smiled while answering, "Well, I confess, I'd be much better if I could convince your daughter to have one drink with me."
Tim gave Kate only a passing glance as if her agreement was suddenly inconsequential and unnecessary now; all of his efforts were redirected to Mrs. Lindstrom, for he reasoned, if he could not get through to the daughter, perhaps the mother was the key, and he would bring all of his persuasive powers to bare as he sought her as his ally.
Kate felt her blood boil. She wished she had a sock to stuff in his mouth to prevent his speech for he seemed to totally disregard all she had just said. How dare he bring her mother into it! Just what did he think he was doing!
He delicately continued, "I wonder if you could convince her where I could not."
Erin Lindstrom looked slightly uneasy. She wasn't certain what to make of the man who seemed so determine to go out with her daughter.
Kate was outraged. The scoundrel was trying to win over her mother with his smoothness and charm. How dare he, how dare he! Kate immediately broke in. "I don't need my mother to answer for me," she said with a smirk.
"I didn't mean to be rude," he politely countered. "Perhaps you would like to join us?" he offered cordially, directing his invitation to Erin.
Where did this 'us business' come from, wondered a wide-eyed Kate. This is getting out of hand!
"No, thank you, anyway, but Kate may go with you," she heard her mother state.
"Oh, thank you, Mother!" Kate remarked sarcastically, disbelieving her ears.
"Yes, thank you!" added a jubilant Tim, who had never fought so hard for anything in all his life and was relieved that the skirmish was over, though his sense was that the war was just beginning.
"I was being sarcastic," corrected Kate as she turned her wrath on him.
"I wasn't," he responded calmly.
Kate observed that his eyes danced with merriment! She turned back to her mother in a last ditch effort to get out of the date. Patiently, she explained, "Mom, what you mean to say is that you're tired, and you'd like me to accompany you back to the inn." Kate's expression begged her mother to agree with her, but before she was able:
"Where are you staying?" Tim jumped in quickly.
Kate didn't stand a chance of silencing her mother, as the answer was out before Kate could even open her own mouth.
"The Perwinkle."
"Oh, that's very close. My car is right around the corner. I could drop you off, Mrs. Lindstrom," obliged Tim.
"No!" interjected an emphatic Kate, trying to stem the infiltration of this cool stranger.
"Well, I am tired," admitted Erin, "but I can make my way to the inn all right."
"No!" repeated Kate staunchly defending her ground. "I'll go with you!"
"We both will!" piped up Tim, not willing to let her get away so easily. "There's a nice, little pub right near your inn, and we won't be far," he reassured them both.
"That sounds fine," said Mrs. Lindstrom.
Tim nodded in appreciation as he ushered them to the door. "My car is right outside."
Mrs. Lindstrom walked ahead as Tim held the door for them; Kate followed along reluctantly. As she passed Tim at the door, she thought she glimpsed a look of triumph in his eyes. She glared at him, feeling rankled, yet, at the same time, totally stupid and inadequate as she retorted, "I don't know... can we trust you?"
"Do I really look so dangerous?" he asked as he followed her out of the theater.
He didn't really, Kate knew, but as her father was fond of saying, these are perilous times, and Kate didn't trust appearances. She said as much. "Oh, I don't know; some of society's greatest mass murderers have been your average next door types."
"There hasn't been a murder on Nantucket for two hundred years," Tim informed her as they walked side by side to his car.
"There's always a first..." Kate volleyed back before her mother cut her off.
"Kate, stop!" Erin reprimanded. She turned to Tim. "Forgive my daughter. She tends to be argumentative."
Tim looked kindly on Mrs. Lindstrom as she spoke; then he glanced back at Kate who had halted in her step from her mother's sudden admonishment to her. "I've noticed that," he agreed good-naturedly as they reached his car.
Kate was in turmoil inside. Was her mother joining ranks with this culprit? The daughter could not fathom her mom's easy acquiescence. Did she not comprehend the danger here? Kate decided that at the first opportunity she had, she would pull her mother aside and enlighten her.
As Kate was in contemplation, Tim came around to the passenger side to unlock their doors. Kate immediately got into the back of the vehicle. Tim took notice as he helped Kate's mother into the front, closing the door behind her. As he went to close Kate's door, their eyes met, and Tim caught the apathy mixed with confusion there. Deciding right then and there to kill her with kindness, he only smiled. Kate, for her part, turned away abruptly. Tim was not discouraged; grinning to himself, he climbed behind the wheel to take off.
At least he has a nice car, thought Kate as she looked over the automobile, which was a Ford Explorer. She always loved vehicles that were high up like buses or trucks. In the car category, jeeps and utility vehicles were the next best thing.
They drove part of the way in silence until Tim spoke up, "Did you enjoy the movie, ladies?"
Simultaneously they responded: Mrs. Lindstrom with, "Yes, it was very good."
"It was all right," came Kate's flat answer.
She did not look his way but kept her gaze out the side window, though out the corner of her eye she could tell he was looking at her in the rear view mirror, and he was grinning. Is everything funny to the man? Kate tried to ascertain.
The ride was brief, and before Kate and her mother knew it, they arrived at the inn. Having parked a car's length from the entrance, Tim promptly jumped out of the Explorer and walked around to Erin's door. He helped Mrs. Lindstrom down while Kate hopped out on her own. An immediate expression crossed his face, a wry look of disappointment or dismay, which Kate couldn't help noticing. She cringed under the weight of his stare and moved towards her mother. He followed her.
Accepting her fate, she told him, "I just want to walk my mother to the door." Tim eyed her skeptically, and she gave him the once over. "Are you afraid I'm gonna bolt?"
"I'll trust you." His playful manner had returned. He called out to Kate's mom, courteously, "Good night, Mrs. Lindstrom."
"Good night," she replied politely. "Thank you for the ride." She turned to leave.
"It was my pleasure," he was heard to have said as Kate walked her mother up the stairs leading to the front door of the inn. It was not that her mom was an invalid, but Kate needed the chance to speak with her alone, for a moment. They stopped on the landing.
"Ma, I'm surprised at you thinking this is a good thing! You always said, 'Don't be stupid and settle down.'" Kate reminded her mother.
"Well, you're just going for a drink, not to get married," extrapolated Mrs. Lindstrom.
Kate took a deep breath and looked back at Tim, who waited patiently in the street below. She wondered if he could read lips as she asked her mom, "You think I can trust him?"
"If you don't show up in a few hours, I'll call the police. How will that be?" teased Erin Lindstrom.
"Mama!" exclaimed a shocked Kate as she turned back to her mother.
"Well, you're the one who mentioned mass murderers. Now you probably gave him the idea," her mother joked. "Go on, have fun," she urged her daughter. "I'll be fine."
"Are you sure?"
"I'll call your father. I'll tell him you're on a date," Erin giggled, suddenly giddy.
"It's not a date, Ma! It's just a friendly drink." A sigh escaped Kate as she tried to convince her mother and herself as well.
"Well, he's waiting, so get going," she pushed Kate along. "Have a good time!"
"Okay, thanks. Well, Here goes nothing," Kate said as she kissed her mother on the cheek. "I won't be long, okay?"
Kate's mother nodded as she watched her daughter walk slowly down the front steps to meet Tim. Then feeling secure that Kate was in good hands, so to speak, Erin entered the inn for the night.
As Kate stepped up to the passenger's side of Tim's car, she said gruffly, "Okay, let's go." She was in the car in a matter of seconds.
"Yes, ma'am!" exclaimed Tim exuberantly, as he opened his own car door and joined her.
Once in the car and on the road again, he inquired, "Everything okay? You seemed to be having a little conference up there. I was starting to get worried."
"Yes, we were conferring about you," Kate replied tartly and honestly.
Tim silently delighted in her answer. Then he suddenly stopped the car. They had gone two and a half blocks. Kate looked at him expectantly.
He turned off the engine, and pulling the key from the ignition, Tim announced, "We're here!"
Kate peered through the window, taken aback. "We could have walked!" She sounded put out.
"I told ya!" was all he said.
6: Having A Drink
~VI~
KATE stepped from the vehicle, as she had before, without waiting for Tim to come around to her side to open the door for her. She stared at the sign above the pub that he had parked in front of. It read Tap Room. Kate was not overly impressed. She didn't as yet realize that it was part of the Jared Coffin House, one of the finest establishments on the island.
"What is this place?" asked Kate. "It doesn't look like anything," she commented before making a truly fair judgment.
Tim came around the car to stand beside her. "It may not look like much to you, but wait until you see the inside," he boasted as he led the way down the steps since the pub was below street level.
"Well, I'll trust you to know the good places. You are the islander, after all," she remarked, as she followed him somewhat apprehensively.
The moment they stepped through the door, Kate chastised herself for doubting him for it was exactly the kind of pub that she loved best: quaint with simple elegance from another time or century, and dark, its only illumination being from the candles that adorned each of the tables creating an intimate, cozy atmosphere. It immediately brought to her mind an English style pub in San Francisco that she had frequented often called the Iron Horse. It had always been one of her favorite haunts, and now she stood in its East Coast counterpart which was in actuality more simplistic in design, and that suited Kate fine. She changed her original opinion in a matter of seconds as she took in their surroundings.
Tim escorted her to a little table in a corner. The place was quiet as she suspected it would be at this hour of the night, which was fast approaching ten o'clock. She had read that Nantucketers still observed an unwritten curfew of sorts left over from their Quaker heritage though it was no longer mandatory. Nightlife was most definitely not a strong island characteristic. He held out a chair for her and waited until she was seated before calling out their order to the bar.
"What would you like?" Tim asked.
Without hesitation, Kate answered, "An Irish Coffee."
Tim marveled. "Oh, a good Irish drink for good Irish lass, " he spoke in a lilting voice as if he had suddenly developed the brogue.
Kate supposed he turned it on and off at will, though she didn't think it was authentic. She was more surprised that he should recognize her as Irish.
He called out to the bartender, who seemed to know him, "Two Irish Coffees."
"One with decaf," Kate added.
"Make them both with decaf," he finished as he settled into the chair next to Kate and leaned forward with his elbows on the table.
"Humph," she laughed. "My mother says 'decaf is like drinking dish water.' I only drink it because I have to."
Tim smiled. "Well, it is a bit late for the high-test, and besides with whisky and real cream in it, who can tell the difference?"
"My thinking exactly," concurred Kate, amazed that he had the same brand of commonsense as her to make such an observation. Suddenly curious, she asked, "Do you think they'll make it right and use real cream?" This was a real concern of Kate's, as she detested what she considered fake Irish Coffees or ones made improperly with any ingredients other than Jameson's Irish whiskey, sugar, coffee, and real authentic whipping cream. Anything else was just inferior and an impostor.
Tim assured her, "Oh, yes. You're on Nantucket. Remember? Only the best here."
"Well, I figured I'd find a good Irish Coffee in a good Irish pub in Boston, but I guess I picked the wrong one, because the one I had was terrible!" she related.
"Ah, yes, you must have been in the wrong place for if you had ventured into say…well…O'Malley's, now then you surely would have gotten a true Irish Coffee," he stated with a wink.
Kate looked quickly away. "Good, I haven't had a good one since…" she interrupted herself, remembering something. She turned back to him. "How did you know I was Irish?"
He drew a breath before answering. "Most non-Irish I know don't care for Irish Coffees, and besides you look Irish," Tim observed.
"I do?" Kate was both pleased that he had made such an observation and as well with the knowledge that she reassembled the race of her ancestors, a heritage she had always been proud of.
"Certainly, though with your last name one could scarcely tell."
"No, I know, my father is of Swedish descent. The Irish is on my mother's side. Her grandparents, my great-grandparents came from Ireland," she explained. "But you must be a closer generation than that with a name like O'Malley."
"Two generations removed. My grandparents came over from the Old Country. Ah, here we are," announced Tim, and he leaned back as the bartender placed the coffees on their table. Kate noticed that they did indeed have real cream in them. Her eyes lit up, which did not escape Tim O'Malley's watchful gaze. "You approve?" he asked her with a half-grin.
"Yes, I think so. I'll let you know in just a second," she hurriedly returned as she took the glass mug and went to have a sip. He stopped her.
"First a toast." He held up his glass to hers. "To new beginnings and successful journeys," Tim said with a smile.
Kate thought it a strange toast, but it did sound nice, so she nodded and began to clink his glass. Tim stopped her again.
"Anything you'd like to add?" He waited.
She was growing impatient, as she wanted to have her drink before it turned cold. "Amen!" she concluded and they clinked.
"Now try," he indicated.
It didn't take much persuasion on his part as Kate was already testing it, and her first sip was sheer heaven and the one after that. She decided it was one of the best Irish Coffees ever!
Tim took great delight in her obvious pleasure. "I'm glad to see you like it!"
"Yes, thank you. It's perfect! The best I've had in a very, long while." She took another sip, savoring it as she did so. It was the perfect drink for a cool night such as this. She downed more of the hot liquid. She was very pleased indeed.
He joined her now and agreed that it was a superb Irish coffee. Always a favorite drink of his as well, he was grateful for one more thing they shared in common. He resumed their conversation. "So, you started to say before that you hadn't had a good one since…" he prompted.
Kate was confused.
Tim reminded her, "You interrupted yourself before."
Now it came back to Kate. "Oh, yes, I remember." She grinned sheepishly. "Sorry about that; I have a bad habit of doing that," she apologized. Then picking up where she had left off, Kate continued, "Since San Francisco."
"Oh, you've recently traveled there, also," asked Tim intrigued.
"No, I lived there about seven years and moved back home six years ago."
"How interesting!" he commented as he leaned towards her again. "What made you decide to move there in the first place, and why did you choose to leave?"
Kate sat back in her chair as she began to elaborate between sips of her drink. "I just had wanted to live in California my whole life. My mother said that from the time I was five or six I talked about it. She doesn't know where I got the idea from, maybe television or because I heard I had an uncle there, but the thought never left me. Unfortunately for her, I never grew out of it. Anyway, I had also wanted to work in film, but I saw L.A. in four days and hated it immediately! I visited San Francisco for six days and fell in love with it just as quickly. I thought it would be easier to break into films there in a smaller community."
"And did you?" Tim inquired.
"I did, but it wasn't what I thought it would be. I discovered I disliked it intensely," recalled Kate of the sour memory.
"That's when you decided to move back?" his question urged her to continue.
"No, that was much later after more heartache but not before an earthquake, a conversion, bankruptcy, and a doomed romance, and not necessarily in that order."
"That sounds intriguing and very dramatic," Tim decided in a tone void of any mockery. As he listened, he took several gulps of his coffee.
"Yes, and too much to go into now," Kate said hoping to get the subject off of her for once and onto him, as she realized she had practically told him her entire life's story of recent years.
"So you went out there without knowing a soul?"
Kate nodded.
"I am impressed," said Tim in all sincerity. "Why did you come back?"
"Oh, for many reasons – family, change of scenery, I missed the seasons." Kate was beginning to wonder if he was ever going to talk about himself. Was it reluctance or had she just not given him a chance?
"Oh! So you're a native New Englander then?" he asked, happy to learn she had originated on the East Coast and had made it her home once again.
"Yes, born and raised in Connecticut. How about you?" she ventured, seeing her opportunity to steer the conversation to the subject of him.
"Born and raised in Boston," Tim began, "but I visited Nantucket with my family as a child, and like so many people who come here, I didn't want to leave. So when I was old enough and had made my fortune (he paused) in Boston, I returned to the island and settled here permanently."
Now it was Kate's turn to be impressed. "Wow, that's great!" she exclaimed with genuine admiration. She also wondered how she could ever have thought him reticent to talk about himself. He did pretty well.
She had finished her coffee by now, as had he.
"I see you enjoyed it," Tim gestured to her glass.
"Oh, absolutely!" volunteered Kate. "In fact it was so good, I'd love to stick my finger in the glass to scoop up every drop of the cream!"
Kate could have kicked herself the moment the statement came out of her mouth for he was truly laughing now.
"Why don't you?" Tim suggested playfully.
Kate sat astonished thinking him insane. "No! People will stare!"
"So what?! Who cares what they think! Go ahead and do it if you want," he encouraged her. "Look, I'll do it."
Tim demonstrated and as he did, Kate thought him more absurd than her, but she did feel his example gave her free reign to act just as foolishly, so she picked up her glass and followed his lead. Not that she would have needed any help for she had done it a hundred times at home. It always made the experience all the more pleasurable for her.
"Let's have another!" enthused a buoyant Tim.
Kate shook her head. "No, one drink, that was all we agreed on, " she reminded him.
"Oh, but we've only been here twenty minutes, and you drank it so fast!" He pointed to her empty glass before beckoning to the bartender.
She raised her eyebrows as if to say, "I'm not the only one," but instead she simply replied, "I couldn't help myself, it was so good!"
"Well, then you definitely want another," Tim decided for her as he called out their order to the bar for two more of the same.
Kate started to laugh.
"What is it?" asked a curious Tim.
"I was just thinking how your name is the first and last names of two different Spencer Tracy characters from two different films, " she informed him.
"No, you don't say?"
"Uh, huh."
"Which characters from which films?"
She thought a moment. "Father Tim Mullin from the film San Francisco and Steve O'Malley from Keeper of the Flame." She suppressed a grin.
"I wonder if my mother thought of him when she named me," Tim jested. "Do you like Spencer Tracy?"
"Oh, I love him! He's one of my favorite actors!" she answered enthusiastically.
"I could be him if you like," he offered half-serious.
Kate responded with an emphatic No! "Please don't. Just be yourself. There's enough pretension in the world," she lectured gently.
Understanding her meaning, Tim remarked, "Well, you may have picked the wrong place to visit."
"I know it," she said in a low voice, careful no islanders might overhear. "It's the one negative feature I can find of Nantucket, I'd say."
Tim praised her insight. "You're very observant," he said taking the glass the bartender had just placed in front of him.
Kate noticed that as of yet, no one had asked for any payment.
They clinked glasses again and began to drink. Kate was feeling quite relaxed presently, whereas before she had felt nervous and anxious when she had first entered the pub with him. Of course, she knew well that alcohol always had that effect on her, which she did consider a positive one, but it was something more, as well, something in him, the ease with which he spoke, moved, and made her feel comfortable. She credited the drink. She relished the taste of this second one more than the first. Delicious, she thought as she licked her lips.
Tim seemed to know her thoughts as he asked, "As good as the first?"
She caught herself. "Yes, it's excellent. I wish I could get one like this back home!" Kate exclaimed.
"Well, you'll have to come here more often then," he urged.
"Maybe so, if I could afford it."
"Speaking of that…"
And Kate felt certain he was about to ask her for her share for the cost of the drinks. Other men had expected her share. She reached for her purse, but he stumped her again.
"…What do you do for a living?"
Kate let her purse drop. "I'm a receptionist, at a bank," she stated flatly.
He took notice. "You don't sound thrilled."
"I'm not," came her direct response. "I've been one six years at this place and years at other places. In fact, for over ten years, I've been one at one place or another." Forlornly, she looked far off. "I thought for a time that I could do it the rest of my life, be just a receptionist, but now I'm not so sure." She looked back at him and smiled wanly.
"What would you like to do?"
"I have no idea, that's what's so frustrating." Kate tried to explain. "You see, all my life I thought I wanted to work in film and so while I was still in school and my classmates were still trying to figure out what they wanted to do, I was very certain of my goal. Nothing else even crossed my mind, but at twenty-six, when I discovered for the first time that film wasn't for me, I was at a loss to know what to do, and so I floundered, whereas, my peers were all settled and established in careers by then." Kate was aware of how intensely Tim was listening. She had his total attention.
"Actually," she confided wistfully, "when I look back on my past experience, my favorite job was running a little gift shop, kind of like yours except this one was in a cathedral church." She smiled brightly as she looked up at him. "Even though it wasn't mine, I felt like it was, I took pride in it like I was the owner, and that was for a mere six dollars an hour in one of the most expensive cities in the world. I ended up personally filing bankruptcy!" She laughed.
He cut in, "But did you care?"
"No," Kate answered honestly. "Sometimes, I think I'd take a job like that again in a heartbeat, in the right circumstance."
Tim, who had been focused so intently, spoke assuredly, and his voice was like balm. He had one suggestion. "Well, you could always work for me."
Kate was shaken out of her reverie. She let out a sharp laugh. "Yeah, right!" she said cynically, taking another quick gulp of coffee. She quickly changed the subject. "Well, you've certainly found out a lot about me. What else you want to know?" she asked impertinently.
Tim didn't flinch. He simply leaned back in his chair, reached for his drink, and thought before he spoke again. "Just one thing for now."
"Oh?" Kate took another gulp.
"Yes, is there a Mr. Lindstrom?" he asked bluntly watching her from over the rim of his glass.
Kate nearly choked on her drink. She also began to feel nervous again at this his latest probe. Any questions about marriage or her marital status were always bound to leave her on edge. She coughed, cleared her throat as Tim waited and watched. "You mean other than my father, brothers or uncles?! NO!" she resounded adamantly, "there is not nor will there probably ever be!"
"Why?" Tim inquired, shocked.
"Because I'm not the marrying type!" Kate blurted out. Beginning to feel very unhappy with the line of questioning, she took her third swig in just so many minutes.
"Who says?" Tim persisted.
"I do! I'm not sure I even believe in marriage entirely."
"You…a good Catholic girl doesn't believe in marriage?" He teased.
She turned on him with eyes blazing, perturbed that he seemed to know everything about her. Was he some kind of sorcerer or mind reader? "How did you know I was Catholic?"
"Just a good guess. Ninety percent of the time being Irish goes hand 'n hand with being Catholic, but getting back to marriage, I don't understand why you think it's not suited to you," Tim tried to fathom.
"Because some people have what it takes and some don't!" Kate pronounced with agitation evident in her voice. "Besides, I'm nearly thirty-seven years old. Do you honestly think it's in the cards for me to get married at this point?" she challenged.
Each was becoming more heated and vocal in the discussion.
"I think age has nothing to do with it!" Tim proclaimed in earnest.
"Well, then, are you married?" asked Kate directly.
Throwing his arms out, Tim feigned indignation. "My dear woman, if I was, do you think I'd be sitting here, talking with you?" He brought his hands to his chest, pointing to himself. "What type of man do you take me for?"
"You never know nowadays," came Kate's cool answer.
"Well, I am not that type, madam!" he pretended to be hurt, yet recovering quickly, he added, "No, I am not married, but how old do you suppose I am?"
Being kind, Kate guessed on the low side. "I'd say forty."
"Well, thank you for the compliment, it must be my boyish good looks, but I'm forty-four," he stated comically and then continued in all seriousness, "but unlike you, I believe my age has nothing to do with my marital status. I just haven't been fortunate enough to find my soul mate yet, that's all," he concluded serenely.
"What if you never find her? What if you search your whole life and never find her?" Kate demanded to know, and yet, not waiting for his answer, she predicted, "It's a one in a million shot even if there is someone for everyone out there, and then what happens when you do find her? Another long shot in making it work, I'd venture to say."
Tim shook his head at her dogmatic but dismal view. "Tsk, tsk. Such a pessimistic attitude for a Christian," he chided her. "It must be the Irish in you that makes you talk so tragically," he looked mockingly woeful. Then suddenly his tone changed. "Look, no matter what the odds, in my opinion, it's worth it, because it has to be the greatest thing two people can do together in this world, to fall in love, raise a family, grow old together!" He had been passionately espousing his view, his voice growing more fervent and powerful with each word. Now he grew quieter and more subdued. "I can think of nothing better."
"Humph," uttered Kate unconvinced, I can think of almost anything better!"
"So negative and after so much Irish coffee, too," he chastised.
"I'm just being a realist, that's all," stated Kate defensively. "I use to believe in marriage and fairy tales and that stuff they fed us as kids and in the movies. Don't you think I grew up dreaming I'd marry one day? But then I grew up and reality set in, and marriage is not the fairy tale that they sold us!"
Kate had leaned towards him, gesturing wildly with her hands and her facial expressions as she spoke. She knew she was expressive; she couldn't help herself when emotion took over. Tim met her half way across the table, and at this range, Kate became suddenly aware that his eyes were decidedly gray, like the color of the sea on a stormy day, and yet, they were full of serenity, which astounded her. Nevertheless, the debate raged on.
"Have you ever been married?" Tim asked her pointedly.
"No." Kate looked away.
"Then how are you so sure you know what it is?" he interrogated her.
Kate gritted her teeth as she countered head-on, "I've come as close to it as I dare, and it's not a pretty picture."
Undaunted, Tim went on. "Well, I'd say you've seen only the bad and none of the good." Then he thought as if formulating a plan. When next he spoke, he lightened up a bit. "Tell you what, I'm gonna make you a promise. Someday, I'll show you a good marriage, and then you'll change your mind, " he predicted confidently.
"I don't know about that. I'm a pretty tough customer. I don't change easily." Kate tried to sound as confident, feeling their dialogue winding down at last.
"Someday," he repeated with a half-smile, downing the last of his drink.
"Are you always so cocky?" she quipped, amazed again with his self-assured manner.
"No, just when I'm sure of things," Tim shot back, pulling his wallet out.
If Kate hadn't have been so vexed, she might have been able to appreciate his play on words. As it were, she was only able to stare at him, stupefied, though with enough wherewithal to state petulantly, "Well, so am I about this!" slamming her hand on the table for added emphasis.
Paying her no mind, Tim announced as he stood, "It's almost eleven. We better get going." In a most serious tone, reminiscent of an adult speaking to a child, he reminded her, "You don't want to worry your mother. You told her you'd be gone only a short while."
His look told her he was not kidding, and Kate heeded his words. "Oh, right," she murmured, feeling a little cloudy and unsettled, as much from how their conversation had ended as from the alcohol as she swallowed the last of her drink. She felt exhausted as she stood herself.
"We'll walk," he said as he settled the tab with the bartender. "We can use the air, don't you think?" Tim studied Kate carefully as he waited for her to meet him at the door. She nodded meekly and uncertainly. He noticed that she appeared as one shell-shocked.
Out in the cool night air, they walked a ways with a deep silence between them, each in private thought. Then Tim, ever cheerful, interrupted Kate's and intruded on her mind, which was still reeling.
"So you don't believe in marriage. Do you at least believe in friendship?" he asked with a glimmer of hope.
She turned swiftly towards him and looking him right in the eye responded without hesitation, "Of course!" Tim nodded his head as if grateful, but then Kate added quickly lest he become too content with the idea, "But friendship takes time, and it takes patience."
Quick as a flash, he let her know, "Well, I have plenty of time."
And just as quick, she retorted, "Well, I have little or no patience."
Tim said nothing at first as though he was contemplating a great truth. They reached the Periwinkle Inn. He walked her up the stairs slowly, and then turning with a gleam in his eye, he said, "That's okay, because I have enough for both of us." He shook her hand.
Kate stood dumbfounded as she watched him start down the stairs.
Tim turned half way to say, "Thanks for going out with me."
"You're welcome," came her automatic response. "Thanks for the drinks."
"You're welcome." He smiled and headed back down the stairs. "Good night."
"Good night," Kate replied, thinking it a funny way to say good-bye when they would probably never see each other again. She turned to go in when suddenly she heard Tim call to her from the street.
"See you in church!"
"What?" she asked blankly, turning around abruptly, but Tim was out of range, heading down the street alone from where they had just come.
"What the devil does he mean by that?" Kate mumbled under her breath. Did he plan on following her to the church the next morning, as well? He knew she was a Catholic, but he had never confirmed if he was one of the ninety percent of which he had spoken.
Kate watched his retreating figure grow small and smaller. "Strange man," she said aloud. "But he sure is a good-natured fellow," Kate had to admit as she headed up to her room.
Her mother was waiting up for her, and Kate related briefly what had occurred. Then as she readied herself for bed, she reflected on the day and all the strange and unexpected surprises. From her suitcase, Kate removed an item, which she rarely took away from home, but that she had brought to record her impressions and thoughts of this journey. She wrote in her journal that night…
Dear Lord, (as she always addressed her journal entries as a form of prayer, and despite God knowing all, as a means of sharing her day with her Maker) Nantucket is certainly turning into quite an adventure!
…And Kate suspected that it was just the beginning.
7: Sunday Morning~VII~
MRS. LINDSTROM awoke first to find the morning shrouded in fog. Kate followed shortly after her though she would have preferred to sleep longer being that she was always at church by six thirty every Sunday morning, but she was grateful for the few extra hours she had just received. She also didn't mind the weather for she was thankful that they had been blessed with two days at least of good weather.
Kate's mom had a different opinion, however, and she did not hesitate to mouth her usual response, "This would all be beautiful on a beautiful day." Kate had to laugh; it always sounded comical to hear her mother repeat this phrase, and she said it often as a result of the inclement weather conditions they were so often plagued with on their various trips. Even the fog though could not dampen Kate's spirits this Sunday morning for she was on Nantucket, and that was all that mattered.
Kate had slept well the night before except for one disturbing dream that entailed her being located in some kind of court of law in which she had to defend her opinions on marriage. She was on the witness stand before a judge and a jury, as well as a room full of various on-lookers and critics, and the prosecuting attorney was none other than Mr. Tim O'Malley. Though he questioned her relentlessly, he was, nevertheless, he's affable self, smiling and friendly. Kate being the one on trial was not, however, as she became increasingly flustered and confused in her answers. She seemed to have no one defending her. It was up to her alone, apparently, to fight for her acquittal for the crime she was accused of, namely, being opposed to the institution of marriage. In her own defense, Kate was failing miserably. The whole dream might have been a nightmare were it not for the warmth and humor of Prosecutor O'Malley, felt by Kate even through her subconscious, causing her to awake exhilarated. She believed the whole sequence to be an aftereffect from their time together and the heated debate of the previous night.
She wondered if he weren't something of an egomaniac to even infuse her dreams with his cocky self-assurance, but Kate considered that perhaps she was not being fair. After all, she had to admit that he had listened to her views and without ridiculing her or putting her down or trying to silence her, and she was grateful for that. Besides, she realized, Tim had been pleasant and kind even when he disagreed with her. He had always maintained his good disposition throughout the entire conversation, and that was a relief and highly unusual to Kate for people seldom remained pleasant when coming up against her stubborn, inordinate and formidable opinions.
Still, Kate hoped that she would not run into him again, and she really didn't expect to despite his final remark about seeing her in church. She seldom knew single men that attended church faithfully of their own accord without being coaxed or prodded by a mate. Even some married men she knew rarely went, believing it their wives' duty to attend for the whole family. On the other hand, Kate knew a select few who regularly attended while their wives rarely went themselves. Kate, however, really didn't expect to see Tim this morning, and so she went about getting ready for the day, supposing nothing unusual was to happen this particular Sunday.
They headed off to church with Kate and her mother walking side by side. Kate walked quickly. She couldn't wait to get there to experience Mass at the one Catholic church on Nantucket. In relatively short time, they came across it on Federal Street. They had happened upon it the day before, but now Kate really had a chance to study it up close.
It was a beautiful, little church though not so little as she had expected. It was made of the same gray shingles as the rest of the old places in Nantucket Town, in spite of the fact, that this church was not that old having replaced, in recent years, the former church. Hence, its shingles were still of a newer shade, not yet weathered by the fierce elements of the island's winds and sea air. Kate was monumentally pleased with the church, which was right in the heart of the town, one block over from Main Street.
The service was set to begin at nine thirty, and they were slightly early, but Kate didn't mind for it gave her a chance to reflect before the Mass and to take in her environment in keeping with the mental exercise she had been following since the moment of their arrival on the island, the sole purpose of which was ascertaining if she would be happy making Nantucket her permanent home. So while she viewed everything with the eye of a typical tourist on vacation, she also was envisioning herself as a potential future resident. This was never more vitally important than in this Catholic community. Hence, she studied it, as well, with an eye toward the future.
As lovely as it was on the outside, Saint Mary's, Our Lady of the Isle was every bit as pretty and quaint a church on the inside as well, except that it was all white in color and quite simplistic in design. It reminded her of Saint James Church in Rockland, Maine, and also, their own Saint John's Mission Church back home, the oldest mission church in Connecticut. Above the altar of Nantucket's only Catholic church was a stained glass portrait of Mary, the church's namesake and patron saint, depicting her as the Lady of the Isle standing on an outline of Nantucket. The image was striking, most unusual, and very clever, decided Kate. The other stain glass windows were pastel in color, suiting the white interior quite favorably.
Kate was grateful that there were no pillars inside the church. She had always found them to be a nuisance, hindering her perspective of the altar, as well as separating the congregation in sections, and disturbing the view, which was of primary importance to her. Kate found it extremely difficult to be absorbed in the Mass when she could only hear and not see it unfolding before her eyes though that was exactly how it had been for the generations of Catholics before her, her own mother included in that category. In Kate's mind, as far as the Mass was concerned, sight was her first best conduit to experiencing and taking part in it fully. When she could not see, and thereby had no focal point, she tended to drift and lose her connection to the experience as a whole, feeling no longer a part of it.
They sat near the back, which she generally did as an outsider at most of the churches she visited while on vacation. She held the belief that the front pews were reserved for the diehards and the true patrons of the particular church in which she found herself. Therefore, she didn't mind the back on these occasions. Yet, if she had been in her own church, she would have been where she always sat, up front, in the first pew which was usually available as Catholics tended to shy away from that particular vantage point, but Kate loved it. However, knowing her mother's preference for the back of the church, out of deference to her, and just grateful for her mom accompanying her, Kate gladly agreed to her mother's wishes.
After the procession and before the opening prayer, the presiding priest, the pastor, Kate presumed, did something that she would not appreciate under normal circumstances, and especially cringed at under the circumstances of being a visitor and a stranger, for he asked each member of the congregation to greet the person in front of them, around them, or behind them. Kate and her mother took part in the custom though they hated doing so, and Kate even more so in the next instant as she was shocked to turn and meet face to face in the pew directly behind them, with his hand already outstretched in the inviting age old gesture, Tim O'Malley.
He smiled his most cordial smile as he held out his hand. Kate shook his hand quickly if not somewhat brusquely and did not return his smile but gave him instead the courtesy of nod though it was as quick as it was barely visible.
Tim gently nodded back, and Kate turned from him as he shook hands with Mrs. Lindstrom who was delighted to see him again.
For the next hour of the service, Kate tried with tremendous effort to focus on the Mass, but she found it near impossible as she was silently seething at his audacity to follow her to church, though Kate did have the good sense and charity to consider that he might have been a regular, following his usual Sunday routine. Still, she did not forgive him his choice of seat for she felt it a little too convenient. She wondered if he was deliberately trying to nettle her or if he was merely some kind of eccentric nut!
Following the final blessing (though she longed to stay and enjoy the quaint St. Mary's for a bit longer), Kate gathered her belongings and hastened her mother out of the church and past O'Malley's gaze. They were away immediately due to the cool way Kate had stepped through a side door while the majority of the congregation lined up patiently waiting to greet the pastor who was standing in front of the center doorway. A bottleneck had occurred as a result of the congestion at this exit, and Kate breathed deeply with satisfaction that they were safe outside and that Tim O'Malley was stuck somewhere inside still.
With each step putting more distance between them and the church, Kate's mother finally asked, "What's the rush?" It seemed to Mrs. Lindstrom that the whole weekend had been like this. Though, generally, she was use to it as her vacations seldom were leisurely, such was her life.
"Because, Ma, you know why!" Kate reminded her impatiently, over her shoulder.
Just then a voice called out from behind them, "Hello, hello!" The voice grew closer as did the footsteps.
Kate sighed in exasperation. "I don't believe this! Most people come here to get away and not be bothered; we come here and we're stalked!" She halted her step as Tim, a little out of breath, caught up to her and her mother.
Wow! You walk fast," he managed to say between gulps of air.
Kate decided drastic measures were called for to deal with the maniac; she tried extreme politeness. "What can I do for you, Mr. O'Malley?" she asked as she turned partially to face him.
"Tim, remember? It's Tim." He added, "Okay, Kate?" staring her down.
She turned to continue walking, her mother following alongside.
"Nice to see you again, Mrs. Lindstrom," Tim spoke to Erin, who was on Kate's right while Tim occupied her left. They spoke past Kate.
"Oh, thank you. You also."
"So what are you ladies up to today?" he queried them, not really expecting an answer from Kate who remained sullen.
Kate's mother started to speak, but Kate threw her a glance, which cautioned against it. Erin gave her a quizzical look in return and spoke anyway much to Kate's consternation.
"We were planning on going to breakfast and then after maybe taking one of the tours around the island," she explained non-hesitantly and with great courtesy and pleasantness.
Tim's face was all a glow as he formulated a plan. "Oh, those tours only give you a small view. I know a tour that is superb, and you'd see much more of the island," he elaborated excitedly.
"Oh, really? That sounds wonderful!" exclaimed Mrs. Lindstrom, quite taken in.
Kate was not so easily impressed or fooled. "Which tour is that?" she demanded though she already had a pretty good idea, coming to a standstill in the road again.
"Mine, Tim O'Malley's - World Class Tours, at your service," he stated with grandiosity as he bowed slightly, having halted his step exactly as Kate had just seconds before.
Rolling her eyes, Kate let out a very audible, agitated sigh.
Tim forged ahead, lest he lose his audience, and fully intending to make this sale. "I know a great place for breakfast, as well. It's right around the corner, the Fog Island Café," the pseudo tour guide announced with much enthusiasm.
Kate remained silent in disbelief while her mother chimed, "Oh, we already know the place. We ate their yesterday morning. We really liked it, didn't we, Kate?" she turned to her daughter for confirmation.
Her daughter said nothing as she sensed everything working against her. Kate did not appreciate the cool way this stranger usurped and intruded upon their plans without so much as batting an eye, totally winning her mother over in the process and leaving Kate to stew. She had never liked cocky men, and in her mind, this man was obnoxiously cocky to weasel his way into their day like this. Moreover, she still was unsure of him and his motives. After all, he was nearly a perfect stranger to them, though he had been more than kind, but it was his self-assurance that stood out, and that's what scared her!
Then again, after a moment of re-consideration, Kate had to admit that the prospect of being chauffeured around appealed to her as well. Likewise, she did not fail to grasp that they would see abundantly so much more with an islander as their guide. She was carefully pondering all the pluses, when she heard her mother repeat the question, snapping Kate out of her contemplation. Relenting, she agreed with her mom while at the same time proposing the new plans for the day. "Yes, Ma. We liked it very much." She turned back to him just then.
"Okay, you can be our guide for the day, but we will pay you just as we would a regular tour. So, what's your price?" Kate asked quite seriously.
Tim's sudden laugher startled Kate causing her to jump. As well, the familiar use of her nickname again plagued her even more for he seem to be growing accustomed to using it and that seemed to be every chance he got.
"Oh, Kate, I wouldn't even know what to charge you." Then with a definite twinkle in his eye, Tim teased, "Besides, I have a feeling that you think you've already paid dearly on this one." His eyes were full of laughter as he smiled.
Kate looked at him questioningly, shocked that he seemed to know her mind and read her thoughts as easily as if they were written across the sky, though she had frequently been told by others that her expressions and thoughts were as readable as a book, and that she wore her feelings on her sleeve. Still, there was something extremely disturbing in how this person declared outright those thoughts aloud. He had a merry look in his eyes as he turned from her to lead the way to the restaurant, which was only a block away.
As the three of them walked, Kate, with her eyes to the ground, began to fear that this man would be the death of her or else, just as frightening a thought, a life long friend! However, she forced the notion from her mind as they reached the restaurant.
Tim opened the door for Mrs. Lindstrom, who entered. Then he stood in the entryway holding the door for Kate. She looked up to see him waiting for her, and as she passed through the doorway, she paused in his path momentarily and their eyes once again met. At that second, a fleeting glimpse of a possible future flashed into her mind and then receded quickly away.
Kate continued past Tim, who then turned and followed her into the café.
8: Afternoon Drive With The Tour Guide~VIII~
FOLLOWING their breakfast together, which Kate had to acknowledge was not entirely unpleasant, they headed out for their excursion with their personal tour guide, Mr. Timothy O'Malley. The fog had lifted, and the sun had miraculously appeared sometime during the meal, so again, Kate and her mother had another beautiful day in which to explore the island.
As they were leaving the cafe, Tim opened the passenger door for Kate in the front, but she, however, bypassing him, hopped into the passenger side in the back, leaving Tim holding the door for Mrs. Lindstrom. This, he realized, was becoming a familiar pattern but one he hoped to change soon. He smiled serenely to Erin as she climbed in as she had little to say in the matter for when Kate's mind was set, there was no arguing with her.
Tim, closing the door, made his way around the back of the car but not without first peering at Kate through her window. She gave him the satisfaction of a glance but then turned away abruptly to stare ahead out the front window. Tim realized he had just been the recipient of the cold shoulder again. He shook his head as he walked round to his side. As he backed the car up to pull out of the parking space, Tim smiled at Kate from over his shoulder. With her arms crossed, she turned away. It was a typical gesture that he would see throughout the day.
True to his word, Tim drove them from one end of the island to the other. In the afternoon, they covered all three of the island's lighthouses, though they did have to walk a distance to the Great Point Light; they drove through 'Sconset, quiet now and void of the summer tourists until May, and Kate was able to see some truly awe inspiring waves; they traveled to nearly all of the other beaches though there were only roads leading down and back to many of them, but Kate noticed that Tim did not seem to mind the extra driving as he talked rapidly and animatedly about the locales and the island's history, and Kate had to admit that he was extremely knowledgeable about his adoptive habitat and a fairly pleasant guide. She also was well aware that they were probably getting the best tour on the island, especially considering it was free.
The only drawback that Kate could find and had tried to ignore was how he actually watched her from time to time as if he was studying everything about her. Kate began to regret sitting in the back as it only seem to draw his attention even more as he used his rearview mirror to cast his glances, which annoyed her infinitely more! "What is he looking for?" Kate muttered to herself in exasperation under her breath.
Several times Tim would stop the car, and they all three would get out for a better look and as an opportunity for Erin to take photos, as that was one of her favorite hobbies, especially on trips. At each stop, Kate showed little excitement or else she didn't let on if she was excited. Tim suspected that had everything to do with him, as it were. She would simply stand there, studying the scene. Then upon departing for their next intended location, she would pass by Tim without so much as a glance nor would she speak to him. Sometimes, she would grant him a scant nod, and she would always return to the back of the Explorer or get out at the next stop before he could assist her. Tim had come to expect it.
As the day grew on and it was close to dinnertime, Tim asked, "Ladies, is there anything I haven't shown you that you'd like to see?"
Yes, indeed, Kate thought to herself, he is the perfect guide, especially to ask for requests. How many tour guides, after all, would do that? Kate's mother seemed content and shook her head, but Kate spoke up almost immediately, "Yes, the airport." She could not have taken her host by greater surprise than if she had asked to go to the moon.
Tim glanced in the mirror perplexed.
Kate answered his questioning look. "I promised myself not to leave this island until I had seen the airport!" she exclaimed.
"Humph," he responded still slightly befuddled but changing his direction for the airport anyway. The woman threw him with her wish but he would honor it. She was a mystery, like all women, he thought to himself, but this one was a particular curious mystery he was inclined to want to unravel. He looked in the rearview mirror again. "An unusual request. Are you planning on taking a flight somewhere tonight?"
Kate was looking out the side window, but she glanced his direction as she answered, "Yes, a flight of fancy." She held his gaze in the mirror.
Tim noticed a slight grin stealing across her lips. That along with her remarkable answer only made him smile outright as he declared, "Very well, to the airport then!"
"That's where we'll have dinner," Kate announced. "I've heard it's the least expensive place on the island."
"True indeed," agreed Tim. "And no one can beat the atmosphere," he teased.
Kate caught his playful, sunny expression in the mirror as he glanced back at her again. This time she did not mind his watchful eye as his jesting made her own countenance soften and with a lighthearted laugh, she smiled back.
9: Flights Of Fancy~IX~
AS soon as they had arrived and had parked, Kate was like a little kid let loose on a playground. Having loved flight her whole life and airports in general, small airports in particular, Kate became happy as a lark at the Nantucket Memorial Airport.
Once in Hutch's Restaurant at the far end of the airport, having ordered and received their food, Kate kept her face to the window much of the time, though alternating between reading the classifieds in the Nantucket newspaper she had picked up and studying with awe the many twin engine planes that would take off every five minutes or so. This left Tim and Mrs. Lindstrom to watch her, and Kate sensed this but for once didn't care. She was much too full of glee, her boundless enthusiasm not to be contained, which Tim had no intention of doing.
He sat back content to enjoy her enjoyment as she had fairly transcended into another world or so it seemed. He did not mind, however, as it occurred to him that this was her true world, and Tim felt an unmistakable twinge of pleasure at being an observer to this her natural state of being. He was also relieved to be witnessing that, at last, the veil, which had hid her real nature and for which she had held up all weekend for whatever reason, had finally fallen away. Tim couldn't have been more delighted.
Erin Lindstrom, on the other hand, was quite appalled at her daughter's behavior and lack of manners as Kate now seemed intent on ignoring them both while continuing to act like an ignoramus. Several times Erin tried to chastise her Kate; she tried in vain to get her daughter to turn around and act properly, to behave, but Tim would gently silence Mom with a soft, "No, it's all right," without ever taking an eye off Kate as he was enjoying the show too much.
Kate, for her part, did manage to pry her eyes from the window long enough to eat a few mouthfuls and to drink some of her champagne. In her mind, this was a particularly whimsical aspect of the trip to Hutch's that she was having a steak sandwich with a miniature bottle of Freixt Negro champagne. She had to laugh at the disparity in setting, cuisine, and prices, which were cheap for Nantucket! Tim found her choices amusing, as well, and he encouraged her by joining in her laughter at the sharp contrasts, though he, himself, settled for a plain old bottle of beer. Mrs. Lindstrom shook her head at both of them and at their foolishness.
Finally, Kate had to be pried away from the airport. She meekly went along when she was promised her other request - to be taken to Madaket to see the sunset, and the skies showed their promise that it was to be a gorgeous sunset, too, though they were compelled to hurry in order to race the descending orb.
This time Kate surprised Tim and her mother by climbing into the passenger's front seat next to Tim. The airport had put her in an undeniably good mood, and Tim thought wisely it best to take advantage of that, as did Kate's mom as she willingly took the back passenger's seat behind Kate. In fact, Kate even surprised herself as it occurred to her that she had automatically headed for the front seat without even thinking or so she realized only after they were all settled into their respective places.
Oh, well, she thought, a little while won't hurt. She believed that nothing could bring her off the cloud she was on or spoil her good mood, and so she had become agreeable to pretty much everything.
All that Kate had read stated in no uncertain terms that the Madaket sunsets were the best on the island bar none since Madaket was the furthest point west on Nantucket that one could venture. She couldn't wait to get to their latest destination, but she was enjoying the ride and the scenery along the way.
Tim took the opportunity for some casual conversation between them and to learn a thing or two. "So, you like to fly, I guess, huh?" he surmised, referring to their most recent excursion.
"Oh, I love it!" Kate enthused. "I get tired of long flights but just being in the air is tremendous!" acclaimed Kate with extra-added emphasis on the last word.
"Even on those small planes?" Tim asked curiously, alternating between eyeing her and the road.
"Oh, yeah!" she responded. "Small planes especially!"
Tim feeling his luck holding out, continued, "Well, they have charter flights that you can take around the island and to Martha's Vineyard."
"Humph," Kate murmured thoughtfully. "I figured as much, but I doubt we could afford it, at least not on this trip." Tim nodded his acknowledgment. She smiled and added, "This is the economical vacation."
"I see," he responded, more to her smile than to her words.
The ride to Madaket was special because it was where she most wanted to go though she was slightly disappointed to find much of it plain. She kept looking for the famous moors that she had read about.
Tim noticed her surveying the land. "Can I help explain anything?" he offered congenially. "Anything you'd like to know?"
"Yeah," Kate returned in her abrupt way. "Where are the moors they talk about in all the books?"
"Well," Tim indicated the area around them, "these are some of them surrounding us, and there will be more evident ahead, but the majority are at Altar Rock."
Kate was familiar with the name from several of the books she had read on Nantucket. "Oh, yes," she murmured. "We haven't been there, have we, and that's supposed to be the highest point on the island?"
"True," Tim conceded, "though that's not saying a lot since the highest point on Nantucket is still pretty low compared to other places. In fact, it's only slightly higher than the landfill, but we could still go there if you like." He cast an eye in her direction awaiting her instruction. He was here to please.
"I think that we'll have to save that for another time - the next time," Kate remarked sensibly as she glanced back at him. "Right now, I think we have to beat that sun to Madaket."
"Right!" replied Tim, determination in his voice to meet the task at hand, and with both his hands firmly planted on the steering wheel and his eyes to the road ahead, he forged onward.
Kate realized that her mother had been very quiet in the back seat. "How are you doing back there, Ma?"
"Oh, just fine," answered Mom who was content to watch the scenery go by while allowing Kate to do all the talking, which was fine with Erin as she was a quiet, shy person by nature and usually said little.
Kate after a moment observed aloud, "If I were to live on the island, I think I'd want it to be in this area, away from the town and the crowds." Contemplating further, her thoughts in constant motion, she added, "Yes, I'd like to live where the sunsets are."
Tim looked at her quickly and inquired, "Oh, are you thinking of moving here someday?"
"Maybe," came Kate's quick answer, "someday." Turning to him, they exchanged smiles on that note. Then a new thought occurred to Kate, one she hadn't considered before. "By the way, where do you live? You never mentioned." Before he could reply, she speculated with a coy grin, "Do you live in 'Sconset, in a little, rose-covered cottage?" Kate thought she was being cute. Tim just let out a little laugh, and then stunned her with his answer.
"No, I live where the sunsets are," he only paused long enough for effect, "in Madaket." He looked at her in time to register her surprise and shock as well as another quick smile with an expression that seemed almost to say, "Well, how about that? What do you know."
They had just then reached their destination, and as they were approaching the end of the road, Kate caught sight of a restaurant, she could only guess, upon stilts with a store underneath. Motioning to it, she asked, "Is that the one restaurant in Madaket they talk about?"
Tim looking to where she had pointed affirmed, "Yes, the one and only. It's called the Westender – not a bad, little place and great for viewing sunsets. Plus they got a cute, little store underneath." Seeing her apparent interest in the place, he began to suggest, "Perhaps we could go there after…"
Before the words were even out of his mouth completely, Kate injected excitedly, "Look, Ma, look at that!"
Erin looked to where her daughter was gesturing. "Mmm, that looks like a nice place," she had to agree.
"Yeah, and are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Kate replied finishing her mom's thought.
"I don't know, what are you thinking?" asked her mother teasingly.
"I'm thinking we could go there after checking out the beach. We could go there for dessert," Kate recommended.
"That sounds nice," Mrs. Lindstrom acquiesced, and Tim was in total agreement with them both.
"All right, next stop, Madaket Beach," he announced in his best tour guide impersonation, "followed by the Madaket Mystery!"
He had stopped the car, and placing his hand upon the top of her seat, he turned to Kate who was just about to jump out when she turned to him and with wonderment asked, "What's that?"
Tim chuckled. "That's what they call something special at the Westender."
"Really?" Kate asked surprised.
"Sure, just look in any guide book," he answered nonchalantly, not giving her any clues.
"But why?" she persisted.
"You'll see soon enough," was all he would say as he got out of his side and walked around to help Kate and Erin out. As usual, Kate had already helped herself out. Tim shook his head with bewildered amusement.
Kate left him and her mother and was making her was down the sloping sandy path to the Madaket Beach. Mrs. Lindstrom and Tim were not far behind, however, as they followed her.
The moment Kate touched the most western point of the whole island, she knew that the tourist books had not lied or exaggerated the truth. The surf was spectacular here in Madaket, she could now see for herself, more so because of the intense wind encountered this day. Nonetheless, she knew it must always be so regardless of the weather. This was the ocean as it should be, not blocked by a sound as Connecticut beaches were by Long Island's sound.
Kate basked in the supremeness of the moment, standing on this shore, staring at this sunset as it settled towards the horizon. Shortly, Kate's mom and Tim came upon her standing there. They, too, were to enjoy the scene as well. Mrs. Lindstrom immediately began to take pictures.
Tim moved alongside Kate and alternated between the view of the ocean before them and the study of her in such a blissful pose. He noticed that her hair, which had been down every other occasion when he had seen her over the weekend, but which she had worn this day up-swept, now had strands falling loosely about her face from the force of the wind upon them.
More important than her physical appearance, he pondered, was her internal posture for it was beaming through the physical, as joy was entirely evident upon her features, which also held a certain peace about them. Tim thought he had never seen such an expressionistic face, almost as if a window to her soul was being opened for him and the thoughts of her mind laid bare for him now that the mask had been completely lifted.
She turned to him just then as if having become aware in that moment of his presence. Kate beamed the warmest smile Tim had yet seen from her, and one that spoke of gratitude and camaraderie. Yes, he felt like he was finally a witness to her real character and her true spirit, that the veneer had been broken and her guard totally let down. He sensed that she was allowing herself to be friends now, at last.
Tim took her latent graciousness as a sign that he truly was becoming her comrade and being granted permission to enter into the world that was uniquely her own. As a result, Tim could not help feeling exalted over Kate's wondrous transformation, as well as, immensely gratified at this miraculous turn of events.
10: Goodbye For Now~X~
TIM ordered from the waitress a special concoction that he slid in front of Kate.
"What's this?" Kate queried him.
He grinned before answering. "It's the Madaket Mystery."
"It's a drink?" asked Kate stymied.
"You got it!"
Kate inspected the beverage before her. "What's in it?"
"It's a mystery! That's why they call it the Madaket Mystery."
Not wanting to insult him, she hesitantly took a sip and was surprised to like it; they shared the rest of it. Tim, meanwhile, was jotting something on a card he had taken from his jacket pocket, Kate noticed distractedly.
After Tim, Erin, and Kate had left the beach, the latter under great coaxing, the three had ended up at the Westender Restaurant and finished watching the sunset from there. They were most fortunate to get a table by the window to top off the glorious day, for that is exactly what it had been as Kate undoubtedly knew. Once she realized this, she did feel the gratitude in her heart towards this unassuming stranger's kindness to herself and to her mom. Though, by this stage of the game, Kate also acknowledged that Tim was no longer a stranger to them, having spent the better part of a day together.
In the hours they had spent, Kate had come to feel at ease with Tim and now more readily able to allow friendship to blossom. It was a mystery to her how it had happened as the day had unfolded, but she accepted it as one accepts a lovely, precious gift.
Even the sunset had cooperated beautifully for the clouds had mixed with the sun causing it to temporarily disappear, but by the time they had reached the Westender, a short distance away, it had broken through again and in brilliant color, becoming part of a fantastic canvas on which the hues of pink, blue, and orange were painted across the sky. The work of the master artist and his masterful stroke, thought Kate as she surveyed the scene from their table.
Sunsets never failed to enchant and move Kate, causing her to praise the Maker for in them she saw his magnificence in creation, but they were fleeting, and so the precious moments did not last, their time all too brief.
When she had taken her eyes from the outside scene as it disappeared before them in the descending nightfall, Kate began to ask a few of the questions that she had stored up during the day and of which she now had great interest in learning. At long last it was Tim's turn to provide the information as he ventured to answer her inquiries.
First, she assailed him with several general questions about the area of Madaket as a whole, its real estate, and its overall charm. Then Kate got more specific and personal as she continued. "Why did you choose this part of the island to make your home?"
All of his responses would be what she might have guessed but she enjoyed hearing him relate them to her anyway as he explained, "The area had been the spot of many summer visits when I was a child so I guess I returned to what I knew best and what held the dearest memories and charm for me. My brother and his family, in fact, still come to visit for summer vacations." Kate nodded and smiled as he talked. "Also, it was the most affordable land anywhere on the island," for which Kate was glad to hear if she ever hoped to make it her home as well.
Tim concluded by punctuating his reasoning with one final remark that surprised and delighted her. "Besides, I love spectacular sunsets, too! " he said as he watched this one fade into the ocean, at which he turned and looked directly into Kate's eyes as he picked up his coffee cup.
Kate merely smiled as she agreed that Madaket would be the place to live if ever she moved to Nantucket, but the least expensive was still far out of her grasp financially, and when she hinted at this fact as they were leaving the restaurant, Tim stated almost prophetically, "You never know! An opportunity may present itself in the future, and then you'll have your wish."
"Maybe," Kate laughed, "if my fairy godmother is listening."
"I think maybe she already is," was his answer to her, and she didn't know what to make of it, so she said nothing.
By the time they returned to the town, it had become completely dark. Once the sun had disappeared, so too had the daylight in rapid succession.
Kate was on top of the world, feeling as if she had visited an enchanted land, and this night had topped off the entire weekend trip. Now she felt satisfied that she could return home knowing that she had truly experienced what she had read about in all those books the previous summer.
In her jovial good mood, Kate became more talkative than she had been all day, asking him questions she should have asked from their first meeting about his business and his life on the island. She was particularly interested in his trade. "How did you come to learn glassware?"
"Mexico." Tim answered swiftly and succinctly. Then he elaborated further, "Once on a trip to Mexico about ten years ago, I had seen some glass blowers at work. There were quite a few of them down there, and I became fascinated watching them. They seemed to live such simple, quaint lives, which appealed to me greatly at the time. I thought, I'd like that lifestyle, too, but it was harder than I imagined it would be those first few years I tried it."
Tim looked over at Kate. Seeing that he had her undivided attention, he continued, "You see, glass is not cheap here as it was down there. It's costly to come by and to ship to the island, as is almost everything."
Kate understood. "Oh, yes, I know from the island my father was raised on how expensive things can be."
"Oh, where is our father?" Tim asked suddenly wondering. "I was starting to think maybe you didn't have one."
"Yes," Kate chuckled, "I do, and he's home. We couldn't convince him to come. Said he spent too much of his life on an island and didn't care to see another one, even though I tried to explain to him that this island is different, that it has museums and movie theaters and a life all its own." Kate grinned to herself at the memory of trying to persuade her dad.
"I take it he wasn't convinced?" came Tim's keen observation.
"You got it!"
"Well, maybe someday." Tim added this possibility, "If you lived here, he'd have to come, right?"
"I don't know about that," mused Kate as she half-turned in her seat to glance back at her mother who was quieter than usual. "What do you think, Ma? You think Dad would come if I lived here?" Kate added this query remembering that her mother had warned her once that the visits would be extremely rare were she ever to move far away again.
Mrs. Lindstrom, who had been listening to Tim and Kate's conversation and pondering its implications, simply answered, "Time would tell I guess." Kate turned forward again, and she and Tim exchanged quick glances.
When they arrived at the Perwinkle Guest House, Kate, for the first time all day, allowed Tim to help her out of the Explorer after he had assisted her mother, at which time Erin Lindstrom said in her sweetest way, "Thank you so very, much, Mr. O'Malley, for giving us quite a day! You're an excellent tour guide. In fact, I'm fairly certain that yours is the best tour I've ever been on, and I'm sure it's the best on Nantucket!"
They all three laughed on that note, and Tim nodded his appreciation at the compliment as he took Erin's hand and shaking it, responded, "Thank you, Mrs. Lindstrom, the pleasure was all mine. I hope you'll return again soon to the island, and remember, it's just Tim."
"All right, Tim," she conceded, "if you'll call me Erin."
"Don't mind if I do. Have a good trip back, Erin," Tim responded cordially as she let go of his hand and smiled, turning towards Kate who had witnessed with satisfaction the scene of old-fashioned, bygone gentility.
"I'll go on up, Kate. See you upstairs," Erin excused herself as she glanced at the pair before her.
"All right, Mom. I'll be up shortly."
"Goodnight, Tim," Erin turned one last time to the kind fellow who had been so gracious.
"Goodnight, Erin," Tim gave her one last smile before she went up the stairs and into the guesthouse.
Tim faced Kate as she prepared her good-bye knowing full well that she might never see him again. She breathed deeply, thinking in her heart that she did want to see him again, very soon.
"Well, I can't thank you enough for the incredible day you've given us. It's been tremendous!" exclaimed Kate, pondering that the last word was an inadequate adjective to describe truly what she felt.
"You're very welcome, Kate," he said now taking her hand, "and I meant what I said to your mom – I hope you return again to the island, soon."
Kate looked down at her hand in his hand and then up at him suddenly. "Oh, I intend to! In the fall, November."
Tim laughed wholeheartedly but with endearment as he remarked, "You do pick the most unusual times."
"The most affordable," Kate corrected him as she let go of his hand and walked towards the few stairs leading to the entryway of the inn. He walked beside her.
"Kate?"
She stopped and turned towards him, "Yes, Tim?"
A look of complete surprise mingled with pleasure swept over his face as he smiled outright, observing with wondrous belief, "I think that is the first time all day, all weekend in fact, that you've called me by my first name of your own accord with no prompting."
Kate looked puzzled. "Is that all right?" she asked innocently.
Tim, still marveling, informed her, "It's just fine. It just sounds nice to hear you say it," and he sighed with genuine contentment over life's simple pleasures such as this.
Kate then grinned for she didn't think men cared about such things as having their names spoken; women cared about such things but not men in her general experience. Yet this one did, and his reaction amused and touched her, somehow.
"I have a favor to ask you," Tim finally continued, having almost but not quite forgotten his original thought.
Kate waited for what seemed like an eternity for him to say what it was for she couldn't imagine, and she didn't have the slightest idea except for one that had followed upon that statement in her brief interaction with men in the past. She braced herself preparing for the worst though she had a sense that he would never ask such a favor after the decent way he had treated her and her mother all day. "What is it?" was all Kate had the courage to ask.
"Would you write me?" Tim requested hopefully.
Kate stood flabbergasted for no man had ever asked this favor of her, and she was speechless for half a second but relieved and joyful all at once. "I'm terrible about letter writing," she advised him and then correcting herself, added, "I mean I write good letters; it just takes me forever to get them out."
Tim ignored the second part of the statement and focused on the first. "I bet they're good, and I'll try to match them with my own, and take your time, however long it takes," he encouraged her with his boyish enthusiasm. "I'm sure they'll be worth the wait!" expressed Tim earnestly with the same confidence in her that he had shown in himself all weekend.
Kate was taken aback by his assurance in her abilities not yet proven, but she answered positively, nevertheless, and nodding her compliance, agreed, "Okay, then. Of course, I will." As a quick afterthought, she queried, "To your address at the shop?"
"Yes, the P.O. Box, or to my home," Tim answered, and reaching in his pocket, he presented her with his business card in which he pointed to his home address hand-written on the back.
Kate eyed it curiously before asking, "Do you always write your home address on the back of all your cards?"
"No," he replied, "I just did for you." Noticing the puzzled look still on her face, Tim added, "I jotted it down while you were preoccupied with the Madaket Mystery experience at the Westender. I was hoping I would have this chance to give it to you."
"Oh," spoke Kate almost in a whisper, comprehending at last. "Well, unfortunately, I don't have a business card to give you or anything to write my address on."
"It's okay," Tim said suddenly, "I'll wait for your first letter, and I'll take special note of the return address." He smiled a charmingly quirky smile.
Kate couldn't help smiling back. "All right then," she decided as once again he held out his hand for her as if to seal the deal with a handshake.
As they shook hands, Tim stated, "I'm very happy to have met you Kate Lindstrom." Then concluding, he spoke her nickname again, "Kate."
"Thank you," answered Kate genuinely grateful for this man's gentility and kindness. "I'm happy to have met you also, Tim O'Malley."
"All right then," said Tim with a touch of the brogue again. Upon finishing their handshake, Tim started to walk away but backwards rattling off one pleasantry after another as if reciting a grocery list. "Well, take care; have a safe trip; see you in November."
Kate let out a little laugh. "Yes, see you."
Tim walked round to the driver's side of his car and looking back up at her, called out, "I look forward to that first letter!"
Kate smiled. "Well, be patient; it'll come. It may take a while, but I promise it will come!" Tim nodded. As she started up the steps, she paused on the landing and turning, she waved and called out, "Well, goodnight."
Not having gotten into his vehicle yet, Tim returned her wave. Then he stood there frozen, watching her. He called back, "Goodnight, Kate."
Part of her didn't want to go in; part of her wanted to stay right where she was or else run back to his Explorer to join him, because he had been so good to her and so kind. She was almost afraid that if she went inside in that instant, that he would vanish from her life forever and become only a faint, vague memory like in an elusive dream.
Kate chided herself for being silly as she then entered the inn; however, she did not go up to her room right away. Instead, she remained poised right inside the main door, listening.
She heard nothing for a time since Tim was still standing right in the same place outside his car, watching after her.
Once a few moments had passed, Kate heard his car start and then the sound of him driving away. The fraction of time had felt like some small eternity, seconds frozen temporarily.
Kate walked slowly up the stairs to the room, carefully and leisurely reflecting on the day and on her new friend, Tim O'Malley.
11: The Final Day~XI~
KATE awoke the following morning, Monday, feeling somewhat depressed as this was to be the last day of their weekend in Nantucket, and not even a full day at that. Of course, she still had breakfast and the ferryboat ride to look forward to, but other than these few items, life would be dull again and everything would be back to routine once they returned to Connecticut. However, just like one of her favorite literary heroines, Kate tried not to think of that just now: She'd think about that later, if not quite tomorrow.
As she rose from the four poster bed, Kate was dismayed to realize that she would probably go back to her fitful sleeping habits once home again as she seldom slept as well in ten years as she had in the canopy bed in the room they had occupied the past three nights. She found it strange as she generally slept worse in places other than her own. Except this room, being so comfortable, felt like her own.
Naturally, Mrs. Lindstrom had arisen before her and was already in the bathroom getting ready, so Kate, therefore, began to pack. For a split second, Tim O'Malley popped into her thoughts, and she wondered if they might run into him before they left the island, but she told herself to push the idea from her mind as there was little point to any chance of anything ever existing between them with the exception of them possibly becoming pen pals as he had proposed. She mused that he had certainly turned out to be a very decent and congenial fellow.
Despite Kate's semi-gray mood, the day before them was beautiful, in fact, the best of the whole weekend, which "figured," as her mother would say, now that they were leaving, but Kate was grateful for the small things, and this would help to cheer her if her mood blackened further in the day.
They had until noon before the ferry departed, which left time for a visit to a few more shops before checking out of the inn. Hence, following their last breakfast on the island at the Fog Island Café, Kate and Erin headed for the tourist center to pick up another copy of a guidebook Kate had left somewhere the day before.
As they made their way up Main Street for one last look, Kate was acutely aware that Tim's shop was just a short distance away, but in the opposite direction. She secretly wished that they would bump into him before leaving Nantucket, but she never would have admitted it and continued to tell herself that it was pointless. She did, as well, convince herself that it was so much better how they had ended things the night before. Now they would each have a nice memory of the other, and for Kate, especially, of her first trip to Nantucket. Even, by chance, if she and Tim didcorrespond, beyond that, she really held no hope for the future possibility of seeing him again.
The time was after nine o'clock, and Kate reasoned that Tim would have opened his shop by that hour. Should they drop by to say goodbye one last time before departing? "No!" Kate told herself. "Leave things be; it was perfect as it was last night. Don't be a nuisance, and besides, we don't have time!" So ran her list of excuses for going on their way.
The streets of Nantucket Town were extremely quiet on this Monday morning, which Kate found particularly delightful. The Fog Island Café had been quiet, as well, even closing off a section. Hence, Kate devoured her cranberry pancakes in peace.
Now as they headed up Main Street, she noticed it also was conspicuously void of people, and she felt she could enjoy it all the more. They walked by the Catholic church one last time as they had passed it many times in their weekend jaunts. They stopped in a bookstore once more since they had the time, and Kate and Mrs. Lindstrom looked about for some nearby Christmas shops they had read about. Finally, their last stop was to the Tourist Center, and then it was after ten o'clock, and time to return to the inn to check out.
Kate hated leaving their beautiful, little room of Laura Ashley wallpaper with its views of both the harbor and the First Congressional Church. She took this last opportunity to sit in the high backed, cushioned chair to study both from the windows on either side. It had been magical to hear in the evening the chimes resounding from that lovely church on the hill, and she knew even now that she would somehow miss it when she was away. Yes, although it had not been the room she had initially hoped, this room had turned out well, being everything she had dreamed of and more as far as lodging went, and she was extremely pleased.
They said goodbye to their special room as Kate and Erin left the quaint guest house unnoticed, which seemed to be the custom where there was no desk clerk to bid them adieu. There departure certainly was more inconspicuous than their arrival had been. Though Kate wished now to thank their hostess, she was also relieved that they could slip out quietly without fuss. She vowed, anyway, to send a heartfelt thank you note upon their return to Connecticut, so she could then demonstrate her appreciation for their home away from home.
It was Kate's and her mother's observation that they were the only guests still left or who had stayed the previous night, everyone else choosing to leave on Sunday, and they guessed it was the reason for the quietness of the morning. Whatever the reason, Kate was thankful for it. She did not feel up to a mad crush of people all leaving at once and being swept up along as she had when they had arrived with the masses on the island that Friday before. Consequently, the Lindstroms had their reign of the streets and sidewalks and the shops as they made their way to the Steamship Authority.
A few little trinkets were purchased at this last hour, the obligatory souvenirs to prove at least where they had been and as mementos of the trip. Kate picked up little gifts for those who had encouraged her in taking her first ever trip to Nantucket, as well as for those who had filled in for her at both her places of employment making it physically possible for her to take the time off in the first place. They all had been responsible for her having made the trip, and she wanted to show her gratitude in some way.
Erin and Kate each took a turn watching the suitcases outside while the other went inside to shop quickly. Many shops were closed due to the off-season still and due to the lack of visitors on this particular morning. How the shop owners had the foresight to know this ahead of time amazed Kate, but perhaps it was this way every week, she guessed. Perhaps he's not even open himself,wondered Kate as she allowed the thought of Tim O'Malley to rush in again.
Their last stop was to be the Whaling Museum Gift Shop to purchase some cranberry candy that they had tried and fell in love with on Saturday. Though the sign to the museum shop read eleven, the door stayed locked, and when at last the clerk inside seemed unmoved to let either Kate or Mrs. Lindstrom in, they proceeded for the dock.
"This was is!" Kate said to herself with a sigh, "What I've worked and saved for is over as quick as that."
They weren't the first to arrive at the dock. There were others ahead of them, but they still arrived in plenty of time. Kate made use of it by taking advantage of the restroom in the Steamship Authority building while Mom waited outside. On her way back out, Kate paused to inspect some old photographs that dotted the walls, ferries of yesteryear. Kate delayed there awhile dragging her feet as if hoping to stall time and their departure, but the inevitable was upon her, and Kate reluctantly searched out her mother and headed to the boarding queue.
As they waited to board, Kate took one last look around trying to remember every detail, burning it into her psyche, committing it all to memory to call upon at some later date or time when things would become too rough or life dismal, or simply, too routine again.
Because there were so few passengers, they were boarded quickly, and as was their most excitable way, they scrambled up the stairs to the upper decks, finding a good spot to stow their luggage under a stairway close to the bow.
Kate determined the bow to be her vantage point when the ferry pulled away from the dock and steamed off. She wanted the unobstructed view departing that she had not had arriving, and so they poised themselves.
Trucks were being loaded on the ferry while Kate watched and her mother snapped photos of her and of the scenery. When at last they heard the horn blow and the ship begin to move, Kate noticed people waving goodbye to friends or to family members leaving the island. It then occurred to Kate how nice it would have been to have someone see them off - how nice it always is, and as if her unspoken thoughts alone willed it, she looked ahead at that very moment to see a red Ford Explorer pull up in the parking lot and a familiar form emerge, the figure of Tim O'Malley who jumped out and was now running towards the ferry and bumping into people along the way in his quest to see them off.
Kate was ecstatic and smiling, she exclaimed, "Oh, my God!" as she called out to her mother, "Ma, come quick! Look!"
Mrs. Lindstrom came hurriedly to see what had her daughter so excited as she followed Kate's finger ahead, which pointed to the dock below.
"It's Tim, Mom! He came! He came to see us off!" Kate exclaimed incredulous.
Erin's eyes fell on Tim just then. "So he did," she said in quiet amazement, as they both began to wave, mother and daughter.
Tim was now as near as he could get to the edge of the dock without falling off, and he had caught sight of Kate waving wildly from the upper deck. He, in turn, followed suit, smiling broadly.
Kate was relieved that he saw her now. "He must have closed up a few minutes before twelve and dashed over to see us," she surmised joyfully. "How good of him to come," Kate said aloud but almost inaudibly.
The ferry was moving faster now, faster than Kate would have liked, and it was far enough out to begin to make the turn out of the harbor. The other bystanders had since departed satisfied that their family or friends were safely on their way and being unable to do any more, they had left, but not Tim. He remained, growing smaller and smaller by the second but continuing to wave, nonetheless, and as enthusiastically as ever.
Kate was delighted at his steadfastness. It had always bothered her when people waved loved ones off too quickly. She and her family had always prolonged the inevitable moment as long as possible as painful as it might be. Tim appeared to be no different. He was showing her in this small way another similarity between them without even realizing it.
She was stymied yet exuberant. He had come to see them off. He had made every effort to see them leave taking the memory of one friendly face with them. Kate had heard him yell something with hands cupped around his mouth for extra volume right before the boat had begun to turn and before they were completely out of earshot; it was simply this:
"See you next time!"
Then he had smiled his unmistakable grin as he continued to wave, and Kate couldn't miss it! She smiled as well though she was unsure that he could see from the growing distance between them which greater by the second. Yet, he seemed to know and smiled even broader.
Kate remained at the bow until Tim became very small on that dock, almost a dot standing still there, immobile, seemingly fixed in time and location. It was then that Kate said to herself, her mother having left her side long before, "Yes, see you next time."
12: Letters~XII~
THE ferry ride to Hyannis was relaxed, fairly uneventful, and seemed to take half the time of the ride over to Nantucket.
After the boat had turned from the harbor to head out to sea, Kate had momentarily thought to run to the stern to see if she could still spy Tim standing on the edge of the dock, but realizing how foolish she would appear and how futile her efforts would be at such a distance, she refrained from such an act. Moreover, she believed it would only deepen her sadness at leaving the island, as she was already sad as it was, despite the bright afternoon sun as the ferry steamed out of Nantucket Sound and into the open Atlantic.
Kate decided to sit facing the back of the boat so she could see the island diminish with each nautical mile until she would see it no more. For what seemed like forever, she was able to still make out the water towers and the Great Point Light, as well as just the outline of the island itself, and this vantage gave her some comfort.
At one o'clock, she imagined Tim back at his shop at work, maybe with a few customers. Certainly, he was no longer where he had stood on the dock. Nevertheless, it still amazed her to think of the length of time he had remained, surely longer than any other casual bystander.
Kate reached in the side pocket of her suitcase and took out her journal. She began to finally write about the weekend though her account was sketchy at best. Writing about it at all depressed her further, but she plugged away to commit to memory the eventful weekend trip.
In no time, the Lindstroms were in Hyannis and then on the bus back to Connecticut. Before long, they were pulling up to where Kate's father was parked waiting for them to disembark.
The trip was over as quick as it had begun, and Kate would spend the next hours mourning its passing though she also held an optimistic thought that helped sustain her in her dreary doldrums - the prospect of her future pen pal.
When Kate first decided to write, she didn't really expect to receive a reply knowing full well that people always said things such as "write me" or "call me" and then seldom did. Nonetheless, she took the chance and somewhat apprehensively sent out her initial letter. It began simply enough:
Dear Tim, You asked me to write, so here it is. I hope you'll be able to read my writing, as most aren't. It's a veritable scrawl at best…
She had chosen to write around the time of her birthday, which was in less than a month, following their trip. Then within a week (to her unbelief and sheer amazement, and almost as if to allay her doubts), came a reply. More incredibly, to Kate's astonishment and pleasure, it was a hefty response, as well. Along with it came a package.
Kate had not expected this, especially from a man. She had always written lengthy, verbose letters to friends, including male friends and priest friends, but seldom, if ever, would she receive them in return. Yet, Tim's came in equal measure to hers. In fact, as she read his, it appeared to Kate to have been written with hers right beside it, responding to each item or subject she had addressed. It began:
Dear Kate, I thank you so much for writing. Your letter, though much overdue, was a welcome sigh! I won't be too hard on you though for your tardiness, in so far, as I understand the rapidity of modern life and the lack of time, though those two issues are less pressing on Nantucket, then elsewhere. Therefore, I appreciate greatly your writing me in the first place.
I wish you had mentioned it was your birthday coming up while you were here, so I could have really showed you a night on the town, but as it were, I'm enclosing a birthday gift - a real book on Nantucket as opposed to those rip-off tourists' pamphlets the try to pass off as books! Please accept this with my sincerest wishes for a very, splendid year ahead for you, and one in which all your wishes come true.
Now, in regards to your concern over your handwriting, do not fret, for I, like you, still appreciate handwritten correspondence over computer generated ones any day. A letter in one's own hand is so much more personal, I agree. Computers have their place in business, school, and such, but I am in total accordance with you, that between friends, they are just too cold and impersonal. I found your handwriting not at all difficult to fathom, and I hope you will find mine somewhat legible. So please do continue to scribble away, and I will on my end, and together we will have a nice, tidy little mess that no one can appreciate or read but ourselves. Won't it be fun?
…On the subject of your work environment and lack of fulfillment in regards to it, I certainly can sympathize or even empathize as I was in the same state of mind when I found it necessary to leave the high-pressured world of finance in Boston. It was for preservation of my soul and sanity that propelled me thus forward, so you see, you and I have a great deal in common. I was where you are, and you, hopefully, will be where I am very soon! That did sound kind of funny, didn't it? Well, you know what I mean, anyway. I certainly wish better things for you, and yes, you are definitely right that the place where you spend so much of your day needs to be somewhat fulfilling. My only advice, though you did not actually ask, is to keep soul-searching and questioning and looking and thinking in other areas and of other possibilities, and in time, something is bound to present itself if you don't stumble onto it first or else, you'll just get so fed up one day that you'll just up and quit and sail away, as I did to Nantucket! Wouldn't that be nice? Keep it open as one of your possibilities or options, okay? For you never know!
…Speaking of my beloved island, I am glad you are making definite plans to return. November might be cold, but sometimes our autumns are nicer than our springs and far less dicey as far as weather goes. You are right, however, in thinking that it will be quiet then, for sure. If you can get that package deal in October, that would be ideal! The island is a wonder when its color is on full display, as you'll see in the photos in the book. As soon as your plans are firm, you will, of course, write and update me, won't you?
…I look forward to your next letter with greater anticipation than the first and to your next visit even more! So on that note, I bid you adieu for now and pray you will write again very soon!
The letter was concluded and signed:
Sincerely in friendship, Tim O'Malley. P.S. As far as your lengthiness goes, keep 'em coming! I appreciate your thoroughness and verbosity all the more and know you will be a great novelist yet!
Kate looked over the letter again, having read it once, studying its content and the bold, elegant slanted style of his hand. She was much impressed with this first endeavor in corresponding, and she was eager to write him again for he had also asked many questions of her regarding the many highlights of Connecticut and such. She, therefore, felt inclined to write and elaborate for him.
Within a month, she had written again and received a second reply; this one more lengthy that the first:
Dear Kate, your second letter was received with as much jubilation as your first. Thanks for writing, and so soon!
How clever you are in your descriptions of places and settings. I feel as though I have seen Connecticut and visited many times in my mind's eye thanks to your very liberal wordings and apt narratives. It sounds like a wonderful place from your letter, and I wouldn't mind seeing it for myself sometime in the future. Continue to write me of it so that I will be convinced and come even sooner, but first, we have your second trip to Nantucket to look forward to.
…Next time when you visit, I mean to have many surprises in store that you will just have to wait for - (A little bit of amateur poetry there)!
…Please do continue to write though, as times do get dull around here on occasion, and I find your letters every bit entertaining! You're a master storyteller, and I'd rather pick up one of your letters any day than the ponderous trash that populates the bestseller list. So do continue for it does my soul and psyche a world of good!
Subsequently, their general correspondence continued through the summer, always one to two letters a month for each, Kate's, in her wild chicken scratch, and Tim's, in the elegant, slanted style that was uniquely his own and to which she grew accustomed to seeing and looked forward to with greater fervor each time.
Through those letters, they came to learn each other's dreams, plans, and hopes for the future, and Kate had come to believe in so many months that never had she had such good, loyal, and true a pen pal since her youth as Tim O'Malley. She was also beginning to see him in a new light and in a new role as that of a trusted friend and confidant, which delighted her, for she had been told most of her adult life that men and women simply could not exist as friends, and yet, here was she and Tim proving the naysayers all wrong! They were establishing a relationship, forging a friendship through their correspondence, and she couldn't have been more thrilled!
Kate took comfort in Tim's letters, as well. His words of encouragement bolstered her confidence and inspired and consoled her in some of her darkest moments. She would return again and again to read his letters over for the solace they gave her.
Their correspondence was also, already, forming a bond between them that would become unbreakable in the years to come even though they had spent minimal time together in the course of their first meeting on Nantucket. Nevertheless, their letters had laid the groundwork, and Kate felt she knew Tim through their exchanges and hoped he was coming to know her from the information she poured out to him in each thick envelope that arrived on the island with the return address from Connecticut.
That shared new-found knowledge made Kate fervently long to see Tim again, and she prayed unceasingly that the months would pass, and that November would come quickly.
13: A November Visit~XIII~
THE summer did pass quickly as the mail brought even more frequent correspondence between Kate and Tim, and she was thankful for the distraction from her ordinary life and routine.
By September, her plans were firmly in place for her next visit to Nantucket Island. This time she would be traveling alone as her mother had declined joining her for obvious reasons for which she did not need, and chose, not to state. She simply bowed out, leaving Kate to make the journey this time on her own.
Tim had already written her that he would be picking her up at the Steamship Authority dock, and since it would be evening when she arrived, he suggested that they have dinner in town that first night before settling her in for the weekend.
In the last few weeks before the date of her impending arrival, which was set for the first weekend of November, calls flew back and forth between the two of them as they solidified schedules, times, and finalized the itinerary.
On the Friday morning of her scheduled departure, Kate's father drove her to the bus stop for Providence, and from there she began the route to Nantucket. She did not relish the long trip ahead of her with a bus change followed by the two hour ferry ride from Hyannis, but she recalled how quickly the time had passed on the first trip back in April, and she had enjoyed the boat ride that occasion immensely! "Probably will be the only time I'll get on the water in Nantucket," she chuckled to herself.
She had wanted to fly, finding a great package deal with a resort further out of town but still close enough for walking distance. Tim, however, had pleaded with her not to fly this time. He would not give a reason but humbly asked her to trust him, and without a further word, she had. Secretly, however, she wondered, though she attempted not to since she had a bad habit of always trying to guess the future and the actions of others. More often than not, she guessed wrong, her expectations, usually, being too high and, usually, causing her great disappointment.
Therefore, she tried to push any curiosity out of her mind. "Maybe he had some strange premonition," she tried to tell herself, but really she had other thoughts or guesses.
Without her mother along as her traveling companion, Kate quickly did what she never failed to do; with no one to talk to on an extended bus ride, she fell asleep. She awoke in time for the two stops before hers, just in time before crossing the bridge leading to the Cape. She was glad for this, as it was a beautiful bridge in an incredible spot at the mouth of the Atlantic, quite the vantage point. Within twenty minutes, the bus would be heading to the ferry.
Kate began to grow increasingly nervous. Though she still had at least three hours of this trip ahead of her, she began to fret over what her first meeting with Tim would be like after so many months. Would they be like strangers again or would the camaraderie they had shared towards the end of the last trip be present once more? True, she felt she knew him through his letters, but the written word could hide a great deal or at least reveal only the truth the writer wished to make known. Hence, Kate still had her apprehensions and her fears.
Would they be comfortable together? She would certainly have time to reflect over this question on the last leg of the journey - the ferry ride over to the island. She began to ponder the dilemma in earnest.
Though Kate always enjoyed being near the water, the length of time required to reach her destination by bus, and finally by ferry was long and tiring. She just wanted to get there already! Yet, once on board, and the ferry under way, she was content and enjoyed the ride as she had the first time. There was no one to talk to, but she didn't mind for it gave her time to think.
Kate did not fall asleep on the boat as she had on the bus. In fact, she was more alert than usual, and as the ship made its way into Nantucket Sound, all her senses were heightened.
Once the ferry made the turn into the harbor, it was nearly dark being that it was November and after daylight savings time as opposed to when Kate and her mother had arrived in April. Nonetheless, Kate was able to recognize the spectator on the dock who, watchfully, waited to greet a certain, particular passenger.
Tim was there, as promised, and in a short time, he spotted Kate, as well, and waved as she did. It seemed to take forever for the engines to stop and the boat to be moored. He waited, patiently, below near the boat ramp while Kate walked down the many steps to the bottom deck of the ferry. She took a deep breath in an attempt to gather her wits about her, as well as to calm her nerves. She had tried to tell herself that she was just meeting an old friend or really a new one who felt like an old friend, maybe.
The crowd was disembarking, and Kate was swept up in the masses that crossed the platform to the stairs leading to the dock. Tim was still standing there looking up, as he had not taken his eyes off the ship since it had pulled into the harbor.
Once Kate's foot had hit the pavement, and the crowd had dispersed, Tim was before her. They studied each other for a moment. Kate, immediately, recognized that he had not changed. His face had the same cheerful countenance; his hair was as unruly as ever. He was a sight for sore eyes and judging from the expression on his face, she guessed he felt likewise regarding her.
They stood facing each other as exiting ferry passengers passed in between and around them. Then Tim broke the silence between them first, saying in his friendly voice, "Hello! How was your trip?"
Kate, smiling as she answered, responded, "Long! Very long, but good."
Tim returned her smile and remarked, "Well, we'll soon have you refreshed again." Then he added on a more serious note, "It's good to see you!"
Kate was pleased that he had verbalized her own thoughts; where it had once annoyed her, now it came as a relief. "Thanks, it's good to see you, too!" Kate replied truthfully for she was very glad to see him; she had not foreseen how much she would be until her eyes had fell upon him as she stepped off the ferry.
Tim, for his part, stood transfixed as if he almost couldn't believe that she was really there or that they were together again after the past six months, present to each other now in body as well as in spirit unlike with their letters, which were merely in spirit.
Snapping out of his incredulity, he got down to the business at hand, taking Kate's bag from her and motioning her towards the Explorer. With one hand holding her suitcase and the other gently touching her back, he led her to the car, announcing, "I made a reservation for dinner at the Jared Coffin House. It's close to your inn, and we can stop there first for you to check in and get settled."
"Thank you," said a grateful Kate as she climbed into his vehicle.
Thus a pattern was established from that moment that would set the example for years to come of Tim closing up his shop and coming to meet Kate upon her arrival, settling her in, and then having a relaxing, quiet dinner together.
They walked to the restaurant from the Perwinkle, where she had finally decided to stay again since the package deal with the other inn had fallen through as a result of it being just for couples or so she had discovered.
Enjoying a leisurely dinner (though Kate had felt extremely tired on her way to the island), she presently felt a burst of rejuvenation as she and Tim chatted amiably and comfortably for hours. Kate's prior fears had immediately vanished as she realized at once that the easy manner of their letters had translated to their verbal conversations as well. This is what she had hoped for, and she was glad it had come to pass.
Slowly, they walked back to her inn, neither of them wanting their first night together to end. Kate noticed that Tim walked with his hands in his pockets as she did. She also was aware that he had never looked more adorable. She had not dwelt on his appearance in the past except to take it in, but she couldn't help admiring it now as she glanced from time to time at him while they walked side by side. Kate did have to admit to herself that he was an attractive man, at least in her eyes.
As they walked, Tim expressed regret for one thing, "I feel bad that you will be alone most of tomorrow while I'm at the shop."
Kate interjected, "Oh, please don't!" I'll be fine. I'll spend my time walking around town, and then I'll head to the beach and write and read, and do some of the things I didn't have the chance to do the last time."
He looked at her questioningly, not entirely convinced that she really would be all right.
Catching his look of uncertainty, Kate continued, "Maybe I'll go to a movie or perhaps to some of the museums I missed last time."
"Okay," Tim breathed with acceptance and then added, "I just worry about you."
The remark took Kate momentarily and gently by surprise, and with a secret delight, she thought to herself, He worries about me; he must care. She assured him, "I'll be fine, don't worry!"
Nodding, Tim agreed, "All right." Quickly, he added, "Then be at the shop around 5 p.m., and I'll have the first surprise for you." Suddenly, Tim questioned, "You remember where my shop is, don't you?"
"Of course!" she responded without hesitation, and Tim nodded with satisfaction. They had reached the Perwinkle by this point, and he was leaving her already. The night had flown by that fast!
Kate couldn't help noticing the twinkle in his eye as Tim headed for his car leaving her standing with a quizzical, semi-confused expression on her face. She decided to ask, "Yes, what are these surprises you keep mentioning."
"You'll see!" he called back to her. "Just wait! See you tomorrow."
Kate was flabbergasted that he was just going to leave her hanging like that, but there was no doubt as he was already in his car. Kate was amazed at how abruptly their night was concluding and at how succinctly they were saying goodbye, but before pulling away, he yelled out to her:
"Now get inside, so I don't have to worry about you out on the streets of Nantucket alone at night."
She could make out his grin even as she waved him off with a quick motion of her hand in protest of his foolishness.
Tim started the car, waved, and then was off with Kate left staring after him. Never had they ended an exchange that quickly, but then again, she had to consider that they had just spent a whole evening together.
She walked the few steps up to the front door of the inn; then pausing on the landing and looking off in the direction he had just driven, that is in the direction of Madaket and his home, Kate said to herself, "Well, he still is peculiar. That much hasn't changed!"
14: In The Shop~XIV~
KATE attempted all the next day to force Tim's mention of a surprise or surprises out of her mind. She went about the day as she had originally planned, having breakfast at the Fog Island Café, as she had with her mom on their first island visit back in April.
After she ate, Kate could have headed to his shop at this juncture, but instead, she walked in the opposite direction to Brant Point Light and beyond. She tried to see if she could make it to Jetties Beach, which was a little further. The waves were fairly calm being on the Sound, and it was quiet as far as people went, as she knew all the beaches would be in this non-tourist season.
She would try for another beach later like Madaket, where the waves were more intense just as she had discovered when Tim had taken her there in April. She was dying to get back there. Subsequently, she called a cab later in the afternoon to take her.
On the way, she wondered where Tim's house was. He had not offered to show her and Erin on the day he had chauffeured them all the around the island, even though he had brought them to the Madaket area. As a result, Kate now was extremely curious about where he lived, what kind of a house it was, and she wanted very much to see it this time.
Once the taxi had dropped her off at Madaket Beach, Kate experienced the same tranquil peace she had always enjoyed at Ocean Beach in San Francisco on the Pacific. The pounding surf of open ocean soothed her, and the constant motion of the waves against the shore created the most conducive atmosphere for meditation to the point that it became almost contemplative.
Kate was in her element, and she was able to write best under these relaxing conditions in this type of environment. Even when she wasn't writing, she could stay motionless, never restless, staring at the ocean for hours. It had that powerful a hypnotic effect on her.
Hours ticked away like seconds. It was nearly three o'clock when Kate realized that she better be heading back to town. She walked the short distance to the Madaket General Store to call a cab. Above the store was the Westender bar and restaurant, where Tim had taken her and her mom on their first visit to the island. She stopped in for a quick drink.
It had begun to rain. If the weather had been nicer, Kate would have liked to have stayed at the Westender and had a meal, hanging around long enough for the sun to set, but the day was gray. Not that she minded, for the gray sea on a stormy day appealed to her as much, if not more, than the sea in the brilliant darkening blue of a glorious sun drenched sky or at the end of a spectacular orange and red sunset.
Besides, she knew if she didn't leave within the hour that she would be late for meeting Tim. Kate had already decided to get to his shop a little earlier before he closed to see him at his job in action.
A cab came within a half hour, and she was back in the town by four o'clock. She went to the inn to freshen up before walking around the main street to kill a little time. It was less busy at this time of the day around the shops, and she was able to check out the store windows without bumping into people.
Never a shopper or even a window shopper, Kate, nevertheless, was drawn to the charm and layout of Nantucket's main street of shops. She particularly enjoyed viewing the shop windows when the skies grew dark and as the storefronts were lit for the evening's first passerby.
It was four thirty when she headed by the Gaslight Theater and recalled that she had thought about going to the afternoon show but had never made it. Oh, well, maybe tomorrow, unless Tim's surprise is to maybe see a movie tonight together, thought Kate, which brought to the forefront of her mind again the nature of what the surprise was and what he could be up to.
Kate was still wondering as she headed down Main Street to Straight Wharf. She was at his front steps within minutes. It was four forty-five by her watch, and she peered in to see that he still had one or two customers in the shop.
Before Kate ventured in, she stopped to gaze at his window display aglow with lights and glass Christmas ornaments. A tree at the corner of his property was also befitted with glass bulbs of every variety and size along with several different wind chimes, which rang musically in the evening breeze. Kate stared enthralled and enchanted at the magical display before her.
This is how Tim found her as he went out to pull some of the outside items back in the shop for the close of business. He stood for a moment poised on the step. For the longest time, Kate was unaware of him, and this gave Tim ample opportunity to take in the image of her. He was fascinated by the almost child-like wonder he saw in her as she stood smiling at the whimsical items all around her. Taking a deep breath, he spoke finally, disturbing her reverie, which he hated to do.
"There you are!"
Kate looked up suddenly, startled to find Tim looking at her in that bemused way of his. He had a cardboard box in his hand. He came down off the step to join her. She smiled unreservedly, pleased to see him. "Yes, here I am at last."
"Long day?" asked Tim with a raised eyebrow as he began to remove the items from the tree that had just a moment before bewitched Kate so completely.
"No, not really; it went by pretty fast! Still it seems like a journey, like every day," Kate acknowledged.
Tim pondered aloud her latest statement, "Every day a journey, huh? Interesting. Well, how about journeying into the shop while I cash up for the night?"
Kate grinned, nodded, and followed him in, remembering immediately why she loved this little place so much. There was one customer still remaining, but Kate was too busy enjoying how beautiful everything looked to pay her any mind!
Apparently, the enchantment was not relegated to the outside of the shop alone. The inside enticed her as well just as it had the first time she had seen it in April when there had been no outside display to grab her attention or at least when she had been to involved to have noticed. However, now, just as then, the interior of the shop struck her fancy and delighted her imagination and senses in a profound way by bringing her back to another time in her life when she, too, had worked in a little shop.
However, as she walked about the store, Kate did feel a pang of envy that Tim had a job in a place like this to look forward to each day while she trudged away at her desk job day in and day out, month after month. Nonetheless, Kate could not begrudge him this happiness as he had paid his dues in the office world long ago and had paid dearly according to what he had briefly told her or so that had been Kate's impression at the time. Because of this knowledge of his past, she was glad that he now had the chance to do what brought him joy and fulfillment. She prayed that one day she would have a similar chance.
Kate meandered around as Tim ushered his last customer of the day out the door. He quickly closed and locked the large, heavy door causing the bell above to jingle loudly. She watched as he turned the sign around in the window stating that he was closed. Kate was suddenly aware that they were now alone.
Tim turned to her with a great look of relief that his work day was finally over. "I'm so glad you're here! What a day it's been!" he shook his head as he made his way down the compact aisle to the register.
"Busy one, huh?" Kate asked interested.
"Yeah, and who would figure? Why there's hardly anyone on the island this time of year, and yet, I think each one of them that is here had to have been in my store today!" stated an amused Tim, chuckling as he took the cash out of the register to count it.
Kate watched him for a good, long minute while he was occupied with the chore at hand. She noticed immediately that he was wearing a very loose, flannel shirt over a navy turtleneck with plain trousers. There was nothing stylish in his appearance, yet, it impressed Kate how completely comfortable and relaxed he looked, as he always did. She took pleasure in seeing him in his work environment, and so she continued watching him.
Tim remarked, "This will only take a few minutes, and then we'll be on our way."
"Oh, yes, the surprise," acknowledged Kate, purposely, with an intended mysterious tone to her voice.
Tim looked up and grinned, seemingly delighted to have kept in her suspense. "Yes, you've been wondering, huh? You've been trying to guess?" he asked with a certain satisfaction as he returned to counting.
"Maybe," replied Kate coyly, still watching him.
Suddenly, Tim changed the subject while he continued to put his bills in order. "What did you do today?"
"Oh, I'm afraid I wasted nearly the whole day at the beach," teased Kate.
"Really?" asked Tim amazed, "which one?" He continued looking down at the currency in front of him as he also continued querying her.
Kate began to relay her day's activities for him, grateful to be able to share with someone who was interested enough to ask. "Oh, first I headed to Brant Point, and then I walked out to Jetties Beach."
"You walked all the way out there," Tim asked surprised and impressed.
It astounded Kate how he seemed to hear everything she was saying while being able to also do his work. She had never possessed that talent. She answered him, "Yes, but there were hardly any waves there, so I then caught a cab and headed out to Madaket." Tim looked up slowly and stared for a good thirty seconds at her. It scared her. Kate asked alarmed, "What's the matter?"
"You went to Madaket?" he asked.
"Well, …yes," Kate stammered under his intense stare. "Remembering how great the waves were last time we were there… I wanted to experience it again. I mean, that's really when I always enjoy the beach the most, when the surf is the heaviest, and that is the heaviest on the island, right?" Kate suddenly wondered why she had to explain all this. What difference did it possibly make?
Tim looked thoughtful a moment, then returning to his work, he looked down, not saying a word.
Kate wanted to ask him why it mattered, as it did seem to matter to him though he was not saying, but she held her tongue. Humph, and I thought he'd be pleased, Kate said in her mind.
She began to meander about the store until she stumbled upon a room towards the back. There was a workman's table there like a drafting table but without a slant to it. On top of it was a unique lamp along with some strange machinery and pieces of glass. Kate suspected that this was where he did most of his work, and she was extremely curious, wondering how he did it.
Tim glanced up to see that Kate had moved and was peering into his little workroom. Having finished totaling his receipts and filling his deposit slip out for the bank, he closed and locked the register. Then he walked back to the back of the shop to where Kate was until he was standing directly behind her.
At first, Kate did not notice Tim, as she was too busy staring into the workroom. When he spoke, he startled her just as he had outside the shop earlier. She was beginning to curse the fact that she could be so completely oblivious to those around her or else he was just too quiet on his feet, which made it particularly difficult to be aware of his presence. Either way, Kate cursed an oath under her breath.
"What do you think of it?" Tim questioned as he brushed past into the room and sat down at the workbench.
"Oh, I don't know what to think," Kate honestly stated. "How do you do it?" she asked him in a sincerely, interested tone.
Tim smiled. "Look, I'll show you," he replied as he beckoned her over.
Kate complied, walking casually over to him.
He lit the blowtorch and put on a small pair of safety glasses and gloves. Then he began to use the torch on a square piece of glass on the table. Kate moved in closer for a better look, crouching slightly as she did so.
Tim moved the glass around and around under the blowtorch until it began to reassemble something. Then he moved it up and down and over the glass, sometimes in a circular motion, sometimes straight across.
Kate was fascinated. The glass melted and twisted in every sort of odd way imaginable. At first, it was indistinguishable what it might be nor could she guess what it would become, but as Tim molded and turned the object in his hands, Kate began to see it take the shape of a goblet.
How quickly it formed at that point. It seemed in no time that he had a crafted item. Once having created a stem and a base for, he shut off the blowtorch, lifted his goggles and handed the finished product to Kate warning her to "take care" as the item was still warm.
Kate took the glass from Tim's still gloved hands, fully astonished at how quickly and beautifully something could be made out of nothing. She admired and studied it intently. Then turning to Tim, she gave a bright, wondrous smile. He was already smiling back at her as he gauged her reaction and appreciation of his work, but he was smiling at something else as well that Kate suddenly became aware of.
In her fascination at watching Tim at his craft, she had inadvertently drawn very close to him, and now she realized the near proximity they shared. At once embarrassed and unsure, Kate, awkwardly, backed away but managed to say, "It's beautiful, Tim. What lovely work you do!"
As she went to hand the item back, Tim still smiled and replied nonchalantly, "Keep it. It's yours. I've got no use for another goblet; the shop is full of them." He motioned around as he stood up to leave the small workroom, peeling off his gloves and throwing them down as he did.
While Tim turned off the light and shut the door to the area, he noticed Kate standing transfixed holding at eye level the freshly made glass chalice, his gift to her. Tim walked by Kate in the aisle, which was very tight. He paused to say quietly, "We better go."
"Yes," Kate responded abruptly, "Let's go." Then hurriedly, she squeezed by him and headed for the door with Tim looking curiously after her.
15: Surprises~XV~
TIM followed close behind Kate, turning off the lights and locking the door to his shop in the process. Once in the car, he noted how strangely silent she had become. Keeping a watchful eye on her, along with the road, he suspected what the reason might be but kept it to himself. When they were on the road away from the shop, he at last broke the silence.
"You know, I don't think you're going to be too happy with tonight's surprise after where you've spent your day." Tim glanced quickly at Kate.
His words jarred her back to the present, and she reacted as she turned to him, "Oh, are you finally going to tell me? And by the way, where are we going for dinner tonight?" she questioned in a semi-demanding, impatient tone.
Tim grinned. "Well, that's the first surprise," he teased. "We're going to Madaket."
"Oh!" Kate exclaimed with sudden recognition. "To the Westender! Oh, that's fine. Why would I mind that?"
Tim shook his head. "No," he said slowly and more cautiously, "We're going to my house."
Kate sat ramrod straight in her seat as she turned swiftly to see Tim watching her out of the corner of his eye.
"I hope you don't mind," he continued, "having gone all the way out there today, only to have to return to that area again tonight. You might get sick of Madaket at this rate."
Relaxing slightly and looking away, Kate remarked easily, "Not at all. I could never get sick of Madaket."
Had she been looking in Tim's direction just then, Kate would have caught sight of the little smile around the corners of his mouth, but she was too busy thinking of what going to his house might mean. Being of a suspicious nature, she naturally feared the worst, advantages taken, awkward moments. However, she reminded herself that he had done nothing thus far to demonstrate any ill behavior on his part, and he certainly didn't warrant her doubts, and Kate did have to admit that she wanted to see his dwelling place.
Hence, she relaxed a bit more and with glee and with a certain amount of curiosity commented, "So, I'm finally going to see where you live, your house."
Tim couldn't fail to hear the mild anticipation building in Kate's voice. "Well, don't get too excited. It's not much. Just a little shack, really, "he said with unusual modesty.
"How many rooms?" asked Kate, business-like.
Tim answered in like manner, "A three bedroom house with living room, kitchen, deck, and two baths."
"Then it's no shack!" concluded Kate emphatically.
"Well, wait until you see it before you make any judgments," Tim warned, and Kate agreed.
Though it was dark and the road out to Madaket long and winding, Kate nonetheless enjoyed the ride and didn't mind at all having made the trek this direction once already. Normally, repeating a same route twice in one day would have nettled her, but this was such an important occasion, she was elated.
In what was a relatively short time, Tim turned off the main road and announced, "We're here!"
Dark as it was, with no streetlight anywhere, and with no moon to shed its natural light, Kate was unable to see anything at first. Then as they grew closer to the end of the long, gravel driveway, the headlights hit the front of the house just long enough for Kate to catch a look before Tim pulled off to the side to park.
In those few brief seconds, Kate had taken in the sight of a modest Cape nestled among the trees, an unassuming, little house, reflecting its owner perfectly.
"Well, here we are," said Tim, as he shut off the Explorer.
Kate couldn't take her eyes off the house as Tim led her up the front steps and inside. "Welcome to my humble, little abode," he said as he turned on a light.
As Kate stepped inside, past the threshold, she was pleased for what she saw was very near to what she had imagined it would be, a ramshackle little place that she herself would have liked as her own. It was not one of the perfect houses depicted in the Nantucket real estate guidebooks, to which Kate was grateful, for perfection didn't suit her; a place that was lived in did as Tim's place clearly was. No, in this house there were papers strewn about and books everywhere, but Kate thought that ideal for it was how she herself lived in her own place.
After Tim had given her a chance to take in the scope of the place, he then became the gracious host. "Here, let me give you a little tour," he offered, and he led Kate from one room to another, explaining briefly which was which as they went.
The place was simple in design, a living room, combination dining room and kitchen, three bedrooms, one that he used for storage more than anything else, one that he used as a home office though it had a bed in it as all the bedrooms did for he told her that his brother and family came to visit a few times a year. There were also two bathrooms, as he had mentioned on the ride over.
"Who cleans all this?" asked Kate, impressed with the fact that the place was well kept unlike her own habitat.
"Oh, I do. I mean I try. I'm not the best housekeeper in the world, but I do my best," stated Tim cheerfully, just as he picked up a sweater thrown over an arm of a chair.
Kate was astonished. She had known few men who were good housekeepers, most opting for a cleaning service or a once week maid, something like that. Kate had just found another reason to respect Tim O'Malley.
"Well, you do better than me," she admitted amazed. "It takes everything in me just to keep three rooms clean, never mind a three bedroom house, and I don't even do that very well!"
Tim responded shamefaced, "Well, you saw that third bedroom on the second floor. I don't really deal much with it."
Not really hearing him, Kate enthused, "This is so great!" and turning to him, she said graciously, "Thank you for showing me where you live. I really like it!"
Tim nodded and smiled. It pleased him that she so obviously and genuinely liked where he had chosen to live, both the location and the place itself.
Then Kate started to head for the front door again. "Should we head out now?" Still under the impression that they were going out for dinner, Kate stood, expectantly, waiting for Tim to lead her out the door, but he just stood where he was, looking at her and grinning, to which she began to frown. "What is it?"
He gingerly began, alternating between looking at her and looking down at the floor, "Oh, I thought you understood…we'll have dinner here if you don't mind." Noticing her confusion still, he elaborated further. "I'm going to make you dinner." As an afterthought, he added, "Surprise!" Then he waited for her reaction, not knowing what to expect from her as she was one who frequently reacted unexpectedly.
"You cook?" Kate asked, definitely surprised.
"Well, I try," replied Tim, reservedly. "I'm about as good a chef as I am a housekeeper, but I can whip up a nice, little dinner in relatively, short time, and I enjoy doing it," he explained.
"Humph," grunted Kate, "I hate to cook!"
"Good then," said Tim undeterred. "You sit right here," he led her to a stool in the kitchen, "and I'll take care of everything while you watch me." He grinned.
Kate felt apprehensive at first believing that these situations rarely had been good for her for many reasons, beginning with being in a man's house with just her and the man alone, even if the man was cooking her dinner. Though after a time, she began to relax by the easy way in which Tim talked as he worked, seemingly content with her just listening and watching him.
He had been right in saying that he could whip up something in no time, for in just about no time at all, he had whipped up a salad, garlic bread, and a pasta dish with vegetables. Before he had even begun to cook, however, he had uncorked a bottle of wine, a nice merlot to warm them on the chilly November night. Hence, as Tim cooked, and as Kate watched, they sipped their wine, each feeling more relaxed and comfortable by the minute, which should not have proved too difficult as by now they were like old friends. Having dinner together proved this for the conversation was lively and animated, and they took delight in each other's company.
Following their dinner, they adjourned to the living room area, tightly furnished and loaded with books but homey, nonetheless. Tim settled into a rocking chair with his glass of wine; Kate settled on the couch with hers. For the first time all evening, they fell silent watching the fire he had recently made in the small fireplace. Its crackling was the only sound for a while.
Unusually long silences frequently disturbed Kate, but somehow between the two of them, it didn't bother her. She had been busy, anyway, studying the house further from her spot, concluding that it was a rare find – a charmingly imperfect, little house to have on this island of many grandiose, perfect, and pretentious houses.
Earlier Kate had asked Tim how he had happened upon it. He had explained that it had been a favorite house to rent of his parents on summer vacations, being the least expensive of the rental properties on the island. When he had left Boston for good, he had tracked down the owner and had talked him into selling though it would be a momentary loss for the businessman as he could easily make twenty thousand in one summer! Nevertheless, Tim had convinced him that in the long run, he would lose much more over the years with the constant upkeep and maintenance the house would require, and it would eventually drain him. The man relented, and the house became Tim's for a minuscule five hundred thousand – cheap for Nantucket! Still, Kate was staggered and speechless.
Sitting on the couch, soaking in the atmosphere and ambiance of the house, Kate truly felt this was all a person needed to be happy, a roof over one's head, in a quiet neighborhood, and so close to the ocean though Tim had a view of a pond instead of the beach. No mind, the walk was only ten minutes to Madaket Beach. Kate reflected that she would be in a state of perpetual bliss were this place all her own. When she had properly mulled this over in her mind for some substantial time, she finally spoke.
"Thank you for cooking me dinner," she offered shyly.
"You're very welcome," came Tim's gracious answer in his most cordial tone, as he turned a sidelong glance in her direction.
Kate continued, "It's been a long time since anyone has done that for me, cooked me dinner, that is." Tim nodded slightly. Kate went on. "I'm glad you didn't ask me to help. That always use to end in disaster in the past."
"Oh?" Tim asked curious. "Did you ruin some chef's creation?"
Kate understood that he was probably teasing her again as his inquiry was stated with his usual amused air. Even though she felt she might reveal too much, she let him know exactly what she was recalling, a memory that was still painful to her almost six years later.
"Well, I did practically everything wrong, and it ended in a fight with me storming out the door."
Tim appeared a bit perplexed. "What could you have done so horribly?"
Kate answered bluntly. "Just about everything or at least that's what I was told," she remarked, looking down at her wine glass as she did. "I just know it didn't work, being constantly criticized and living that way." Kate, suddenly, looked up to see Tim's intent expression, which told her, immediately, that she had revealed too much, but his response shocked her as it was full of gentleness and just as quickly she looked away again.
"No, I don't imagine it would," Tim murmured as he studied her downcast face. "And who told you those things?"
It was too late to go back now; Kate let him know. "My boyfriend at the time. That's why I have no use for them – boyfriends that is!" and she looked Tim right in the eye on that point. He just stared at her for a good, long moment, and Kate wondered what he'd say to that, how he would respond to such a shocking, blanket statement. She sat on pins and needles waiting for that response. When at last it came, she was disappointed.
"Well, it's getting late. I better get you back to your inn." All at once, Tim was up and fetching her jacket.
Kate set down her wine glass, not expecting this reaction. Now she worried that she might have offended him. She took her coat from him as he handed it to her. Then she followed him to the door.
The ride back to town was mostly in silence, the kind that Kate did find awkward and troublesome. Occasionally, she would glance Tim's way to see if he was visibly upset. He showed no apparent signs of it and would catch her glance, always returning it with a smile.
On their arrival at the Perwinkle, Tim walked Kate up the front steps and to the front door. She turned to face him and impulsively blurted out, "Tim, I hope I didn't offend you by what I said back at the house." She didn't give him a chance to answer as she blundered on. "I just speak in general terms at times, but I don't mean to offend! Well, not always, and certainly not you," Kate told him truthfully.
"Kate, it's all right," Tim assured her. "You've been hurt; I understand."
Kate was nodding her head in appreciation that he did seem to understand, and that he was okay with it. She was tremendously relieved, as she didn't want to lose this newfound friend.
Tim continued, "I'll just ask what I hinted at the first night we met: Is friendship allowed?"
Kate was shocked. She presumed they already were friends at this point. Now to assure him, she spoke up immediately and forcefully, and this time she added no conditions or afterthoughts to discourage him. "Yes, of course!"
Tim smiled and Kate could see that he now was the relieved one, and she was glad, but she did not expect what he was about to say next. It had been a night of many surprises: First, seeing his house; second, his making her dinner, and now Kate was about to receive the greatest surprise of the evening.
"Well, good. Then can I ask a favor, a repayment as it were for all of my hard work tonight in preparing the meal?" Tim asked her slyly, and Kate could tell at once that he was still in good humor.
"Go ahead," Kate responded without hesitation, unlike the first time he had asked a favor of her.
Tim thought for a moment, rubbing a finger across his mouth. Then taking a deep breath, he forthrightly asked, "As friends, are hugs allowed?"
Kate broke into a grin as did Tim when he saw her reaction, and she responded heartily, "I don't see why not."
At that, Tim reached out to Kate and she to him, and they embraced in what could only be classified as a sweet, tender moment. They held each other just for a moment, but it was a moment worth a million as Kate drew strength from his hug and he, encouragement from hers. They said nothing but they both involuntarily laughed at the joy of such a moment until they ended it by awkwardly pulling apart.
Neither broke the embrace first; it was simply a mutual thing, timed in unison and driven by instinct, as the hug itself had been in the first place. They both smiled with the knowledge that they had shared their first physical contact as friends. Kate thought it all the more fitting that it had occurred on the top of the stairs, which she had read were called friendship stairs due to the Quakers who had built them. She surmised that for this reason alone, it was meant to be.
"Well, good night," Tim said as he began down the steps. "See you in the morning. I'll pick you up at nine for Mass."
"Unless you want me to meet you there," called Kate after him.
"No, I'll pick you up," Tim stated as he went round to the driver's side. As he was opening his door, he looked up and added in a mischievous voice, "And Kate, I have one last surprise in store for you this weekend. So get set!"
Immediately intrigued, Kate inquired incredulously, "What do you mean? Wasn't this all enough tonight?"
Tim brushed off the whole evening's events with a wave of his hand, "Oh, this all was nothing! Tomorrow is the big one – the grandiose one – the grand finale! You wait!" Tim warned her with that familiar twinkle in his eye. "I'm gonna keep you guessing a little while longer. So have a good night's sleep, Kate. I'll see you in the morning!"
Kate noted that he had to fight to suppress his grin. He appeared to be enjoying himself tremendously by leaving her dangling in suspense for the night. She chided him, "Oh, you! Well, I'll wait anxiously for tomorrow then!"
Tim climbed into the Explorer, waved back at her, and drove off. Kate wondered, What is he up to now?
16: A Ruse~XVI~
THE next morning brought the glorious sun, and along with it, Tim O'Malley, bright and early as promised.
It was still quite cool outside but not extremely so for an autumn day in November. Kate didn't mind the temperature at any rate, as she was too busy trying not to show her excitement about the day's events as she hopped in next to Tim in the front seat of the Explorer.
Today, he had promised her final surprise, and Kate could hardly contain herself as a result. Thus far, his surprises had been very agreeable and pleasant, but he had remarked that he had saved the best for last, but that she would still have to be patient a little longer. First, there was Mass, then breakfast, maybe a walk around the harbor, he had hinted, then the surprise.
Kate had looked forward to being back at the quaint church of Saint Mary's Our Lady of the Isle, and once there, she enjoyed the simple loveliness of the church again, but try as she might she could not push the idea of the surprise out of her mind long enough to concentrate on Mass. She did, however, allow another thought to enter her mind:
Sitting side by side in the pew with Tim, it occurred to Kate that this was the first time they had attended Mass together. There had, of course, been the occasion of her first visit to the church when he had been in the pew behind her, but she didn't count that day as she had been trying to avoid him then.
As the part of the service featuring the sign of peace approached, Kate wondered what she and Tim would do. What gesture would they each give the other as the priest instructed the congregation to share some sign with those around them? Would they shake hands or would they hug as they had the night before? Kate was concerned for a moment but realized right away that she need not have been for the interaction was as natural as breathing.
Tim extended first his hand, but as soon as Kate reached for it, he pulled her to him, and locking her in a heartfelt embrace, whispered, "Peace." He quickly added a kiss on the cheek that surprised Kate, and yet, simultaneously, caused her to smile. It was exactly the kind of exchange that should exist between friends, and silently, in that moment, Kate thanked God for it.
Following the conclusion of the service, Tim introduced Kate to the pastor whom she had not met previously, since the first time in April, she had been bent on escaping Tim and so had missed out on the hospitable gesture of greeting the celebrant outside. This morning she gladly took the outstretched hand extended to her as she met "Father." The priest smiled graciously and offered kind words to Kate as he remarked to Tim how good it was to see him back again.
Once they were beyond the church, Kate inquired, "What did he mean by that?"
Sheepishly, Tim began with some hesitation, "Well… you see… I don't always make it to church every Sunday."
"Why not?" Kate demanded aghast as she came to a dead stop and turned to him for an explanation. Their mutual religion of Catholicism was one thing she was glad they had in common, but that similarity meant nothing if he didn't practice the Faith.
Tim, faltering in his step at her sudden halt, looked ashamed and cringed at the shock in Kate's voice, as well as, from the harshness of her glare. He wondered if he had already fallen from her grace at his unfortunate disclosure. He tried to explain.
"I suppose it's just plain old laziness. I work six days a week, and sometimes, I just like a day not to have to go anywhere."
"Well, I certainly understand that!" emphasized Kate as she began to walk again with Tim picking up his step alongside her. "I work seven days a week, two days at my church, which naturally makes it easier to attend Mass, but even if I worked somewhere else, I'd still make every attempt to go to church. You have to try! It's only one hour of your whole week!"
Tim studied her face in its earnestness. Even from the side, he could tell how sincere and passionate she felt about it. He decided then and there, "I will then, attend Mass weekly, because you asked me." He was pleased with his decision, and his voice revealed it.
Kate stopped once again and faced him, and he followed suit. "Don't do it because of me!" she strongly admonished him. "Do it for God, for your creator! Do it for yourself, for your well-being!" She stopped abruptly and looked away, realizing she had been preaching. When she looked back, Tim was gently smiling at her and waiting, patiently, on her next word.
She added, more subdued this time but just as firmly, "I find I can't get on without it. That's why even when I'm traveling, I still have to attend. Not because anyone tells me to, but because I need it and feel off kilter if I don't. It's the least I can do for a god who has seen fit to take care of me, as I believe He has, to give him my gratitude and worship, to spend that one hour a week with Him in His house."
All at once, Kate started to laugh, now embarrassed by her little speech, which Tim had, so generously, listened to and without interrupting or cutting her off but instead giving her his full attention as if what she had to say was the most important thing in the world.
She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go on and on. How horrible for you to have to stand there and listen."
"I enjoyed it," Tim replied honestly and still smiling. "You can go on and on with me anytime, and I will try to be as faithful as you mentioned, but it won't be half as enjoyable by myself." On concluding, he winked at Kate as he led her to the car.
"Oh, you're incorrigible!" remarked Kate with a laugh.
They ate breakfast at the Fog Island Café just as they had together on her last trip. Afterwards, Tim suggested a walk about the harbor to allow their food to settle. Kate thought it a strange request but complied as last time they had not had the luxury of walking around together, and this was going to be a leisurely day. Yet, in the back of her mind, Kate hadn't forgotten about the surprise though Tim had made no mention of it this day at all, thus far.
After they had walked for what seemed like forever, up and down every wharf along the harbor, including the Straight Wharf where his shop was located, and the Old North Wharf, as well as through the entire town, back at the car, Kate asked, "What now?"
"I thought we'd go for a ride, okay?" Tim checked with her.
"Okay," answered Kate still wondering what the final surprise was and if he had forgotten.
They were on Hummock Pond Road when Tim turned off to the beach at Cisco. "I thought that maybe you'd like to walk one last time on the beach before leaving," Tim announced with a somewhat apprehensive voice.
"Sure," said Kate, questioning in her mind if this was the surprise.
Cisco was wonderful in Kate's opinion, as she had remembered from their first tour of it together when Tim had served as her and her mother's tour guide that previous April. The waves were intense, because the shore was on the south side of the island and, thus, unsheltered. just like at Madaket.
They walked the length of it and then some, even crossing over to Miacomet Beach at one point. In some places, it was hard to tell where one beach ended and another began, but Tim had walked them enough to point out the changes that marked the new names.
Kate had always love beaches, anyway, but the beaches on Nantucket were fantastic in her mind, and this day she found it especially true. Because it was November and past the tourist season, they virtually had the whole shore to themselves, and they enjoyed it to the fullest.
Following a leisurely couple of hours at Cisco, they were back on the road again. By now it was nearly three o'clock by her watch, and Kate was beginning to think there wasn't going to be any real surprise. The thought caused her to feel like an ingrate. Tim had already done more for her, showed her more, and treated her to more niceties in one weekend than anyone had the right to ask for. She hated herself for looking for more. If he just hadn't mentioned a final surprise, thought Kate. She decided to forget about the whole thing and enjoy their remaining time together.
This was what was going through her mind and what she was agonizing over while Tim was driving along Milestone Road. Kate was enjoying the ride but, nonetheless, was ensconced in her thoughts when she suddenly figured out that they were heading to the airport.
When Tim pulled into the Nantucket Memorial Airport parking lot, Kate's suspicions were confirmed. Oh, he's taking me to Hutch's for lunch, mused Kate though it had just been a few hours since finishing breakfast.
No words were spoken as they headed into the airport. They paused in the atrium which allowed Kate the opportunity to take it all in. Then with a sigh indicating her pleasure, Kate began to head off to the right, in the direction of Hutch's.
Tim watched her go a few feet, when he called out to her amusedly, "Where ya going?"
Kate paused, looking back at him, confused and saying, "I thought we were going to Hutch's for lunch.
"Well, maybe later, but I really don't think you want to eat so soon before we do this," said Tim gesturing towards the airfield.
She looked at him blankly. "Do what?" Kate asked, totally clueless.
"C'mon, I'll show you," said Tim with a gleam in his eye. He went through the middle gate and waited for Kate to follow him. An airport employee met him just then. After speaking a few words to the man, while showing him identification and pointing towards Kate, the two exchanged smiles, and then Tim was allowed to pass onto the airfield unhindered.
Kate witnessed the whole scene with a dazed demeanor as though she were in a dream. She had no idea what was going on and could not fathom what Tim was up to now. All she could do was blindly join him out on the tarmac when he beckoned her. The airport worker merely smiled as she passed by.
Tim led her out to a small twin-engine plane as a man appeared from inside and greeted Tim heartily. A nervous excitement overtook Kate as Tim announced, joyfully, "Here's the final surprise!"
Kate, in stunned silence, looked from one smiling man to the other until at last she grabbed Tim's arm and spoke, barely audibly, "Tim, you mean…"
Tim, still full of glee, gestured to the man on the plane and elaborated, "I chartered my friend Bill here to fly us around the island."
"Oh, Tim!" Kate responded breathless, clutching his arm. She was excited enough as to be unable to contain it, and her expression showed them so.
"Ready for a ride?" asked the equally, gleeful Bill to whom Kate could only nod. "Well, hop aboard," he urged her, cheerfully.
Kate easily complied, followed by Tim. They sat in the seats directly behind Bill. It was a nine-seater plane, so there was a seat against each window with an aisle between the seats, though small enough that Tim and Kate weren't far apart.
Bill started up the engines, and a big smile broke across Kate's face. As Bill taxied down the runway and the plane began to accelerate, Kate felt her adrenaline go with it. Though she loved to fly, there was always a moment at lift-offs when she said a little prayer that everything would be all right, that it would be a safe flight. This instance was no different.
In no time, they were airborne, and the rush of the take-off was still with Kate as the plane soared higher into the sky. She felt a beautiful sensation akin to floating hit her all at once as Bill leveled the plane off. They had reached the altitude they would remain at for most of the flight, the height that would be best for viewing the island.
Because the noise in a twin-engine plane was so great, Bill could only shout and point out things by tapping on the windows. In fact, he wore headphones most of the time, maybe to block out the sound or to be more attuned to listening to the control tower and other plane activity in the area. Whichever it was, Kate did not know, but she thought it made him look even more the part. Between her and Tim there were few words, as well, as she just gazed out the window in awe, and he, in like manner, at her.
Kate studied everything like a little kid at a circus or carnival. Tim was taking in his own view besides him. Her reaction from the beginning, once she had realized the surprise, had told him that his ruse had worked brilliantly. Never had she expected anything to this effect, and he took great delight in her shock and, more importantly, in her subsequent joy.
She looked quickly to him to smile her delight and appreciation before turning back to the window to give her complete attention to the lovely vistas outside and below. Though it was November, the island was still beautiful and well worth seeing from this perspective, in fact, better, perhaps, since the bare trees revealed more of the landscapes and contours of the island terrain, as well as the flora that was year-round and the wild life, including the birds that had not hid away yet for the winter.
Everywhere they looked there was another marvel to behold, another treasure waiting to unfold before them from the geese flying in formation across the sky, to the deer congregating and then running together on the land of Nantucket that was as unspoiled and preserved as it had been since it was first discovered centuries before.
Kate had always believed flying to be an extraordinary way to view the world. She believed, wholeheartedly, that it was probably the closest humanity could come, apart from a shuttle flight to the moon, to seeing the earth from God's perspective, and so the experience always left her with a sense of the spiritual and transcendent.
On this particular flight, in her awe, she whispered the word "wow" frequently. Neither man may have heard her audible reply, but to Tim, her eyes conveyed everything along with a body posture that placed her on the edge of her seat and made her excitement that much more visible.
In that hour flight, they covered nearly every square foot of the island. Kate's favorite part was as they crossed over the beaches seeing how the water washed upon the shore. Just as she loved it from the ground, from the air, it was as spectacular though more quieting and serene and almost in slow motion, it seemed.
Bill yelled back to them, asking if they'd like to see some of the other islands to which they both responded with a hearty "Yes!" Hence, they flew across the sparkling blue water that day and around the other jewels of the Atlantic.
Due to Tim's uncanny and perfect timing in leading Kate on the wild goose chase earlier in the day, they were in flight and returning towards Nantucket as the sun began to set in the cloudless, western sky.
Because of this remarkable coinciding of circumstances, they were able to witness an exquisitely, unique view of a brilliant island sunset, which was the icing on the cake that topped off the whole ride, spectacularly, as far as Kate was concerned. She knew in that moment that she would never forget the experience as long as she lived!
Once they had touched down and landed, and thanks were exchanged all around, with Bill shaking Kate and Tim's hands and excusing himself from their company for the remainder of the night, Kate sat in Hutch's for dinner with a faint smile on her face as she played with the silverware in front of her.
Grinning, Tim asked, "What are you smiling about, huh?"
Kate looked up at him with a wide, involuntary grin. "You know what! Now I know why you didn't want me to fly over this trip!" Kate exclaimed, having since figured out his whole masterful plan.
"You can fly every time from now on, if you like," Tim interjected, taking a swallow of his beer before him. "But the first time had to be like this."
The grin left Kate's face. "Seriously, Tim, I don't know how I can ever repay you. It's way too generous a gift, though I do really appreciate it, tremendously!"
"No repayment is required," he teased, then added solemnly, "Besides, seeing your reaction was all the thanks I needed." Tim looked her directly in the eye. "You've paid in full."
Kate said nothing though her heart was full of emotion and gratitude for she realized that no one had ever given her such a fantastic, remarkable gift before, and in particular, never had a man done so!
Despite Tim's assurances that she had repaid him, she secretly wished there was another way to show her appreciation, and so she began to wonder or dream up some way. Her mind drew a total blank, but she said a little prayer for the divine inspiration she would need to come up with something equal to Tim's gift to her. As their ordered meals arrived just then, she continued to ponder it in the back of her mind.
Kate floated on a cloud the rest of the evening, and her heart continued to soar all through dinner, then through the movie they had gone to see in town. It dawned on her at the theater how the last occasion she was there, they had sat apart, since they had barely known each other at then, but this had been a weekend of many firsts along with being a time of deepening friendship and admiration.
It had been a weekend Kate would not soon forget as the following day proved further for this time Tim had taken the morning off, had breakfast with her, and driven her to the ferry himself, where he reiterated the need to continue writing him as often as possible.
"I look forward to those letters. So do keep writing!"
"Of, course!" Kate sincerely stated. "How could I not after you've been so good to me?" He smiled, and then she added, "I'll miss you, Tim."
"Thank you!" he responded genuinely surprised. "I'll miss you, too, though April's not so far away." Tim made every effort to sound upbeat and positive. "In fact, it'll be here before we both realize it!"
"I know it," Kate acknowledged though feeling only partially consoled.
"And just remember these times," Tim encouraged, "And they'll get us both through until then."
Now it was Kate's turn to smile, and before she could answer, Tim put his arms around her and hugged her close to him. It was the third hug in just as many days, but hey, who was counting! They embraced as two friends would who were parting with the knowledge that it would be a while until their next meeting, that time and distance would soon engulf them, once again.
Tim then helped Kate to the boarding ramp with her travel bag and handing it to her, they stood facing each other one final time. Not wanting to prolong the painful parting any longer than necessary, Kate headed up the ramp, giving him a quick wave as she started.
Several times she turned and looked back over at him down on the dock. It took her time to climb to the upper deck, and she wondered if he would still be in the same position as she had left him, but when she reached the top deck and hurried to the front of the ferry, she looked down relieved to see that he was still there. Kate knew she should never have doubted him, that he had, in fact, not budged one step from his place except to edge closer.
Faced with the sight of him standing there, Kate was struck with the sudden awareness of the familiarity of the scene compared with the first time she had left the island. The only difference, she realized, as the boat chugged out of the harbor and across the sound, was that this time she felt a great lump in her throat and a tremendous heaviness in her heart when at last Tim was out of her line of vision and out of sight.
17: April Comes Again~XVII~
THE months passed and the seasons changed in their inevitable, reliable pattern as fall gave way to winter, and winter became spring again, and just as Tim had predicted, April was upon them before either knew it. Kate could scarcely believe how time had flown, but for once, she was thankful for its expediency.
In the months prior to the happy month of April, Kate had kept busy with writing Tim, as well as sending little gifts. For Christmas, she had sent him a brass ornament depicting doves carrying garland, a symbol of peace and hope for eternity, along with a compact disc of some of her favorite classical music, in which she included a note that read:
This perfectly exemplifies our flight of fancy this past November when we took to the air. I hope listening to this will bring back the most pleasant of memories, as it has for me.
Tim sent word that the music so completely did just that. So much so, in fact, that when he closed his eyes to listen, particularly to one piece called Morning, he occasionally had to open them to remind himself that he was still on the ground and not in the air with Kate again.
For his part, Tim sent her two whimsical little gifts to remind her of their time together. One was a model Cessna that he had received from Bill for kicks. He passed it onto Kate with this note:
Though I realize that you are not a boy with a boy's hobby such as airplane model building/collecting, nevertheless, I send this with the hope that each time you look at it, you will recall what fun we had together that day along with the sheer whimsy of our little adventure…
Tim also included in the Christmas package a pendant he had crafted and created in glass depicting a bird in flight etched in its smooth surface. He elaborated about the unusual gift further in his note:
We were like birds that afternoon last November with our wings in flight as we soared above the clouds, wouldn't you agree? Let this be another reminder lest you forget, which judging by your reaction that day, I'm sure you never will!
Kate was charmed by both gifts and wore the one faithfully and displayed the other proudly. She also began working on a story to give him for a future gift. Actually, she determined that it would be more like a tribute paper, not quite poetry, more like prose, but still very much with a lyrical quality that she hoped would enchant and move him. She was taking the excerpts straight from her own journals to use as a basis for the paper that was not complete as yet, but would be perhaps one day when he least suspected it. Then she would spring it on him. As for now, however, it was not ready for her next trip, which was suddenly upon her.
Tim had urged her this time to come the last weekend of April or Daffodil Weekend, the time when the Daffodil Festival was held on the island. At first, Kate had frowned upon this idea, as she knew the event would draw big crowds, and being that she hated hordes of people, Kate felt it best to stay away. Tim, however, persisted and won his case as he convinced her that she would want to see the event at least once, and why not now with him.
She relented, and being that her room rate had miraculously not been affected that greatly, as a result, she thought it might not hurt to see what the festival was all about. Besides, Tim had reassured her that if the crowds became too much for her, he would whisk her away with as much haste as possible to a quiet place. Kate speculated the place to be his home, which she might have figured right, except that Tim had something else in mind, which he would reveal later on.
Kate booked her reservation in January, which was in plenty of advance time. She would be flying to the island this time, now that Tim had given her the gift of her first flight over Nantucket with him. Though the flight over was great, and Kate marveled at how quick, less than forty-five minutes in sharp contrast from the all day affair by bus and ferry, it still could not compare to the one they had shared together.
By the time Kate's plane touched down on the island, from her window, Kate could see Tim already waiting for her in the terminal baggage area for her gate. It had been a harried, frantic day, as she had chosen to work that day and leave right after for the airport, but this was now her reward, the balm that would soothe her ruffled spirit.
As Kate stepped inside the terminal, Tim was already before her. Face to face, they stood for a moment taking the sight of each other in until at last, he took her bag from her, threw it down, and gave her a hearty hug.
"It's so good you're here! I've missed you, Kate," Tim confessed with some depth of emotion, betrayed in his otherwise steady voice.
Kate felt overwhelmed for an instant, then managed to reply as he held her tight, "I've missed you, too."
Tim pulled away, held her at arm's length, and smiled, gratified. Then picking up her bag again, they were off. He quickly made a stop at her inn, once again the Perwinkle, since it was always the most affordable for Kate. Then following checking her in and dropping off her bag, they fled for dinner, returning to the Jared Coffin house where they had had dinner her first night on her November visit. It was quiet, suitable for talking as opposed to the Rose & Crown or the Atlantic Café, where they ended up afterwards for a late night drink following their late night dinner.
They capped off the night with a leisurely walk around town and down by the wharves, particularly, Straight Wharf, where they watched the final ferry of the night come in with a moon breaking through the clouds. There was a gentle breeze blowing and everything was so quiet and peaceful, the only sound being the ferry scraping against the dock pylons as it moored, and even that seemed muted. For the moment, Kate believed life couldn't get any more perfect than this, and she was very contented.
However, though Kate was exhilarated to be on the island again and very excited, she was drained, nonetheless, from a full day's work along with the travel. Noticing this, Tim dropped her off early, teasing her that she would need all her strength and rest to do battle with the crowds the next day at the Daffodil Festival.
Despite being tired, Kate still managed to lay awake for a time reflecting on their first evening together. It had passed so quickly, as she knew the whole weekend would, though she tried not to think about that aspect.
Dinner had been nice because she and Tim had been one of the few parties still left in the dining room. Just as the first time they had dined there, it was elegance bar none, and Kate had been very pleased. More intimate a setting than she was accustomed to, she, nonetheless, found it conducive to conversation, which there always was plenty of between them and in no short measure. Tim had contributed his share as he regaled Kate with stories of some of the more unusual tales from his shop and life on the island during the past winter.
While she lay in bed, Kate found herself laughing again as she recalled some of the best episodes. She fell asleep happily satisfied with the beginning of the weekend and wondering what tomorrow would bring.
Tim had chosen to close his shop the following day despite the potential business he might lose. He wanted to take part in showing Kate the Daffodil weekend activities in full swing, as this was her first island festival. Hence, very early the morning of, he picked Kate up, and they had breakfast together at their old standby, the Fog Island Café.
The parade of antique cars was first on the agenda followed by a huge tailgate picnic in which everyone was a part. As it turns out, many other merchants had decided to close their doors to business that day, as well, so that they would experience the day in full.
Hours passed like minutes as they always did in Kate's mind, and she, who normally didn't relish crowds, had to admit to herself that she rather enjoyed this island event. Then again, she enjoyed most anything so long as Tim was around.
When they had experienced their fill of food and daffodils, and as things were winding down by the late afternoon, Tim announced that he had another surprise.
"Weren't you full of them last time?" Kate asked shocked, struggling against the crowds that were dispersing, and trying hard to stay next to Tim.
"Well, I have been told I am full of something from time to time," Tim replied tongue in cheek, looking down at Kate with a grin.
"C'mon, then, show me your surprise!" demanded Kate as she tugged at his arm.
"I have to take you there," Tim hinted, being mysterious again, just as before.
"Well, do you want to blindfold me?" Kate joked as she looked up at him, studying his face, which was staring ahead as he thought for a moment.
Wickedly, he turned to her and commented upon reflection, "That might be fun, but some other time. I want you to enjoy the ride today." Then he guided her out of the remaining spectators to his Explorer parked not far away.
They were off on another jaunt on a road Kate thought she knew by now, the Milestone Road, but before she could pass a remark, Tim had turned onto a side road that seemed to go nowhere except through brush. Finally, she inquired studying her surroundings, "Where is this surprise of yours you're taking me to?"
"Be patient, we're almost there," came the abbreviated answer. "Very, very soon," he said almost in a whisper as he kept his eyes glued to the road while navigating the twists and turns.
Kate watched him as he concentrated. She noted that he seemed almost to be looking for something. She also took notice of the sky around them, careful to observe the different shadings as day turned into evening. "It's a beautiful night! The sunset is going to be incredible!"
"Hmmm," he simply grunted.
"Don't you want to go to Madaket?" Kate asked upset that she might miss possibly her only chance to see a Madaket sunset this trip. His answer astounded her.
"I've got something better in mind," he informed her as suddenly he pulled off the road onto an inlet and stopped the car.
Kate looked to him questioningly. The place looked like no man's land, and she was beginning to get annoyed to be missing a glorious ocean sunset for what seemed a pile of sand and sage which was all she could see around them.
"C'mon," Tim enthused getting out of the car.
Kate moved more slowly contemplating what he might have up his sleeve. She knew she should trust him, but she just couldn't fathom what he could show her that could top the Madaket Beach at sunset.
Tim walked to a hill a short distance away. Kate hadn't noticed the hill at first as it sort of blended in with the surroundings. She watched him walk over to the foot of the little mount, turn and wait for her to join him. Again, he urged, "C'mon." Kate obliged though she felt foolish. The small mound looked like a gargantuan anthill to her.
When they were side by side at the base of the thing, he smiled at her momentarily as if he was in possession of some great secret. Then he began his ascent. Kate followed along trustingly, hoping that whatever it was he wanted to show her would be worth it. Tim was ahead of her a little ways, but he waited for her to catch up at different intervals. When he saw she was within a few feet of him, he would turn and begin to climb again, leaving Kate to trail behind.
Though it had not looked like much from the ground, Kate being out of shape, still found it trying to climb and had to struggle to keep up. At one point, even muttering to herself as she huffed and puffed, What is he doing to me now?
The positive aspect to the climb was that it was over quickly. Within minutes, Tim had reached the summit, and as Kate neared the top with great effort, he held out his hand to her. Breathless, she took it and allowed him to pull her up the rest of the way.
Kate had wondered a moment ago what Tim was trying to do to her; was he trying to kill her by forcing her to climb this small mountain, but when at last she had reached the summit, too, she knew when faced with the sight suddenly before her. Involuntarily, she inhaled and slapped a hand to her forehead as she stepped in a complete circle in an attempt to take in the scene all around them. Then she came to rest at the point straight ahead of the path they had climbed, and Tim was right beside her.
As far as the eye could see in the distance was ocean stretching beyond them for miles and miles, and before that, moors, as vast and far reaching as the panorama of the sea and appearing as endless as the sky. The moors and sea seemed almost to meet, but Kate realized this was simply an illusion created by the height at which they were viewing the extraordinary landscape of nature.
The moors were perhaps most astounding as they surrounded in every direction the tiny mount they were perched on. In Kate's eyes, they appeared to be different colors though it was spring; perhaps because the tiny buds of each small bush were beginning to sprout to life, and the effect created a great burst of lively color and shading.
The sun had begun to set and had shed its reddening colors across the land and sea creating an even more spectacular scene. Kate wondered why she hadn't noticed her surroundings before they had reached the mount, but she now knew that Tim had brought her to this spot for the best view of the land he loved so much.
They were both silent for a time, just taking in the beauty before and around them. Finally, Kate still holding her breath, exhaled slowly, and Tim, turning to her, remarked, "Welcome, to Altar Rock!"
Kate turned to face him suddenly, her eyes registering her surprise and shock that he had remembered her mention of it the year before. It had only been in passing, but he had made it a point to hold that information in the back of his mind until the right time. First, he had surprised her with the plane ride in November and now with this.
Because Kate was momentarily speechless, Tim continued, "Well, you had mentioned wanting to see Altar Rock last year."
"And you remembered," Kate commented as she returned to gazing from their perfect vantage point upon the Rock.
"Of course! It wasn't difficult," Tim assured her as he watched her enjoyment of one of his favorite places. He had taken great pleasure in studying her initial reactions from the first upon his unveiling of this latest surprise. Because Kate was so expressionistic a person, he was able to see her successive emotions of surprise, turn to amazement, and then evolve into joy, all played out upon her facial features before his eyes. The effect was a tremendous uplift to him that brought the sweetest satisfaction and greatest gratification that he could have hoped for.
Still absorbed in the beauty around them, Kate took a step forward. A step in any direction mesmerized, but especially one forward as it was the most spectacular ocean vista Kate had ever witnessed on the East Coast, or for that matter, on the West, for it appeared boundless, as she marveled.
Tim answered her unspoken question, "This is the highest point on Nantucket. Granted that it's not very high, but it does have a view," he grinned as he made the understatement using one of her favorite sayings.
"Fantastic!" Kate uttered. She wondered all around the circumference of the rock, taking in the view from each direction, until she came to stand besides Tim again.
"You have a great view of the moors here as well," he pointed out as he gestured across the vastness of terrain in front of them. "I like to come out here and spend an evening at sunset just walking and thinking," confided Tim. "It's great in the morning, as well. Sometimes, I come up here early before breakfast before I have to open the shop, and just take it all in," he shared. "It's a great place to meditate."
"It's fantastic!" Kate repeated, feeling utterly inadequate to describe the picture fully or her feelings about this latest gift of Tim's to her, but she attempted to do so. She turned to him and said in a soft voice full of gratitude, "Thank you, Tim. Thank you for sharing this with me."
Her graciousness stunned him to the depth of his very soul as he replied simply yet with a heart full of affection and admiration, "You're welcome! I knew you would enjoy it. You have a great appreciation for nature and its beauty." Kate nodded and Tim continued, "I was pretty certain you wouldn't mind missing a Madaket sunset one time for this." He looked at her knowingly.
"God no! This was definitely worth it - incredibly!" Kate concluded, as she looked at Tim amazed. "You are always surprising me. One of these times I'm going to surprise you!" she warned him.
Tim laughed softly and responded, "I like surprising you, Kate. You're reactions are always … interesting, shall we say."
He had chosen his word carefully, and Kate knew it and defended herself admirably, "Well, who wouldn't react? I mean look at it!" She gestured towards the sky and around them as the sun sinking behind the horizon turned the scene from first pink, then orange, and finally, to a brilliant scarlet hue.
Kate continued, "It's God's canvas. He's the master artist, and He's painted us a beautiful picture!" she said jubilantly and with much awe.
Unaware even of her own intensity and emotion, Kate stood oblivious as Tim said more to himself than to her, "See, that's what I mean, the way you see things."
Earlier he had been observing the scene with her, but now he was just observing her. He bent down to the ground and picking up a piece of heather that had blown from its stem, he straightened up and handed it to Kate. "Here, take a part of the Moors back with you. It's not against the law to take the stuff that's blown free of the roots," he explained.
Taking it from him, Kate smelled its delicate scent still faintly evident though it was no longer alive. She held onto it as if he had given her a precious rose or some priceless gem.
Buoyantly, Tim remarked, "I always felt this would be a great spot to fly kites!" Kate's face lit up even more, if that was possible. "But," continued Tim, "It's against the preservation codes to walk off the paths. So kite flying is left for the beaches so the flora here will be undisturbed."
"Mmmm," Kate murmured, "That makes sense, but what fun to fly a kite!"
Tim agreed, "Yeah, I haven't done it since I was a boy, and Madaket is a great place for them since the wind is so strong."
Kate reflected thoughtfully a moment on his words, then tucking an idea in the back of her mind for a later date, she changed the subject by asking in jest, never expecting an answer, "So what other surprises do you have in store for me this weekend?"
"Just one," Tim stated simply.
"Which is?" Kate pressed him further.
"Just a party," Tim announced. "C'mon!"
Before she could register her genuine surprise, Tim grabbed her by the hand and began to lead her down Altar Rock, suddenly and without warning. Kate almost lost the heather in the sudden yank that propelled her forward. As Tim tore down the hill, forcing Kate to follow behind, she yelled out. "Wait a minute!" Tim halted, and turning to look at her, she asked breathlessly, "What kind of party?"
"Just a birthday party," he responded innocently as he turned forward, and not letting go of Kate, began his wild descent once again.
Long since, the sun had disappeared, and dusk had settled, but Kate could still clearly see him as she yelled again, yanking on his arm, "Wait!" Once more, Tim, stopping in his tracks, turned to face her half way down the hill, and still holding her hand as she struggled for breath, she asked him, "Whose?"
"Mine," he remarked casually. "Now c'mon! Don't want to be late for my own birthday party!" Tim stated jauntily.
Before Kate could even think or reply, Tim had turned away and was heading down the hill once again, with her in tow. She followed along obediently, and without much choice, letting him lead the way. Once at the bottom, however, Kate broke free of him and marched to the car. Tim, for his part, was amused, as always, by her antics.
Both got in the Explorer, and Tim, starting it up, began to drive. As yet, Kate said nothing, but he knew it was just a matter of time. She appeared sullen and flummoxed and stared straight ahead. Tim waited for her to speak. Perplexed, she turned and finally asked, "Is today your birthday?"
"No, tomorrow is, but they thought tonight would be a better time to get together being a Saturday and all."
"Who are they?" demanded Kate.
Tim instantly obliged. "Just a few friends, no big deal. I called it a party, but really it's just a few people getting together for a couple of drinks. No big deal," he repeated, shrugging his shoulders.
Kate was silent for a moment as he drove. Then she asked another question sorting through the mystery in her mind. "So last year, we had met just a week before your birthday, and you sent me a gift for my birthday but made no mention of yours?"
"One thing has nothing to do with the other," Tim corrected her. "Last year you were here a week earlier, and the subject never came up, so that was that, but as a note of interest, at the time, I did give you my age, if you remember, and I gave you the age I was about to become." He glanced her way to see if she was still with him. She was, staring blankly at him.
"Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?" Kate implored.
"I did just tell you."
"No, I mean before now, like last night or in one of your letters!" Kate exclaimed exasperated.
"You never asked," Tim replied succinctly and politely.
Kate began to brood, kicking herself for being so oblivious and unaware. "I should have asked," she said regretfully. Tim said nothing, and Kate annoyed with herself, remonstrated, "I can't believe I didn't ask!"
"Don't beat yourself up about it, Kate! It's really no big deal," Tim assured her.
"No, I'm just totally caught off guard and unprepared," sighed Kate dismayed.
"Unprepared for what?" asked Tim unmoved by her plight. "What's there to be prepared for? You just walk in with me, meet a few of my friends, and then the rest is as easy as punch. They buy us a few drinks, and we just enjoy!" he concluded cheerily.
Kate stared at Tim in disbelief. "You mean you - they buy you a few drinks!" she corrected him.
"Look, you're with me, aren't you?" He glanced at her quickly to catch her nod reservedly. Tim chuckled to himself. "They'll buy for us, okay? So relax."
"That's easy for you to say," Kate replied unconvinced. "You know these people; I don't! I don't do well in these types of situations, Tim," she warned him.
"You'll be fine. I'll be right there with you. You don't have to do a thing. It'll be easy. Trust me," said Tim in his mildest voice and most reassuring manner.
As usual, he spoke so convincingly and with such confidence that Kate couldn't help being won over. She began to brighten a bit. Trying to look on the positive side, which in her mind was that she would be by Tim's side, and that gave her all the confidence she would need or so she thought as she asked, "Well, where are we meeting them at least?"
"The Rose & Crown," Tim replied quickly, happy to see her beginning to relax and trust.
"Oh, good, at least I'll know the place," she breathed a sigh of relief.
Tim gave her a quick look as he jokingly responded, "See, things are looking better already!"
Kate almost believed it. The Rose & Crown Pub had been the site of their first meeting though they had not ever spoken a word that night. It had all been in glances or more aptly, glares, on her part. Well, at least, I'll feel comfortable with the place, thought Kate, for she liked the easy, casual atmosphere of the establishment. When they pulled up alongside the pub, Kate noticed that there didn't seem to be many cars around, and she relaxed even more.
Tim, taking the keys out of the ignition, turned towards her and resting his arm on the back of the passenger's seat, winked in a devilish way, "Are you ready?"
Kate, drawing a short breath and letting it out, answered, "Let's go. I think I'm ready for just about anything now!"
Raising an eyebrow at her skeptically, Tim responded with utmost glee, "Good! I'll keep that in mind for later."
He got out of the car just then, leaving Kate to wonder what he meant and causing her to regret that she had ever said anything at all!
18: The Birthday~XVIII~
TIM held the door for Kate as they stepped into the Rose & Crown, and almost immediately, she was relieved to see that there were very few people around at this hour in the restaurant area. There were more congregating around the bar, but Tim headed towards some tables in the back of the establishment behind the dance floor; in the process, they passed the tables nearest the front window where they had originally spied each other that very first night of her visit one year before.
Kate followed Tim to two tables where five or six people were gathered, including the waitress who had just walked away having filled their first order. A few of them called his name, and he waved and responded back. As usual, his greeting was cordial, "Hi, guys!"
Relieved, Kate breathed easier seeing that it was a small group after all. Immediately, Tim began the introductions.
"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Kate." He placed one arm around her back and a hand on her shoulder as he steered her to the group seated before.
"Hello," they began to chime one on top of the other, some standing to shake her hand.
Then Tim indicated the group, "Kate, this is everyone."
He gestured first to a tall man in the back that looked somehow familiar to Kate though she couldn't recall from where.
"You remember Bill there, pilot of our infamous flight?" Tim reminded her as he gestured to the lanky man seated, who looked vastly different in casual attire and away from his plane.
Suddenly, it all came back to Kate, and she responded heartily, glad that, at least, she knew one person other than Tim. "Of course, how could I forget!" acknowledged Kate.
Bill smiled generously and noted, "Tim says you flew this time, over from Providence."
"Yes, but it wasn't quite as sublime as our flight with you," replied a gracious Kate.
"Thank ya," said Bill, giving her a winning smile, which the others around the table quickly shared.
Then Tim gestured to the others. "This is Mary, who runs the gallery a few doors down from me, her husband Steve." They both nodded and smiled. Tim continued without missing a beat, "This is Dan who is a real estate agent on the island. In fact, he is the one who helped me to acquire my little castle."
The man and Tim both chuckled knowingly, then Dan smiled at Kate and asked, "How do you do?" to which Kate smiled and nodded back.
Finally, Tim pointed to the last person at the table, a short stout man on the far end, who was waiting patiently for his turn. "And this is Johnny. He brings me my supplies from the main land on the ferry. He doesn't actually live on the island."
"No, it's too expensive for my blood," Johnny said in what Kate thought was the faintest of Irish brogues. He waved to her pleasantly.
Tim concluded, "Well, that's everybody." Then switching gears, he exclaimed, "Let's have a drink!" Dan called the waitress over again.
Seating Kate first and then himself, Tim turned to her and asked, "What should we have, Kate? Irish coffees, a bottle of wine, couple of beers or cocktails?"
Kate noticed that his eyes were positive pools of merriment. He was enjoying every moment of her predicament as well as loving the fact that he was putting all the attention on her as each one at the table waited for her response. As coolly as possible and as diplomatically, Kate replied, "It's your birthday, you choose."
"Bring us two Irish coffees, both decaf," he announced to the waitress who had been standing by patiently. As she left with their order, Tim remarked, "Recalling the first drink we ever shared together." He glanced sidelong at Kate, who smiled shyly.
The waitress brought their drinks posthaste, and Kate was thankful to have something to occupy herself with, as conversation with complete strangers was never her forte, especially idle chatter. As a rule of thumb, she was better with people she knew well.
Here, however, was Tim sitting besides her, who in their first five minutes of meeting had broken that rule for her, and it had not been painful nor difficult as it usually was for her making new acquaintances. Then again, he had made the first move. Kate wasn't about to make the first move with this group. So instead she sat dumbly by as the friends discussed business, island news, and the economy in quick succession.
Tim kept one eye trained on Kate the bulk of the time, and realizing her discomfort, even when different ones asked questions of her drawing her into conversation, he began to formulate a new plan.
As the group of old friends talked amongst each other, Mary, turning to Kate, said, "This is your third time to the island, Tim tells us. I guess you must like it to keep coming back."
"Oh, yes, I do! If I could afford to, I'd live here," answered Kate honestly.
"Tim says you're a receptionist in a bank. There are a few banks here you could try to get a job at," Mary suggested pleasantly.
"Yes, but few places to live that are affordable," ventured Kate.
"You said it, Kate!" piped up Johnny, as one who could ill afford to live on the island on his modest delivery man's pay.
Mary, turning back to Kate, offered a hope that Tim had once alluded to, "Well, maybe your circumstances will change."
Kate nodded at Mary's cheerful countenance. Then she glanced at Tim who had been unusually silent during the proceeding. He was looking down, apparently, deep in thought.
Some music had begun to play over the speakers, and a few couples from the bar began to dance while the little group with Tim and Kate continued their conversations – Dan, Mary, and Steve in one little cluster, and Johnny and Bill in another. After a time, Bill left to use the restroom.
Tim turned to Kate and asked concerned, "I hope you haven't been too uncomfortable?"
"No, I have my drink to make me more comfortable," joked Kate.
"I forget that they're my friends and not yours, but they're willing to be yours as well," stated Tim sincerely.
"I know," Kate assured him, "I sense that, and they have been very friendly to me. It just takes time, Tim, and I'm afraid I'm a slow starter." She managed a slight smile.
"It's okay," he interjected with a lopsided grin. "What's important is that you're here."
Kate shook her head still stymied. "I just can't believe it's your birthday! I'm so clueless sometimes."
"Technically, it's tomorrow," Tim corrected.
"How old are you again?" inquired Kate.
"I told you when we first met. Don't you remember?" he teased her.
Kate did remember, but she wanted him to say it. "Tell me again."
Tim complied, "I'll be forty-five tomorrow. How old are you?"
"You know!" Kate scolded.
"Tell me again," he urged.
"I'll be thirty-eight."
"Geez, is that old!" Tim joked, and Kate punched him lightly on the arm.
"So tomorrow is really the big day?" Kate continued.
"Yep, and I have you all to myself for that, right?" Tim reminded her.
"Sure, whatever you want," Kate graciously offered.
Tim lit up. "Really?" he asked, looking genuinely surprised. "Whatever I want?" he repeated.
"Of course! You've been so good to me. Whatever I can do, I'm willing," Kate stated as she took a sip of her drink.
Tim sat amazed. "Wow!" he remarked like a boy getting his first big birthday gift. "Anything, huh?"
Kate didn't know how to make it any clearer for him, so she reiterated, "Sure…anything." Then as an afterthought, she added, "Within reason."
Tim chose to ignore the last and focused on the first as they both heard a new song begin to play, a Lee Ann Womack song. "I'm glad to hear you say that because I want to dance! So c'mon." Tim stood and reached for Kate's hand.
"What?" Kate's face registered first her shock, then her composure, and finally decisiveness as she pulled her hand away. "No, I don't dance. Sorry, I can't do that!"
"Uh-uh," countered Tim. "You can because you just said you'd do anything!" He was speaking very loudly as the music had grown louder, and their small group, which had been oblivious until now, was at once very much aware of the small fray that was beginning between Tim and Kate.
"Anything within reason!" Kate reminded him, enunciating each word very carefully so there would be no doubt.
"No, Kate!" hollered an unrelenting Tim to be heard over the din. "You can't start putting conditions on your promises. You said anything, and I want to dance. So let's go before the song is over!" He was adamant and stood his ground, but Kate was also undeterred.
"No, I can't dance, I won't do it, so don't ask me again!" She shouted, glaring up at Tim who stood before her waiting.
"You can with me! So c'mon!" He looked around the place briefly as if he were mapping it out.
"No, really, I can't…"
Before Kate could finish her statement, Tim, turning back to her, had grabbed her hand and jerked her from her seat, pulling her towards the dance floor in one swift, blurred movement. She would have tried to break free were she not so startled, but he never gave her a chance as he dragged her along behind him, nearly causing her to lose her balance in the process.
After all their arguing and then trying to reach the dance floor, one verse of the song had already finished and the chorus was blaring away. Tim turned Kate towards him, suddenly, and her worst fears were realized as in that second she felt all eyes in the place on them, but she was even more afraid of what he would do next.
Letting go of the hand he had been holding, Tim reached around her back instead while reaching with his other hand for hers to hold in his. There was no mistaking the shiver he felt go through Kate when he touched her or the look of fear and panic in her eyes. She stood before him dumbfounded, off her guard, and in strange territory, unsure of herself and him. Tim knew the combination frightened her, but that was part of his plan as in the blink of an eye, he pulled Kate closer to him so that they were now only inches from each other, surprising her further as was evident when she let out a little cry. Studying her face for a moment and the terror in her expression, he then whisked her across the dance floor, guiding her every step of the way.
So many emotions assaulted Kate all at once. She had difficulty trying to assimilate any of them. First, she was, unusually, physically close to him, and this intimate a stance in such tight proximity had her anxious and flustered to the point that she felt her mouth go dry and her heart pounding so hard in her chest that she could feel it vibrating in her ears, as it frequently did when she was nervous and felt on display.
Secondly, she truly did not know how to dance, having never acquired that particular skill, and never having danced with a man in this way before, brought all her feelings of inadequacy to the fore. Thirdly, she didn't like being the center of attention, as she now felt certain she was, glancing around the room to see Mary, Steve, Dan, and Johnny staring at her and Tim. Bill now emerged from the restroom to watch them also, causing Kate to wish he had stayed in the restroom. Their small group was smiling, as were others, total strangers from the bar who had moved from their perches for a closer look.
Kate fought her cottonmouth and found voice enough to protest to Tim, "I wish you hadn't done that!" She swallowed hard as he looked at her, and she continued, "You shouldn't have done that! I don't know how to dance!"
Tim grinned and practically shouted, "You're doing it!" Then quieter he asked her, "It's not so difficult, is it?"
She looked away, around the room, nervous as ever. Kate didn't answer his question, instead changing the subject since she had become aware that they were the only ones on the dance floor now. "There's no one else dancing!" she expressed alarmed.
"Good!" yelled Tim, "That leaves more room for us."
Kate ignored him, observing further with increasing concern, "They're all staring at us!"
"They probably wish they were us," remarked Tim as he whirled her around the room.
Suddenly, Kate thought of a new tact. "I feel dizzy," she mentioned, hoping he would stop, but his single word response was not what she wished.
"Excellent!" Tim exclaimed.
Kate continued different tactics, praying that one would work and convince him to give up the game. "Shouldn't we stop soon? We've left all your friends."
Tim laughed on the inside at her ploys to get him to quit, but his voice was serious on the outside as he spoke. "They'll wait, and nope, we're not stopping, not until the song is over."
"Oh, great!" moaned Kate in her misery, realizing it was no use. The man was determined. She might as well accept her fate just as when they had first met; he would have his way.
Lee Ann Womack's song After I Fall was playing. It was the music they had been dancing to the whole time, but now Kate could hear the words of the refrain for the first time, and she thought to herself how true the lyrics were, and they scared her as well. During the musical interlude, she whispered emphatically, "I wish this song would end!"
"Why?" asked Tim. Without waiting for an answer, which was more a glare than anything, he added playfully, "I'm thinking maybe we should dance to another after this."
"No!" The force and quickness of her answer surprised Kate as much as Tim as she suddenly looked up at him to see his laughing eyes. Realizing his amusement at her predicament of being held captive, she pulled back and confronted him, "You think this is real funny, don't you?"
"In a way," Tim answered honestly and directly. "I have noticed one thing… you're shaking."
"I'm terrified!" responded Kate, equally honest and direct.
"Of me?" asked an innocent Tim.
"When you pull crazy stunts like this, YES!" admitted Kate.
Ignoring her remark, Tim pressed her deeper for the truth. Slowly and deliberately, he asked, "Or are you afraid of you? Afraid you'll fall?" He looked Kate straight in the eye, waiting for her answer.
Kate wondered at the possible double meaning of his inquiry. The song was nearing its climax as they continued moving across the floor. For a second, she almost forgot where they were. Kate said nothing for a moment as she stared back at Tim's searching expression, unsure how she should take his meaning or how she should answer. Then deciding to respond to the obvious first interpretation of his question, somewhat lightheartedly and smartly, she exclaimed, "Yeah, flat on my face!"
Tim studied her eyes for something more. Taking a breath, he pulled her once more to him. This time even closer than at the start as he whispered in her ear, "Don't worry, Kate." Then after a pause, he added, "I've got you."
She couldn't see his eyes as he continued the dance though the song was nearly over. She leaned into him, laying her chin against his shoulder and feeling that his words were certainly true in one sense or another, which left her still wondering at their meaning and more frightened than ever.
Later that night, after the festivities had ended, and Tim had dropped her off at the inn and said good night, after Kate had lain awake into the wee hours of the night, fretting at the recent events, she finally passed into a deep slumber. She dreamt fancifully, as she always did when in the heaviest period of sleep right before waking. It was one of the sweetest, loveliest dreams she would ever recall.
Her subconscious had transported her to a beautiful hall made of marble, something she had never experienced or seen in her waking hours. The outer edge of the room was undefined as things sometimes are in dreams. It was a place she did not recognize; certainly, a place she had never been before, a place of watercolor blue skies and gold ornamentation.
She was dressed in a way she had never been before, in a beautiful evening dress with her hair done in the most flattering upsweep. From the outer edges of the dazzling hall, she watched as the courtiers and lovely ladies brushed by in a grand waltz. Then from across the room, she spotted Tim, emerging from the mist, unrecognizable at first in coat and tails, yet so striking and every bit as elegant as she.
They walked slowly towards each other, and then he led her out onto the marble dance floor as the other parties disappeared from their sight, and together they danced exquisitely and with abandon across the marble expanse.
There were no voices, no noise, and no sounds, except the whimsical music that guided their steps as if they were on air. Music and dancing filled the whole dream until at last it slowed, and Tim and Kate came to a standstill. Holding hands, they stood facing each other, leaning towards each other until they were just about to kiss when abruptly a screeching, bleeping intrusion penetrated Kate's subconscious, sending her bolt upright in the bed.
As she looked about the room and its familiar surroundings, she sat trying to gain her senses. The culprit still blared next to her. She reached for the alarm clock and turning it off, she lay back in bed. She felt cheated to have been awakened from such a lovely dream, obviously, the offshoot of her night of dancing with Tim. (Though, by far, they were much better dancers in her subconscious than in reality.) Still, she knew and understood the cause but worried about the probable climax of the dream. She muttered to herself, "It wasn't real."
Kate was relieved but somehow disappointed, as well. Nonetheless, she warned herself aloud, "Don't even go there, Kate!" as she rose to get ready to meet Tim. She went about her morning routine, trying hard to forget the dream. However, due to the fact that she had dreamt so close to waking, and being that it was still so fresh in her mind and so very vivid, she knew all too well from past experience that it would be with her all day.
Therefore, it was really no surprise to her when Tim arrived to pick her up that instead of seeing him in reality, dressed as he was, she visualized him get out of the Explorer and approach in a black tuxedo with tails, white tie, and gloves just as he had appeared to her in her dream. She stared transfixed. Tim, noticing and feeling suddenly very self-conscious, asked, "What is it?"
Kate blinked her eyes and shook her head to shake the image from her mind and instantly it was gone, revealing instead a dumb-founded Tim in his well-worn over jacket, casual pants, and sweater. Tim waited confused but also curious.
"Nothing," answered Kate. "Let's go," she ordered as she hastily climbed into the passenger's side of the vehicle leaving Tim to wonder what had just happened.
He shook his head, grinning and responding, "Yes, Ma'am!" as he climbed into his side and sped off.
They spent his birthday attending Mass together with Kate afterwards expatiating on the virtues of going to church on one's birthday; they had breakfast followed by an early afternoon matinee. After which, they took a picnic lunch to Madaket where they walked the beach arm in arm like two old friends. Because it was a cool April afternoon, they had the beach all to themselves until it was time to make it to the airport for Kate's evening flight home.
Since she had booked the last flight of the evening, there was just enough time to share a quick dinner and a few drinks. As dinner progressed, their spirits diminished. Their time together had seemed so short. The weekend had passed them by all too quickly. A silence fell between them as they stood forlornly at the gate waiting for the boarding call until Tim presented from his pocket a gift for Kate.
It was a crystal angel that he had made. Kate was stunned as she studied it in his hand. Then taking it from him, she remarked, "I don't believe it! This is your birthday, and you give me a gift!"
Tim explained, "For your birthday next month. It's taken me this long to perfect the little devil! Sorry, I mean angel. I didn't have much luck with the first few I tried."
"Thank you," was all that Kate could utter. Her flight was boarding and another Nantucket weekend was about to come to end. Sadly, she realized too late, "I gave you nothing for your birthday," she said with a voice heavy with regret.
Tim instantly brightened. "Yes, you did! You came here to be with me! You spent this time with me. That was the best birthday gift I could have received!"
Kate matched Tim's smile though she was unable to speak for she felt herself choking up. At that point, they embraced and parted suddenly as the final boarding call for her flight was announced. She waved to Tim a good-bye as she headed out onto the tarmac following the others who would be joining her.
The last image Kate had of Tim was of him standing outside the terminal building near the fence. He had mentioned to her earlier that he would wait to see her flight actually take off, and only after knowing she was safely in the air would he then leave the airport. True to his word, she saw him now patiently waiting, waving, and then seconds later he vanished from her view as the plane carrying her away ascended steadily, causing her heart to sink along with the setting sun as dusk settled over Nantucket Island.
19: A Visit To Connecticut~XIX~
AS always, Kate returned to her routine with a certain amount of dismay and resentment. Each time, however, it lessened because her mood was so elated from her time away that the mediocrity of ordinary life became easier to bear or so it seemed to her one day out of the blue. She was grateful for this sudden realization and hoped it would last. People at work had noticed the change in her as well, and the depression that had been so evident a year before had now been born away by a quiet contentment.
Kate spoke about Tim reservedly to others, and that marked a change, as well. For she had learned from past mistakes where her liberal conversations on men had provoked unwanted and not always solicited advice from friends and co-workers who saw it their place or duty to enlighten, protect, and guide her. Kate recognized and appreciated the underlying motive behind their guidance - concern for her, for her well-being, and welfare.
Nevertheless, Kate tried at all costs these days to provide scant little information or specifics that would illicit worry in those closest to her. Somehow, however, it was acknowledged by all who knew Kate that something or someone had happened to her on her few visits to Nantucket, and they all wondered who that someone was.
To Kate's and everyone's surprise, they had their chance to find out when Kate received a phone call from Tim letting her know that he had decided to come for a few days' visit to Connecticut in October. She remembered distinctly the day he called. It was late Sunday afternoon in September, and she had been out on her deck reading a book. The phone rang, she answered it, and the whole conversation was over in five minutes.
To anyone who may have been in the room, it might have seemed an odd call. Kate's responses ran the gamut from excitement at the sound of his voice, "Hi! Wow, how are you?" to listening with rapt interest and answering with quiet murmurs, "Sure, that's great, okay" to at last concluding with, "Okay, see you then, bye." Then as she hung up the phone, Kate aloud said in amazement, "He's coming here," though there was not a single other person to hear it. In her mind, the news was so great that it required saying audibly over and over again as she returned to her deck and her reading.
Tim's plan as he informed her was to come down mid-week and then accompany Kate back to the island. He had also invited Kate's parents to come along, and the incentive for that visit was the foliage of Nantucket along with free accommodations at his home. Kate hoped her mother and father couldn't pass up such an opportunity as everything would be taken care of and being that it was her mother's and Kate's favorite time of the year would make for an even nicer visit.
Since lodging was usually such a large part of the trip and since they wouldn't have to worry about that now, Kate's folks said yes to the plan readily. The only catch was that Tim would be taking the bus down and back, so transportation would still be a consideration, yet a small one in Kate's eyes. Tim's reasoning was that he wanted to experience just once what Kate did her first trips over to the island with the full day of travel as he would be taking the ferry to Hyannis followed by transferring to bus and then to another bus, and then repeating the whole process in reverse on the return trip a few days later.
Kate thought it a peculiar preference, but she appreciated his desire "to share in her pain" as he had worded it. She herself had grown weary of the trek and would have preferred to have flown every time were it not so expensive, but on this trip, she followed Tim's wishes, as it was the least she could do for him.
A month before his arrival, Kate began to plan what they would do his first two days in Connecticut. Now was her chance to show off her home state to best advantage, and Kate decided upon the best attractions or most enjoyable to her that she hoped he would like as well.
The big quandary of his pending visit was where he should stay. Kate felt obliged to offer him a place, since it was only fair after all the kindness he had shown her and in exchange for his offer for the weekend at his own home. She knew, however, that if she had him stay with her at her apartment, then there would be speculation and gossip about them even though it would be unfounded since they were simply friends. Still, people would wonder, Kate realized, and there was no sense in raising eyebrows and causing skepticism.
She would show him the apartment, and they could maybe even have dinner there, but she determined that it would be for the best if he stayed elsewhere. Hence, Mr. and Mrs. Lindstrom agreed that elsewhere would be their home, specifically, the room Kate had occupied the last years he had lived there. The benefit of that would also be the use of one of their cars, which would make it easier for getting around as Kate chose not to drive, for many reasons, one being expense. She, therefore, had to rely on buses even in her home town.
The perfect part of her plan would be that all rumors would be squashed of any possible romantic liaison between them. Nonetheless, Kate still chose to introduce Tim to as many people as she could because she wanted to prove to everyone that they were just friends. Moreover, she wanted to show him off to others because she was proud of him, of the man he was, and of the miracle of the friendship they shared.
With intense anticipation, finally, the date came, and on a Tuesday evening in October, Kate awaited his arrival at the stop where the bus from Providence, Rhode Island would pull in. She was standing on the curb, her parents in their van nearby, also waiting as time ticked by. Kate couldn't help thinking of how hers and Tim's roles were now reversed as she was awaiting his arrival whereas he awaited hers the last two times they had met.
The bus suddenly came into sight, pulling up alongside Kate at the curb, and she stepped back, she felt a sense of relief that their time together was very near now. Passengers began to disembark, and her eyes searched for him anxiously, and then he appeared. Tim caught sight of her immediately and dashed off the bus with a broad smile. She yelled his name and waved. As one of the last riders off the bus, there were a few people ahead of him; he and Kate waited for the people to clear out of the way as they finally met again, standing face to face.
"How are you, Kate?" Tim asked with the greatest sincerity.
"Fine, and you?" She returned his pleasantry.
Then dropping his bag on the sidewalk, Tim reached out to her in a heartfelt embrace and whispered, "It's good to see you again!"
She sunk into his arms and with her head very near his, whispered back, "You, too."
It was an emotional moment for the two of them as it had been almost six months since their last meeting, and although, they always kept in touch through their correspondence and phone calls, it was never the same as being in person face to face. The first initial moments of meeting again always left Tim and Kate a little emotionally spent, but it was worth it for the joy it brought to both.
As Kate began to gain her composure, she marveled, "I can't believe you're really here!"
Tim pulled away from her, staring into her face, and touching her hair, which was always shorter this time of the year, by her choice. "You cut your hair."
Kate reached a hand self-consciously to her hair to feel it as he had, and she replied, "I always do in the fall. You've just never seen me at this time of year."
Tim grinned a wistful little smile as he remarked, "You're a funny girl." He laughed as he reminded her, "Most people cut their hair in the summer, but not you."
"Yeah, I know," said Kate as she grinned back. "I'm different, right?"
"You certainly are, but that's a good thing!" he concluded.
"So, how did you like your little jaunt?" Kate queried him, knowing full well the rigors of the trek from Hyannis.
Choosing his words carefully, Tim began slowly, "Well, let's put it this way…" He picked up his bag with one hand, while dropping his other hand around Kate's shoulder, and they began to walk. He continued thoughtfully, "I don't think I'll be up for it again in the future; once was enough, but now I can totally say I sympathize completely with you! Actually, to put it kindly, I tried to think of it as a great adventure though that didn't really work. So I think I can honestly say after this trip, my days as a bus passenger will be over!"
"I thought you might say that," teased Kate as they walked arm and arm towards her parents' vehicle.
When they had reached the Caravan that was her mom's, Kate opened the sliding door to the back and announced, "Here he is!" Then turning to Tim, Kate made the introductions. "Tim, this is my father, Fred Lindstrom."
"How do you do, sir," Tim said at his cordial best, poking his head inside the van.
Kate's father leaned over the seat to extend his hand. "Good! How are you, young fella?"
"Good!" replied Tim, shaking hands and smiling.
"Hop in, hop in!" gestured Mr. Lindstrom.
Kate and Tim climbed into the van, and then Kate re-introduced her mom. "You remember my mother, Tim, don't you?"
"Of course," responded Tim in his most endearing, gracious tone. "It's nice to you again, Mrs. Lindstrom!"
Mrs. Lindstrom smiled. "Thank you, Tim. You, too, but please remember, you can just call me Erin."
"All right, and I'm glad you haven't forgotten me," remarked Tim amiably.
"How could I when you probably gave us the best tour of our lives and for free, no less!" she reminded him.
"Well, it was all my pleasure."
"Where to?" interrupted Kate's father.
"Dad gets impatient at times," explained Kate as she directed her words to Tim but loud enough so that her father could hear.
"I just like to know where we're going, Doozie, so I can get my bearings here," replied Mr. Lindstrom with a chuckle and a grin.
"Doozie?" An amused Tim mouthed the words to Kate.
Answering his silent inquiry, she elaborated hastily, "It's a family nickname for me." Then directing her attention forward again, she instructed her father, "Head to the marina, Dad. We'll start there." Turning to Tim, Kate informed him, "It's the best our town has to offer. It's nothing like Nantucket Harbor, but I hope you'll like it."
"I'm sure I will, Doozie," Tim stated in severe seriousness but with an evident gleam in his eye.
Kate gave him a warning to watch himself, but her own eyes betrayed her amusement at his calling her by her nickname, and secretly, she didn't mind for it sounded even better when he said it. She had always been crowned with a variety of nicknames her whole life, everything from Kooky Kate to Crazy Kat, to Katemeister. Her latest moniker came from an expression she used on many an occasion: "What a doozie I pulled today," or "that was a real doozie!" After a time, it seemed only natural that the family began to adopt the name for her, and before long, it had stuck. Kate had just finished explaining all this to Tim as they reached their destination.
The restaurant Kate had chosen was right at the town marina overlooking the harbor of where the two rivers of the town converged to form the main river called the Thames. It was an open-air restaurant surrounded by a deck with outside seating. Normally, the place would have been closed for the season following Labor Day, but due to a new chef and under new management, the hours had been extended until the end of October. This proved most fortunate for Kate for it was extremely difficult to find elegant dining in her hometown. Sometimes, they had to drive fifteen or twenty miles to find anything decent and affordable.
Kate related all this to Tim as they were seated. Because the restaurant was mainly for the boaters who docked in the summer, the establishment was now fairly quiet upon Tim's visit with Kate and her parents.
As a result of the cooler, autumn temperatures, the windows, that slid completely open in summer, were now all closed to keep the heat in. They ordered, and then Kate dove right into the proposed itinerary for the next two days, which was all they would have since Friday they were to leave for the Nantucket. Kate had come up with a short list of the sites that would show off the area to the best advantage.
"I think that tomorrow would be a good day to see the museum, visit the park, and then maybe drive down to our beaches, so you can see how Long Island conveniently blocks us in nicely from all the truly great waves," remarked Kate. "You see our ocean here is really more like a mill pond."
"Kate is only satisfied with the biggest waves she can find like in a typhoon," interjected Mrs. Lindstrom.
"No, Ma," corrected Kate, "just like Madaket, that's all." She glanced at Tim, who was seated to her right with her parents across from them. She continued without missing a beat, "Then Thursday, we can head out to the Connecticut River, so you can see that country there and how beautiful it is; then we'll take the riverboat/train ride…"
Tim interrupted, "I never knew there was such a thing as a riverboat train!" He had a twinkle in his eye as he spoke.
"No," explained Kate patiently, "It's a package deal. You take a train ride along the river, and then finish with a steamship ride down the river, see?"
Tim nodded emphatically.
"Then we'll see the castle; that's right, there's a real castle in Connecticut," she answered Tim's wordless question. "Then I suppose we'll have to take him to one of the monstrosities down the road just so he can say he's seen it and been there," concluded Kate semi-disgustedly.
Kate's father spoke up at this juncture. "Kate is referring to our two casinos in the area, one of them the largest in the world. She doesn't like them, but I'll take you there myself, Tim, if you want to see them," he said with a jovial, excited chuckle.
"It might be kind of interesting to just take a look," Tim responded diplomatically and not wishing to offend Mr. Lindstrom, but catching Kate's look of disdain, he changed his mind. "Or we could pass them by all together if you'd rather save them for another time."
Kate compromised. "We'll see if we have the time for I just thought of another place we should go – Harkness Park on the way from the beach, don't you think, Ma?" directed Kate to her mother who was her usual quiet self.
Mrs. Lindstrom barely had a chance to answer as Kate turned to Tim for his approval. "Does that sound all right with you?"
"It sounds great!" Tim enthused, "Only I don't want to wear everybody out." He looked at the three faces at the table all staring at him.
"Well, Ma will be working, and Dad's probably not going to drag himself along. So it will just be you and me, see?" responded Kate.
"I see. I see that the next couple of days are going to be extremely busy!" concluded Tim. "But also very nice," he added with a smile, and Kate smiled in unison. With that, their dinners arrived and were accompanied with much lively chatter and as much knowledge of the area as Kate could conjure up in an hour and a half.
Knowing full well how exhausting the trip from Nantucket could be, they decided to make it an early evening. Her father brought Kate home first, and then she sent Tim along with her parents, but not before he had quickly come in to see her apartment, and as she showed him her little world, he discovered much about her such as her love for religious art, her love of books, her childlike fascination with stuffed animals, and her less than immaculate housekeeping habits, though she had tried to pull the place together before he had arrived in town in order to make the most optimal impression as she could.
Tim pooled all these various impressions together to form the lasting impression that would stay with him for years that her apartment or her world was like her: somehow like that of a little girl's but not entirely. When Kate pointed out to him her little desk (the type found in schools) and the window she loved to reflect and stare out of, he asked curiously, "Is this where you write me?"
Kate appreciated the question and answered him honestly, "Sometimes, but many times I write out on the deck as well as down at the harbor." She laughed, adding, "But I do most of my writing right here in bed."
"Oh?" Tim asked intrigued.
Kate quickly clarified her statement as she ushered him out of the room, "It's the most comfortable place, that's all."
Her father announced that they had better head out, and Kate, who had taken the next three days off from work, sent Tim on his way. "Well, see you tomorrow!" she called out to him as he stepped out the front door of her building to her parents who were already in their van waiting.
"I'll be here!" enthused Tim. Then he kissed her on the cheek as they said their goodnights.
Kate hurried up the stairs and waved goodbye from her bedroom window and watched them drive away as she always did whenever her parents dropped her off at any given time. She worried for a few seconds after they had gone whether she had done the right thing in putting Tim up at her folks. He was an extremely, amiable person but throwing him in with virtual strangers, though he did know her mom from before, still seemed slightly unfair. Kate thought about it for a moment, and then shrugged telling herself that it really was for the best as the two of them staying alone together might be flying right in the face of temptation, and she knew she didn't want to make that mistake.
The next day, true to his word, Tim pulled up bright and early, and they started on their first jaunt. As they had breakfast together at one of her favorite places nearby, she asked how he liked her apartment.
"It's you," he said, "It's definitely you!"
"Which means?" she asked curiously.
"Which means I like it; I like it very much!" In other words, Tim was making a statement as to how much he liked her. His answers never failed to illicit a smile, and this time was no exception; Kate grinned broadly.
After breakfast, giving him explicit directions, she asked him to drive to her old alma mater where they walked the grounds and visited the museum. Being that it was one of the most beautiful high school campuses in the country, let alone in the state, Tim was impressed, remarking that not even Nantucket Town had such an attraction.
At noontime, they returned to the harbor from the night before, but this time on the other side of the river so that Kate could show him where she usually had lunch each day. "This is where I come to get away from the office, to relax, to unwind …"
"…To rejuvenate," Tim finished for her.
"Yes," replied Kate appreciating his understanding.
He looked at her and at the bench, and then asked, "Right here?"
Kate nodded as Tim then sat down and she joined him from what was the best vantage point of the whole harbor. She shared with him, "This is what I love on a perfect day as this, the blue water, sparkling and dazzling in the sun, the boats going by, and the shade of the trees above me. It's just perfect, perfect." She was admiring the surroundings as she did each time she came to this spot, this one spot of her hometown that she loved; Tim admired it with her, but he also admired her for her appreciation of things others might miss or take for granted.
After having spent some time down at the marina, Kate decided it was time to head to the beach in the next town, but not before stopping by her workplace with Tim in tow. She had never dropped by on a day off before, although others, her boss included, would do so from time to time. It had always been for her a golden rule to stay as far away as possible, but she had good reason now to break that rule. This time she was introducing Tim O'Malley to her co-workers, and she didn't want him to leave Connecticut until she had showed him off as her good friend, nothing more.
Kate had mentioned to some degree that she would be stopping by, and when she and Tim finally made an appearance in the early afternoon, they were greeted with plenty of smiles, grins, and inquiring eyes, but he took it all in stride, graciously smiling back and meeting them all. Kate, on the other hand, became exasperated since she had made certain as she introduced him to say, "This is my friend Tim O'Malley from Nantucket." She had given the greatest emphasis to the word friend, and yet, co-workers still made the looks. It infuriated her.
Her fellow employees had said how nice it was to meet Tim. They waved, shook hands, and made polite conversation and inquiries about his stay and their itinerary. "Where are you two off to now?" was one such inquiry.
"The beach, then Harkness," Kate volunteered, but her forwardness did nothing to stem the tide of the blatant amused expressions that were evident on each person they encountered.
"Have a good time," was the final pleasantry as they were leaving, and not until Tim and Kate were in the car did she then fume.
"Did you see that?" she asked, "Did you see what they just did?"
Tim played dumb though he had recognized the behavior as well but was willing to overlook it with detached amusement owing it to human nature. Kate, however, would not overlook it so easily.
"They just can't believe that two people of the opposite sex could be just friends, nothing more! Otherwise, they wouldn't be smirking and carrying on like that!" surmised Kate with an edge of bitterness in her voice.
"You may be right," Tim concurred. "But I wouldn't let it get to you," he said calmly, gently. "People will be people, you know?"
Kate's anger began to dissipate as she listened to his words, which as usual were right. Relenting, she agreed, "Yeah, I suppose."
"Don't let it get to you. Let's just enjoy the rest of our day, okay?" Tim tried to cheer Kate. Seeing that he was having an effect and her smile returning, he decided they were ready to move on. "Now point me in the right direction, Ma'am!" instructed Tim as he looked ahead, gripping the steering wheel in anticipation.
Kate began to laugh, feeling easily more relaxed and happier as he always had that effect on her with his own easiness and calm manner. Soon they were on the road, carefree and content, and that afternoon they drove many places along the shore, getting out, and walking the beaches when they were accessible.
In the evening, they ate along the water again but in a different town, yet, still along the same river as the night before. As the sun set earlier these days, the time was cut short, and before long, it was dark again. There wasn't enough time to show him everything, Kate realized. The other things would just have to wait until his next visit. Tim had enjoyed everything she had managed to share with him the first day, particularly the beauty of the picturesque Connecticut coastal towns so different from his beloved Nantucket but still with a charm all their own.
At dinner that night, Kate got up the nerve to finally ask how staying at her parents was for him. "It's interesting, very interesting," came his reply. "Though I was very tired last night and went to bed very early."
"It's pretty noisy, huh?" asked Kate.
"No, not really. I can tune out a great deal, anyway. Your parents were very accommodating and cordial to me," Tim responded sincerely.
"That's very good," mused Kate, "Because generally they don't like house guests, and they don't take on too many of them either!"
"Well, I do feel honored then!" exclaimed Tim exultantly, sitting up very straight with an elated, exaggerated sense of pride.
Later that evening, Tim dropped Kate off at her apartment. He didn't ask to come up or wait to be asked. It was late or so Kate guessed that the reason. She waved to him from the window as she had the night before as he stayed until she was safely inside.
The following day, Tim once again was by Kate's early to collect her and begin their day's activities, which this day included attending daily Mass. He met her friends at church who greeted him amiably and with interest though not overly or slyly as her co-workers had the day before.
By nine a.m., after breakfast, Kate and Tim were on the road, and she was pointing him in the direction of the Connecticut River Valley where they spent the day enjoying the wonders and beauty that the rich area had to offer. Kate reflected to herself how different the present was from the last occasion she had shared the place years before with another male friend who had fought with her the entire time, ruining the experience and making her life a veritable, living hell. She took stock of the fact that with Tim, life was so different, so pleasant, friendly, soothing, as he was all of these things; therefore, their hours together were a little heaven on earth.
Tim, for his part, was grateful for all Kate was sharing with him. She now was the one enlightening him to her environment and world. He could tell that she reveled in the role, and so he found another reason to take pleasure in her spirit and enthusiasm, which by far was every bit as exhilarating as the actual places they visited on their outings.
Because they had spent two very long and tiring days, they decided to nix the dinner at her place in favor of a family meal with mom and dad and her two brothers, Ben and Josh, both of whom would drop in and then be gone to their own homes. Though a quick visit, Kate made the introductions, nonetheless. As with all aspects of her life, Tim was pleased to meet her younger siblings, as it was a further chance for him to see her in her natural environment, interacting with the family she loved.
To make life easier, Kate had opted to stay at her parents as she had done on earlier trips to save time in the morning and to make things flow a little easier. Tim watched her pack at the apartment and listened with rapt interest to all her ramblings while she went about here and there getting things in order and ready for the upcoming, weekend trip.
Kate often wondered if Tim's remarkable patience would ever break as far as she was concerned or anyone else for that matter. Yet, there was never any indication that it would, for which she was thankful since his patience was one of the things she loved best about him and one of the virtues, which she herself greatly lacked.
Little did she realize, however, while Tim was a master of the art of patience, he was also a master at the art of knowledge, the acquisition thereof, and as such possessed an innate inquisitive nature. Consequently, his favorite subject of study of late might have surprised and shocked Kate, for it was her.
20: Autumn On Nantucket~XX~
THE LINDSTROMS and Tim O'Malley were all up early Friday morning. Ben, Kate's youngest brother, had agreed to drive the foursome to the bus stop that morning since there was no regular parking, as it was not a regular depot but just a stop.
It was going to be a foursome, after all, though it had seemed doubtful at first. A great amount of effort on Kate's, her mother's, and Tim's part was necessary to convince Mr. Lindstrom to make the trip to Nantucket. His reasoning in not wanting to go had everything to do with having grown up on an island off the coast of Maine.
Having lived on a small island most of his young life, Fred Lindstrom assumed, incorrectly, of course, that all islands were boring places with nothing to do. Tim, of the three persuaders, was the one most able to convince Fred otherwise, and this was due mainly to Tim's gracious manner. Because he was so polite and non-pushy, unlike the women, Mr. Lindstrom was won over, even if it was begrudgingly so. Nevertheless, he would be making the trip, this time.
The small group had a quick breakfast together in the town where the bus would be picking them up, and then Ben dropped them off at the stop and waited with them until the bus arrived. There was much hugging and kissing by Kate and her mother of the youngest Lindstrom as if they were going on a very, extended trip and were not expected to see him for quite awhile. Fred Lindstrom just looked at Tim and rolled his eyes at the scene before them. Ben shook hands with Tim. They both added that they hoped to see each other again. Following a pat on the shoulder from Dad, Ben waited until they were all four safely on board as he waved them off. The travel party was on the road within five minutes.
After waving furiously from the window to her brother until he was quickly out of sight as the bus moved away, Kate then turned her attention to Tim, who was seated next to her, with the folks being in the two seats in front of them. Her mother and father were having a little squabble at that precise moment to which Kate remarked to Tim, "Crazy family, huh?"
Tim observed politely with a grin, "A lively one, that's for sure…"
"That's an understatement!" interrupted Kate with a hearty laugh.
"…But," continued Tim unabashed, "An affectionate one."
Kate smiled and agreed, explaining, "And it hasn't always been this way either. I think we were a very unaffectionate family until I moved to California, and then all the emotions and feelings kicked in, and there were lots of hugs and kisses on the day I left Connecticut, as well as each time I returned for a visit and went away again."
"Ah, yes, absence does make the heart fonder," acknowledged Tim.
"You got it!" chimed in Kate. Then a bit more thoughtful, she wondered aloud to Tim, "I guess we seem a bit too much to some people."
Tim studied her facial expression, which appeared a bit sad or drawn. He didn't like seeing her bothered by things, especially what other people thought, as that did seem to come up every now and then. He tried to ease her concerns. "Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. Most passionate people are too much to outsiders."
Kate, surprised at his casual observation, asked, "You think we're passionate?"
Without hesitation, Tim answered, "Oh, yeah, you especially!" Then seeing that she was pleased, he related another character study that he had noted in his days with her and the family, "You're the perfect blend of your parents' personalities: You have your mother's seriousness and affection and your father's sense of humor and fun."
Kate thought so as well and was happy that he could see this as well and after only a few days with them. Still, doubting, she commented, "Well, that can be too much to some."
Tim looked her straight in the eye and declared, "I wouldn't have you any other way."
Kate grinned with satisfaction at his generous compliment. In fact, it was the one comment spoken to her all day that kept her in an elevated, good mood throughout their many hours of travel.
They made their connections without incident, and the ferry ride over was pleasant. The best part was that Kate's father was finally beginning to appreciate the trip as he became fascinated with the steamship ferry and its workings. He studied the ship from one end to the other and took to explaining to Kate, Erin, and Tim the main facets of this ship compared to the ferries he had worked on in his home state back in his youth. By the time they had arrived in Nantucket Harbor, Fred Lindstrom was full blown enthralled but making great effort not to show it.
"Pretty neat, huh, Dad?" Kate asked her father from where they stood on the bow of the top deck. He only shrugged and pretended to be uninterested. "Oh, Dad," said Kate as she gently shook his arm, well aware of his true feelings, "I know you liked it!" Mr. Lindstrom simply grinned.
Tim's Explorer was parked right where he had left it four days earlier. The small party piled in, much relieved to be at their final destination after the exhausting trek. Tim whisked them off to his house, where they unloaded their few bags, freshened up, and then regrouped.
Kate's parents were instantly impressed by the house, which Kate had described to them in detail many times before. Giving them an abbreviated tour, saving the longer version for later, Tim decided it best that they should get some dinner immediately. So they headed off to the town again before calling it a day.
Luckily, Cap'n Tobey's Chowder House was still open for the remainder of the tourist season. Tim, having learned from Kate her father's love of good chowder and of scallops, concluded that this would be the most fitting place as well as the least pretentious, realizing that they were a family of simple tastes, Kate, of course, being the exception to that rule.
On the drive over, Tim explained to the Lindstroms, who were seated behind him, Kate next to him, where they would be going. He recommended the choice of eatery as a great place for fish. Immediately, Kate could see over her shoulder that her parents had doubts as to what the cost would be for a seafood restaurant, but Kate knew that Tim had a surprise in store for them, so she merely smiled in an attempt to ease their fears.
Once at the restaurant, which did have atmosphere as Kate intended for each place they ate, Tim suggested that Fred might like the scallops which were particularly good at Tobey's, but Mr. Lindstrom let it be known in relatively short time that he thought all the choices too expensive.
"For God sake's, Fred," Mrs. Lindstrom murmured.
"It's all right, Erin," Tim interjected gently; turning to Kate's father, he agreed but then offered his surprise. "It is a little pricey, Mr. Lindstrom, but I'll take care of it."
Kate's father looked up from his menu. "Call me Fred, Tim, and thanks we appreciate that, but no," stated Fred emphatically, joined in by Kate's mom.
"Fred," began Tim in his most efficacious manner, "I'm happy to do it. It's the least I can do for you putting me up for three nights, so please accept this as a token of my gratitude and we'll leave it at that, okay?"
Even Kate was impressed with his little speech carried out as sincerely, patiently, and politely as was humanly possible. Kate's parents, stunned and taken aback by Tim's gentle forcefulness, both conceded and chorused their thanks to which he smiled, saying, "Well, that's settled; now let's eat!"
It was a pleasant dinner made livelier by Kate's father's boundless questions of the Nantucket maritime history and life. If he had wanted to know everything about the island now, he had turned to the right source because, as Fred was discovering and as Kate and her mother already knew, Tim was the foremost expert. Tim, willing and informative, expounded in great measure, for which Kate was glad because her father's interest was now engaged due to Tim, and that made for a, hopefully, happy weekend for them all.
After dinner, Tim drove the Lindstroms around town though it was after nightfall. Even so, the town had a nice enchanting quality to it, and some of the mansion homes had lights on.
Kate called over her shoulder, "It's not like the island you knew, Dad, huh?"
"No, it's a little different," admitted her father with that understatement.
Since all four were exhausted from their day's travels, they retired early to Tim's. Having given her parents a quick tour before they had departed for dinner, Tim now gave them a more extensive tour as they settled in for their stay.
Tim had placed a television from his room into the second spare room for the night having heard from Kate how much her parents liked to watch the news and late night talk shows. With appreciation, Fred and Erin excused themselves and took advantage of Tim's considerate arrangement to make them more comfortable and at home. Kate kissed both her parents goodnight. She then joined Tim in the living room for a nightcap of Irish Coffees that he had made to perfection. They sat unwinding and enjoying each other's company as they watched the fire he had just made. Kate laughed suddenly.
"What?" asked a curious Tim.
Kate tried to explain. "I was just thinking that it's strange not to be getting ready to leave." She watched Tim's reaction, which consisted of merely a smile and a nod. She continued, no longer laughing, "I'm not sure how to act." She looked away, and then down at her drink as she repeated, "This is so strange."
Tim tried to ease her nervousness. "Just relax. Make yourself comfortable; make yourself at home. This is your home for the next few days, you know?" He looked at Kate and warmly smiled his reassurance.
Kate, in turn, smiled back at him and responded softly, "That sounds nice."
They held each other's gaze for a few seconds, and Kate wished to herself that it were really home for much longer than a weekend. She looked down again, quickly, as if fearful that Tim would read her secret thoughts as she took another gulp of her coffee. In the silence that followed, she finished the remainder of her drink, and judging it best to end there, she rose suddenly.
"Well, I guess I better call it a night," Kate said as she set down her glass.
Tim rose just as suddenly. "What? You don't want another of my world class Irish Coffees?" he asked feigning wounded pride.
Kate involuntarily grinned. "No, as tempting as they are, I won't sleep a wink if I do, so I'll say good night, all right?"
Tim agreed easily enough. "All right, if you need anything, you know which door to knock. Remember?"
She raised her eyes quickly at the possible suggestive remark which her good sense told her had no hidden meaning but which flustered her, nevertheless, as she responded, "Yes. Sure, thanks!"
"Okay?" Tim asked eyeing her.
"Yeah, okay," Kate tried to answer coolly but still sounded somewhat anxious.
Tim extended a hand in a gesture that said this way as he waited for her to gather her wits and follow him. He led her to the bedroom next to his. As he opened the door for her, they stood together face to face at the door frame for a moment. Then as Kate peered into the darkness ahead, Tim brushed past her to turn on a lamp on the nightstand near the door. He stepped back out of the room and facing her again, he spoke, "Good night, Kate."
"Good night," she uttered as she stepped past him into the room. He closed the door for her, and as she heard his footsteps die away, she sat down on the bed and breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn't quite sure what she was feeling, but whatever it was, she knew it couldn't be good.
As she unpacked her pajamas and her toiletries, she wondered what Tim's nightly routine was. She peeked out of her room a moment later and seeing the coast clear, she dashed to the bathroom. After she had finished brushing her teeth and washing her face, she poked her head out of the bathroom and saw the light was out in the hall. She quickly crossed over to her room.
From his chair in the living room, Tim heard Kate enter her room and close the door, and he grinned to himself as he watched the fire die out from the comfort of his rocking chair. He finished his second drink reflecting that he felt a great sense of contentment and peace, and he had no doubt that Kate and her parents being on the island and staying with him was contributing to that sense of well-being.
Kate laid her clothes aside and turned down the bed. From her suitcase, she drew out a small candle and a holder for it, along with a prayer book, and some matches. She went to the nightstand, laying the items down. Then kneeling on the floor, she lit the candle, turned out the lamp, and began her night prayer of daily reading and reflection from the prayer book she used. She was carrying out a ritual that she repeated each night before bed whether she happened to be home or on vacation. This night it was about to be interrupted, however, as she suddenly heard footsteps followed by a knock on the door. Kate didn't move right away. In fact, she didn't even breathe for a moment, hoping the sound would go away or wouldn't come again, but it did.
Tim stood outside her door. On his way to the bathroom, he had caught sight of a strange flickering shadow coming from underneath her door. Concerned and also somewhat curious, he knocked.
Kate quickly blew out the candle, realizing it had drawn unwanted attention. She tried to wave away the smoke. Then she ran to the door. She opened it part way and stuck her head out, not letting Tim get a look in. "Oh, hi," she greeted him casually, "Everything all right?"
Tim looked puzzled, rightfully so, as he answered her, "I don't know; you tell me. I saw some kind of strange light coming from under the door. Is that smoke I smell?" He tried to peer in.
Kate pulled the door closer to her to block his view. "Oh, it's nothing. Sometimes I light a candle for the scent and relaxation. It's out now." He stood looking at her dumbly, and then she exclaimed, suddenly perturbed, "Don't worry! I'm not going to burn down the house or perform some kind of satanic ritual, if that's what you think!"
Tim chuckled at her sudden change in tone and not wishing to cause her any further angst, he didn't prolong the matter. "Okay, well, go ahead and light it again if you'd like."
"No, I'm tired. I think I'll just turn in."
Tim looked at her peculiarly but realizing he was getting nowhere, at last, said, "Okay. Well, see you in the morning."
"Yup. You too. Night," came Kate's casual reply as she quickly shut the door. Letting out an exasperated sigh, she chose not to start her prayer routine again. She climbed into bed, instead, and prayed the Lord's Prayer in silence.
She could hear Tim in his room next door. She wondered what he must think. She didn't consider it for too long though as she fell fast to sleep and slept soundly all through the night.
When Kate awoke, she heard nothing but quiet outside her room. Consequently, she decided to make a dash for the bathroom. She worried that the night before when Tim had looked in on her that he might have caught a glimpse of her without makeup, though it had been dark. Kate was determined now for him not to see her in broad daylight without it.
It was still quiet when she emerged from the bathroom, but as she tiptoed across the hall towards her room, she was startled by Tim's cheerful voice, greeting, "Good morning!"
Kate jumped a mile before turning to him. She had not, as yet, had the chance to put her makeup on (though she wore only a moderate amount), and she hesitated a moment determining what to do as she heard him walking towards her though her back was to him. Remembering the many people who saw her each morning at Mass without her face done (and even at work, as she never made up until the last possible moment before going on duty, only until she was fully awake), she threw caution to the wind and turned to face him.
"Good morning," Kate responded as nonchalantly as she could.
"You're an early riser," said Tim coming nearer to her.
"Ah, no, not usually; I mean, yes, I'm up at six-thirty on most days, but I'm not fully awake until much later. I just wanted to catch the bathroom before anyone else," she tried to explain feebly as Tim, folding his arms, leaned against the wall to listen.
"Oh, I see," remarked Tim, perplexed but also amused, nonetheless. "Well, that shouldn't be a problem with two bathrooms in the house," he teased as he started to turn towards the living room. "Whenever you're ready for breakfast, come and join me," he invited while heading to the living area.
"Sure, be right there," Kate called after him as she hastily retreated to her room once again. A few moments later with her makeup now on, which only consisted of some eyeliner and light mascara to hide the redness of her eyes from waking, Kate shuffled into the living room and turning a corner, she came upon him setting items on a tray in the kitchen.
Tim looked up as she approached. "I thought we could eat out on the deck. It's a little cool, but what a beautiful morning!" he exclaimed.
It was an exquisite morning, so Kate nodded her head in agreement as she helped him carry things out. Then knocking on her parents' door, which was on the second floor for privacy, she invited them to hurry and join her and Tim.
"We'll be along shortly," yelled Mrs. Lindstrom through the door.
Kate hurried out to where Tim was already situated at his place at the table on the deck. He wore his heaviest Shami shirt and turtleneck. She sat down opposite him. Suddenly aware that the morning did have a bit of a chill, she shivered and was about to run and grab her coat when Tim offered her his wool cardigan that was on the back of his chair.
"Here, try this," he said grabbing the sweater and placing it around her shoulders for her. Tim stood for a moment with his hand resting on one shoulder, and as Kate glanced up at him and whispered her thanks, he smiled and patted her arm before returning to his seat.
Instantly, she was aware of an intense merriment about him this morning. He seemed to be enjoying himself immensely, and Kate tried to figure out why as she sat watching him from across the table. "What's got you in such a good mood?" she inquired as she broke a muffin in two, "And did you make these?" she asked in wonderment.
Tim chose to answer her second question, subtly passing over the first. "No, sorry, I bought them," he admitted, "From the A & P, but I did make the coffee, toast, and eggs. Last night, I asked your father before he turned in how he liked his eggs. He thought it an odd question until I explained." Tim chuckled at the memory.
Kate continued to eye Tim as he cheerily buttered his toast.
"Well, eat up!" he insisted.
"You haven't answered my question," Kate reminded him, "My first question."
"Oh," he looked innocent and responded likewise, "Which one was that?"
"Why you're in such a good mood, that one!" Kate noted undeterred.
"Aren't I always in a good mood?" Tim asked with honest sincerity.
"Perhaps," she observed, "But this morning it's more than usual. What's going on?" she demanded.
Tim looked up from his meal and gazed at her. Taking a little breath of the clean, sharp autumn air, he stated very simply, "I'm just glad you're here, Kate. I'm just … glad you're here."
She pondered his words for a moment. As always, such statements of his left her temporarily speechless, but then realizing that she was glad to be there also, she murmured, "Me, too," as she gazed back at him.
At that juncture, her parents joined them. "Well, here you two are," remarked Kate's father. "We've been looking all over for you," he teased them.
Kate's mother was immediately taken with the scenery and the views from the deck overlooking the pond beyond Tim's property. All of which had not been visible the night before in the darkness. Erin Lindstrom was more impressed than anything, however, by the wonderful breakfast spread prepared by Tim's own hands, with no help from Kate. The Lindstroms sat down to enjoy a hearty meal.
The colors of a Nantucket fall were already brilliantly on display right in Tim's own backyard, but nevertheless, the small group set their course of action for day. It was to incorporate all of the town and its many sights, some of which Kate and her mom had seen before but that this time were especially going to be evident for Kate's dad, such as the Whaling Museum, and the wharves, and Tim's shop, still closed as he continued to enjoy a mini-vacation.
Once again, it was a whirlwind tour, as for two days, Tim, the perfect guide, drove them all about the island, explaining the history, answering many questions, and fulfilling any requests. They all gained from the trip, but Fred Lindstrom, in particular, took away a new perspective on this island thirty miles out to sea, a far different place than he had thought possible and what he had compared it to, and he found "the whole thing very interesting," in his own words.
Mrs. Lindstrom got some fabulous photos once again and had the chance to see a Nantucket autumn in full splendor, and she along with Kate's dad, as well as Kate herself, had the experience of a great weekend at a minimal cost while getting to know their host even better.
For Kate and Tim, they got the best deal of all as they had time together and further affirmation of their friendship, as well as the continued mutual growth of their affection for each other. All in all, it was a pretty fantastic autumn weekend or so Kate thought as they waved goodbye to Tim from the ferry deck as they departed the island.
This time, she felt in her heart and knew intuitively that she wouldn't have to wait as long to see him again; somehow she just knew. She didn't know when their next meeting would be, but she knew it would be soon!
21: A December Trip~XXI~
WHEN Kate left Nantucket with her parents, on the ferry dock, her father had shaken Tim's hand with sincerity and gratitude, and Tim had predicted then that they would all see each other again very soon just as Kate's intuition had also told her. Kate, however, did not realize then how very soon soon would be, but shortly after her return to Connecticut, she received word through one of his letters.
Kate had wondered at the time of their visit in October, and had even asked, how he could afford to shut down his shop for a whole week, and now he was planning to close it again for a week after Christmas. His explanation was that he was entitled to a vacation just like any normal person, and so for two or three weeks a year, he would shut down - one week after Christmas, and a week or two some other time of the year. Sometimes he'd close for a day here or there or a morning as he had when he had seen her off on her second visit to the island, but he was definitely not one of the seasonal, business owners and residents who closed shop in the lean months. His was a year round business. Therefore, closing down a few weeks a year wouldn't hurt as he reasoned to Kate in writing: I make enough money in the summer and from the tourists that I can afford to do it. Kate was merely happy that he could.
Something else in his letter, however, startled and concerned Kate, enough so that she felt compelled to call him. As usual, whenever she called, he always answered his phone with a cheerful hello. The rest of the conversation went something like this:
"Hi, it's me, Kate."
"Hi, Kate! Good to hear from ya! So you got my letter, I presume."
"Yeah, I did, and it all sounds great, I just have one question."
"Uh, huh," responded Tim expectantly.
Kate continued with a little hesitation and as much diplomacy as she could muster, beginning with her smallest concerns and working up to her biggest. "I think it's great you want to have Christmas together with us, but then what about your family?" Kate already knew the answer; she was merely stalling. She could almost hear, if not see, Tim's grin on the other end of the line.
"I'll see them the day after with you. I hope you don't mind me inviting myself down. Can your parents put me up for another night?"
"Sure," answered Kate without hesitancy this time.
"Great!" was Tim's enthusiastic response.
"Well, I'll have to ask them first, I mean, but I'm sure they'll be open to it."
"Can you get the few days off work?" Tim asked, suddenly concerned.
"Yes," said Kate, despondent that she had as yet been unable to work up the nerve to bring up her real dilemma.
As if he read her thoughts, whether intentionally or not, Tim helped her bring up the subject. "Was that your question before?"
"No, not exactly," Kate began gingerly. "Actually, I'm wondering about after Boston, in Nantucket…"
"Yeah, you have a question about Nantucket? You know all about Nantucket!" Tim remarked, anticipating her real question but teasing her first while simultaneously trying to put her at greater ease.
Kate went on painfully. "I'm wondering about … your suggestion … that I stay there – at the house." Once she had managed to get the words out, she stuck her thumbnail between her two front teeth and waited for Tim's response, hoping he would understand her dilemma so she wouldn't have to state it outright.
Tim, finally, understood Kate's hesitancy and her beating around the bush, but he wasn't about to let her off easy. She had brought up the issue, and so they would explore it. "Well, I thought since you stayed with me this past month, that you might as well again. Make sense?"
"Yeah, except, my parents were there," Kate reminded him, praying he wouldn't ask her to explain further, that he would have the wherewithal to comprehend the situation. She could hear his sigh on the other end.
"I see, like chaperones you mean," Tim remarked.
"Uh, huh," uttered Kate.
"Mmmm," Tim murmured.
At that point in the conversation, a seemingly interminable silence stretched on between Kate and Tim. For Kate, it was a matter of waiting for his comprehension and then decision. On Tim's part, he was busy thinking how he could persuade her, as that is what he knew it now took to convince her. When at last he thought he had the answer, he spoke.
"Well, this is how I see it, Kate: There's nothing romantic between us, right?"
"Right."
"We're just friends, right?" he asked her.
"Right!" Kate repeated, wondering what direction he was going with this.
"Well then, there's no threat of anything happening, is there?" Without waiting for her response, Tim continued with his theory. "We'll be staying together as friends – you in one room, me in the other. It's that simple. Now how does that sound?"
Kate was confused but feeling a little more secure though stupid for even bringing up the subject, as Tim made it seem so obvious that were there any romance between them, then they might have to worry, but as strictly platonic friends, there was no chance. Kate's former pastor in California had once said nearly the same thing to her when she had asked what he thought of the idea of the male roommate she had taken in to share expenses. Her pastor had explained that there was no temptation where there was no desire, and at the time, there had been no desire at all, at least not on Kate's end, but now she wondered about the present situation. Nevertheless, Kate finally answered Tim, "Fine, that sounds fine."
"Great! So I'll catch the first ferry I can Christmas morning and drive down so that I'll, hopefully, be there around one p.m. if I make good time, which I'm sure I will," enthused Tim, secretly relieved that Kate had abandoned any doubts, at least for the time being, about their future visit.
Hearing her silence on the other end, he continued to outline his plans, hoping to alleviate her fears and instead get her excited about their next meeting.
"The traffic should be light that time of the day on a holiday. Then we can spend a day together in Connecticut, a day in Boston, or a day and a half, and then make it for the three o'clock ferry, arrive here five fifteen and spend the next night and day on Nantucket. I have a little tree, too, you know?"
The afterthought caught Kate off guard, causing her to let out an involuntary giggle.
"So do I!" piped up Kate, finally, speechless up to that moment.
"Great! I'll see it when we stop by on our way out of town," remarked an excited Tim. Then more subdued, he added, "It's time you met my family, Kate, way beyond time. Plus, I have a surprise for you."
"Another surprise?! Don't you ever run out of them?" asked a disconcerted Kate.
"Well," Tim spoke slowly and thoughtfully, "This is more of a promise I'm keeping from our first meeting."
Kate wracked her brain, searching back through her memories to their first encounter, but she couldn't fathom to what he referred. She sighed, however, expecting that in short time he would reveal it to her since as long as she had known him, he had never forgot anything he had promised or said he would do. Thereby, as they concluded their conversation, Kate ascertained that she would find out his little surprise in the relative future. It was just a matter of time.
November and most of December passed quickly, and Christmas Eve was upon them, as it seemed, all at once. A big storm had been predicted for most of the Northeastern seaboard, but as of Christmas Eve, it still had not hit, being held at bay.
Kate had managed to get all her shopping done and was busily wrapping though she was dissatisfied with her gifts for Tim. She had hoped to have the special gift done for him that she had planned for so long, but it was causing her more trouble than it was worth. Therefore, she determined it was not the right time. One day she would finish the project, but for now, she relied on her next choice, which was music. She had her cousin burn a compact disc of a mix of her favorite songs, including the one that she and Tim had first danced to the night before his birthday that past April. She hoped Tim would recall it. Kate had little doubt really as his memory was impeccable, in fact, better than hers, and that was saying a lot.
She also wrapped up a lesser gift of a navy turtleneck and a thick, wool shami shirt knowing that it was the attire that he seemed most comfortable in, that suited him the best, and that Kate thought looked most appealing on him. Although, she thought to herself, I've never really seen him in anything else, and she realized that it was because she had never seen him in any season outside of fall or early spring. Christmas would mark the first time she would be seeing him in the winter, but he was not dressed much differently when he landed on her parents' doorstep except for wearing a parka instead of his usual casual jacket.
The doorbell rang, and Kate bounded down the stairs to answer it. Tim had arrived, and he was dressed in his heavy duty parka and wearing a knit cap, which one might have thought would have matted his natural curly hair down, but when removed, it was evident that it had only served to push the strands around in even more ways than usual.
Tim dropped his bag on the floor as Kate threw her arms around him, and they both laughed. They greeted each other ecstatically as they hugged in the entryway to her parents' house, he slightly out of breath and cold, and she full of warmth and vigor. They were both in a state of disbelief that they were together so soon again, as they released and stared back at each other for a moment, smiling. Then Tim bent down and picked up his travel bag as Kate led him up the stairs to the parlor into the heart of her family's Christmas celebration. Due to her mother's fervor for the holidays, the entire house was always decorated to magical proportions, but particularly, the living room where the ceiling high tree stood.
Kate's family, which included Erin and Fred, and her youngest brother Ben, (her brother Josh would be along later with his girlfriend and her three children), were delighted to see Tim again, greeting him with handshakes and hugs and cheerful hellos as they began to make him feel right at home, taking his coat, gloves, and hat. Kate noticed, as did all her family members that Tim's countenance was ruddier than usual due to the brisk winter air, but that he never looked healthier or happier, and his eyes had never sparkled more.
Kate was amazed that he had made it to Connecticut and the house in the time that he had projected, and she commented on it. His response was typical, optimistic Tim, "Yeah, the roads were deserted; it was really great! What a pleasure to drive on an actual holiday! It's the best time to travel!"
After he had settled in a bit and visited with each person for a time, Kate pulled him into the kitchen to warm him with a hot cup of steaming Joe. Tim looked so happy and relaxed. He had on his usual turtleneck along with a heavy wool crew neck sweater, and the casual style baggy pants he always preferred to wear.
Kate was relieved that he had made it down before her cousins and aunt and uncles had arrived so that she could have some time with him to herself. It would be chaos once the extended family was there. Hence, she felt inclined to relish the few precious hours she would have with him partially alone.
Erin suggested they open their gifts before the rest of the company showed up when it would become the ultimate bedlam. The suggestion caused Tim to exclaim in his jovial way, "Wow, just show up and you get gifts – What a deal!"
"C'mon," Kate said as she prodded him into the living room where the immediate family exchanged their gifts each Christmas. Everyone was amazed that Tim had brought a gift for each person in the family besides just for Kate. He had brought for Kate's mom the cranberry candy she had come to love from her first visit to the island, for Mr. Lindstrom, a package of scallops frozen on ice from Nantucket just like the ones he had enjoyed while dining at Cap'n Tobey's.
Tim had brought Kate's brothers each gifts reflecting their various interests based on what Kate had told him. For her brother Josh, it was journals and pens for his writing, as he, like Kate, enjoyed journaling. For Ben, Tim had chosen oils and colors for his painting, as her youngest brother had a talent for that particular art form.
In addition, Tim also supplied the entire family with baked goods from Provisions, Nantucket's premiere bakery, and especially, for Kate's mother, as his hostess, he gave a framed print of Brant Point Light from the island, which thrilled Mrs. Lindstrom to the core, being the lighthouse enthusiast that she was. The photo had been taken in the season of Christmas, and so the light was decorated with a wreath of holly and poinsettia flowers on it, making the reproduction a very appropriate gift.
For Kate's family's part, they showered gifts upon Tim, as well, which touched him sincerely, along with the gifts that Kate had given. At last, he gave his gifts to Kate. She had already considered his visit to be her gift, but he had also brought more stationary for her to continue her correspondence to him each month, which had never abated in the near two years that they had now known each other.
He also gave her a ring that surprised Kate at first because Tim had never given her jewelry of any kind (with the exception of the bird pendant he had made her), which she figured made sense since that would be more demonstrative of a romantic relationship, and theirs was not, she knew. Hence, she sat shocked as she stared at the ring which she recognized immediately as a Claddagh ring, an Irish creation of two hands encircled around a heart in love and friendship, with the crown of Christ at the top. She knew the meaning because she had worn one herself for years, just a cheap ten-dollar sample she had gotten from Avon.
Tim, seeing Kate's shock as she held the ring in between her forefinger and thumb as she stared at it trying to figure the meaning in this particular gift, explained, "I noticed yours a long time ago, and I wanted you to have one from me as a token of our friendship. The Claddagh is the perfect symbol of friendship, and so I thought it time you had a good one."
Kate was flabbergasted. All she could utter was "thank you." Never had she been given so generous and personal a gift, especially from a man, but Tim was about to top even himself, because his next gift to Kate was a plane ticket to Nantucket for a weekend in April, his birthday weekend, – their next appointed time together. Kate was thunderstruck.
Pleased with the fact that he had really stunned her this time, Tim exclaimed, "Look at the time!" He pointed to a spot on the ticket, which listed the departure time for a flight in the early afternoon. Jubilant, Tim announced with a chuckle, "Now, you'll have to take the day off or at least half a day."
Kate was beside herself. Nothing she had given him could match his gift. "No, my God, Tim! This really is too generous! How could I ever repay you?"
"Accept it, and we'll call it even," Tim said with a smile, then adding, "And your visit will be payment enough."
Kate, who sat on the floor in front of him, looked up shell shocked and speechless and responded as such, "I don't know what to say."
"Are you going to come in April?" Tim asked with devilish delight.
"Yes, of course!" Kate answered without hesitation.
Tim grinned and told her, "Then that's all you need to say!"
Kate shook her head. "No, I need to say thank you! Thank you so much," and her words were heavy with emotion as she then reached up from her place before him, and on her knees hugged him.
The frenzy of opening gifts had been momentarily suspended as the whole family sat in awed silence of Tim and Kate's exchange. Kate wondered to herself what she had ever done to deserve such a friend as Tim. She, suddenly, knew without a doubt that he was like a gift from God, especially chosen for her.
The quietness of that supreme moment as they hugged all at once hit them as Tim and Kate became aware that everything had ground to a halt and that the family had engaged in the act of staring. Hence, Kate and Tim began to laugh as they concluded their hug and separated. Once again, liveliness hit the household as the day kicked into high gear in preparation for what was yet to come.
For Kate, the remainder of the day was spent in sublime bliss for never at any time in her life could she remember being so completely happy. One by one, her relatives arrived, and she introduced Tim to each as, "This is my close friend, Tim O'Malley." Tim, for his part, was as good an acquaintance as he was a friend, and he put forth his most amiable self, being gracious to each one that he met. The family was on its best behavior for him, and Kate was satisfied.
It was a long, exhausting day, but one that was made easier by Tim's presence. Kate had never enjoyed a Christmas as much, and the day couldn't have ended lovelier. Such a day needed an appropriate end, one worthy of joy and camaraderie. Therefore, it should have been no surprise to Kate what happened next when she and Tim went for a ride with her parents after all the guests had departed.
To see around the neighborhood all the house decorations and lights was a tradition for her mother that concluded each Christmas night. Kate enjoyed it also, especially now that she did not have to worry about getting up in the morning for work since she would be leaving with Tim for Boston then. Even as she was deep in thought, pondering this in her mind, she, nevertheless, was not startled when Tim, seated close besides her in the back of her parents' van, reached out and took her hand in his.
From any other man such a gesture would have normally shocked Kate, even appalled her, but with Tim it seemed perfectly natural, and she did not mind a bit though she did look down then at her hand in his, knowing that it was in the spirit of friendship. In that same spirit, Kate placed her other hand over his. Tim turned to her with an expression of surprise that quickly turned to a warm, appreciating smile. Kate smiled, also, and shaking her head, she settled in to enjoy the ride.
22: Christmas In Boston~XXII~
KATE and Tim readied for the trip to Boston with a ride over to Kate's so he could see her tree and decorations, and so that Kate could pick up fresh clothes for Boston and later Nantucket, besides what few gifts she had for Tim's family. She felt bad that she had so little after everything Tim had given to her. She had tried to buy gifts that were from Ireland as a way to remember their two families' common bond, but she feared now that they were merely simple trinkets and not worth nearly enough to convey her true respect and affection.
Well, maybe on the way up we could stop somewhere, and I could pick something up, Kate thought to herself though she hated last minute shopping since it was always a hassle and failed to demonstrate that thought and preparation had played a part.
At her apartment, Tim had taken the time to closely look at her Christmas tree to study the many varied and unique ornaments that she had accumulated over the years such as memorabilia like her Scarlett O'Hara ornament or her Snoopy one – all of them gifts to her from family and friends over the years, all treasured by her, not one bought for herself. Kate stood with him a moment or two as she pointed out the more priceless ones, but then she was off and about gathering her things.
Once they were back at her parents, they transferred everything from the van to Tim's Explorer in anticipation of the next day's trip and to save valuable time in the morning. Having finished that task, Kate and Tim walked about the outside of the house looking over her mother's decorations, which were considerable and as beautiful as any in the neighborhood, maybe even more so.
As they meandered around, Kate joked, "We use to believe we could see the brightness from all the lights a mile away!" In many ways, Kate was not exaggerating for nearly every available space on the front of the house had lights as well as all the bushes. It gave the entire place the look of a fairy house. She laughed at the thought, and Tim joined her, concurring completely.
"They are no doubt spectacular! You can tell her I said so."
"Thanks, I will. She'll appreciate it," remarked Kate pleased that he appreciated her mother's efforts for Erin Linstrom did put her heart and soul into her yearly display.
In front of the Nativity, they paused. Kate liked to stand in this spot the longest and say a little prayer, but with Tim along, she felt self-conscious, so she started to turn to go in. Tim held out his arm, however, to halt her.
"This has been a very, special Christmas for me, Kate," he spoke quietly.
"For me, as well," she answered kindly.
"Merry Christmas, Kate," Tim said softly with wonder and awe as he then leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.
Kate stood for a moment just looking at him, and then she responded by returning the gesture as on tiptoe she reached up and kissed him on his cheek. Stepping away, she said, "Merry Christmas, Tim."
Their little exchange had surprised each slightly, but yet, it had felt natural to them, as well, for they were friends, and friends at the holidays were suppose to demonstrate signs of affection, as they had just done. In that vein, reaching out, Tim put his arm around Kate as they walked back into the house together.
Kate reflected on it all that evening when she was alone and the next morning. She was still reflecting on it when Tim appeared at the breakfast table.
"Good Morning!" he responded full of cheer. "Happy Saint Stephen's Day!"
She blinked and stared at him, amazed that he knew the saint's feast day.
Judging by her stunned expression, Tim countered, "What? You thought I was totally ignorant of my Catholic heritage?!"
He looked hurt though Kate knew it was in jest and that he was only playing with her. She answered him in a like manner. "Well, I just didn't think you knew it so well! That's all," Kate retorted.
Tim chuckled as he sat down next to her, and they ate a quick breakfast with her parents before heading out.
The Lord had blessed them with a beautiful, sunny day. A storm was still predicted for the near future, but the weather looked as though it would hold at least for the traveling.
After breakfast, Kate kissed her parents goodbye, and in the Explorer, she and Tim began their short journey to Boston. It was around nine o'clock by the time they were on the road, but the traffic was light with most people having opted to take the day after Christmas off as well. Kate was happy for this since she hated to travel on roads that were congested, as she expected the routes into Boston would be, but unfortunately, it was a necessary evil they could not avoid.
They arrived in the city shortly after noontime. They had made only one stop on the way up at Kate's insistence, a little strip mall where Kate had half-heartily and hastily searched for some meaningful gift but had come up empty-handed.
When she had returned to the car with Tim waiting calmly for her, she remarked with exasperation, "Why didn't you tell me what your family liked? You know my family and their likes and dislikes!"
"You didn't ask," remarked Tim serenely.
Kate let out a sigh. "You always say that, but I suppose it's true," she admitted honestly but feeling worse than ever for her ill preparedness.
Tim seeing her downcast figure in the seat next to him attempted to lessen her anxiety. "Look, Kate, don't be concerned. We're not so much visiting them for Christmas as we are just to get acquainted. Gifts are really not necessary."
"Yes, they are, especially as I'll be their guest!" she exclaimed forlornly, not really expecting him to understand, as she knew little things such as her plight seldom bothered him.
"Well, my gifts can be from the both of us," Tim said pleasantly.
"No, absolutely not! Not as friends!" Kate answered adamantly, "That would be fine if we were married or engaged."
Just then, they glanced at each other and then quickly looked away, Kate a little quicker than Tim as the idea of union had been put out there, and she didn't want either of them to dwell on it too long.
Tim tried to reassure her, "My family's really easy-going and laid back, Kate. There's really nothing to worry about, and besides, it's just my brother and his family, so relax."
Realizing what he said was true made Kate begin to feel a little better.
"Now, if my mom had been alive still, then you had better present something grand or face her wrath!" Tim teased, looking at Kate with a grin and a wink.
Kate shook her head at his playfulness, but in her mind and in her heart, she was sorry that his parents weren't alive for she would have liked to have met the two remarkable people who brought Tim O'Malley into the world. With great sorrow and regret, she acknowledged that the possibility would never exist.
Though she was beginning to feel more at ease, Kate asked once again, this time light-heartily, "Really laid back, huh?"
Seeing that she was finally relaxing, Tim gratefully confirmed with a big smile, "You got it!"
From the first moment the door to the O'Malleys' was opened and they were greeted, Kate knew Tim had not been telling tall tales or spinning yarns. Both Tom and his wife Marie were not only laid back, but they welcomed Kate with open arms and treated her as if they had known her forever, which made her feel at home at once and very comfortable with her surroundings. There were hugs right away on the front landing and kisses a plenty, not just for Tim, but for Kate, as well.
Even though Tom was the younger brother, he was the one established with the wife and family. He was only a few years younger than Tim, in fact, but his small children were already five and four, and they tore around the place as kids that age often will. Along the way, however, they would take turns pausing to give Kate quick stares, which made her wonder why. She couldn't fail to notice how well they took to Tim though and how well he got on with them. They loved their uncle, especially when they knew he had brought them gifts, which they wanted to open immediately, but Marie put a stop to that.
"Tim, not before we eat," his sister-in-law scolded him. Then switching gears at once, as mothers are generally required to do at a moment's notice, she turned her attention to her husband and requested, "Tom will get them ready for lunch, please."
Tom hit his older brother on the arm. "We held lunch for you." Turning to Kate, he asked of them both, "You guys hungry?"
Kate and Tim nodded.
"We can have a light lunch now," continued Tom, "and then have the big meal tonight when Annie and Paddy come over."
"Sounds good," remarked Tim, looking more relaxed than ever.
Tim's brother left the room momentarily, giving Kate a chance to have Tim to herself to inquire of something Tom had said that had perked her ears up. "Who are Annie and Paddy?" she whispered from a few feet away.
"You'll see," is all he would say, amused at her searching and worried expression. He knew her well enough to know she didn't like surprises or being caught off guard, but he was pretty sure, she would change her mind after this one.
Kate hated it when he said those two words. She stood silent, wondering.
During lunch, Kate had a chance to study the family thoroughly. Kate noticed that although Tim was older, his brother was taller, of a leaner build, and had more manageable hair, which was also quite a bit darker, as well. His wife Marie was blond but did not appear to be of Irish descent. Her eyes were dark like an Italian's, but one never knew for sure until one asked.
The kids, a boy and a girl, Jacob and Tamara, both took after their mother with blond hair, but each had their father's blue eyes. All in all, they were the picture perfect American family or so they appeared, which made Kate and her cynical nature wonder what was wrong with them. She didn't have long to ponder it as the kids let out a scream as soon as the last crumb had been consumed, sending them tearing into living room and around the Christmas tree expecting to open gifts.
"Guess, we'll clean this up later," said Marie with a sigh and a laugh as the adults headed into the living room, also.
Kate studied Tim as his niece and nephew opened his gifts, of how he dove right onto the floor with them to show them how the toys he had bought them worked. Kate knew almost instantly what a great father he would make. He had that natural, easy going manner that children loved and were drawn to, unlike herself, who had always wanted children but had doubts as to her skill as a parent. Kate even often wondered if she had the motherly instinct in her at all. She had the instinct to know that she wanted to be a mother, but she just didn't know if she would be a good one. At times, she didn't believe so as sometimes she was awkward with kids and didn't know how to handle them though people had told her time and again that when they were your own, it was different. "Still, do you wait until you have them to take the chance and find out?" she asked herself.
Tim, on the other hand, would be a natural, Kate could tell. What a shame he's not, thought Kate to herself. Suddenly, she snapped out of her reverie as she realized that Tim had caught her, deep in thought, watching him. From his position on the floor, he smiled up at her, and she couldn't help smiling back as she left her train of thought behind.
Although, Kate hadn't expected it, the family did give her gifts, little tokens of appreciation for her being with them and for being in Tim's life, and for a time, she felt overwhelmed and unworthy. It didn't matter what they had given her; just that they had thought of her. Even the kids had given her gifts they had made, little drawings and snowflakes they had cut out, paper Christmas trees covered with sparkles, which she loved and would treasure.
The gifts that Tom and Marie had given her were most appropriate as well, having conferred with Tim, no doubt. They were all things she would use as a writer: lovely stationary cards, real writer's pens with refills, which were always hard for her to find, more journals as she was forever running out. Tim had passed all this information onto them. Kate felt touched by their generosity, and grateful, though she hadn't felt deserving. Later in the kitchen, Kate tried to offer her gratitude to the family by telling Tim's sister-in-law.
"Marie, I really want to thank you for having me and for the lovely gifts."
"You already have," stated Marie firmly as she put things away in the refrigerator, "and we're glad to have you. We're happy to welcome any friend of Tim's. You're welcome here anytime."
"Thank you," Kate said simply. Then she went on feebly, "I wish I could do something to show my gratitude."
"You can," interjected Marie. "Just go on being a friend to Tim. You've made quite an impression on him! He's spoken of you so often to us." She thought for a moment before continuing. "He's happier than I think I've ever seen him."
"Humph," Kate muttered, "I can't imagine him being anything other than happy; it would seem to go against his nature."
"Yeah," Marie admitted with a grin, "He is a pretty, jovial guy, but there's an extra twinkle in his eye these days, and I'm pretty sure its name is Kate."
Kate, trying to avoid blushing and a little fearful of the direction the conversation was heading, changed the subject quickly. "This is a lovely house! Been here long?" she asked.
"Well, for Tom, all his life. It was Tom and Tim's childhood home, you see. They grew up here. After their parents died, Tom got this house, and Tim got the place he had been looking for on Nantucket, the place they had spent their childhood summers at. He might have told you?"
Kate gave a half nod. Tim had told her how he had come upon the house on Nantucket, but he had never made mention of the house in Boston or of it being left to Tom.
Seeing her confusion, Marie tried to elaborate as she cleaned up the kitchen while she spoke. "The house would have been Tim's by right, being that he was the oldest, but he didn't want it. He wanted to clear out of the city, start somewhere else, somewhere quieter. Nantucket appealed to him from his memories as a kid there. I guess it all worked out for each of them in the end, and it worked out for me, too! You see, I use to live right down the street, but I spent more time here than in my own home. So in a way, I've always lived here my whole life, too." Marie looked around nostalgically and then added, "We all grew up together, Tom, Tim, and I."
"That's wonderful!" exclaimed Kate, "But you're Irish?" she asked surprised. "I thought you were Italian."
Marie grinned before answering. "Yeah, dark skin, dark eyes - I am Italian, but I'm Irish, too." She explained further, "The Irish and the Italians lived right next to each other in this neighborhood for years. To each, this is their neighborhood. So it was really no surprise, that in such close proximity, they'd fall in love. My mom was Italian, and my dad was Irish. They fell in love, married, the rest is history." She thought carefully for a moment, "Actually, the two races have more in common than people would think."
"Yeah," thought Kate aloud, "Both passionate."
"Exactly," stated Marie with appreciation for Kate's insight.
"How good for you and Tom that your childhood friendship would later become marriage!" remarked Kate astounded. She had always loved stories of childhood sweethearts, the romance of two people having known each other from kids to adulthood and having youthful infatuation turn into adult love. It was profound in her eyes the having known someone for a lifetime.
"It is nice," answered Marie, "But there is something to be said about meeting later in life, as well, and finding your soul mate after many years alone."
She looked Kate right in the eye, and Kate wondered how the conversation had wound up on the subject of her and Tim again as she guessed it now was. Suddenly, the door to the kitchen opened, and Tim popped his head in.
"Hey, Kate! C'mon! Let's go for a drive. I want to show you where I spent a lot of my time as a kid - the O'Malley Pub!" Tim stated proudly with a chuckle. "You don't mind, Marie, do you? We got time before dinner, haven't we?
"Of course, have fun!" Marie urged. "Don't stay too long though!" She couldn't help being the mom.
"We sure won't! We'll just see the place and maybe have one drink, okay, Kate?" Tim responded, turning his attention from his sister-in-law to his friend.
Kate nodded, "Sure, it sounds great!"
Tim held the door open for Kate. As she started to walk past him, she turned back to Marie. "Thanks for lunch, Marie, and for the talk."
"Anytime," said Marie amiably, and she waved, leaning against the counter.
Kate left the room, and as Tim followed her out, he asked, "What were you two discussing?"
Kate looked at him for a moment and stated, "Just girl talk, that's all; just plain, old-fashioned girl talk."
"Ah, I see," said Tim realizing he wasn't going to get the real answer to his question.
It was around four in the afternoon when they headed over to the family bar. It wasn't far in the Eastside of Boston along with a host of other Irish pubs and saloons. As soon as Tim and Kate stepped through the door of O'Malley's, a hearty round of hellos and welcomes greeted them. No one had forgotten Tim, and everyone was certainly happy to see him as he shook hands with the lot of them, who slapped him on the back all the while chiding and teasing him in the process.
Tim gestured grandly around the room to Kate, "This is it - O'Malley's! In this family for three generations and who knows, maybe little Jacob will want to take ownership one day."
Kate liked the place instantly. It had the kind of quaint charm that all truly authentic Irish pubs possessed. It wasn't extremely large or extremely polished, but there was an instant comfortableness about its atmosphere as they settled down to a table, and Tim called to the bartender for two Irish decaf coffees. All the old characters, some who had been frequenting O'Malley's for years, gave Tim and Kate a few knowing looks assuming they wanted to be alone, and so they meandered away.
Tim chuckled, "They think we're lovers."
He seemed to find it extremely amusing as he continued to laugh about it much to Kate's consternation, but she used the opening to ask a question that had been brewing in her mind for a few hours.
"Yes, I noticed that! Just exactly what did you tell people about us?"
Tim stopped laughing and looked innocent as a schoolboy. "Why nothing, Ma'am, except I was bringing a friend around for the holidays. I never even said if you were a boy or girl," he finished as Joe, the bartender, brought over their drinks with a mischievous grin that he turned on them. Kate and Tim both noticed it, and Tim waved him away.
Kate was more convinced than ever that somehow Tim must have given the family and his bar buddies all the wrong impression. "Well, you must have told your brother something that he's been telling here, and by the way, why isn't he here today running things?" Kate asked indignantly.
"He is entitled to take a day off here and there, and he had better, too, when his old brother comes to town if he knows what's good for him!"
Not having really heard his answer, Kate sat still troubled over what the patrons and the family thought of their relationship.
Tim, noticing her expression of worry, leaned forward. "Look, Kate, don't let it bother you. They're just like the people in your office. People will think what they want to think no matter what we might say, so we might as well laugh about it and forget about it," he stated matter-of-factly. "We know the truth, and that's all that counts, right?"
"I guess so," said Kate begrudgingly, "I suppose you're right."
"Of course I'm right!" replied Tim confidently.
"Yes, you always seem to be," quipped an annoyed Kate.
"And what's wrong with that?" Tim asked calmly as another Irishman sauntered over to meet Kate and catch up with Tim.
They passed the hour drinking a few Irish Coffees and enjoying the casual atmosphere of O'Malley's. The elongated bar against one wall was starting to fill up as they were departing. Tim decided wisely that they had better hit the road before they ran into any more characters. There would always be another opportunity to introduce Kate to some of the more familiar barflies the next time they were in town.
When they headed back to the house, it was nearly six o'clock. Where the afternoon had gone, Kate could not fathom, or the day, for that matter. It had not seemed like they were gone that long, but two hours had passed, nevertheless, and rather quickly. As they made their way to the house, Tim suddenly asked Kate out of the blue an odd question.
"What's your middle name? You never told me."
Taken aback, she answered automatically, "Ann."
"Hmmm…I thought so," murmured Tim.
"Why? Why do you want to know?"
"No reason," Tim stated mysteriously.
Before Kate could ask him his middle name, however, as she was just about to do, they pulled up to the front of the O'Malley household. Recognizing a new car parked out front, Tim grabbed Kate's hand and charged up the stairs, tugging her along behind him.
Opening the door with a bang, Tim, immediately, exclaimed, "Annie, darling! Paddy!" He rushed into the living room to give two wizened creatures a big hug and kiss.
Kate stepped in behind him to witness this exuberant reunion, and Tim turned to introduce her.
"Annie, dear, this is my good friend, Kate Lindstrom. Katie Ann!" Tim announced proudly.
Kate's eyes flew to him. Never had he called her Katie before, and she now knew why he had wanted to know her middle name. It certainly sounded Irish, she had to admit, and suddenly, she was proud, too, of her name, and of her association and friendship with Tim.
He continued, "She shares your namesake. Oh, Kate, this is Annie O'Shea."
"Good Irish name Kate. Very glad to meet you, my dear," stated the plucky, little lady with the rather think brogue who turned twinkling eyes up to Kate as she spoke. Turning to Tim, she remarked, "What a pretty thing she is!"
Tim grinned. "I agree with you, Annie," he whispered to her though loud enough for Kate to hear, who only blushed at the commentary being made of her. "And this is her rascal of a husband, Paddy O'Shea, who is my namesake."
Suddenly, Kate knew Tim's middle name as she looked at him for confirmation.
Tim answered her wordless question. "My middle name is Padriac after Paddy here."
She merely smiled at Tim in acknowledgment as she was now being confronted by the smallish, gentlemanly figure shaking her hand and smiling.
"How do you do, my dear?" Paddy greeted her in a rich brogue to match his wife's.
Kate nodded and looked upon them as if she were seeing Ireland itself for if ever there were two more Irish characters than these two, she'd be hard-pressed to find them! They each held a special light about them and spirit in their manner that was at once jubilant and youthful, despite their many years.
Tim continued the introductions. "Annie and Paddy were my grandparents' two oldest and dearest friends, and then my parents', as well."
Annie explained further, "Yes, bless their hearts, God rest their souls. We met them when they first come over from the old country. They were so young, and we had been here a few years. We took them under our wings, and we all four became such good friends." She started to get misty-eyed with nostalgia at remembering old friends.
As Kate listened with rapt interest, Tim walking around behind her, interjected, "Paddy and Annie just celebrated two years ago their sixtieth wedding anniversary."
Kate did not fail to notice the special emphasis placed on the number. "Why that's wonderful!" she remarked, "Congratulations!"
"Yes, yes, all these years, and she still puts up with me," said Paddy with an impish smile as he put his arm around his wife, who appeared like a brand new bride in the glow of his apparent love.
"Aye, he can be the devil himself at times, but me life has never been dull, and I'd have no other!" she teased as she looked up at him with bliss in her face, even after sixty years. Kate was awestruck.
Marie announced it was time for dinner. As the kids dashed for the table, followed at a more leisurely pace by Paddy and Annie, Tom and Marie, Tim whispered in Kate's ear as she stared after the group, "That's the surprise."
Kate turned to face him. "What? What do you mean?" she asked genuinely confused.
"Annie and Paddy - they're the surprise!" announced Tim triumphantly.
"I don't get it," said Kate, still perplexed.
Tim was more than happy to enlighten her. "I promised you when we first met," Tim began explaining, slowly and deliberately, "that one day I'd show you a good marriage as you were convinced that there were none. Well, there you have it! I just showed you one, sixty-two years of one!"
Kate was stymied, but Tim only challenged her further, "You can't say now that there are no good marriages. As the night goes on, you watch them, and see for yourself."
She stood stupefied as he motioned to her, and with a hand outstretched, said words that once again might have held deeper meaning.
"C'mon, they're waiting for us."
23: A Promise Kept~XXIII~
KATE was quiet through most of the meal that followed that evening as she found herself doing exactly as Tim had suggested. She studied not only Paddy and Annie but also the entire family.
She had always thought her own family tight-knit and close, yet she found with this group of people that surrounded her now a joy that pervaded them as a group; they took delight in each other! Kate understood, at last, Tim's easy-going manner and happy-go-lucky personality.
It's not that as a family they had not known hard times and suffering. There had been troubles and sorrow heaped on them with the loss of both Tim's parents to illness while he was in his twenties and his grandparents' earlier than that. Kate could understand his deep affinity for the O'Shea's, they were his surrogate parents and grandparents rolled into one. No wonder their place in this family was so revered, and they were so loved.
Kate admired the whole family all the more and decided that the Irish families were closest, perhaps, precisely because of their trials and turmoil for they relied on each other for strength, and that, along with their humor and abiding affection, saw them through the worst that life had to offer, and the best.
After dinner, Kate was ushered by Tim to sit next to Annie as he sat down on the floor to play with his niece and nephew once more since he couldn't get enough of them, all the while catching up further with Paddy and his brother, both of whom sat nearest him. Marie sat opposite Kate while Annie worked on her needlepoint.
Annie whispered in confidential tones to Kate, "I'm so glad, dear, that Tim has found a new girlfriend. You're such a nice one, too."
Kate looked at the sweet, matronly lady next to her and smiled. Deciding to end the rumor once and for all, she explained gently, "Oh, Mrs. O'Shea, I'm just a friend, that's all."
"Call me, Annie, dearie, and of course, you are his friend and such a pretty one, too! That last one was pretty, but oh, what a she-devil she was," confided the sprite lady with a roll of the eyes. "No wonder it took Timmy so long to get over it."
"I beg your pardon?" asked Kate, hoping to find out more about Tim's past even though she could tell that Annie still did not comprehend the nature of her relationship with Tim. For the time being, however, Kate could overlook it in light of what she was learning about the man she did call friend.
Annie continued, "Well, don't tell him I told you, but he was engaged once to a real vixen."
Kate turned to Marie who nodded confirmation. Turning back to Annie, Kate waited anxiously for more.
"Oh, she put on airs and pretended to be grand, but she was really nothing more than a trollop in high priced clothing!" Annie giggled slightly reminiscent of a schoolgirl telling a sordid secret as she admitted, "We all secretly despised her, but of course, we had to act pleasant for Tim's sake, don't you know?" Annie breathed a sigh of relief at the memory of the outcome, "But thank the Maker, he found her out – two-timing him with another." All at once, Annie was full of fire and venom, "I could have shot her me self, the devil woman!" Settling down, she let out a sigh. "It was a sad and sordid affair." Annie shook her head as she concluded the tale.
Kate sat stunned. She couldn't imagine any one doing such a thing to Tim. "God, how did he recover from it?" She asked genuinely hurt for him and knowing first hand of such experiences from her own tumultuous past.
"Oh," Annie related, "Tim was young when it happened, and it took time, but he went on; what else could he do? The young do bounce back easier from such heartaches." The corners of Annie's mouth crinkled in a gentle smile. "Luckily for Timmy, he doesn't hold on to the bitterness. That's key, you know?"
And Kate knew it was true as she also knew that it was exactly how they differed, her and Tim, for she did hold onto bitterness from her past, and it was forever coloring her present, as well as affecting her future. She knew she had to let go of it, but she had not, as yet, learned how.
She had often wondered if Tim had dated before or dated presently. She had never asked him, but by what Annie had told her this evening, she realized that she had her answer, at least as far as the past was concerned.
The night ended pleasantly enough as Annie and Paddy both kissed Kate goodbye, making her promise to come and see them next time Tim brought her around. Kate felt as though she had grandparents all over again. Having been without both sets of her own for many years, these newfound friends were a precious gift, she realized.
After saying goodnight to Marie and Tom, raucous Tamara and Jacob having been put to bed hours before, exhausted from the day's activities, Kate settled into her guest room for the night.
She couldn't help thinking of Annie and Paddy. Tim had been right. From everything Kate had observed the whole evening in their presence, they did seem to have the best marriage. They chided each other; they teased each other, but there was a deep affection between them, as well as love. It was clear to anyone who had eyes to see. It made Kate longingly wonder, as it is possible for them, could it be for… A knock on the door interrupted her speculations, and she called out in a slightly, hoarse voice, "Come in."
Tim poked his head in. "It's just me. I just wanted to make sure you had everything you needed."
Kate nodded.
"Good. Well, sleep tight," he started to go.
"I've taken your room, haven't I?" Kate suddenly asked hoping to keep him there a little longer as she looked around at the artifacts left over from his childhood that surrounded her. "This was your room when you were a kid."
Tim stopped in his tracks. He came into the room and nodded. "Mostly everything I took with me. This is what's left just so I can still feel like I'm home when I'm here."
"I'm sorry I took your room," Kate apologized.
"Hey, forget it. I'm sleeping in the kids' room. You can't get better than that!" They both grinned. "Anyway, as Jacob gets older, I'm sure this will become his room. I'd like it to be his room," Tim reflected thoughtfully.
They both smiled, and then Tim turned to leave again. He was almost out the door when he popped back in to say, "This is fun, huh?" Kate nodded again.
"Well, good night," he said.
He had nearly shut the door when Kate called out, "Tim!"
He popped back in again, "Yeah?"
"Thanks, thanks for the surprise," she said simply.
With a grin across his face from ear to ear, Tim stepped back into the room. "I thought you'd enjoy that! Remember, I always keep my promises."
"I guess you do," responded Kate amazed.
He walked back to the door. "See you in morning. Sleep well."
"You, too. Good night," said Kate as Tim looked back before exiting his old bedroom a final time for the evening.
Following her nightly routine, Kate prayed before her little votive candle as she asked the Lord to continue to bless the O'Malleys' and the O'Sheas', especially Annie and Paddy's marriage, and to take away any and all bitterness still left in her own heart. She also said her regular prayer of thanksgiving for the most important people in her life, the ones closest to her, ending as she always did with the one name that stood alone - Tim.
24: The Storm~XXIV~
THE morning brought gray, overcast skies and a few flurries, and when Kate joined the family in the kitchen, Tom was in the midst of giving Tim the weather report.
"They're predicting a pretty, bad one, Tim. Could be up to six inches starting anytime in the afternoon. You sure you don't want to change your plans; stay over another night?"
Tim was listening with his head down while toying with his food when he looked up and caught sight of Kate in the doorway. "Good morning!" he greeted her brightly as he always did when they had slept in such close proximity to each other.
"Good morning," Kate answered back with a smile.
Marie and Tom glanced up just in time to witness the look between Kate and Tim. Kate noticed their exchanged expression as she shuffled into the kitchen as nonchalantly as possible pretending not to notice. Tim, as always, just seemed amused.
Tom spoke immediately. "Listen, Kate, I was just trying to tell my crazy brother that they're predicting this big storm to blow through this area today along with all of the Eastern Seaboard. Sometimes we can get hit pretty hard. Maybe you guys want to consider hauling up here for another night. It might be wiser, safer," he suggested looking towards Kate questioningly as did Marie, Tim appearing as calm as blue sky, while all three waited for her response.
"Well, whatever Tim thinks, I mean he's the driver," replied Kate diplomatically, masking her disappointment because as nice as it had been with Tim and Marie and the kids, Kate had also been looking forward to the next day or so with just the two of them.
Tim registered her downcast face though neither Tom nor Marie noticed. He decided for her. "Well, since you put it that way, Kate, I think we'll head out." He gave her a quick wink that was so fast that only she could have caught it. Tim continued, "I've got the four wheel drive, and it's only about an hour to Hyannis from here. I think we'll get there in plenty of time. Kate might get stranded on the island, but you wouldn't mind, would you, Kate?" He hadn't taken his eyes from her the whole time he spoke.
Tom chuckled and Marie smiled as Kate sat slightly flushed and reddening by the minute. She recovered enough from this latest embarrassment to respond blithely, "No, I love Nantucket; I don't mind getting stranded there one bit, and I'd have a real good excuse to call out of work on Monday."
They all laughed.
"It's settled then," concluded Tim. "We'll leave right after lunch, allow ourselves time in case we run into trouble. I mean it's only an hour from here. Leaving at one will allow a whole extra hour, and we'll make that three p.m. ferry."
"Well, you guys know what you're doing," remarked an incredulous Tom.
"Sure, Sure," said Tim in his relaxed way. "Besides look how many times the weather guys are wrong. It will probably turn out to be nothing more than a flurry or two, maybe just a snow shower."
"It's a flurry or two right now, Tim," reminded Tom.
"Well, I'm sure it will all blow over by lunch time," predicted Tim with a shrug. Kate and Marie looked at each other, as did Tom and Tim.
By lunch it had not blown over. On the contrary, the flurry had turned into a snow shower of one to two inches with no sign of letting up. Tim and Kate peered out the living room window, studying the scene.
Tom walked into the room, calling out to them, "You still want to go?"
"What do you think, Kate?" asked Tim, turning to her.
"It's up to you, you're the driver," she reminded him. She was a little worried, but she trusted him implicitly.
"Hey, what did I get the four wheel drive for if not for conditions like these!" responded a confident Tim.
"You're a nut, Tim!" was all Tom said.
Kate and Tim loaded up the Explorer in the following hour. Then they said their good-byes to the family. Kate was sorry to leave this happy home, but as comfortable as she felt with them, she knew she would not truly relax until it was just her and Tim again by themselves. Nevertheless, she was most appreciative of Tom and Marie's hospitality, and she felt a special kinship with each member of the O'Malley family as they hugged and kissed her goodbye.
Tamara and Jacob continued to stare as they had the minute Tim and Kate had first walked through the door the day before. It made Kate wonder to herself as she climbed into the car.Gee, are even they in on the rumor?
Tim picked up first his nephew in his arms and then his niece and gave each a bear hug. He hugged and kissed his sister-in-law. Lastly, turning to his brother, he slapped him on the back and then hugged him, as well, as he thanked them both. Joining Kate in the car, he rolled down his window to wave as a frenzy of good-byes and so longs ensued. Good lucks and be carefuls followed in rapid succession.
As Tim began to back out of the driveway, Tom called to him, "Keep your eyes on the road you crazy nut!"
Tim, waving his arm out the window, started down the road. Once out of sight of the O'Malley house, Kate and Tim looked at each other and laughed. They were on their way in a blizzard heading to an island!
"I guess we are a couple of nuts," observed Kate, as she reflected on what they were embarking on. "You, for driving in this, and me, for letting you!"
"Nah, it'll be fine," predicted Tim optimistically. "We've only got to make it to the Cape, which isn't far, and then we're home free!"
"What if they don't run the ferry?" asked a concerned Kate.
"They will," came Tim's definite answer. "Everything will be fine!" Have faith!" he told her casting a glance in her direction while trying to keep his eye on the road as well.
Luckily for them, traffic was light this second day after Christmas, and they were able to make the exit out of Boston easily and without incident. Kate promised herself to remain silent as long as possible in order not to distract Tim from his driving. As difficult as this was for her, she was determined to do so for their mutual safety.
Tim noticed. "Hey, you're not talking! Why not?"
"I don't want to distract you," Kate replied quietly and anxiously without taking her eyes off the road.
"So you're not gonna talk the whole trip, Kate?" Tim asked amazed.
She shook her head.
"I can do more than one thing at once," insisted Tim.
Kate was unconvinced. "Well, maybe you better only do just this one thing right now. I know you're multi-talented and all, but this requires all your attention at the moment."
"Uh, uh," ignoring her admonishment, Tim continued with his own agenda. "I want to know, what did you think of the family?"
Kate responded immediately with enthusiasm, forgetting momentarily the snowy road ahead of them. "Oh, they're great, Tim! Marie, Tom, the kids."
"I thought you'd like them," Tim remarked proudly.
"It's just…" Kate's voice trailed off unsure whether or not to continue.
"Just what?" Tim asked slightly alarmed.
"Well, I don't think the kids liked me much," she stated plaintively.
"What makes you say that?"
"They just stared at me much of the time like I was some kind of space creature or something!" Kate answered in all seriousness. "Like I was from Mars!"
Tim laughed in earnest. "No, it's just because you're new to them, and they just have to get use to you, that's all. I wouldn't worry about it, Kate."
"Oh, I don't blame them; they're not the firsts. Lots of kids stare at me - total strangers. Ma use to say that maybe they thought me beautiful, so they stared, but I don't buy that!" explained Kate getting agitated by the moment.
"Well, you heard Annie call you pretty," Tim reminded her, "and not just once but twice."
"You heard her the second time?" asked a shocked Kate.
"I hear everything," commented a cocky Tim. "I'm multi-talented, remember?" he teased.
Kate shook her head. "Well, older people don't know – they can't see."
"Annie's eyesight is as keen as when she was a girl, and old people see more than you think!" Kate was unresponsive. Tim continued, but in a different vein. "My opinion is that the kids stared because they think they're seeing an angel," he said in complete sincerity.
Kate stared at him for a second or two in total disbelief before letting out a fierce Ha! "Yeah, right! If that isn't the biggest bit of Irish blarney I ever heard. What outrageous things you say!" She tried to laugh but it was choked off.
"You don't take compliments well, do you?" Tim asked in a clipped tone, still speaking with great seriousness but more forcibly now. Before she could answer, he plowed on. "You either say nothing and shrug or you scoff like you just did. Why is that?"
Kate sat for a moment and thought even as she noted the tenseness between them now. "Oh, I don't know… maybe it's because the compliments aren't true," then she thought and corrected herself, "or else I don't believe they are true!"
"Kate, have I ever lied to you?"
"No, not that I recall."
"Then you have no reason to doubt what I say, right, even if it does sound like blarney as you say; so believe what I tell you is true! My niece and nephew talk to me, and they happened to tell me that they thought you an angel," Tim finished with flourish and fervor and in total honesty.
Kate said nothing but just stared straight ahead.
"What are you thinking?" asked Tim cautiously, briefly glancing her way.
"I'm thinking that your niece and nephew must think angels are dogs," she remarked slowly and flatly.
Before the words were even completely out of her mouth, Tim responded in a flash. "Kate! Do you really have that low an opinion of yourself?" he asked appalled.
Sensing his agitation now, she tried to explain herself. "Well, when you go through much of your young life being called a dog, you begin to believe it!" she told him as she still stared out the window.
"Kate, I don't know who would do such a thing to you, but forget it!" Tim exclaimed adamantly and not without some anger to his voice. He forged on as forcefully as ever but while also trying to maintain his calmness.
"You are not a dog! You are an attractive, lovely woman, with a warm and generous heart, and a passionate spirit that shines through in everything you do!" He eyed her for a second, remembering her other great feature. "Plus, you've got a great smile when you choose to use it, so I don't want to hear anything ever again about dogs!" he concluded in a huff.
Kate had never seen him hot under collar, and though she wanted to say thank you, she only asked in a little more subdued voice than his own, "Do you never see the bad in people?"
Tim, in a calmer voice himself now, answered, "I choose not to look for it." As Kate sat there in silent perplexity, he added this afterthought, "And in you, Kate, the bad is far outweighed by the good." He glanced again at her to see if she was registering anything he had said.
Kate happened to not agree with him, holding a different opinion of herself, but she sat quietly stunned by his assessment of her. Fearful, however, of where the conversation would turn, she decided to end it as delicately as possible as she turned to him and stated, "You're too much, Tim O'Malley! You're just too good to be true!"
"Thank you," responded Tim cheerily as he always did when he himself was accepting what he considered a compliment. He was once again his old self, acting and reacting in his best affable manner.
Kate shook her head, and they both laughed lightly as they continued down the road.
25: On The Road~XXV~
TWO hours later, Kate was laughing hysterically as she recalled a memory sparked by something Tim had said. He challenged her to tell him what was so humorous.
"I know what you're laughing at! It's because I said Tim and Tom in the same breath, right? I know that every time you heard it this past day or so, you fought back laughing!" he said with much amusement in his voice.
"Well, it is kind of comical you have to admit," remarked Kate, her laugh fading into a giggle.
"Yeah," Tim admitted, "my parents had a great sense of humor. They must have foreseen how funny it would be calling our names all through the neighborhood." He chuckled at the thought of it.
"Hey, it's not so bad. I knew a family once where two of sons were called Tom and Jerry, imagine that?" she offered playfully.
"I never understood why my folks didn't name me Thomas though as the first born. I would have liked to have been named after an apostle," he said giving the matter half-serious consideration.
"No, that wouldn't have suited you at all. You could never have been named after Doubting Thomas. You never doubt!" stated Kate with absolute conviction. "You're always sure of yourself and everything! Tim suits you," decided Kate assuredly. "I'm glad you're named Tim." Kate looked ahead quietly pleased as if his suitable name defined that everything was right with the world.
Tim peered at her for a moment basking in her appraisal of his character. Then turning his eyes back to the road, he observed, "Well, I know one thing I'm sure about now…We haven't made much headway in the time we've been on the road. We're only half way there. That accident a ways back didn't help," he determined. He continued with his assessment. "I don't think we're gonna make that three p.m. ferry."
"No?" asked Kate absent-mindedly. She wasn't thinking of the weather. Her thoughts were on another matter.
Tim hearing the faraway sound to her voice glanced over to see her dazed expression but not understanding, he merely responded as usual. "No, especially since it's almost four now!" He looked to see that his words seem to have no effect. He merely shrugged.
"Oh," responded Kate automatically, still deep in thought. Then suddenly and without warning, she snapped out of her trance with this question for him. "Why didn't you tell me about that girl?"
Confused, Tim asked, "What girl?"
"The one a decade ago that you were engaged to in Boston."
Tim was taken aback. His eyes shifted quickly from the road to her and then back again. "Whoa, that was like a bolt of lightning out of the blue! Where did that come from?"
Kate stared ahead. "The thought just occurred to me. I was just wondering."
Tim shook his head in amazement. Seeing that she was still waiting for his response, he answered directly, "I suppose I never told you because it's past." Mischievously he grinned. "Is that what you and Annie were discussing in secret tones last night? Did she tell you it had been ten years?"
"Yes, that's what we were discussing" replied Kate honestly, still staring ahead, "but no, I guessed the time line figuring it was another reason for your leaving Boston when you did."
"Your guess was close," Tim answered. "I let go of it a long time ago, Kate," he stated with a peaceful calm.
For a few minutes, neither spoke a word; Kate seemed satisfied though Tim wondered why she had brought up the subject. Was she just curious or was there more to it, but he put the whole matter out of his mind realizing that they had better make a decision soon about their situation as far as the ferry and the weather.
Tim suggested, "How about we stop and get a cup of coffee? Then maybe the snow will let up a bit. That will give us time to plan our next strategy. What do ya think?"
"Sounds like a plan," she agreed.
They drove for another thirty minutes before they found a place that was open. Inside, there were just a few weary travelers as Tim and Kate moved for a booth.
"Just coffee, please," Tim told the waitress as she approached with menus.
"Maybe we should get something to eat now, in case there isn't another place open later," Kate remarked.
"Mmmm," Tim considered aloud. "That isn't a bad idea, especially since I can't guarantee anything is at the house except maybe the fixings for an Irish Coffee," he told her with a wink of the eye.
"Well, I'll hold you to that," laughed Kate, "but for now let's order. Can we see two menus, please?" Kate turned her attention to the waitress who'd been standing by throughout their conversation waiting patiently for instructions. The disinterested girl handed them their menus and left.
"This will be an early dinner," observed Tim as he perused the menu, "but, hopefully, it will hold us over."
"It will hold us over," affirmed Kate. "And the Irish Coffees will be our bit of reward later, and our dessert!" she concluded triumphantly with a nod.
"What a keen bit of thinking, Miss Linstrom!" Tim complimented, impressed with her positive outlook towards the outcome of their situation. Her sunny disposition was in direct contrast, he noted, to her usual attitude when they were in a tight spot.
The waitress having taken their orders left Tim and Kate to wait for their food, which Tim guessed would come quick due to the lack of clientele in the establishment. He was wrong, however, for that exact reason. They didn't receive their orders until nearly five p.m. due to the fact that half the staff was sent home on account of the weather and the slow business, as the waitress explained to them when they asked.
Tim took it all in stride though, even saying to Kate at one point, "This is fun, huh?"
"Your brother's right; you are crazy!" was Kate's response.
"Why? When we're having this great adventure – traveling companions in a winter storm! It's fun!" he reiterated.
"It'll be more fun when we're safe and out of this storm," said Kate sensibly. "I'm beginning to think we should have listened to your brother, maybe."
Her positive attitude of earlier seemed to be fading away as the minutes ticked by, and Tim was well aware of it. He merely waved her remark off. "We'll be fine, you'll see," but then he caught sight of something out the window. "Geez!"
Kate turned in time to see a massive snow squall descend upon the parking lot so intensely that they couldn't even see across the street. "Oh, Tim!" she exclaimed alarmed.
"It's okay," he assured her quietly but somewhat distractedly. "It'll die down. They never last, but just the same, maybe we better hurry."
She nodded as they both began to take bigger mouthfuls. Within twenty minutes, they were up and at the register to pay the check.
"I was thinking, maybe we could catch the six o'clock Hy-line high speed and still make it tonight; in fact, we'd get there even faster," proposed Tim, cheerfully, as he took out his wallet.
A customer at the counter overheard and piped in, "You talkin' about catching a ferry out of Hyannis?"
"Yeah, we were thinking about it!" shot back Tim while he handed the waitress their check along with a twenty-dollar bill.
"Well, you can forget that!" exclaimed the stranger. "They've canceled all the ferries to the islands! This is a Nor'easter we're having!" he sounded off to Tim as though he thought him to be the world's biggest idiot. "Don't you listen to the weather reports?" the man scoffed without waiting for a reply as he looked away disdainfully, shaking his head.
Tim turned to Kate, who merely remarked, "Well, your adventure gets better and more interesting all the time." Then she asked calmly, "Now what?"
He took his change from the waitress as he thought, "Well, if we could make it to Hyannis, we could stay the night with Johnny. I mean he has a couch and a recliner he could set us up on."
The minute the words were out of his mouth, Tim realized that the prospect didn't sound very appealing, and judging by Kate's expression, neither did it to her.
"Well, should we head back?" was Tim's next question.
"No, I think it would be worse, and I can't stand making progress only to lose ground or have to go backwards or backtrack," came Kate's definitive answer. "We'll just have to get a motel somewhere for the night."
They looked at each other for a moment and then looked away quickly both absorbed in the idea she had just proposed.
"Okay," said Tim with a new resolve. "There are a few I know closer to the Cape. Let's go before the storm gets any worse." As an afterthought, he added, muttering under his breath, "If it can get any worse!" They headed out.
As they drove, there was a heavy silence between them. After about an hour, Tim spoke. "I'm sorry, Kate. I'm sorry I got you into this with my devil-may-care attitude!" He kept his eyes fixated on the snowy road ahead.
"It's as much my fault as yours. I wanted to go, too," she assured him, which caused each to glance the other's direction for a split second, and then back to the precarious conditions before them. "As long as we can get to a motel or inn, we'll be safe," Kate encouraged. "Let's just continue on a bit more."
"Yeah, we should be seeing one of those places soon," Tim enthused. "We have to be near Hyannis by now."
It was after six o'clock, and it was dark. There was still a blinding snow all around them, but Tim pushed forward slowly but surely. They had gone by a few motels that had No Vacancy signs on and others that simply looked closed for the season. Finally, they came upon an establishment, if it could be called that, right off the main road.
"Ramshackle little place, isn't it?" commented Tim, then optimistically projected, "but it might not be too bad inside." Looking at Kate for affirmation, he asked, "Unless you want me to keep going?"
"No, we should stop. We don't know what's up ahead. We could find more closed places or worse places than this. We better stop," she repeated. Tim agreed as he pulled into the place.
Once inside the office, they met an aged clerk, leaning over the counter giving Tim and Kate the once over. A typical New Englander, he asked the obvious, "Been travelin'?"
"Yeah, does it look it?" retorted the usually placid, friendly Tim, who was now beginning to feel the wear of the day upon him and in no mood for an encounter with another know-it-all casual observer reminiscent of the one at the diner.
"Yep," the old clerk continued without missing a beat in his distinct New Englander accent and manner and oblivious to Tim's sarcasm or at least choosing to ignore it, possibly even amused by it. "We're ya from?"
"We just came from Boston. It took us four hours just to get down the road!" exclaimed an acerbated Tim.
"Yep, that'll happen in a Nor'easter," the innkeeper stated in his matter-of-fact fashion.
Tired of small talk, Tim cut to the chase, while a silent Kate stood in the background observing the little scene before her. "Do you have two rooms available for the night?"
"Nope, all sold out," came the plaintive answer.
"Your No Vacancy sign isn't lit."
"Nope, it's broken!" was the man's response, along with the added unwelcome remark, "Not a good time to be travelin', I guess."
Becoming increasingly annoyed by the minute, Tim just glared at the man, then in his calmest voice, though somewhat forced at this juncture, asked, "Are there any inns further up the road that you know would have vacancies?"
Once more came the old man's standard reply, "Nope! All booked up on account of my overflow."
Tim looked back at Kate, who still stood silently by observing and reflecting on their predicament, a little fearful, though she tried not to let on. "Well, I guess we could sleep in the car," was Tim's semi-serious statement.
The up to now reticent innkeeper suddenly bellowed, "Wait a minute! I have one room left. I rarely mention it 'cause have hard time sellin' it. Nobody seems to like it, though it's a perfectly, decent room. It has one double bed and a daybed in it. Do you want it?" He studied them both as he awaited their decision.
Tim looked once again to Kate who looked worried but nodded a half-hearted yes. Tim turned to the innkeeper and said at once, "We'll take it."
26: Winter's Touch~XXVI~
THE room was at the far end of the motel. It was small and dark, but at least it had a bathroom and seemed fairly clean.
Tim carried their bags into the room, closed and locked the door, shutting out the storm, which still raged outside. At this point, Kate grabbed her bag and made a beeline for the bathroom, without a word to Tim. There she followed her nightly prayer routine as always except next to the toilet and without her little candle and while sitting on the edge of the tub as opposed to kneeling as she normally would. It was the way in which she always had to pray if she was on the road with others such as when she traveled with her parents.
In the meantime, in the room, Tim had taken off his coat and watch and was studying the room and, particularly, the door to the bathroom. He sat down on the edge of bed wondering and waiting. After a few moments, he stood up and moved to the door. Putting his ear to it, he tried to listen for any sounds of life beyond. Not hearing anything, he took up his place on the bed again.
On the other side, Kate, having finished the prayers and hygiene, stood with her hand upon the doorknob, realizing that at some point she would have to enter the room. Finally, taking a deep breath, she bit the bullet and turned the knob. As she opened the door, there sitting across from it, practically, was Tim in an expectant but relaxed posture. As she entered, he sat bolt upright.
"Hey, I was starting to get worried!" an alert Tim exclaimed.
Kate moved past him, apologizing on the way. "Sorry, I know I take a long time. I tried to hurry, but I'm done now, anyway," said Kate in a flurry. "It's all yours."
"That's all right. I didn't mean you had to rush," Tim mentioned quietly.
Kate nodded as she began fixing the daybed to sleep on.
"Kate," Tim interrupted her activity, "You can have the full size bed." He indicated it with a sweep of the hand.
"Nope, I'm all set," she remarked as she laid her things down neatly and then flopped herself down on top of the bed. Facing her body towards the wall, she drew a blanket over her.
"Kate?" came Tim's inquiring voice.
"Yeah?"
"What are you doing?" he asked incredulous.
"I'm going to sleep!" she answered perturbed.
"But it's not even seven o'clock."
"I know, but we'll need an early start tomorrow and all."
"We don't have to catch the ferry until nine fifteen," he reminded her. "How early a start do we need?"
"I'm sleepy," Kate stated succinctly.
"You're going to bed like that, dressed like that?" Tim persisted.
Kate turned to look over her shoulder at him. "What's wrong with how I'm dressed?" she demanded.
Tim gingerly replied, "Well, nothing at all if you're planning on taking an Alaskan sled ride sometime in the night with all those layers on. If that's what you're up for, then I'd say that you're dressed appropriately!" He smiled wryly.
Ignoring his humor, Kate defended herself and her manner of attire. "I always wear lots of layers to bed for frequently I'm cold," she answered in a huff.
"Your coat included?" he retorted.
Kate glared at him as he stood calmly in his place with the corners of his mouth twisted up slightly in an amused grin. Suddenly, she sat up, and throwing off the blanket, she struggled to get out of her coat, which she then flung onto the floor. She wore pajamas but over them a sweatshirt top and a sweater! The action behind her, she then reached for the blanket, pulling it up to her neck as she lay down once more. She looked over to Tim who had watched the comic proceedings in silence but with a chuckle inside him. He had to admit to himself that she could certainly make him laugh.
"There, that better?" she asked sarcastically.
Tim was laughing to himself, but he hid it from her. "Much better, a hundred percent better!" he teased. He watched her turn back over, then he started to push down the covers of the bed that he had offered to her. "How about a little TV?" he asked as he sat down again.
"If you want," came the voice from the under the covers.
"No, not especially," Tim said blandly. "Too bad we didn't have a game or some cards we could play," he perked up as he looked about the room for something to do that would be fun and would pass the time as conversation didn't seem likely to develop or anything else for that matter.
"Aren't you tired, Tim, after all that driving you did today," she asked in a weary voice.
"Kate, I only drove seventy miles," he reminded her. "It's not exactly a far-reaching distance, though I admit at times it felt like seven hundred miles at the rate we were traveling."
She made no reply but merely continued to lie there in the position against the wall. Tim got up and walked to the window. Peering out, he could see that it was still snowing and coming down in a blinding fury, bordering on white out conditions.
Kate looked over at him standing there. "Is it still snowing?" she asked interested.
Noting that she was excited for the first time the whole evening, he elaborated as much as possible as he relayed to her what he was seeing. A thought occurred to him that just maybe he might even be able to get her up.
"Yeah, pretty much. It's really coming down in truckloads! In fact, it's coming down so hard, I can't even see across the road! It's blanketing everything!" he exclaimed.
Kate, who had sat up as he began to describe the scene for her, could stand it no longer. She threw off the blanket once more and rushed over to see for herself. It was the reaction Tim had hoped for.
"I knew that would get you out of bed," said Tim satisfied.
She grinned at his antics as she then turned her full attention to outside the shelter of their room. Both of them stood at the window looking out with eyes full of wonder and delight. Kate recalled to herself that she had not even taken the time to really watch the snowfall as she normally would so wrapped up in their predicament had she been, but now she watched with complete abandon, joy, along with a certain amount of giddiness.
They stood very near each other. Tim held the curtain open for her, which meant that his arm was over her head and his stance leaning her way. She seemed not to notice as she studied the wet flakes glittering in the light of the street lamp outside.
At one point, Kate looked up at Tim and smiled, which automatically caused him to smile back as they continued to watch the scene before them. He then realized that it was the first time he had seen her smile in so many hours, and he began to feel for the first time all night lighthearted and encouraged.
Kate watched a few moments longer, finally breathing a sigh and observing, "It's so beautiful, so peaceful. Notice how it quiets everything? That's what I love best about the snow – how it makes everything quiet and still as it mutes out all the noise of the world."
She continued unhindered and uninhibited, "Plus, look how the snow on the ground sparkles like jewels!" She spoke her thoughts aloud, unaware and unguarded, as she shared with him all that was in her at that moment.
"How can people not like snow when it's so heavenly, so ethereal? God knew what He was doing when He made it! It slows us down; makes us take time out. It gives us a break from our regular routine and turmoil," Kate stated as one in a trance.
Then suddenly, she halted, all at once aware that she had been rambling on. She looked to Tim whom she had been semi-consciously aware of beside her as he had been murmuring little affirmations to her observations while he had watched the scene with her, but who now completely, unabashedly stared at her ignoring what was going on outside.
As the focus of his attention became her, Kate immediately fell silent. Turning, she walked back to the bed, and lying down, automatically pulled the covers up over her like a sick child, the previous display of emotion all at once gone.
Tim stood at the window a moment longer, alternating between the scene outside and her still form in the bed near him. Then drawing the curtains closed, he walked to the bathroom (grabbing his bag along the way), and closed the door behind him. He sat down on the edge of the tub just as Kate had, but instead of praying, he ran his hands through his unruly hair and tried to clear his mind.
In the room, Kate pulled out her rosary beads and began to pray. Now she wondered what kept him occupied. After a time, she heard running water and the toilet flush, then the bathroom door flew open and Tim emerged. She glanced over in time to see that he had changed into sweat pants and a sweatshirt. Just as he climbed into bed, she turned her gaze quickly away.
Tim didn't think he could sleep this early, so pulling a book from his bag, he tried reading for a spell, asking Kate if she would mind to which she only grunted no. He was aware throughout that she still lay motionless on the little daybed. Occasionally, he would cast a glance in her direction to see if she stirred, which she never did. Frustrated and unable to concentrate, he set the book on the nightstand and looked at his watch, which read eight p.m. Shaking his head, he turned out the light. A few moments later, out of the darkness, Tim's voice called out.
"Kate?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you asleep?"
"Nope, obviously. What's on your mind?"
"I was wondering if you're planning on sleeping on top of the bed all night."
It had occurred to him earlier that she never pulled all the covers down, just merely the top blanket.
"Probably."
"Why?" Tim asked. "Are you planning on there being a fire or something where you have to make a quick escape?" he questioned genuinely stymied.
"I just don't like sleeping in beds I'm unsure of," came her plaintive answer, the whole while still keeping her back to him though he could barely make out her form now in the darkness.
"Oh," he pretended to comprehend, then continued quickly with another thought. "Then that means that you did like sleeping in my bed!" The minute the words were out of his mouth he realized how they had sounded, and he could hear her twist her body round to face him in her shock and confusion.
"What?!"
"I mean … the one at my house," Tim corrected, exhaling a quick sigh.
"Oh." Now that Kate understood, she relaxed her body and turned back over again, answering him. "Yes, of course," she responded simply.
Tim smiled to himself in the darkness. Another few moments passed.
"Kate?"
"Yeah?"
"Aren't you gonna light the candle?"
The question came from out of the blue, from out of left field, and Kate was taken aback.
"What candle?" she asked cautiously, suspiciously, not turning around this time but continuing to lay on her side waiting for his response which seemed to take forever in the darkness.
"You know, the one you carry with you. The one you say your prayers by," he explained matter-of-factly and deliberately.
Kate let out an inaudible gasp. "How do you know about that?" she demanded.
"Well," he recollected slowly, "Remember I caught you the first time at my house on that first night that you stayed, and I couldn't figure out then what you were up to until I was passing your room the next day, and I saw the prayer book beside the candle on the night stand."
Tim visualized the whole incident in his head as he related it to her; it was still that vivid to him these couple of months later for he had thought about it many times since. "Plus, I smelled the fragrance on those nights and this past night at my brother's in my old room," he concluded.
"Damn," Kate mumbled, vexed at having been discovered, "Damn those scented candles. I'll have to remember to get unscented next time!"
"It's okay, I like them," Tim assured her as he still pursued his original inquiry. He was determined to learn the answer. "But you still haven't answered my question. Why aren't you following your usual routine tonight?"
Kate, getting exasperated, informed him, "I already said my prayers in the bathroom without the candle, and I don't normally do them in front of somebody anyway!"
"Not even me?" came Tim's quiet voice from the dark.
For just a second, Kate thought she heard a hurt tone reflected in his words, but since she couldn't see his face to gauge his emotion, she dismissed it as merely her imagination. She reiterated in the simplest terms she could and so that there would be no further discussion, "Not in front of anybody, not even my family! So please don't be offended. It's nothing personal. It's just a very private thing, that's all." She then waited for his response. None came.
"Tim?" she now called out to him, suddenly afraid that she had hurt him.
"Yeah?"
Kate noted that his voice sounded normal, for the most part, no underlying emotion of any kind was readily apparent. She didn't know what else to say. She hoped she hadn't offended him, but of all the things to ask her! Maybe one day she would be able to pray before him, but not now. She just didn't feel comfortable yet to share something so personal to her.
For his part, Tim seemed to have been trying to tell her at first that it was all right for her to feel comfortable around him with anything. He didn't say it aloud, but he seemed to imply it. He did not tell her, however, that it was all right for her to not feel comfortable. He also did not say that it would come in time. He just simply didn't say anything more about it, and so Kate decided to let it go.
"Good night," was her final say.
"Good night," he echoed back.
And as she lay there trying to sleep, Kate reflected and groaned inwardly that it was going to be a very, long night.
27: The Long Night~XXVII~
DURING the early hours of the morning, Tim stirred and awoke suddenly as if from a bad dream. He had lain awake for such a length of time the night before and had slept uneasily at first. However, some time after ten or eleven, he had fallen fast asleep. Shortly after that, he had begun to dream, mixed up, jumbled images and not always comforting. Once awake, he could not recall the details of which, only recognizing that it had to do with Kate, somehow, and their friendship.
Tim tried to fall back to sleep, maybe to pick up where he had left off though he knew it was futile as dreams seldom worked that way. Moreover, he appreciated the fact that because he had awakened suddenly, it had probably not been a good dream.
Kate had often told him of her dreams. She had an uncanny ability to recall in vivid details her subconscious meanderings, especially upon waking. Tim wished he had her gift now. Of course, he also was well aware that her writing of the details of her dream-life in her journal helped her to remember. He wondered if she were dreaming now, and if so, was she dreaming of him.
She would write in her letters of her dreams and in person tell Tim of the ones that included him, but he often had sensed that she was leaving certain details out or that she skipped over whole parts as she was apt to say when he pressed for an answer: I forgot; though he knew better for her memory was exceptional in this regard, as in most areas.
As Tim lay there pondering these things, he realized he was wide awake and restless. As a remedy, he got up and walked over to the window to see if it was still snowing out. Peeking out, he discovered, to his amazement, that it had stopped, and that the moon was now shining bright and full.
A good, couple of feet had accumulated on the ground over night, and for a moment, he considered waking Kate to share the scene with her, but when the outside street lamp shone in from where he held the curtain open, casting a soft light upon her peaceful, sleeping form, he decided against disturbing her. Instead, he walked over to the little daybed and stood over her motionless body. He smiled at what he found.
Sometime in the night, she must have felt cold for she had climbed in under the covers of the bed and had pulled the outer blanket and bedspread up to her ears. Tim could not see her face, only her closed eyes and her hair sprawled out across the pillow.
He bent down on his haunches as he started to reach out to touch her long strands. At the last minute, however, he stopped himself for fear of scaring or rousing her from sleep, not to mention having to explain what he was doing there in the first place. Rather, he adjusted the covers closer around her, and then straightening up, he took one last look before heading back to bed. Maybe now he would sleep better or so he hoped.
Morning came quicker than Tim would have anticipated, and he woke to find Kate already fully dressed, with her coat on, and waiting for him. She was sitting in a chair near the window and staring at him. He quickly hurried about in an effort to catch up as he rushed to the bathroom, muttering on the way a quick Good Morning to which she only nodded.
As he left her alone in the main part of the room, Kate picked up the journal on her lap and looked over that which she had just finished writing, an entry of the night before and of the dreams she had had in that night, fantastic ones, numerous and continual. She was now following another routine she never shared with any other person around, her writing, especially, her journal writing.
The completed entry also included a note about the fact that when she had awoken she had found the covers to have been higher around her than when she had adjusted them earlier. She had glanced over at Tim to find him fast asleep, but she knew instantly that he had fixed them about her, and she wondered how she had not heard him.
As Kate closed the book (with its precious piece of dried heather between its pages), and slid it away, she turned her chair and her focus out the window and to the day ahead. She knew that if anyone had seen her in that moment, it would have been pointed out to her that her face, which should have been serene on a beautiful morning such as the one she had awoken to, nevertheless, betrayed the worry she felt inside. Luckily, however, no one was around to witness it.
Tim was ready in no time, and as they left the little ramshackle motel, their shelter from the previous night's storm, he and Kate were met with the brilliance of a new, winter's morning, whose sun made the freshly fallen snow blinding with the reflection of its light, causing everything in its path to sparkle. Consequently, Tim felt exhilarated, and as he put their bags in the car, he exclaimed cheerfully, "What a great morning! I love a morning after a storm, don't you?"
He didn't wait for Kate's answer though as he continued on in a flurry. "We should be at the ferry dock in no time." Tim, as yet, had not noticed that he was the only one with any enthusiasm as he inquired, "Should we have breakfast in Hyannis or take a chance on that little place we passed last night down the road?"
Kate had been strangely silent, but now she spoke and not in so cheerful a voice as his but with weariness and with an almost pained expression on her face. "Tim, I was thinking…." He leaned on the back of the car to listen, and so she now had his full attention. "… Maybe we should just forget the rest of our plans. I mean this trip seems to have been cursed since we left Boston. Maybe it's a bad omen or something!"
"Cursed?! What do ya mean?" Tim responded jovially. "We were blessed," he corrected her; "Blessed to be safe, blessed to have found our little friend's place here!" Tim grinned, referencing the curmudgeonly, little clerk from the night before. "It's been a great trip so far, and it can only get better!" he finished in triumphant as he started around to the driver's side.
"Tim!" Kate called to him. He stopped in his tracks to look back at her. She appeared agitated and nervous, and it showed in her voice when next she spoke. "You should just take me to the nearest bus station, and I'll just go home from there."
Her words dropped a bomb of silence between them, and they stood staring at each for a moment. Kate recognized that Tim's cheerful countenance had vanished quickly in light of her request. She tried to continue to meet his gaze but instead only shrunk away at its intensity. Without waiting for his response, she started to turn to walk to her side of the car when shortly she felt a firm grip on her arm halting her. She turned to face him.
"Kate, please don't let fear ruin the weekend!" Tim softly pleaded with a quiet urgency. "Don't let it stop you from doing what we planned!"
She could have protested that she didn't know what he meant or that fear had nothing to do with it, but Kate only looked up into his face, into his eyes and knew that what he had spoken was true. He had read her thoughts and realized her fears. She was afraid, afraid of how close they had been, afraid of what might happen if they were alone again, afraid of herself more than him.
Tim could see each of these thoughts flashing across her face, and he set about to reassure her. "Trust me," he urged, his words layered in meaning.
As she stood there looking up into his eyes, those gray eyes so full of confidence and faith, Kate realized that she did trust him implicitly, so much so that if he had asked her in that millisecond to do so, she truly believed, she just might have handed her life over to him. In that moment, she felt lost in those eyes as she struggled to choose whether fear or trust would win out to determine the final course and outcome of the rest of their weekend.
28: The Prediction~XXVIII~
"IT'S freezing out here!" Kate managed to exclaim, shaking violently all over as she and Tim stood at the bow of the ferry, which was steaming further out to sea in pursuit of its target and destination of the island of Nantucket.
"It's exhilarating!" shouted an elated Tim over the roar of the wind and din of the steam engines.
They had just left the shelter and calm of the Cape and were now out on the wide-open ocean to which the occasional strong gusts attested. Kate and Tim were about the only two standing above deck with most passengers opting instead for the relative warmth and calm of the enclosed cabins, but this was not for Tim, whose hair blew in a hundred different directions from the wind that hammered them in their vulnerable spot at the front of the boat. Only after he had experienced nature's fury in full did he cover his head with his knit hat.
Kate, who loved the cold, was, nevertheless, bundled up from head to toe with only a mere part of her face visible until at last she pulled off the hood of her winter parka. She stood, along with Tim, staring out across the vast expanse of sea and sky stretching before them.
"Hey, you know what would be great?" he remarked with excitement. Before Kate could answer, however, he forged ahead… "If you would spend New Year's on the island!" Again, before she had a chance to reply, Tim continued on rapidly. "It's only a few days away, and since you're leaving on Monday now instead of Sunday, anyway, what's another day or two?"
Kate laughed for a moment amused by his logic and delivery of the proposal. She was also intrigued by the idea, as it were, and a part of her desired very much to take him up on it. She knew that she and Tim would have a great time together for that occasion and all the days they would be together, like always, but she also knew, just as well, that she would miss not being with her family to start the New Year.
She also considered that being the close family they were that they would miss her, too. Too many years had been spent apart from them while she had lived in California. Too many holidays apart and too many spent communicating long distance. No, after some deliberation, Kate came to the quick decision that she had to be back in time for New Year's Eve, and she would be if she left on Monday as scheduled.
"You know I can't," she said aloud with a tone of exacerbation as though she had explained all this before, which she had an hour or so earlier in the car on the way to the dock, and like she had when they had first made their plans for the weekend on the phone months before.
Tim nodded his head in resignation. Then brightening a bit, he stated promptly and decidedly, "Well, we'll just have to celebrate New Year's Eve together earlier, that's all!" Then looking at Kate, he added with a wink, "Maybe we'll go dancing."
She couldn't help laughing at his boyish antics. She had no response but a smile as she turned her gaze back to the ocean. Just then, Tim had a thought, a thought that had occurred to him often, in the past, but now it was suddenly and predominantly on his mind, and he spoke it all at once and purposely.
"You know these little trips we spend together are all well and good, but I know what would be even better." He was sure to emphasize the key words to grab her attention, as he at once did, noting out of the corner of his eye her sudden turn towards him and with an expression of full waiting and anticipation.
"What?" Kate asked, feeling herself nervous and curious, simultaneously.
Tim bit his lip for a moment and with a mischievous light in his eye, declared, "If you were to move to the island."
Kate's mouth opened in an astonished and startled O as it then turned in to a half-laugh followed by another stare. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Not knowing how to react, she followed what was natural to her and began to chortle as she responded, "Yeah, keep dreaming! That's never gonna happen in a million years!" She started to turn away again, flabbergasted at this, one of his more audacious statements to date.
Tim took the derision in stride and, without feeling discouraged, went on calmly, "You don't know what might happen in the future, Kate, how your life's circumstances might change."
Kate said nothing to his last statement but continued to stare straight ahead. She didn't look to see his expression, to see whether he was serious or simply being cute and funny again, but she could feel that he was staring at her.
In the next instant, he turned and leaned his body against the rail so that he was facing ahead now, also, but as he did so, he leaned in towards her, and touching his shoulder to hers, stunned her again with his next remark. "Why I predict, Kate, that within two years you'll be living on the island and that Nantucket will be your home."
She turned just in time to catch the fanciful and, in turn, confident expression on his face as he leaned back and added, "Mark my words – within two years!" He held up two fingers as he repeated it again by mouthing the words.
Feeling a sudden whimsy of her own, Kate laughed giddily and responded, "Two years, huh? You're sure of that?" to which Tim nodded affirmatively with a cocky, self-assured grin that didn't escape Kate's notice, as he stated once again, "Two years."
"O'Malley, the psychic, huh? O'Malley, the fortune teller!" Kate made fun which didn't seem to bother Tim a bit as he realized how stirred up he had gotten her and perhaps to thinking as well. He knew that once she was to thinking of something, she wouldn't let it go for a very, long time. He merely clasped his hands together and agreed, "That's right!"
Kate stared at him a moment longer in disbelief and then she dared, "You want to bet?" He gave his ascent with a quick nod. Kate grinned. "All right, you're on!" she declared. "We'll see in two years where I am! We'll see how close your prediction comes to fruition or if it does!" she challenged with a locked jaw and a determination all her own. "What's the prize for this wager, anyway?
"That will be decided later," jested Tim. "Deal?"
"Deal!"
At that, they shook on it, a firm handshake, and then let go. Tim felt a deep satisfaction as they both turned their attention forward, Kate staring ahead all the while as if she were very well trying to see her future on that horizon before them.
29: Gifts~XXIX~
KATE and TIM brought to a close the near week spent together with a little celebration with just the two of them at the house in Madaket. They both cherished this time now that they could relax and enjoy each other's company unfettered and uninterrupted, as they did around Tim's real pine Christmas tree that sparkled with undiminished light in the darkened living room. The only other light setting off the cozy scene originated from the fire burning brightly that he had built to warm them and for the general purpose of atmosphere, which he knew Kate appreciated and loved.
Tim surprised her by presenting another gift that he had kept under the tree awaiting her visit to the island at this special time. It was his intention that this would be the perfect moment in which to have her open it before him only, and in his house, just the two of them, no distractions. Kate was at first upset as she had nothing else for him, but as he had told her many times in the past on other occasions, and as he told her now, her visit was the best gift she could offer him. Aptly, he put to rest her fears in that regard as he insisted she open the small package.
Kate was stunned upon taking the wrap off and opening the box to discover enclosed a beautiful, glass ornament of a star that Tim had created special for her and for their first Christmas spent together. She knew it was unique, one of kind; none other existed of it in his store as it had been made, expressly, for her. He told her she could either take it with her back to Connecticut to place on her own tree or she could leave it with him, and he would keep it for her for the next year at Christmas when she would come to visit again as he was certain that she would. Then she could hang it on the tree herself, as she did now.
Kate delighted in the knowledge of two things: One, that Tim had presented her with such a lovely gift that his hands had crafted for her, just as with the bird pendant he had made for her the year before; the second piece of truth that thrilled her was that he had mentioned the latter option of what to do with the gift, which meant that Tim expected and hoped to see her again next year. Kate told him to hold it for her, and around the same time next Christmas when they would meet, she would do as he had proposed.
Though they had spent nearly a week, the time had passed so quickly, and because of all he had given to her, Kate thought and worked especially hard in the months ahead to come up with a gift that would be especially worthy of him and would have greater meaning.
The next visit scheduled for April would mark two occasions - his birthday and an anniversary of sorts. The date would fall around the anniversary of their first meeting two years earlier. They had both been aware of the date the year before, but neither had made mention of it. Whether intentional or not or maybe because she had visited a week later, whatever the reason, in their minds, they both acknowledged the occasion just the same.
This time, two years after they had met, they were ready to commemorate that they had known each other that long. Therefore, both Tim and Kate were excited to celebrate and to recognize that the past two years had been good ones in their lives, and Kate, in particular, wanted to reciprocate with the perfect gift in mind.
She had been secretly planning it since his birthday the previous year when he had taken her to Altar Rock. Something Tim had mentioned at the time had given her the idea, and so Kate had made a mental note to recall for her next April visit, which was now upon her.
Hence, Kate had searched from one store to the next in quest of the one item she knew would surprise Tim the most. She wanted it to be the biggest she could find, and the best, the one with the most flair! Finally, having found it in some out of the way place, it was all things in one, everything she had been looking for, and she spared no expense, no, not for Tim, not after all he had done for her. Because she was so in the spirit of the find, she even picked up a cheap version for herself.
Kate couldn't wait to see Tim's face when she presented him with the gift. This was the thought most prevalent in her mind all the while she was packing and on the entire ride to the airport. She smiled to herself with anticipation of what his response would be though she knew that it would not nor could not ever equal all he had given to her over the past two years. The flight alone that he had purchased for her was well worth two hundred dollars, but she tried not to think of it in monetary terms, as she knew Tim would never do. She was giving him a gift from the heart, which had the most value, and she believed he would see it that way. In the least, she hoped he would appreciate the thought behind it.
All this ran through Kate's head as she sat in the back seat of a limousine on route to the airport. Since she had not had to worry or incur the additional cost of the flight this time, thanks to Tim's generous gift of the paid ticket clutched in her hand, Kate had splurged on a very extravagant luxury and had decided to treat herself to this little extra of paid transport. This was to give her family a break also from having to drive her and to make it a little more convenient due to the time of day in which she was traveling, which was earlier than usual, at Tim's request, from when she would normally fly.
With her bag and parcel securely tucked in the cargo hold, which Kate had supervised, watching anxiously to make certain nothing was broken, she settled into her seat for the forty-five minute flight to Nantucket.
Kate had never been as excited before. Her insides tingled with nervous anticipation, and yet, her outside demeanor was calm and sedate, and confident.
As her plane approached the island, Tim was busily locking up the shop, closing early in order to meet Kate's plane on time. With his last item completed, the last customer gone, he hastened out the door.
On the way to the airport, Tim was pondering the weekend ahead with a smile on his face. He pulled into the airport just as one plane was about to land. Stepping out of his car and looking up into the mid-day sky in the direction of the commuter flight, Tim knew instinctively that it was Kate's, and he smiled more broadly.
Although it was not procedure to allow non-passengers onto the tarmac, all the airport personnel knew Tim, and so they allowed him to stand just outside the entry to the gate as he waited for Kate to disembark.
In a relatively short amount of time, the plane was emptied of its nine passengers, luggage and packages were unloaded, and Kate, with her bag and parcel in hand, was making her way across the tarmac to Tim, who actually appeared somewhat subdued as she approached him.
They stood facing each other for a moment as they had done on so many other occasions before now, so many other arrivals and departures over the past two years. Then Tim gave Kate a quick kiss and hug before she even had the chance to place the items she carried down. Taking her bag from her, they walked to the car arm in arm, in silence, a comfortable, leisurely silence.
As Tim unlocked the cargo area of the Explorer to lay her bag inside, he was the first to speak with a devilish tone to his voice and a glint in his eye. "Well, what should we do first?"
Kate looked up at him and with a gleam in her own eye to match his, she replied, "I have an idea," as she handed him the package she had been carrying. In a matter of fact voice, she added, "Happy Birthday."
Tim glanced down at the rather large parcel Kate held out to him and which he had been wondering about from the moment she had stepped off the plane and retrieved her luggage. As he took it from her now, with no clue to its contents, he looked at her with an expression that seemed to beg, "What are you up to?"
Kate simply stood, grinning slyly, and said not a word.
30: Flying~XXX~
TIM ran as if he were in a race with himself as he looked over his shoulder to see his kite lifted up and carried high above by the fierce Madaket winds. Kate clapped her hands with delight at the success of his first initial try. She also clapped at the realization that Tim was immensely enjoying her gift to him.
She had fooled him well. He did not suspect nor have knowledge of what the package she arrived with contained until he had torn open the wrap. Then his eyes reacted with the same boyish wonder Kate had envisioned and imagined. As a result, within no time, Tim had assembled his new toy, and they were off. Now Kate reveled in the fun he was having. She had brought her camera with her on this trip, as well, fully expecting it to be a memorable occasion, and so she snapped off some shots of the action before her.
Not after too long, Kate was joining Tim by making a running start across the beach to let the wind catch her own little kite and lift it up besides his. Very little effort was required as the wind on Madaket Beach created the perfect conditions for kite flying, and much to their relief and good fortune, they had the area to themselves.
Tim's kite was the more impressive one as it was the most aerodynamic; thus, it soared at great heights, and he made Kate take a turn with it so she could truly enjoy the wonder of her gift in full. Colorful and vast, the largest one she was able to search out and find, the kite created a magnificent sight in the late afternoon sky.
Halfway through the afternoon, they took a break and had a picnic lunch of sandwiches they had picked up at Provisions Bakery in town before heading out to the beach. Tim's kite was attached to a piece of driftwood and still continued to flap high above them. In fact, Kate had to crane her neck from where they were sitting in the sand to be able to spot it.
In the meantime, her little kite had begun to sag and falter. Therefore, it was Tim's suggestion that they exchange for a while, but Kate adamantly refused as she did not want him to be hindered or his enjoyment lessened by nuisances such as the smaller, cheaper kite's imperfections.
After a time, they abandoned it all together, and each took turns with his as he intended for Kate to share in his joy. When it was her turn, he then took over camera duty making certain to capture her fully in action as she had him and to freeze these moments in time forever. Together they were like a couple of kids running across the beach sans shoes, pulling and tugging at the string as the kite was lifted higher each time.
On one occasion, the last, after Tim had taken his gift down and had packed it up, Kate had decided to give the cheap kite one final chance to prove itself. Enthusiastically and exuberantly running in an attempt to accomplish this goal, she was oblivious to Tim who was standing in such close proximity having meandered nearer to the unfolding scene.
As Kate ran backward, she failed to see him directly behind her until she had turned around at the last second to collide with him head-on and with such a force that both were knocked to the ground instantly, he, on his back, and she, on top of him on her stomach, with the wind socked out of them.
After the initial shock, which was substantial, of the impact had worn off, Kate became acutely aware of the intimate physical position they had landed in. For a brief second, she froze as she looked into Tim's eyes and saw he was grinning ever so slightly. Embarrassed, she began a fervent attempt to free herself. The string of the ever failing kite, however, had tangled around her feet, and her efforts to break loose of it only made the situation worse. The more she struggled, the more, in turn, her body pushed against his.
Moments before, Tim, whose natural instinct was to protect her, had reached out to clasp Kate as they had fallen, and still, he held her as she struggled frantically to disengage herself from their melee'. He couldn't help grinning on the outside and laughing on the inside as he enjoyed every moment of their little predicament until at last with one swift jerk of desperation and exasperation, Kate managed to reach down and break the string that had held her fast, kicking her feet loose and out of the tangled mess in an instant.
Pushing herself up and off of Tim in the most rushed and awkward manner, almost falling over completely in the process, Kate stood and brushed herself off. Trying to look as sedate and poised as possible, though the exact opposite was true, it was abundantly apparent that she was rattled.
Tim picked himself up and eyed her with a suppressed smile. Kate, for her part, did not look at him, only, with her hands on her hips, announced with a certain level of unintended silliness, "I think that's enough flite kying…" Shutting her eyes briefly to her blunder, she corrected, emphasizing, "I mean … kite flying… for today!"
Watching her as she stared at her feet, and feeling her discomfort, Tim then responded in his most casual manner. "Okay. Want to get a drink? Let's get a drink," he suggested.
"A drink?" Kate repeated thoughtfully. Glancing ever so quickly his way, she gave Tim a nod as she agreed, "That sounds good. Yeah, let's get a drink." Deciding she needed one badly, she ordered, "Let's go," marching off in the direction of the car.
Tim followed her at a more relaxed pace.
En route to the town, Tim glanced over at Kate who was all the way on her side of the Explorer, so far, in fact, that she was crammed up against the door. She stared, motionless and grim, out the front window. Tim would have let loose an uproarious laugh if he could have, but not wishing to upset her further, he suppressed it with everything in him. He did, however, grin to himself with an assured, joyful sense.
Tim pulled up in front of the Rose & Crown, their old hang out place, which was still quiet at this hour since it was before the dinner crowd had set in. Kate had already entered, as Tim was locking the Explorer. Following close behind, he called to the bar for two Irish coffees as Kate took off for a seat. A Tina Turner song, The Best, was just winding down on the bar's speakers. Tim sat down and pulling his chair close to the table, leaned his arms against it and eyed Kate.
"What?" she demanded, looking at him directly for the first time since the incident.
"I was just noticing how much your hair has grown since Christmas," Tim commented.
Kate looked down at her hair, which was now to her shoulders again as it had been when they first had met two years ago. She glanced back up at Tim who was still eyeing her.
He continued. "I think each time I see you that you look different from the time before," Tim decided.
"Oh, really? Well, you never change!" Kate responded dryly and just as decidedly as him.
Tim grinned knowing that her off-handed remark was probably not complimentary. Then softly, he ventured, "Thank you for my birthday gift. It's great!"
Kate merely nodded as their drinks arrived.
At that moment, a new song blaring over the bar's sound system caught Tim's attention, evident by his expression. Listening, he suddenly sat straight up as he laid his hands on his knees.
"Oh, Michael Bolton! Let's dance!" he exclaimed as he stood up and held out his hand to Kate.
She sat back in her chair flabbergasted. "What? You don't like Bolton!"
"Yeah, but this is a great song!"
"We never danced to Bolton," Kate mentioned as a deterrent, but Tim was not to be dissuaded.
"C'mon!" he urged her out onto the floor.
Kate sighed, shook her head, and reached out, taking Tim's hand. Within seconds, they were upon the dance floor, the only ones, for that matter.
At first they danced hand in hand, and Tim led Kate around the floor. Once she was comfortable with that, he began to dance around her. No Fred Astaire by any means, he, nevertheless, persisted and enjoyed doing so, bringing Kate to near tears several times by his antics, which even included dipping her from time to time.
She, in turn, let him dance with her, back to back, and around her, and behind her, as she swayed in time with the music. Concurrently, obvious to anyone in the vicinity was the underlying truth that Kate and Tim had most likely done this before, many times perhaps, so apparent was their comfort with each other.
They had, in fact, had several occasions or opportunities to dance whenever they were together since their first dance a year before, starting with that night when he would not let her sit or rest all evening. By the end of that first occasion, she had grown accustomed to this activity with him and had even learned to like it.
Now Kate had come to fully expect the ritual as part of their time together, that at some point on every visit they would get the chance to make their way onto a dance floor for Tim always saw to that and insisted upon it. She learned to accept this, and also, to look forward to it.
Besides, secretly, Kate had always longed to dance, and Tim gave her the courage to do so. Hence, she no longer feared or was nervous at the prospect, nor did she protest as she once had. That was how a year had changed her. She was more assured and secure now, and Kate knew it was due, in no small measure, to Tim. He had been the force that had taken away her inhibitions, and it was his strength that had made her stronger and more confident. As a result, Kate felt, at times, as though she could do anything with his influence and with him beside her.
As the jubilant crescendo strains of the Bolton song were heard, Tim and Kate's crazy, kinetic dance also became more joyful to watch, and they were the envy of the few patrons in the establishment that early evening who glanced their way. Not because they were great dancers, for they weren't by any means, but merely because of the sheer fun they seemed to be having all by themselves, out on that dance floor, just the two of them.
A strange irony had occurred that had not escaped Tim's keen observant notice that while Kate had panicked at their fall together earlier on the beach, she showed no signs of such discomfort now as they shared close space on the dance floor. Of course, Tim realized that had Kate been aware of this inconsistency in her personality, and in her emotions, she would have merely stated that they were two totally different situations, and he knew even, to a certain extent, that they were for her - one being the familiar, the other being the unfamiliar.
Not that Kate would have dared make such a differentiation for fear of bringing attention to the earlier incident, but the contradiction existed, nonetheless. Yet, Tim accepted it as simply Kate.
The two of them danced on into the night, finishing that song and others, between Irish Coffees, dinner, and conversation in which Kate felt as she had earlier when they had flown kites at the beach in Madaket - giddy and alive!
31: An Anniversary~XXXI~
WITH the April trip behind her and that particular little anniversary out of the way, Kate prepared for another occasion ahead of her, a different type of anniversary, mainly, her parents' fortieth in August.
Even though the Lindstroms were not a big, party family, Kate was hoping to pull off this family event as her mother had mentioned it to her four years earlier. Therefore, Kate realized that Mrs. Lindstrom was probably counting on some kind of recognition of the milestone, and Kate did not wish to disappoint her.
Informing her brothers that she would make the necessary arrangements to book the space, a pavilion at a state beach was secured not too far a distance from them; a place that Erin Lindstrom had also referenced in the past. Having done that, Kate sent out the invitations and told Tim of her plans, who, of course, was invited, as well. Tim amiably offered not only to come but to help in any way, and this became Kate's salvation as she did not have a car and running about for supplies and such was difficult.
The weekend of the event, Tim came down on that Saturday morning, having closed his shop for the weekend. The pretense was to invite Kate's parents to dinner. She had never been good at surprising people, but with Tim's help, she thought it just might work. His assistance was the factor that kept her going; his energy was the force that fed her own. When her spirit began to sag or her body began to tire, he was there to give her an old-fashioned pick-me-up, and it always worked like a charm.
Tim and Kate, along with her parents, did go out to dinner that Saturday as a ruse, and the trick did fool the elder Lindstroms completely as they were thrown off by one day. Thinking the dinner out as the celebration, they were, for that reason, not expecting anything when Tim suggested they take a ride to the beach that Sunday afternoon, though Kate's mom would later insist she had known all along.
Kate had to admit that she had probably tipped her off, just a bit, by announcing that they would meet her brothers, Ben and Josh, later for the opening of the anniversary gifts. Nevertheless, both Fred and Erin Lindstrom acted surprised as they walked to the end of the pavilion to find a whole contingent of people waiting for them, many of whom they had not seen for eons.
The Lindstrom brothers were already present acting as impeccable hosts. Nonetheless, it would be Kate's role that day, as the oldest child, to orchestrate and oversee the afternoon's festivities, which included the food, the cake, and the dancing. As soon as she had arrived with their parents, the brothers were more than eager to hand over the duties to her.
Deciding it too costly to hire a band, the siblings had opted instead for a disc jockey with Kate providing the tunes, mostly country western which was her parents' favorite music. However, though she had learned over the years to enjoy this music as well, she threw in some other types and artists as well, such as Michael Bolton. This one, in particular, she added just to tease Tim, who rarely liked the artist except for the one tune of his that they had danced to the previous April.
That same said song was playing on the sound system as Kate neared the microphone to begin her congratulatory speech on the momentous occasion. More off the cuff than prepared, it was her tribute to her parents, and she tried to deliver it as eloquently as possible. Kate had made speeches before church councils and congregations before, but never one as personal as this and never one that she had made for and about her parents. This would be a unique thing, perhaps a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to speak about the two people whose union had brought her into this world.
In her best voice, which was a bit shaky, as she was nervous despite her best efforts, Kate began, pacing as she spoke and not looking, at first, at her family but at the floor. Borrowing the DJ's portable mike, which she used so that every person in the place could hear her, the speech started simply enough:
"My parents have reached a milestone, and milestones are to be celebrated. Forty years is a lot! I give them all the credit for having made it this far, and that's what we are honoring them for today – forty years of marriage, for endurance, and for love. It's quite an achievement!"
Kate turned her full attention on her parents as she wrapped up the brief speech. "So Mom and Dad, on behalf of me, Ben, Josh, and all of us here, we congratulate you both on this milestone achievement. We wish you the happiest of anniversaries, and many more years together, and we're very happy to be here to witness and celebrate this great occasion with you. Happy Anniversary! We love you!"
Having concluded the privilege of such a special duty, Kate, along with her brothers, went to kiss and hug their parents as everyone in the room clapped, none more enthusiastically than Tim who knew better than anyone that it had not been easy for Kate to make that speech. At that moment, and with perfect precision and timing, the DJ began to play the next song, which Kate had requested special for what was about to happen next.
As the first strains of a Faith Hill ballad began to play, Kate spoke into the microphone again and announced, "And now, Ma and Dad, for your fortieth anniversary, this is your special dance; just as on your wedding day forty years ago, it's your time to lead us in the first dance."
Kate urged her folks up onto the floor, though she knew full well that they might want to kill her instead of dance since neither Fred nor Erin Lindstrom had done so since their actual wedding day. Yet, the applause of the guests, unmistakably, left them little choice. To ease their embarrassment, however, Kate saw to it, in short order, that others joined the Lindstroms as quickly as possible, allowing her mother and father to feel far less conspicuous.
With the mike under her arm, Kate circled her parents, taking the appropriate number of snapshots of them alone on the dance floor, as Kate knew her mother fully expected. Then speaking into the mike again, Kate enjoined the on-lookers, "Now, everyone!" to which people went onto the floor, much to her relief, as well as her mom and dad's.
Laying down the microphone, Kate could finally relax. Though still shaking a bit from the exhilaration of the moment and from her adrenaline (which was as much from her nerves as anything for no matter how many times she had spoken in front of the congregation at church or served as lector during the Mass or asked questions at a meeting at work, it still was nerve-wracking and exciting to go before a group and speak), now she could blend into the background again.
Leaning up against a pole, Kate watched the scene all around. She had to admit that everything was going beautifully. Everything had come off without a hitch. Her younger brothers came over to her to pat her on the shoulder before finding their mates again. Kate smiled as she watched her parents still motioning even more people to join them on the floor. All at once she heard a familiar voice from behind her.
"I liked your speech."
Tim had followed her movements throughout the afternoon, following her, as well, to where she had chosen to hide now in this corner. He sat down on a bench off to the side of where Kate stood viewing the scene. While she studied the dancers, he looked up at her to wonder what she was thinking. She grinned at his compliment but didn't give him a passing glance even.
"Thanks, I hated making it!" she laughed.
"Why?" Tim asked perplexed. "You did it so well."
"Oh, I'm just kidding," said Kate, trying to ease his mind, though she was speaking only a half-truth. "I was glad to do it. It is a daughter's duty after all, the eldest child's duty, right?" she asked rhetorically, her voice trailing off, which caught Tim's attentive mind right away, as little escaped his notice.
"It's a real, nice party, Kate. You should feel proud that everything's turned out so well!"
"Thanks, and thanks for all your help. I couldn't have done it without you," she replied, looking at him briefly, before diverting her gaze back to the dance floor.
"Oh, I was happy to do it, but you don't look so happy, Kate. Afraid you've been proven wrong again? Afraid to admit it?" Tim questioned, goading her though he knew it might backfire.
Kate turned on him suddenly. "Oh, you mean, here's another perfect marriage?"
Tim couldn't miss the edge in her voice. He responded calmly in turn. "Well, nothing's perfect in this world, Kate, but it is a good one," he observed as her parents continued on the dance floor, smiling like a couple of kids.
Shaking her head, Kate looked off again. "It's a marriage; they've endured; they've struggled, always."
Noticing her tensed features, Tim interjected as quietly and as delicately as possible, but firm enough for her to hear him, "No one said it was easy, Kate. That's what's celebrated here today, too, but they've loved! They had love, and they loved."
Kate did not respond; instead she just stood immobile.
Tim continued, "If two people have love, then they can endure anything, any struggle, overcome any obstacle." He checked her expression, waiting to gauge her reaction. It was difficult to tell if she was hearing a word of what he way saying or if she was just blocking him out.
In truth, not wishing to begin an argument, Kate chose instead to ignore Tim. "Oh, what's my cousin got into now!" she remarked agitatedly, using the first excuse at her disposal to break away. She abruptly left Tim without a further word.
He watched her go. Then bowing his head, he sighed in resignation.
Having tended to her relatives, her younger cousin in particular, Kate began to circle the room and visit with some of the guests who had not chosen to join the dance. Many were extended family members that she had not seen for years.
At one point, intuitively, she looked up and across the room to see Tim watching and smiling at her in an almost apologetic gesture. Kate couldn't help smiling back as if to say she understood that he wanted peace between them, no hard feelings, no arguments, and no stress.
She went back to speaking with a guest when next she found Tim beside her. He extended his hands to her. Kate smiled, recognizing immediately his wish to make amends upon the dance floor. At once, she took his one hand as the other went around her waist, and she brought her other hand to rest upon his shoulder as naturally as if they had played out this scene a thousand times.
Tim led Kate onto the dance floor in probably their gentlest and most serious dance to date. They spoke not a word, instead just gliding across the floor with ease and nuance.
Erin and Fred Lindstrom spotted Tim and Kate across the room as did their many guests, since no one could help noticing what a fine couple the pair really made. Even Kate's brothers caught sight of the two of them. Ben and Josh nudged each other at the magnitude of such a scene as this, seeing their sister dance with a man, an event that neither had witnessed in their lives, ever!
Kate and Tim moved gracefully together, smiling frequently, and saying no words, as there was no need. This is what they were use to, and they felt totally comfortable in each other's arms, the world slowly disappearing around them as they kept time to the music. Hence, they were totally oblivious to all eyes affixed on them that day, for Kate and Tim could only see each other; their eyes solely upon each other.
32: A Summer's Day~XXXII~
THE anniversary party was a success in Kate's mind, and she could rest easier, once it was over, knowing her parents were happy and that it was all behind her, finally. In order to relax fully, however, she extended the weekend with a two-day trip to Nantucket, which had been at Tim's suggestion, as he knew she would need the recuperation and the distraction. He was more than happy to provide both to her weary soul.
For a long time, Tim had been trying to persuade Kate to make a summer visit, telling her that she couldn't miss the beauty of the island at that unique season. She had always been firm on this one point: Never would she visit the island in the summer for the simple fact that it was the height of the tourist season. Only at Tim's formidable persuasion did Kate change her mind, by offering her the hope that maybe it could be quiet and peaceful if one only looked for it.
"There are places to go on the island away from the maddening crowds," he had said with a wink.
Tim also mentioned that he had an activity that was sure to quiet and soothe her harried psyche, and that is how Kate came to find herself one summer's afternoon in his little dory, fishing at Hither Creek, in Madaket, very near where Tim lived.
Kate had to admit that Tim had been right about the beauty of the island in this particular season. It was lovely in all the times she had been to visit, but never was it lovelier than on a summer's day as she now enjoyed it. The thought occurred to Kate that she had never seen the trees green before as she had always visited in the early spring or fall or winter when foliage had just started to arrive, was turning, or else had passed by and was hidden for another year. Now everything was alive with a vibrant, verdant green, and the best part was that the air was not scorching or humid like back home in her native Connecticut, where the thick foliage only seemed to add to the oppressive heat.
As Kate sat in the boat, holding the fishing rod Tim had lent her, she still dressed mostly in layers, as she always did, except which now consisted of a tee-shirt, the first layer, covered over by a regular button shirt, layer number two, followed by a light jacket, the final item of clothing. Tim wore a cotton button shirt, not tucked in, over his khaki trousers, and no jacket. He looked less like a fisherman, presently, than the first time Kate had met him when she had assumed as much, but she drew a conclusion anyway by letting him in on her initial assessment of his attire.
"From the first time I met you, I always suspected you were a fisherman! How did I know that?" she teased Tim.
He grinned, shifting his position a touch, then picked up his fishing pole again from where he had rested it the moment before. "Oh, really? And what had given you that impression, pray tell?" Tim asked in a tone mixing a feigned, stern attitude with a touch of deviltry.
"Because of the way you were dressed; you reminded me of Spencer Tracy in Captains Courageous!" she stated with a laugh.
"Ah, yes, the lady's favorite actor," Tim registered, recalling to mind their first drink together. "Am I to be compared to a dead man?" he questioned, curiously, but whimsically.
"Not really. I wouldn't say that!" Kate responded, laughing again. "There's more life in you than in most people I know half your age!"
Then changing the subject with a more serious note, she commented, "I'm glad to know that when you catch the fish, you throw them back. I couldn't stand to see them cut up!" Kate shrugged with distaste.
"Oh, nature lover, huh?"
"No, just squeamish is all," she replied honestly, looking down into the water.
"That's all right," he assured Kate. "No, for me, it's the sport – that's all that counts, the relaxation of it. It's great for the mind and soul, you know, to just sit out here in this peaceful environment and contemplate life and stuff," Tim explained in a rapturous voice, smiling the whole time.
Kate grinned at his enthusiasm as he added, "It's a great place for meditation."
"So I see it will be if we don't catch anything soon," she surmised at their lack of luck for the past hour or so.
"I think that's about to change now," Tim said slowly, reeling in his catch, as a fish suddenly broke the water kicking and squirming out of its natural habitat. "Walla!"
Nodding her admiration, Kate replied, "Good for you!" She watched Tim holding up his prize between them.
"Oh, what a beauty!" Tim exclaimed with appreciation as he held it up one last time before freeing the hook from the creature's mouth. At which point, he threw it overboard, sending it back into the depths from where it came.
"Well, that's one for you, zip for me," noted Kate, woefully.
"I think your luck is changing," observed Tim, as he noticed her line grow taut.
"Oh! OH!" Kate began to exclaim, feeling the tug. "Oh, I feel it! Oh, Tim!" She held on tighter, afraid to lose her first catch of the day.
Tim grinned at her excitement. "Let me know if you need my help," he mentioned, watching her carefully.
"I think I can…" Then Kate felt a greater yank on her line than before, as she grasped harder with both hands trying to pull the fish up. Realizing she might lose it if she wasn't strong enough to hold on, Kate yelled, "I need your help! I need your help!"
Tim moved beside her, and together they held the rod, giving Kate the added leverage she needed to reel in the fish she was certain was a whopper, judging by the strength on the other end. Managing better now with Tim's considerable help behind her, she reeled like a maniac for what seemed like forever. Tim kept a careful eye on her rapid-fire movements. Suddenly, forever became a flash, as the fish flew out of the water and into the dory, directly onto Kate's lap.
"Yah!" Kate let out a yell.
Taking the rod from her hand, Tim helped Kate to get hold of her prize so she had the opportunity to study thoroughly her first catch of the day. Once it was under control and in her grasp, Kate gleamed with unabashed pride.
Then noticing the creature's true size, which wasn't as big as she had imagined, Kate remarked, a little disappointedly, "He's a little thing, isn't he?"
"Yeah, but you caught him!" Tim reminded her of the true achievement, which wasn't the size of the fish but the sport of that contest, as he truly believed it to be, the fight between two wills to see who would win, man or fish, or in this case, woman or fish.
Kate began to smile considering his words. "Yeah, and I haven't caught a fish since I was probably nine years old on my uncle's boat in Maine," she reminisced as she swelled with pride at the memory and as well at her new won victory.
"Well, you want to keep him?" Tim asked teasingly, knowing full well her answer.
"No, let's throw him back," Kate replied mournfully. "He deserves better."
Tim obliged, unhooking the trophy for her and sending it back over. He then thought of something. "Hey, what made you think it was a he?"
"Because he was obstinate!" Kate announced without missing a beat. "Just like a man," she then added flippantly.
"Oh, really? Obstinate, huh?" chided Tim, amused by the second. "Well, we'll see what the next one is and what it does?" he challenged as he stood up to fix her rod.
Kate felt the dory rock. "Tim, sit down," she said alarmed.
Noting her look of worry, Tim assured her, "It's all right."
"No, it's not all right!" Kate insisted, sensing another roll as Tim shifted his weight again.
"What's the matter? You afraid I'm gonna fall out?" he asked, eyeing her.
"That's exactly what I'm afraid of! So will you please sit down?" Kate practically hollered as her worry increased, becoming more agitated by the minute.
"It's really all right, Kate," Tim stated in an effort to reassure her, in between his laughter. "I do this all the time. Look, see! I can walk back and forth. You just need to know how to shift your weight," he explained as he attempted to demonstrate in front of her his method of balance. "As long as you don't move, I'll be fine," Tim added as a final thought.
Kate was not convinced. "Tim, you're making me a nervous wreck! Will you please sit down!" she nearly screamed.
Tim, however, was too busy exacerbating the situation by egging Kate on. "Look, Kate, look!" he exclaimed as he purposely rocked the boat from side to side with his weight trying to get a rise out of her, as if he wanted to panic her to see just what she might do, to see how she might react.
In actuality, Kate need not have worried had she known because Tim was perfectly centered, but she didn't understand this, too upset was she by the whole episode and by his actions. She did react, however, though not in a way he would have ever suspected.
"Damn it! Will you sit down?" Kate yelled as she reached up to grab the front of Tim's shirt with the objective of pulling him back down. What happened next startled both of them and set in motion a series of disastrous effects.
The consequence of Kate's sudden movement was to cause the boat to rock drastically, resulting in Tim losing his balance as the boat shifted in the opposite direction of his, sending him tumbling over the side and right into the water, disappearing completely in a matter of seconds. Kate was aghast with horror and started to scream.
"Tim! Tim! Oh, my God! Tim! Tim where are you?" she shouted, searching frantically over the edge of the dory for any sign of him.
Kate was beside herself at trying to find Tim, now down on her knees, careful not to rock the boat any further for fear that she would join him over the edge. She could find no evidence of him in the murky water, and she began to imagine all kinds of nightmarish scenarios such as that he might have somehow hit his head on the side of the boat on the way down and now was laying at the bottom of the inlet. Not believing that he could hold his breath so long, her worst fear was that he had drowned.
The thought occurred to her briefly that he might be playing an elaborate hoax on her as he seemed determine to unnerve her this afternoon. Still, she was frightened and crying like a two year old, believing herself abandoned and alone. She continued to call out his name and tried to figure out what to do next. Theirs was the only boat in the vicinity so Kate couldn't call to others for help. She wasn't sure if Tim had a radio in his little skiff. If he had, he had not pointed it out to her. Kate was at a loss and feeling completely helpless as she tried to blink tears away.
Occasionally, she paused to listen for any indication of life around her, and the only sound returned back to her was the lapping of the water against the hull of the dory, intermingled with the rasping of her own breathing. It was excruciatingly quiet, too quiet, until suddenly, and without any warning, Tim emerged from the water and grabbed the side of the boat, which caused Kate to scream out again in shock but then with relief that he was apparently all right.
Tim, looking none the worse for wear, hung onto the side of the dory as Kate recovering her wits began to swear. "What the hell was that? What the hell did you do that for! Are you crazy?" She went from one tirade to another not giving him a chance to respond, furious at him to no end, believing him to have fallen in on purpose due to the physical evidence that he was unhurt or undamaged.
Breathing heavily and trying to see Kate through the hair clinging to his forehead and over his eyes, Tim did not answer her. Instead, he hauled his waterlogged body out of the creek and into the dory. Wearily, he landed himself at the back of the boat in a sitting, slouched position, waiting patiently for Kate to calm down, which, as yet, she clearly was not ready to do!
Furiously, she railed against him, throwing out accusations left and right with amazing speed and venom. "You did that on purpose, didn't you? You purposefully set out to frighten the hell out of me! You wanted to see me a complete basket case! Didn't you?"
Tim wiped the hair off his forehead and looked at her.
"Answer me!" screamed Kate, the sound reverberating throughout the creek.
Resembling somewhat a drowned rat, Tim shrugged noncommittally and glanced up at her with a grin, causing Kate's anger to fully erupt. Taking a real chance, she moved across the boat to where Tim sat, and standing up, momentarily, she hammered a right fist against his left arm, then her other fist against his other arm.
"Don't ever do that again!" yelled Kate, as she began to flay wildly at Tim, not really with any kind of strength to cause him injury or harm but yet hard enough and in every way imaginable in order to give vent to her previous anxiety and fears, and subsequent anger.
Tim couldn't help laughing, as he held up his arms in a futile effort of self-defense to block the total force and fury of the mild blows Kate was vehemently inflicting. Exhausted, she gave up, retreating to the furthermost opposite end of the skiff and turning her body sideways from Tim's view.
Having worked hard to suppress his chuckling, Tim, tongue in cheek, asked Kate, "So does that mean you would have missed me if I hadn't come up?"
Narrowing her eyes, Kate flashed Tim her deadliest glare as she responded with a menacing calm. "No… I just would have hated having to drive your car back," she sneered.
"Oh, Kate… That's so sweet," Tim returned facetiously with glee.
She had no retort but instead just turned to stare out over the water into the distance. They remained in silence as the boat rocked gently back and forth, with Kate watching the now still waters, and with Tim watching Kate.
33: The Album~XXXIII~
AS Tim showered and cleaned up, Kate cooked dinner for him, for a change. She had decided to even before the day had begun, and after the incident on the fishing trip, she had almost reneged, but then her anger subsided, and Kate chose to follow through with her plans if for no other reason than to make Tim feel all the more guilty for his stupid stunt that afternoon.
Following Tim's unexpected swim on their fishing outing, and after Kate had attacked him and they had both fallen silent, Tim had decided it best to bring them back to the boat launch and back home for the day. Besides, it had been late afternoon when they had set out, anyway, being that Kate couldn't take the extreme sun of mid-day. By the time Tim had fallen in, it was nearly early evening.
Tim observed that Kate stood silently to the side while he hitched up his little dory. The ride home had been in silence, as well, as had their arrival at the house except for Tim announcing, "I'll just take a shower and clean up."
The only other words spoken were Kate's. "Fine." Then she had walked away from him, without a passing glance, and entered the kitchen.
Tim shook his head and proceeded to his bedroom. As he climbed out of his still damp clothes and into his robe, he reflected on Kate's reaction to his little spill overboard. There had been undeniable fear in her eyes when he had first resurfaced, followed rapidly by her immense anger. He could only guess it was due to having worried her needlessly and for bringing those feelings so clearly to light, as well as possibly touching on something deeper under the surface. He allowed himself to imagine that Kate may have been so upset due to the very real possibility that he might well have drowned out on the creek, and maybe she was confronting some true emotions for the first time.
However, Tim still wasn't sure if he hadn't allowed the whole incident to happen just to test her. Perhaps she had been right in accusing him of having fallen in on purpose. Certainly, he had stayed down probably longer than necessary. He was not sure of the answer, but Kate's reaction gave him reason to hope that if he had been testing her on some level, then what he suspected was true. Pondering it further, he moved from his room to the bathroom and, disrobing, jumped into the shower.
As Kate prepared the dinner (just a simple pasta meal as she was accustomed to making, with a few vegetables thrown in for Tim), she also opened a bottle of wine from his supply and poured herself a glass, deciding, most definitely, that she needed it badly after the ordeal she had just been through. She was still, after all, shaky and her nerves wrought even as she continued to seethe with anger at what she considered a jackass stunt of Tim's, dreamed up for her benefit and at her expense, but why?
Why had he done it to her? Kate didn't understand. Had he thought it would be funny to see her upset and fearful? It still, as yet, had not occurred to her that she herself might have caused the entire episode in her sudden movement to force him to sit down, throwing off his balance, and sending him over the side.
She had no time to consider this likelihood as she was too busy wondering if Tim hadn't orchestrated the whole situation merely to get a rise out of her, to see her reaction, and expecting, perhaps, that she'd somehow fall into his arms swooning with relief that he was still among the living. Kate thought this a distinct possibility for at certain times, she still felt vaguely that Tim hoped for something more between them though he never spoke of it directly.
Well, Kate resolved not to give him the satisfaction. "How dare he manipulate me like that?" she fumed.
She walked from the kitchen into the living room, holding her wine glass, as she waited for the water on the stove to boil. She could hear the shower from down the hall. Idly, Kate walked over to Tim's desk in the corner. Her eye fell upon a photograph album lying open, most likely, for her to see. She gently set her glass down to one side. Leaning over the desk, she casually began flipping through the pages of the hefty book, chock-full of snapshots of a family from years gone by. She sat down, momentarily, for a closer look.
Kate suspected that the photos were of Tim and his family and of their summers on Nantucket when he was just a kid. She supposed that Tim had come across the collection, recently, leaving it out with the intended purpose of sharing it with her. She imagined him sitting in this spot, poring over the pages of the album himself, maybe in the days leading up to their visit together.
Enthralled, Kate picked up her wine glass and the precious book and headed to the couch. Once settled there, she began to really study with fascination the pages before her. She was vaguely aware in the background of the shower having stopped, but she continued on, nevertheless. Tim would join her shortly, and then they could study it together, at which he could explain things as Kate had a million questions.
By herself, she came to a conclusion of who was whom in each shot as she peered at photos of Tim and Tom as young boys full of youth and vigor. Kate also guessed at the pictures of Tim's parents before disease and illness had ravaged their own youthful bodies, claiming their young lives all too soon. Tim had told Kate the first time she had visited this house how both his parents had succumbed to illnesses in their forties, both as their sons were just becoming men. The knowledge had filled Kate with regret that she would never know them, as they had been this close knit family, described by Tim and depicted in the scenes now before her on the yellowing pages of the album.
The portraits of the O'Malleys silently moved Kate. They looked so content. They could not have known what their futures would hold, but in all their faces was the promise and hope for a happy life. She could see it in them as surely as if they were standing before her in the flesh.
Having thrown some sweats on, Tim emerged from the bathroom and was using a hand towel to vigorously dry his unruly hair, which was even more unmanageable wet. He caught sight of Kate engrossed in something, which lay before her. He realized quickly that it was the album of his family that he had left on his desk earlier in the week. Tim watched Kate as she, intently, viewed each picture individually for moments at a time, followed by several collectively.
He was captivated by her peaceful countenance and stance for he had never seen her in such a serene state. Tim could see even from where he stood in the hall that Kate was totally absorbed in the album and unaware of anything, that is, until he came to be by her side.
She briefly looked up as he stood above her, casting a shadow over where she sat still. Kate, without a word, moved her position to accommodate Tim joining her on the couch at which he complied. He sat down beside her, and she immediately slid the book across both their laps, so as to allow him to share with her what she was seeing. She turned the pages quietly and slowly. Tim looked at a page and then at her. Kate looked up at him and that's when his breath caught and ceased for a split second.
In her eyes, he saw that neither a trace of anger nor fear remained or else it had been obscured by a light which seemed to emanate from deep within Kate, possibly from her very soul, he considered. Tim wondered if he was mistaken, if it was merely his imagination playing tricks on him or his own wishful thinking finally caught up with him at last. He did not know which, but in that moment, he would have sworn on his life that what he saw reflected in her eyes' very depths were admiration and love.
For what seemed like some small eternity, Tim remained held, locked in Kate's tranquil gaze.
34: A Promise Made~XXXIV~
THE seasons seemed to blend together as the end of summer quickly became the fall, and Kate once again found herself on Nantucket, after only two months. She was happy to be back again on familiar ground as autumn was a time of year when she felt most comfortable with herself and her wardrobe. Her skin was even better in the fall and into the winter as the sun diminished with each passing day.
As for the island, Kate felt more comfortable with its surroundings, as well, as the green gave way to the brilliant myriad colors of autumn, and as the day's light lessened, so did the people, and it was then that Kate was happiest. It was not that she hadn't enjoyed her summer visit, but the town and beaches had been crowded to capacity. Now they were empty, and her heart was full.
Kate was in her element on such an autumn day as this where she and Tim had Madaket Beach all to themselves in splendid tranquility. Kate wrote in her journal while Tim, with his eyes closed, lay on his back besides her on the blanket they had brought along with a picnic lunch from Provisions Bakery in town, which specialized in lunches to carry and go.
After they had finished eating and when Tim had seemed safe asleep and unaware, Kate had taken out her journal and began to write. She had kept a journal for a decade or more as part of her prayer life, and it was moments like this that she lived for and wrote about in thanksgiving to God and in silent reflection on her life. When times had been particularly difficult for her over the years as she made her way alone in the world, her journals had also been her therapy, helping sort out life's experiences, good and bad, to make sense of it all.
Kate looked up from her writing, occasionally, to cast an eye at Tim to see that he was still sound asleep. He lay peacefully with his hands behind his head and his knees up. She marveled that he could sleep so easily. She always had a difficult time. His shoes were off, as were hers, for they had taken their ritualistic walk on the water's edge already, running in and out of the surf as they went. It was always a part of their trip to the beach together, and it would have been for Kate with or without Tim alongside her.
The water was warmer now that the air temp was cooling, but Madaket waters were not for swimmers, still, as the surf was the heaviest on the island anywhere. Too rough for surfers and waders, but perfect for someone who just wanted to stand fixed with their feet in the water and watch, mesmerized, the constant roll of the thunderous Atlantic surf. It was this that Kate wrote about also, as nature had a soothing effect on her and created depths of gratitude in her soul to the Maker for such pure and natural gifts in the world. The beauty of creation was a perfect subject, therefore, for her journalizing and for her praise of God.
Kate alternated between studying the surf and writing before she noticed that Tim had awaken and was looking up at her with one eye closed against the glare of the autumn gray sky which was obscuring the afternoon sun that tried to peek through. She wasn't surprised to find him watching her, so she went right on putting her thoughts down on paper.
Tim continued to watch as he inquired, "What are you writing?"
"My journal," Kate answered without looking up.
Propping himself up one elbow and turning towards her, Tim asked coyly, "What do you write about?"
"Oh, all kinds of things," Kate replied, continuing to write. "All about the day and what it's like, but mostly I write about feelings."
Pushing his luck further, Tim questioned, "You ever write about me?"
Kate looked up from what she was about to write and answered in earnest. "God, of course! I write about all the really important people in my life, and even some of the unimportant ones," she added with a wink and a smile before slyly returning back to it.
"Would you ever show me what you've written?" Tim queried casually, all the while watching her like a hawk.
Kate looked up again, this time without smiling but quite serious and concerned as she announced succinctly, "A journal is private." She looked away.
Her firm and finite tone left no opening for discussion whatsoever. However, Tim persisted, with caution. The roar of the waves made their voices seem very small and far away. "What about your story? Did you ever finish that?" he asked.
"What story?" answered Kate with a question annoyed that he was interrupting her again.
"Your story about Nantucket," he reminded her.
Kate thought for a moment. Delving back into her memory, she recalled their first meeting when she had then made mention of a story to him on a lark. He still remembered after all this time! She was amazed but didn't show it as she looked down again before answering, "Oh, yeah, I got tons of material for that."
"Well, will you let me see that?" Tim implored.
"I never finished writing it," she stated simply.
"Why not?" demanded Tim.
Kate looked at him first and then responded, "Why should I write about it as fiction if I'm living it in reality? Then it becomes part of this!" She held up the journal to emphasize her point before trying once again to continue with her writing, which she recognized wasn't getting very far. She was becoming mildly exasperated with Tim's constant queries and interruptions.
"Well," Tim began with a slow drawl as he rolled back on two elbows, looking away now himself in the direction of his feet and the water's edge beyond, "Can I read something you've written sometime?"
"What about all the letters I've written you? Don't they count?"
"No, they do not. That's different. You know what I'm talking about. You know the kind of writing I'm talking about!"
Kate threw down the journal and her hands up with resignation, realizing her defeat once again at Tim's masterful way of getting what he wanted. Eventually, she always gave into him, thanks to his never failing persistence. This time was no different.
"All right!" she conceded. Thinking, she came up with a plan, offering Tim some hope. "I'll tell you what, by Christmas, I'll have something for you to read."
Tim perked up suddenly. "Really?" he asked gleefully as he sat up.
Kate rolled her eyes. "Yes, really."
"You promise, Kate?" excitedly Tim prodded.
"I promise," she assured him.
He was on his knees now as he urged her, "You have to really promise, Kate, and really mean it, because it's the only way I'll believe you and let the whole thing lie."
"What are we kids? I said I promise! What more do you want, my blood?" Kate asked annoyed.
"Just really promise and really mean it, Kate, and then I'll leave you alone about it, I swear, on my honor as a scout." Tim held one hand in the air and then crossed it over his heart in his gesture of appeasement.
"Were you ever a scout?" Kate inquired skeptically and unimpressed.
"Just promise, Kate!" Tim insisted.
Laughing inside at his antics, Kate, nevertheless, saw an escape, as Tim knew she would when he gave her the opening from the subtle but persistent interrogation he had just put her through. He watched her intently as if he could visualize the mental thought processes at work in her mind.
"I promise, that by Christmas, you will have something in your hands of mine to read," Kate stated solemnly.
"Something other than letters, too," Tim interjected so there would be no mistake or miscommunication or misunderstanding later on.
"Of course! Something other than a letter," she agreed with a sigh at what she considered the obvious. "Now will you be quiet about it already?"
Tim relaxed again into the former, comfortable position on his back. "I'm quiet," he said with a semi-grin as he closed his eyes, secretly satisfied and content.
Kate, shaking her head, laughed lightly, grateful that she had finally said the magic words that had appeased him, bringing silence and peace again. Still, she was serious and true to her word, as well, as she had every intention of keeping her promise to him or so was her thought as she took up her journal again and stared back out at the sea. The wind had intensified in the interim, and the white caps on the waves were dramatic and vivid against the gray, late afternoon October sky.
Christmas is not so far off, thought Kate to herself as the waves washed upon the shore, and the sea roared almost in answer echoed back to her. Just then, Kate had to admit to herself that she had lied to Tim about one thing, and that was what she would bring him: It would be a work of writing in the form of a letter, though not to him as he had warned her against, for it was Kate's intention that it would be to another, to someone else. That someone would be God.
35: In Preparation~XXXV~
KNOWING she had precious eight weeks or so before the Christmas season, Kate set diligently to work, like a woman possessed, in order to fulfill her promise to Tim. Actually, she had little left to do as she had been working on this particular gift for nearly a year and a half. Hence, all it really required was the finishing touches, a good polish, and proofing before the final copy would be printed and presented to him on their next visit, which was scheduled for the second week in December.
Tim had convinced Kate and her parents to come to the island for the Christmas Stroll held the second week of December. He still planned to join them for Christmas, but he offered to drive down first to pick them up special for this very unique island tradition.
Kate agreed reluctantly. Once again, her objection was to the crowds that would descend upon the island for this annual festival, but she and Tim came up with a plan in which the Lindstroms would come at the tail end of the three day celebration, allowing them the chance to experience the festivities while also enjoying the quiet as the crowds would inevitably depart.
The night before Kate and her folks were scheduled to leave, Kate read through her story and gift to Tim one final time. Satisfied that she had done her best, she laid it in the wrapping paper on her bed and bundled it up. Into the suitcase the small package went. She would not wait until Christmas to give it to him. It was her intention to present it to him in a quiet, private moment the first opportunity she had.
That chance would not present itself immediately, however, as there was little quiet or private as they stood in the ferry terminal in Hyannis on the next day. Kate was at the counter waiting her turn to purchase tickets. The din from the crowds crammed into terminal area was estimable.
Kate, trying to keep her cool, was being pushed every which way by the horde closing in. One accidental shove in the elbow touched off her quick temper and dagger glare, but as the perpetuator apologized, Kate managed to act gracious despite the strain in her expression.
After she purchased hers, Fred and Erin's tickets, she joined them in the few empty seats they had managed to snag. Tim, having a return trip ticket already in advance, came in just then from having lined the Explorer in the vehicle queue. He spotted a weary, battle-fatigued Kate along with her father and mother. The ever patient Tim went first to the senior Lindstroms to speak with them to offer any support he could. Fred joked and tried to make light of the situation.
Kate looked over at Tim with her parents. She could overhear him quietly murmuring his apologies for the masses they had encountered despite all their best-laid plans, as if he had any control over it. Kate observed how well he handled her father's quirky sense of humor and of how he reflected it back with his own unique brand, exchanging puns, jesting in kind with her dad.
Not unlike herself, Kate knew her father was not happy about coming at this busy time, though for different reasons than her own. He had grown up on island off the coast of Maine and had never forgotten the terrible, dreaded winters of his youth. He did not find it pleasurable to purposely seek out a frozen wasteland, as he would have called it, to visit by choice. Nevertheless, he kept his objections to himself because Tim was the one who had asked him to come. Kate realized that her father liked Tim so very much that he probably would have gone to the ends of the earth for him, if he had been asked as much.
In fact, the combination of Tim's charm, good-natured personality, and lighthearted character, plus that overwhelming confidence, all worked to make him a very, difficult person to refuse. Kate had learned this (as well as to never underestimate him), as had her parents. For that matter, Tim probably knew it, also, and used it to optimum advantage.
As Kate watched him lay a comforting, friendly hand over Erin Lindstrom's as he bent down on his hunches, she noted how good he was with her folks. He was as attentive and caring as if they were his own parents. He was always doing things for them as much as for her, showering them with the same joy as he always had for her, and, she knew, her parents enjoyed him, also.
Suddenly, Kate said to herself, "What a great son-in-law he would make, and they'd love him as a son-in-law, too!" She couldn't believe that the idea hadn't occurred to her before this. He was perfect with her family. In fact, he was perfect, in almost every way, everything she had ever envisioned in a man and hoped for, which was a little hard to accept. Yes, sometimes, she considered, He's just too good to be true!
Then Kate caught herself remembering who she was or who she thought she was as she murmured under her breath, "Too bad I'm not the marrying kind." Concluding her train of thought, she turned away with a grimace to stare at the herd congregating around her.
Tim was all at once beside her bending down to her eye level as he had just done with her mother. He was there to check on her state of mind, which he knew could be fragile in situations that unnerved her. He ascertained, justly, by the frown (or was it a scowl) that covered her face, that her frame of mind was not good.
Staring ahead, Kate spoke, knowing he was there. "I don't know, Tim. I think maybe this was a bad idea. It's like a bad omen or something," she predicted ominously.
Tim shook his head, sighed, and grinned. Will she never learn, he thought to himself. Then aloud, he reminded her in his most gentle but firm voice, "You always say that when we encounter some obstacle, just like last Christmas in the storm."
"Oh, yeah, that's right, the storm," Kate recalled reflectively but impassively. "I had forgotten about that."
"It'll be all right, Kate. Trust me, remember?" Tim said as he straightened and stood, laying a reassuring hand upon her shoulder.
Kate did remember his words to her the previous year when she had then, just as now, also wanted to give up and run.
Poor Tim, she thought. Always having to steady everyone and assure them. Who steadies him when he needs it? wondered Kate, as she bid her time waiting for the ferry and their departure.
36: Nantucket Noel And Daydreaming~XXXVI~
KATE and her parents were fortunate in that the worst crowds appeared to be at the ferry terminal in Hyannis. Once on the island, the throng had dispersed or disappeared altogether, for which Kate was, intensely, grateful or perhaps the activities that she and the folks had chosen to partake in were so joyful and fun, that she failed to notice the multitude of revelers everywhere.
The Lindstroms spent their Saturday enjoying the Stroll on Main Street, listening to the carolers in their old fashioned garb, and watching Santa arrive via a horse drawn carriage, since a sled would never make it over Nantucket Town's cobblestone streets. Yet, the effect was there just the same.
Towards five o'clock, Kate, along with Mr. And Mrs. Lindstrom, made their way towards Tim's store. Once there, they discovered, much to their dismay, that the crowds were very much in evidence! Kate had just failed to notice previously. "Rare for me," she admitted as she fought her way past the window shoppers outside Tim's shop and squeezed past the patrons in the compact aisles inside. Erin and Fred followed her in or tried to, at least.
Tim was set to close at five p.m., just as he always did. He was keeping no special extended hours for the Stroll, since he had company in town. He might lose the business, but he didn't mind. It would be worth it to spend time with Kate and her folks. Nonetheless, as the festivities had died down on Main Street, the spectators had turned their attention to its many shops. Though Tim's was down at the lower end, out of the way, he still got hit hard. With only him to wait on people, it was slow going.
Having spotted Kate and her mom, Tim left his place behind the register where he had just been ringing some customer's items. He waved and motioned Kate further in. Then he pushed through the people to hang the closed sign in the door window. He noticed Mr. Lindstrom outside. Tim waved and beckoned him in. Kate's dad waved back with a smile and then shook his head, indicating that he would be okay where he was just the same. So that's where he remained – outside – waiting, patiently.
Tim made the announcement that he would be closing, and several would-be-buyers took the cue and left. The others dashed about in order to make their final purchases. Tim returned to the register and called to Kate over the murmur of the couple of shoppers remaining until the end. "I just have to take care of these few and then cash out, and then I'll be right with you guys."
Kate nodded and felt her anticipation building of the evening before them. Tonight, they would dine at the Jared Coffin House as Tim had suggested and for which he had secured a reservation weeks in advance. She looked forward to it and wanted to get started. Therefore, she secretly hoped the people holding things up for Tim would leave quickly.
She watched him thank his customers cordially and send them on their way with his ever-present smile. Even under pressure, he was a rock, secure, unruffled, calm, and relaxed. Kate envied him and wondered what thing, person, or situation would unnerve him. She pondered what it would take to cause this, normally, serene man to crack or reach his breaking point. Kate hoped she would never have to find out. The thought or possibility was not a reassuring one.
Kate came up along side Tim and leaned against the counter as he was straightening out some bills he had just taken from a customer. Kate made an offer to hurry the process along.
"Things are settled enough. I'll watch the counter if you want to start doing the receipts in the back. Any stuff I sell could go on Tuesday's receipts when you open again." Kate looked around the store and observed, jerking her chin in the direction of the few patrons, "There are only a few people left, anyway."
Tim followed her gaze and agreed. "Yeah, okay, that would be great! Thanks! I'll just be in the back if you need me," he told her as he emptied the cash drawer and headed to the office in the rear of the shop.
"No problem," assured Kate, "I've got it covered."
He grinned from his spot in the back as Kate went around the register to stand behind the counter, readily awaiting her next potential customer.
Tim sat down at the little desk he used to do the shop's books and to count the money, away from customers. It faced towards the door so he could have a clear view of the counter. He saw Kate waiting there, patiently, for her chance to help anyone who might require it. He grinned to himself and then set to the task in front of him, confident that Kate could handle anything on her own.
At first, Tim heard little, as he was absorbed in his counting and oblivious to everything around him. He was only vaguely aware of voices going in and out. Then he realized that Kate did, indeed, have a customer. He raised his eyes to see the interaction.
"Yes, I can help you with that."
Tim's mind, suddenly, went into a fog as if he were very, far away in a strange place, as if he were daydreaming or under the spell of some hypnotic trance as he watched and distantly heard Kate comment to the shopper.
"Yes, he does do excellent work. No, I'm not the owner, just a friend helping out."
Tim could not make out what the customer was saying in return, but he could judge what the conversation was by Kate's responses, and yet, it was almost as if he was too far away to hear even her. All he was aware of was her presence moving to and fro behind the counter, as he lost himself in the thought and image of how at home Kate appeared to him there in his little shop. Tim indulged himself further in this daydream and fantasy with a what if scenario, while he, simultaneously, listened to Kate offering to box and wrap some item for the customer.
Even though Tim saw Kate thanking the patron and saying goodbye, he only became cognizant after a few moments of her standing towards him with a quizzical expression asking non-verbally if he was okay as she smiled at him from her spot behind the counter. Once fully aware again, the spell having been broken, Tim awoke from the sweet reverie of the daydream he had just been experiencing precious seconds before.
He wondered if there was any chance it would ever come true for keeps. He smiled back, reassuringly, and returned once again to the receipts laid out in front of him.
37: The Paper~XXXVII~
THE following day was Sunday, and it was this day that Kate chose to give the paper to Tim. They were spending a quiet day at home and with her parents. It was an unusually blustery, gray day outside, and they didn't venture out except for church. That was okay by Kate. The weatherman had predicted possible snow, and Kate hoped it would be true, making their little scene even cozier.
Tim has asked her and the elder Lindstroms to help him decorate his Christmas tree, and they agreed. As they did so, Tim pulled out a small box all by itself, which he then handed to Kate. She was confused at first, but then as she opened it, a huge, astonished smile came to her face as she recalled the Christmas before when he had given her the crystal star ornament, which the package contained. She pulled it out of the box and held it in wonder by its string before her parents for them to see. They admired it appreciatively as she then hung it on the tree. Kate smiled up at Tim who was studying her thoughtfully while still managing a smile back.
In the late afternoon, while Erin Linstrom put the finishing touches on the tree with her husband standing by to supervise and offer his unsolicited advice, Kate took the opportunity to join Tim in kitchen where he was preparing hot chocolate for them all. His back was to her as she entered the room. She tapped him on the shoulder causing him to turn and face her. Taking a breath, Kate handed him the paper, her story, her one written work that she would share with him, about him, and exclusively for him, wrapped as it were, finished with a big bow.
"As I promised," she said, handing it to him. "And two weeks early," she added.
There was a mixture of surprise and anticipation on his face as he wordlessly set it down. Then grabbing two of the hot mugs on the counter, he rushed into the other room to bring the steaming chocolate to her parents. It shocked Kate a touch, as she had expected him to drop everything to read it, but before she could finish her thought, he had already rushed back into the kitchen and was handing her mug to her, picking up the paper in the process.
"I'm going to read it right now! I'll be in my room," he declared, almost as a challenge but in hushed tones as he then took off down the hall before Kate could respond.
Then wishing to be completely undisturbed as he read what he considered to be the treasure she had given him, he locked himself in his room. Kate became somewhat nervous and anxious at the seriousness with which he received the gift and at the importance he had placed upon reading it. She feared his expectations were too high and that the reality of what he would actually read would only leave him disappointed.
She shuffled out of the kitchen in her slippers, just as she would wear around the house in her own home, and she moved near the bay window in the dining room, alternating between watching the scene of her parents cleaning up the empty ornament boxes and peering down the hall towards Tim's room. Finally, she settled on gazing out the window for it had begun to snow, and she would delight, as she always did, in the new snowfall, trying in the process to forget her nerves.
She asked herself why she was concerned. Certainly, his opinion mattered to her, but how would he take it as it was all about him, the entire paper, for she had written a treatise in the guise of a letter to God on the subject of Tim O'Malley. The letter was all to do with their friendship and what it had meant to her and to her life. Will he understand it? Will he like it? These were the foremost questions in her mind as she stood by and waited.
In a half hours' time, Tim emerged from the sanctuary of his room. She heard the click of his door unlatch first, but then Kate sensed his presence even before he approached her.
He walked silently to her where she stood facing the bay window. She shifted partially to meet him, not yet daring to speak a word about the paper so afraid was she.
"It's begun to snow," she stated simply.
He stared at her intently. Brushing over her words, he urgently spoke her name, "Kate…" He paused before giving full emphasis to his next two words, which he actually seemed to breathe more than to speak. In any case, they were almost a whisper. "Thank you!"
It was all he would say about the paper that day, but Kate saw in his eyes everything he felt. She knew instinctively that she had touched him, moved him, and it was the first time her writing had brought her the kind of gratification she now experienced. She couldn't help smiling as he reached out and encircled her in his arms, drawing her very close to him.
They stood motionless, locked in a hug for what seemed like a small eternity. Kate could hear his heart beating as she pressed against his chest; she could feel his body radiating warmth in marked contrast to the snowy scene outside. As well, she could smell the faintest fragrance of cologne on him. These sensations to her senses were pleasant and comforting, and as a result, she sank deeper into his rich embrace.
Then Kate realized all at once how greatly content she felt, as she and Tim remained silhouetted, almost framed like a picture, there in front of the frosted bay window of the little house, while the snow beyond continued to fall.
38: A Game And An Offer~XXXVIII~
FRED and ERIN Lindstrom sat peacefully on the couch in front of the television as Tim and Kate watched them from their spot at the dining table.
“Look, they fell asleep,” observed Tim in a hushed whisper.
“Yeah, they’ll be fine,” Kate remarked. “It’s relaxing for them,” she concluded, turning her attention back to her Irish Coffee on the table before her. The drink was exquisitely made. Tim had made certain to add just the exact right amount of real cream on top. It would most certainly last to the bottom, as it had on the one before it.
Kate had come to enjoy the homemade kind more than the ones they had when they were out. Tim had really learned to master the trick to making a good Irish Coffee. Then again, as Kate mused, his family did own a bar, so he had better have learned how to make them, and to make them well, and so he always had plenty of Irish Whiskey and real cream on hand whenever Kate came to visit. It was actually a mandatory, unspoken statute of their time together.
After a casual early dinner, Kate, her mom, and Tim followed with a brief traipse outside to play in the snow, which had been minimal since Nantucket rarely saw any substantial storms. Mr. Lindstrom had remained behind indoors in the cozy shelter of Tim’s house to watch from the window the antics of three grown kids.
As evening set in, the foursome had settled into relaxing, with Kate’s parents retiring to the living room, promptly falling asleep on the couch, while Kate and Tim remained in the dining area. Having cleared the dinner dishes and cleaned up, they sat down to a nice, friendly game, or two or three, of Yahtzee, one of Kate’s favorite diversions, as she had fond memories of having always played the game with her brothers each visit home from California years before.
Kate was busily computing her score on the top section of her game card to see if she would be able to earn the extra points she required when Tim, suddenly and without warning, leaned across the table and whispered jubilantly, “This is nice, huh?”
Looking up at him with a humorous smile, Kate nodded before returning back to calculating her score.
It’d be great if it could be this way all the time, huh?” Tim continued on with eyes that conveyed merriment.
As she glanced up at him, once again, Kate thought she saw something else in Tim’s expression as well. She believed that something else to be hopefulness, but she chose to ignore it just the same.
“Yeah, just like in a fairy tale. Keep dreaming!” remarked Kate sarcastically. “Now what should I do with these?” She returned again to the numbers on her score card, unsure whether to insert the three fives she had just rolled into the top section of the card or into the three of a kind space on the bottom section.
Tim, undaunted, distracted Kate further. “I know a way it could be.”
“Could be what?” she asked, slightly annoyed at the break in her concentration.
“A way it could be like this all the time,” Tim said plainly but in all sincerity as he took a gulp of his Irish Coffee.
Kate, concentrating on her game, was only half listening to him. “I think I’ll put my fives in fives,” she finally decided with satisfaction, scoring her game card.
She set down pencil and paper, and reaching for her coffee again instructed Tim, “It’s your turn, Timmy boy.” Kate smiled as she waited for him to make his next roll of the dice. She rarely used his childhood nickname, so she was in good spirits to have used it this time.
Now Tim was the one distracted, as he appeared to be far off and deep in thought.
“Hey!” Kate called out to get his attention. Tim merely looked up at her. Trying to snap him out of his daze, she demanded to know, “Are we gonna finish this game or what?”
She waited for his response, which did not seem forthcoming as he was just staring at her. All at once a smile swept over Tim’s flushed complexion, which seemed to be ruddier than usual, made so by the Irish Coffees, Kate suspected, not aware that it was more due in part to the new thought that had just entered Tim’s mind seconds before.
“How about another game?” he suggested with a certain air of mischief.
“What? When I’m winning at Yahtzee, and I never win?” Kate questioned, appalled and slightly put out by the mere idea.
“We can continue this later,” Tim placated. “Let’s try my game for now, okay?” Judging by her furrowed brow, Tim beseeched in his sweetest voice, “Do me this one little favor, please! Just indulge me this one little thing.”
Kate was none too sure, but how could she deny him his wish when he was her host. “What’s it called?” she inquired, softening a bit.
Trying to think fast on his feet, Tim informed her, “It’s called What If.”
“What If? It sounds stupid! I never heard of it!” Kate scoffed, eyeing him skeptically.
“Well, give it a chance, will ya? It’s fun, you’ll see! You’re gonna love it!” Tim enthused, trying to sell her on it.
“Okay, how do you play?” she asked giving in or else giving up.
Tim thought for a moment. “Well, I’ll start by setting up a certain scenario that asks a question that begins with the words What If, and then, drawing your own conclusions, you answer or finish it!” he stated with certainty though he was making up the rules as he went.
“Huh?” A confused Kate queried. “How do you score this game?”
“Look, forget about scoring for now. I’ll start, see?” Tim rubbed his hands on his slacks as if to shake off his nerves. Then taking a deep breath, he began, “What If every day was like today?” He looked intently to Kate for the appropriate response.
Sitting back in her chair, Kate pointed to herself, and mouthing the words, asked “Me?” Tim pointed to her at the same time. Still unsure of his little game, she attempted to give it a try. Kate thought for a moment.
“What If every day was like today?” she repeated after him, giving it some consideration until suddenly she lit up as though an electric bulb had gone off in her head. She quickly perked up, giving him her first answer with some exaggeration, “Then we’d live on another planet?”
She looked to Tim for affirmation; he merely sat with his arms folded on the table before him. He studied her as she waited to see if she had done right or won some points or something! Kate still didn’t quite comprehend this new game, and she wasn’t entirely sure she liked it, but she trusted Tim to explain its finer points as they went along.
“Well, how did I do?” inquired Kate.
Tim sat transfixed as if he was absorbed in formulating something in his head all the while listening to her, as if preoccupied with two different trains of thought simultaneously. He, finally, responded, “Not bad, not bad; let’s try another one.”
He geared up again by taking a deep breath and launching into his next question. “What If instead of hours from each other, in different states, we lived in the same place?” Eyeing her expectantly, Tim awaited Kate’s answer.
“Then we’d live in an alternate universe?” she responded with some forced glee.
Tim moved quickly to the next question, this time without any hesitation. “What If this house was your home permanently?”
“Then I’d have inherited a fantastic gift from your will?” said Kate with a crooked grin and eyes bright with defiance.
Firing them off in rapid succession now, Tim, watching Kate, pressed on with his scenarios. “What If you didn’t have to go back to your job in Connecticut?”
“Then I’d have been kidnapped by wild gypsies?” Kate answered with a question as she had all the questions he had thrown at her. She did not understand the game and was becoming annoyed that Tim hadn’t given it up yet. Subsequently, his next scenario hit her like a bolt of lightning.
“What If …you married me?”
Silence descended upon the room with the full weight of a thousand bricks as Kate sat momentarily stunned and staring across the table at Tim who continued to watch her. She was trying to fathom in those seconds if he was still playing a game with her or if, in fact, he had ever really been playing at all! Kate, honestly, did not know. Tim held her gaze, unsmiling, intent, and waiting for her response. She shivered, though there was no chill in the air.
Suddenly, Kate broke the silence and the tension in the air, chortling nervously, “What kind of stupid game is this, What If? I think we better switch back to Yahtzee, a game I know!” She shook her head, straining to laugh all the while diverting her eyes from Tim’s intensive, disconcerting stare.
“Think about it, Kate,” he urged without a laugh as he drew her attention. She lifted her eyes to him as he continued, “No more boring, unfulfilled job, no more harried lifestyle, leaving all the places you dislike for all the places you love!” he finished and with what seemed like special added emphasis on his final word choice or so Kate believed.
She began to crack a smile as she relaxed a little on the outside though still somewhat shaky on the inside. She figured Tim must be kidding, and so she tried to treat the whole matter as such. “Sure, and ruin your life? I wouldn’t do it to you, Tim! You’re my friend, not my enemy!” Kate tried to joke in a half-hearted effort to lighten the mood and to get off the subject entirely and back to playing the game of dice.
Tim’s tone was light as he leaned back in his chair, taking his drink in hand, and replied nonchalantly and with a casual air, “I’d make the sacrifice for you, Kate.” He finished his Irish Coffee just as Kate began to laugh derisively.
“Now I know you’ve had too much to drink, Tim O’Malley! You’re cut off!” she exclaimed, as picking up her empty mug, Kate stood and moved to take his, pausing before him long enough to tease, “I think we’d better switch to regular coffee now.” She then began to brush past him.
Allowing Kate her escape, partially, Tim then spoke, with his back to her, “Well, the offer still stands, anyway.”
Halting in mid-step, Kate glanced over her shoulder at Tim’s somewhat slumped posture as he was leaning against the table again with his elbows. She wondered by his last words if he was serious or still playing. She could not tell, as she could not see his face. Hence, Kate could not be certain, being unable to judge his expression. Accordingly, the entire incident left her, in mind and in spirit, befuddled and confused.
She decided, at once, that Tim must have been joking, proposing just for fun! Kate shrugged it off and headed again for the kitchen. It would be the last she would hear anything on the subject of marriage, or so she thought, until the following spring.
39: Just Another Saturday Night~XXXIX~
ON their next weekend together, on a night like any other, on a beautiful, crisp spring evening in April, an event occurred which would affect the course of Tim and Kate's friendship forever. Seemingly small an occurrence, it would, nonetheless, have consequences that would alterably change them both for the immediate, and for years to come.
They were gathered at the usual time of year when they always called to remembrance their first meeting. The time had flown! Three years had gone by, and in no time flat, Kate and Tim were three years older, though neither felt it when with the other. Kate's gray hair was clearly more visible now than when they had first met, Tim's only speckled. Nevertheless, they both felt as young as if they were kids when they were together, and this occasion was no exception.
Tim had just made dinner for Kate as he had time and time before. He enjoyed cooking for her, and she liked that he didn't force her to help him and then yell and scold her as one such so-called friend had done in the past. Tim for his part, was always happy to just have Kate sit by and watch him throw something together, as she was content to do, while telling him all about the latest news in her life. Hence, this was the setting of what was to become a night like no other between them.
It was after dinner, and they were just finishing a second bottle of wine. They were, also, sitting on the couch together. The fire in the hearth was crackling and casting a reddish glow about the whole room. Kate was in the middle of, animatedly, describing one of her favorite scenes from a Spencer Tracy/Katharine Hepburn movie. Of course, this was not difficult for Kate to do since she knew each one of their nine films, faithfully, forwards and backwards. Tim listened intently, as he always did, amused but never interrupting her, which Kate greatly appreciated since, frequently, people did interrupt when she tended to ramble on at this breakneck speed.
Kate held her glass steadily in her hand, though she could feel the lightness she always experienced when she had had too much to drink. Consequently, she felt somewhat drowsy, as well, as she continued to speak.
The combination of sleepiness combined with the drink made for a not so unpleasant sensation, she had to admit, although Kate wished she could hold off the fatigue for a little while longer as she felt it was too early for the hour, which was fast approaching eleven o'clock. When Tim and she were together, they almost always stayed up well past midnight to prolong the precious hours and minutes they had together. She did not wish to see the occasion cut short now.
After a time, Kate noticed that Tim was leaning towards her. He had been sitting beside her, but now, almost without her being fully aware, he had managed to move subtly nearer to her until, finally, she realized, with some dismay, that he was much too close for comfort. In fact, he was really in what Kate liked to call the danger zone or, better still, her personal space, and she didn't take kindly to those who tried to invade her space!
Tim started to move further towards Kate, she recognized, as if he might try to make a move, but she held up her hand to stop him dead in his tracks.
"What are you doing?" she quietly but bluntly asked.
Tim didn't respond in speech. Instead he looked down at her hand, took it in his, held it close to his chest, and then looked up again as he leaned over and kissed her gently on the cheek.
Kate smiled. That's okay, she thought to herself, though it was a close call! There had been other instances when she had suspected that he might make a move to kiss her, but he never had, and Kate was relieved each time. Yet, as she silently mused over this, Tim suddenly, without warning, shifted from her cheek to her lips, totally catching her off her guard, causing her shock and turmoil, her eyes growing large as saucers, as he then released her hand only to slide both his hands around her waist. Instantly, her body, reflexively, stiffened, drawing away.
Feeling the tension in her, Tim momentarily pulled back to further gauge Kate's reaction to his sudden, romantic overture.
Her hands, in defense, went up immediately between them. He still held her, and they stared at each other for a very, long moment. Her look was one of confusion and bewilderment, his, one of searching, but then Kate did something that surprised herself as much as Tim.
Throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him close, she kissed him! Tim's eyes now flashed wide open at Kate's unexpected return gesture, but quickly getting over his own shock, he immediately closed them again and kissed back, wrapping his arms even tighter around her.
For an instant, Kate thought, This is the alcohol in me. It's not really me! Realizing that it had to be the only explanation for what she had done, she believed it to be the liquor that became the impetus for what had given her the courage to do such a bold and radical thing on her part! Otherwise, she could not fathom it in her own mind.
Tim didn't care what had caused her to be so brave, he was just glad that she had been, and he was enjoying her fearless move immensely!
The first kiss had been gentle, sweet, and lingering. This kiss, the second, had more intensity, fervor, and urgency as all the years of pent-up emotion and longing finally were released through the flood gates of sheer jubilation of such a moment affords. It was a monumental act! After all, they had only ever shook hands, embraced, or kissed casually before this night.
Tim and Kate broke free of each other, laughing, which was quite natural, as they had shared laughter in most of their moments together. So they did in this their most one to date.
Kate touched Tim's face and his lips with her hands. She felt his love and saw his admiration in eyes gazing upon her in wonderment at the act she had just initiated. Hence, with unparalleled joy, they fell into each other's embrace again and kissed once more!
She wondered for a second how this would affect their friendship later on, but tonight, she really didn't care. Kate had tried for years to suppress this natural desire in her of wanting this kind of affection. She had told herself over and over that she didn't need it, but how she had struggled against her desire for it, crying to God at breaking points for the longing to lessen, be stripped away or else for a complete absence from her life all together as other single, older women she knew seemed to experience.
Now she could not deny that she did want this physical love and interaction, that she needed it, for it was as much a part of her existence and as vital to her being as the blood coursing through her veins or the air around her that she breathed, and here she was at it as much as Tim! It was total and mutual between them.
Where will we go from here? Where will we end? Still, as Kate silently wondered, her hands slid up to Tim's hair, and she felt all of its beautiful richness at her fingertips in that caress. Never had she felt so moved as to attempt this with other men, too timid or nervous or shy, or perhaps, lacking passion.
Not so with this one, however. It all felt completely natural to Kate with Tim, almost second nature to her. She had always worried that if she ever had the chance to show affection that she would she be rigid and cold, but in this case, at this time, in Tim's living room, in his arms, Kate felt an overwhelming desire in this simple act and a curiosity to experience more. Moreover, she no longer felt drowsy or in a lethargic state from the wine. It was almost as if someone had flipped a switch, and she had awakened from a long, deep slumber with every nerve ending in her body alive and well.
All at once, Kate felt herself being lifted up and carried surely and steadily to another place. She realized this was literally true as well as figuratively as she opened her eyes long enough to see that while she and Tim had been kissing, he had managed to pick her up in his arms and whisk her away, and was now carrying her down the hall and into another room, his room.
Laying Kate gently down, and parting from her, Tim sat on the edge of the bed to gaze at her. He rested his arms on either side of her subdued form. She stared up at him with languid eyes and sighed deeply. He studied her a moment longer. Then he bent down to kiss her once more, very gently, his kiss just brushing her lips, barely there, touching her like in a dream or in a whisper.
She automatically closed her eyes to meet this new sensation. Again, he pulled away and reaching past her to the lamp on the stand, Tim put out the only light.
The room became total darkness for her, and that was the last Kate remembered.
40: The Morning After~XL~
KATE awoke to the smell of bacon and the feel of warm, streaming sunshine upon her face. She could not ever recollect a more restful sleep. Slowly becoming more fully conscious, she tried to take in her surroundings as she struggled at alertness, her brain cloudy and her faculties muddled in the morning light. She stretched languorously.
At first, unsure of where she was, Kate then began to recall the night before. Suddenly aware that she was in Tim's bed, not the one she normally slept in, she raised her head off the pillow and lifted the blanket to carefully glance under the covers.
Relieved to discover that she was still partially clothed, Kate dropped back on the bed, and slapped a hand to her forehead in disbelief. The question foremost in her mind: How did I get here?
Knowing full well the person to give her the answer, Kate quickly flung off the bedding, hopped out, and reached for the item nearest, Tim's bathrobe at the edge of the bed. She was on a mission to get to the truth, and so she sought him out, though not before a quick run to the bathroom.
Appalled by what she saw in the mirror, Kate tried to fix her hair using Tim's brush. She, also, quickly tried to clean her teeth using her finger and his toothpaste. She didn't have time to get her toiletries bag out. She was too anxious to learn what had occurred the night before that had landed her in his bed. As it was, she didn't look much improved after these futile attempts at hasty hygiene. In fact, Kate decided she looked a fright, but it would have to suffice for the time being, as more important issues were at stake than her appearance.
Walking slowly to the dining area, Kate tried to appear calm and sedate. She found Tim at the table reading the newspaper, fully dressed, and looking the total opposite of her, in other words, great! She stood there in place, in his bathrobe, staring at him for what seemed like forever. At last, he looked up.
"Well, good morning!" Tim exulted, delighted to see her. "You were a real, sleepy head this morning, huh?" he teased. Then taking note of her attire, he commented, "Wow, you look great in my robe! Better than I do, in fact. I should give you my clothes to wear more often!"
He was, of course, teasing her, but it did nothing to put Kate at ease. "Uh, huh," was all she could mumble. Watching him, not quite sure how to ask him the million dollar question, she remained standing in the same place as when he had first spotted her.
Sensing her there, Tim glanced up at Kate again. Smiling, he remarked, "I made some breakfast for us. Sorry, I went ahead and ate already." Quizzically, noticing her dumb stare, Tim motioned, "Have a seat. You all right? You look kind of stymied."
Snapping out of her frozen stance, but still glancing to Tim, Kate moved to sit down. Deciding to proceed cautiously, she started her quest for the truth, by asking, "Well, I'm a little foggy this morning." Kate laughed nervously and continued, "And more than a little confused."
"Oh? Well, maybe I can help," offered Tim. "Tell me, what's on your mind?"
"Well, mainly…" Kate began, trying to find the right words. Uncertain and finally out of patience, she blurted out her real question. "What happened last night?"
Tim, sitting back in his chair, immediately appeared stunned.
Kate blundered on, "I mean, I remember us drinking and sitting on the couch and…" She stopped herself.
"And…" Tim prompted her, waiting for her to finish, and curious to see what her conclusion would be.
Kate, unable to prolong the moment any longer, shortly answered, half-truthfully, "And…I don't remember!" She was partly lying because she did remember the kiss and being carried off to bed by Tim, holding onto him while kissing and embracing the whole time, but she relayed none of this to him except by her look which told Tim that she knew far more than she was letting on.
So he leaned forward across the table, and looking her right in the eye, asked suspiciously and wickedly, "And that's all you remember?"
Kate noted that Tim's eyes were practically dancing in his head as he posed his inquiry. She tried hard to ignore his merriment, which was further cause for her uneasiness and worry.
"Yes," she lied.
"Well, I'm hurt, Kate, very, very hurt!" Tim exclaimed, "It was a night of incredible passion, that's what!" He stood up to throw another log on the fire.
Aghast with disbelief, Kate yelled, "What do you mean? You're lying!"
She, as yet, could not bring herself to accept that anything had really happened between them, but she still could not recall that nothing had either. She had no choice but to rely on Tim to tell the truth.
"How could I be lying?" he asked as he looked over his shoulder at her.
The deviltry in those eyes was beyond compare. Kate decided that he was teasing her. She didn't believe him, and yet, there was some doubt in her, as well. Never before had she forgotten events when she had drunk alcohol. If anything, her memories were even more acute. Ergo, how could she have forgotten now? Kate guessed that she and Tim must have kissed, and that's all! She then fell asleep, but still, how did she…
"I don't believe a word you've said!" she stated emphatically. Then softening, Kate quietly wondered aloud "Only, I don't know how…"
With a twinkle in his eye, Tim finished her half-spoken thought. "How you got from here to there and ended up in that?" He pointed to the couch, then to his room, and, finally, to her attire, as she only had her thermal undershirt and bottoms on beneath his robe, along with a pair socks.
Nodding her head slightly, Kate looked at him perplexed. Then seeing that he wasn't going to volunteer any answers readily, she decided on a different approach, one that she hoped would necessitate his telling her simply on the challenge factor alone.
"Well, I don't know," she began, "but I don't believe anything happened."
Tim shook his head. "All right, if that's what you believe, I can't argue with you." He returned to the table, sat back down again, and picking up the paper, smiled at Kate, cheerily, before continuing to read.
She sat there for a minute in silence. Then seeing that her tactic had failed miserably and that she had badly estimated his fortitude in keeping secrets, as well as, her inability to keep this little cat and mouse game going much longer, especially as she was losing badly, Kate admitted defeat and opted for directness, at last.
Yanking the newspaper down in front of Tim, she roared in frustration, "All right! What exactly did happen?"
"Oh, you're ready for the whole sordid truth?"
Kate put a hand to her head as she leaned on the table with her elbow. She let out an exasperated sigh. "Yeah, I think so," she replied nervously and woefully.
Tim stared at her for a long moment as if trying to ascertain whether her fragile state could handle the monumental facts. He took a deep breath as he started, "All right, we were sitting on that couch, you and I." Tim got up and walked over to it as if to demonstrate. Kate sat bolt upright and followed him with her gaze.
Glancing down at the couch as if seeing the scene replayed before them, Tim gestured with a circular motion of his hand. "You and I, having a nice, little time, and then I kissed you," he stated simply as if it was an everyday occurrence. Seeing that he had her undivided attention as Kate sat transfixed, utterly quiet, listening to his tale, Tim continued spiritedly, "Then, amazingly enough, you kissed me!" His expression conveyed surprise as if he was experiencing it all over again. Then came an interruption.
"Will you get past all that, already?" demanded Kate, impatiently, though aware in the next instant by Tim's raised brow that she had just given away the fact that she did know more than she had, originally, led on.
"Oh, so you do remember…some," he observed, secretly delighted. Yet, seeing her daggers for eyes at that moment, he quickly asked politely and cordially, "Shall I go on?"
Kate responded in like manner though sarcastically so. "By all means, please do, and take your time! I have all day," she said forcing a smile between gritted teeth.
Tim nodded agreeably and grinning ever so slightly, he went on. "Then…we got into some serious…passionate…necking…" he related with hesitation as if to draw out her suspense as long as possible, "…at which I carried you from the couch …to my …room."
"Yeah?" Kate asked barely breathing, waiting for him to finish, and soon!
Noting her anxious face, Tim took full advantage, pausing interminably throughout his story, driving Kate monstrously mad as it felt like forever each time he did this trick. She was beginning to wonder if he'd ever finish the tale.
"Then I set you down…on the bed…" Tim murmured, his voice becoming almost a whisper.
"Yeah…" Kate whispered back.
"Then I kissed you again…"
"Okay…"
"Then I looked into your eyes …"
"And?" Kate asked, literally on the edge of her seat now, as she had been turning and moving her body with every turn of his story until she was finally hanging off her chair, practically.
"Then I turned out the light …" he relayed in a husky, hushed tone.
Suddenly, Tim halted the story, completely, just as Kate was hanging on his every word. She waited for him to continue for what felt like an eternity, but he just stood there staring off in the distance in a dreamy state as if reliving every second. It was the longest pause on record. Kate could stand it no longer.
"And?" she shouted in exasperation, causing Tim to, instantly, snap out of his reverie, which may or may not have been real, and which may or may not have been for her benefit. She would never know. In any case, he concluded the story swiftly and without flourish.
"At which, you promptly fell fast asleep," he finished matter-of-factly, taking up his seat again next to her at the table.
"I fell asleep?"
"You fell asleep."
It was not the end Kate had expected, but she exhaled an immediate sigh of gladness. She had not even been aware that she had been holding her breath for several seconds while Tim relayed to her the whole episode. Now she could breathe easier and normally as everything was out in the open, at last.
"So…it's not that I didn't remember…it's that I fell asleep!" Kate marveled and smiled.
"Exactly!" Tim exclaimed, giving Kate an emphatic nod. "Plain and simple."
"So nothing happened?" she confirmed.
"Nothing happened," he repeated.
Kate pictured the whole scene in her mind as Tim had explained it to her, and she could see plain as day now that it had played out exactly as he had said.
"Yes," she murmured contentedly, "I believe you."
"Well, good! I certainly hope so, since, of course, nothing happened! You think I'd take advantage of you in an intoxicated state or in any other state?! Tim admonished. "What kind of a man do you take me for?" he questioned her with arms outstretched with outrage and mocked wounded pride.
Stifling a laugh at his play on words, and at his feigned, injured character, Kate informed him, "Well, believe me, I've known plenty that have tried!"
"Yes, I'm sure you have," Tim responded, seemingly uninterested as he picked up his newspaper again, pretending not to notice her subdued grin.
All at once, Kate's smile from a moment before disappeared with her next sudden and disturbing thought that she tried to voice, "But…
"How did you get undressed?" Tim completed her question, rapidly following it with his readied answer, "Yes, I did take the liberty of taking off what clothing I could to make you a little more comfortable."
Before Kate could protest or express horror at being unclad while she was out like a light, Tim quickly added, "But I didn't see anything, which is the honest to God's truth since you wear so many layers, it would be near impossible to see anything, anyway!"
"Oh," was all she could say at first to which Tim merely nodded, looking away. She was still trying to absorb it all, then to herself more than to him, Kate wondered, "How could I not have woken up, I'm such a light sleeper?"
"I was very gentle," Tim remarked with the barest twist to his mouth.
Quickly, she remembered another question, "And where did you …"
"Where did I sleep?" he finished as he glanced up at her.
Kate nodded again, grateful that he wasn't making her finish all these embarrassing questions on her own.
"In the room you always do," Tim clarified as he looked back down.
Still confused, Kate voiced one more question, "Why not have carried me to that room instead?"
Tim grinned, studying her briefly. "Picky, Picky, aren't we? " He didn't wait for her response. Still grinning, he replied casually, "I'll admit, I was swept away for a moment in the throes of passion, but then good sense prevailed."
Breathing easily again, Kate finally offered, "Thank you."
"You're welcome," he answered, returning to the paper before him.
In secret, Kate knew she was thanking him not only for having told her the truth, of filling in the blanks for her, but just as much for not having taken advantage of the situation of her shameful condition of that night, which would have been so easy to do if she had been that far gone to have fallen asleep on him. Of course, the question still remained that if she had been awake, what would they have done? What would have transpired then?
Kate, however, pushed any other unsettling thoughts from her mind as she felt an overwhelming sense of relief wash over her, and serenity. At once, she, cheerily, started to heap her plate full of food. She could relax with the knowledge of the previous night behind her, or so she thought.
"Well, that is a relief," she said.
"Yes, isn't it?" Tim remarked blandly.
Ignoring his comment, Kate rambled on, "I mean, it's not that you're not attractive or anything, but I just think that would have destroyed what we have."
"Mmmm," he grunted, half-listening.
Without waiting for his further response or opinion, Kate hungrily began to devour the food before her. She had been so caught up in her dilemma of a few moments ago, that she hadn't realized how famished she was. She was thankful to finally be able to eat, unhindered, as Tim seemed absorbed otherwise.
As if he read her mind and wasn't about to let her alone in peace, having heard her every word, Tim, without looking up, added his own thought, "Besides, I really think it's best that we wait until we're married."
Just then, an ear-shattering crash split the air, deafening the room.
41: Revelations And Reckonings~XLI~
KATE'S fork had hit the plate with such force that for a moment she wondered if she had cracked it. Tim glanced over his paper to see what she had done. Spotting no damage, he returned to his reading though not before catching her look of total bewilderment.
"What?" asked an astonished Kate who stared stupefied in Tim's direction.
Tim put the paper down slowly. "I think you heard me," he responded coolly.
"I heard what you said, but what did you mean by it?" Kate was almost afraid to ask as she sat dumbfounded at the bomb he had just dropped upon her and unsure what her ears were telling her. A dark cloud suddenly hung over the room, mirrored by the disappearance of the sun outside. Kate wondered if it was an omen.
Tim began very, slowly and methodically to fold the newspaper as he began to answer her not daring to look at her just yet. "It's very simple, Kate. We've reached the point in our relationship, I'd say, we're ready for the next step. Your fortieth birthday is coming up. It might just be a nice time to announce an engagement, " he finished, sounding quite casual and relaxed, which only served to unnerve her all the more.
Kate sat staring at him for a good sixty seconds, occasionally blinking her weary eyes as she tried to fathom his words. Was he teasing her again or playing a game with her as he had done last December?
Out of the corner of his eye, Tim watched Kate with a keen alertness. He could visually see her tensing up by the second, a fuse ready to ignite. He sat back and braced himself for the explosion. Sure enough it came and with the full, gale force of a hurricane.
"I don't believe this!" Kate exclaimed at last. She pounded her fist on the table for added emphasis, as if it were necessary. The volume of her voice alone was enough to shake the foundation of the house.
Tim looked up at her with total calm to match her sudden fury. Nevertheless, he spoke swiftly and purposefully with total conviction. "What? What don't you believe, Kate? That after three years, it would come to this? That the natural outcome of this, of us, would be marriage?!" He leaned across the table as he elaborated each of his points. "Or don't you believe that I love..."
Kate began to shake her head as if to ward off his words. "Don't! Don't you do it! Don't you go and say it!"
"What, Kate? Don't say what? That I love you?" Tim stood now as he spoke and moved towards her, bent close enough to her ear so there could be no mistaking what he was about to say. "Well, guess what, Kate? I love you! Do you hear me? I…LOVE…YOU!" He enunciated each word slowly and deliberately for her benefit, nearly yelling the words in her ear so she could not fail to hear or misunderstand them.
Kate shut her eyes, momentarily, in frustration and angst. When she opened them again they were full of anger. "You had to go and do it, didn't you?" She accused. "You couldn't leave well enough alone; couldn't leave things the way they were!" She looked up at Tim who was now standing upright again, looking down at her with an expression of subtle victory.
"Yeah, that's right, and if you think I upset the apple cart with that one, well, wait until you get a load of what I'm gonna say next." Tim paused as if for dramatic effect. "Not only do I love you, but what's more, I'm willing to BET that you love me, too!" At that, he plopped back down in his chair and waited for Kate's next tirade. It didn't take long, though not before she first glared at him.
"No, No!" Kate repeated, shaking her head slowly. "That's where you're wrong." Practically on the verge of hysterics, she shrieked, "Sorry! You're wrong!" She looked away, no longer able to keep eye contact but still shaking her head and muttering the words low as if to convince herself more than him.
"Oh, really?" Tim asked with casual ease as he relaxed back in his chair with his legs stretched out, one laying over the other, and his arm resting on the seat back. "Tell me, why do you keep coming to the island?"
Kate responded defensively and half-truthfully, generally, as Tim expected. "I like the scenery! And I enjoy the atmosphere. I like the ambiance of the island." He noted that she almost seemed to be fishing for reasons, purposefully, unrelated to him.
"Is that all?" He asked plaintively.
"No, that's not all!" Kate sounded off caustically at first, but then she continued more quietly. "There is our relationship." Immediately, Tim raised an eyebrow in surprise at her particular word choice, which she quickly quelled by further explaining, "Though it's not of the nature that you suggest!"
"Really?" Tim commented more than asked.
"Yes, really!" Kate exclaimed at once.
Well, Kate," Tim said with a grin, "if I had any doubts, they were cleared up very, nicely for me last night." He imparted his latest blow with the same confident assurance as with everything in his life.
"What's that suppose to mean?" Kate demanded in a state of utter grievance.
"Last night told me how you really feel!" Tim, suddenly, sat upright and leaned forward, tapping the table with his forefinger, somewhat excitedly, and with a mean glint in his eye, though still with some measure of calm. "That was the biggest sign of all that we're ready," he finished with a breath of triumph.
Kate was flabbergasted. She jumped up and out of her chair as she aimed to correct Tim in his thinking, immediately. "Last night was nothing!"
He looked at her with an expression that told her to be very careful what she chose to say next. "Okay, it was something... it was… lust," she concluded more calmly and with a shrug. She had moved to the center of the living room by this point having felt trapped previously.
"Lust?" Tim questioned her skeptically and knowingly.
"Yep, that's right, lust. Lust and liquor," Kate reiterated without missing a beat. "It's a scenario as old as time. It's what happens when you get two people together who have had a little too much to drink. The liquor makes them amorous, hence, the lust! Very simple," Kate explained academically, casually throwing her hands to her sides, feeling assured that she was back on solid ground now and had the upper hand in the debate, at last.
Tim now bolted out of his chair to walk over to where she stood. There was fire in his eyes and challenge. "Oh, I see. So in other words, were I to kiss you now when we're both sober, then you'd feel nothing at all?" He held up a finger quickly and warned her in a dangerously, quiet tone, not quite a whisper, "Be careful."
"Well," Kate began slowly and cautiously as she tried to talk her way out of this new sticky situation she had gotten herself into and, previously, not seen coming, "I didn't say I wouldn't feel anything, but..."
Tim cut her off with an abrupt "Shall we see?" as he caught her off guard, grabbing her by both arms and pulling her towards him in one swift, blurred motion. Before she had time to register that move, he was kissing her, full on the mouth! Kate felt every hair on her arms and neck stand on end, while a sensation akin to an electrical jolt ran up and down her spine. Her eyes closed automatically.
Tim released Kate as abruptly as he had grabbed her. He studied her for a moment to gauge her reaction. She slowly opened her eyes, looking slightly disoriented as she tried to comprehend what had just happened. Kate would not regain composure fully, however, since just as she was starting to utter the words, "Don't do that again..." holding up a finger in protest to ward him off, Tim grabbed her a second time, more fiercely than the first, and kissed her with greater intensity, ferocity, and determination than he had before. Again, Kate's eyes closed.
A long time ago, Kate had come to disbelieve what the novelists would write about heart stopping kisses of fiction's heroes and heroines, because she had never experienced it in all of her adult life. Those types of passionate exchanges between men and women simply did not exist in real life, only in the writer's imagination or maybe in an author's secret wishes or so she had concluded. Now Kate felt, beyond a shadow of a doubt, as though she, finally, understood what the novelists had meant.
She sensed, more than being aware really, her hand drop to her side and her body go limp. She simply allowed him to release this latest assault on her person and on her senses, but oh, what a pleasurable attack it was, she had to admit, at least to God and to herself in her own mind.
When Tim relaxed his grip and his mouth, he stepped back from Kate where she stood with her eyes still closed, her lips still poised, and her body swaying as if she were on the brink of a huge precipice. He stood for a moment studying her immobile form. Quietly, he returned to his seat. He let her stand there a little while longer in that position while he absorbed the image of her. Tim waited, patiently, for Kate to realize he was gone. Finally, he decided to help her. Letting out a little cough and clearing his throat, he asked, nonchalantly, from across the room, "So how do you feel or do you feel anything at all?"
Kate opened her eyes, slowly, as if waking from some kind of deep sleep. She looked in the direction of his voice. Still somewhat dazed, she opened her mouth to respond but was only capable of letting out a breath. She stood bewildered and flushed, trying to ascertain what had just taken place a moment or two before; how much time had lapsed, she was unsure.
From across the room, Tim sat with one leg resting across his opposite knee as he grinned slightly, stating matter-of-factly and somewhat smugly, "Thank you! I just got my answer. That proves it! That proves you love me!" He returned his attention back to the paper that lay in front of him on the table.
His words were enough to jar Kate out of her trance completely and back to her senses. She flew across the room to where he sat. Glaring at him, she practically screamed, "What?! That doesn't prove anything except that maybe you're a good kisser!"
He glanced up at her. "Thank you," Tim responded, jovially, as he would any compliment paid to him though that had not been Kate's purpose in saying it, and he knew it, which infuriated her all the more. His gaze fell back to his paper again.
"Why you conceited son of ..." pausing in mid-curse, enraged, Kate grabbed the paper away from him and threw it down, managing in the process to sputter, "Be serious!"
Tim directed his full attention to Kate now as he spoke with quiet calm and dead sincerity. "I am serious, Kate, and I have been, but it's time for you to get serious and to stop lying to me and to yourself." He cocked his head to one side as he awaited her response.
With her honesty now in question and put on the spot by his challenge, Kate tried a new approach, softening as she did. She started off on the right foot, standing confidently before him and trying to look him in the eye, which at first was working admirably.
"All right, you want me to tell you the truth," she said, her voice steady, "okay, here it is: I do love you, you're right! I admit it; it's true!" Just then Kate faltered, her assurance of a moment ago gone as she stumbled verbally, almost choking on her words. "But… I don't …love you …in the way you think …or want me to. I love you …as just a friend." On those her final words, Kate tried to make eye contact but was unable. She started to turn and look away.
Tim, who had been listening to her intently until now, smirked a little. "Well, Kate, I don't think 'just friends' kiss in the way we just did a few moments ago, but I hear what you're saying, and I'll go you one better." Tim stood as Kate sat down slowly realizing her tactic had garnered no effect. He continued, "Marriage is a friendship, 24/7, a deep, abiding friendship twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week." He advanced closer to Kate with each word he spoke, bending so as to be eye-level with her. Tim laid one hand on the back of her chair and the other on the table in front of her so that she was encircled by his formidable presence, at this point, as he spoke in an almost menacing tone. "That's what I want. I want you here with me all the time, not just part of the time, not just a few days or weeks out of the year. I want you to be my wife. I want you to go to sleep at night with me in that bed," he said quietly with a glance toward his bedroom which she followed briefly with her eyes, "and I want you to wake up beside me every morning."
At this, Kate averted her eyes from his gaze which was all too penetrating. Tim's final words came to bare on her the hardest, "And I don't want any more excuses about it, especially concerning bad marriages since I've shown you a good one, a great one!" As he concluded, he backed away from her to stand against the wall. Kate began to cringe and squirm uncomfortably.
"You mean Paddy and Annie's?" she asked bluntly to which he nodded firmly. Kate bit her lower lip as she looked up at him with troubled eyes. "That's just it! I don't think I can live up to it." She looked away in turmoil. "I just don't think I have it in me."
With his arms folded across his chest, Tim regarded her gently. "Nobody's asking you to mirror their marriage, Kate." He questioned her softly, "But what makes you think that you wouldn't have it in you?
She turned on him with a challenge in her expression and queried him sharply, "What makes you think I would?"
Calmly and just as gently as before, Tim responded, "Because I know you."
Kate shook her head, slowly, and with a sudden realization which she bitterly imparted to him, "You don't know me at all! You think you know me, but there's a big difference between spending a few days together compared to a lifetime. What, we've seen each other maybe a dozen times over the last three years! How would you know me?" She continued her scrutiny.
Tim shot back, "Right, Kate, like I don't know how you swear under your breath when you're angry or how you get dark circles under your eyes when you don't get enough sleep or how you sleep with your mouth open!"
"How do you know I sleep with my mouth open?" Kate asked, suddenly curious and at once alarmed.
"Never mind! The point is I know because I know you!" Tim responded adamantly.
Kate gave him her most direct stare to try to make him understand. "There are things worse than that, things in my past!"
Tim threw up his hands in exasperation. "I don't care, Kate! If it's part of what made you who you are then I'm glad because that's the person I love, but I'm not interested in the past, only in this present and in any possible future between us!"
Kate began to shake her head again denying his words. "You say that now, but you'd grow tired of me; you'd grow to hate me!"
"Then you don't know me at all, Kate," he accused sadly.
Miserably and pathetically, Kate looked away, uttering, "I don't know what you see in me."
Tim went down on one knee to her just then, and taking one of her hands in his, with his other hand he tenderly and lovingly caressed her face. With a voice full of emotion and concern, he asked, "Kate, who did this to you? Who made you feel so low about yourself as to take away your self-worth?"
Her eyes began to tear up as did Tim's, and Kate thought she would cry though she fought against it. Tim took a breath and with quite rage whispered, teeth gritted, "Whoever he was, I'd like to beat the living hell out of him!"
Tim, who never swore or cursed in the three years they had been friends, had just shown Kate his depth of caring. Looking far off into the distance, she commented remotely, "Mmmm, my brother once said almost the same thing."
He pulled her back to the here and now. Grabbing both her hands in his own and forcing her attention back to him, he looked directly into her eyes. "Kate, you asked what I see in you; I see love!" He searched her eyes as he continued. "I've always seen it from the first moment we met when I came across you standing in front of my shop with your eyes closed and the sun shining on your face, and you were loving it, loving life in that moment! It took my breath away! You love with everything you have whether it's the island or films or Irish Coffees," he grinned, "or in recent years, even me. I've been the fortunate recipient of that love, also."
Kate could only stare at him, uneasily, as he told her why he loved her, what he found lovable about her, but somehow inside, her heart felt lighter. Tim wasn't finished. He still had one more truth to reveal that Kate needed to hear badly, and he pressed on as gently as he could.
"You've always had great love; now it's time to have great faith!" Her expression changed to one of surprise as he knew it would. Tim went on, "For all of your religiousness, you lack faith! God, you're so afraid to take a chance, Kate, that you don't have faith in me or yourself or in us together." He shook his head uncomprehendingly, "I don't understand it! You took a chance, a leap of faith, when you went to California. You took a chance when you came back home. You even took a chance when you came to Nantucket the first time, and another chance when you came back a second time!" Tim's voice became excited as he laid his proposal before her, laying his heart bare to her, as a result, imploring, "Can't you take a chance now and have faith in us that we will work out?"
Kate said not a word but her eyes were full of love and kindness to this man she had come to know so fully who was proposing marriage to her. Her eyes held something else in them as well as she gazed from his eyes to his hands. She remained silent. Tim began to smile as he, gently and sweetly, looked up into her downcast face, which compelled her to look into his again.
"Kate, please! I'm down on my knees to you! I love you! Will you marry me?"
There were the words, the words she had hoped he would never say; the words she had anticipated with dread.
She looked from his eyes to his hands and back again, and it was then that Tim caught sight of that terrible enemy in her countenance that he thought he had vanquished months ago. Kate was torn, that much was evident, but what was tearing her up inside and clearly visible in her anguished expression was fear, worse fear than Tim had ever seen in her in the time he had known her, and in the face of that dark demon, he was helpless and, suddenly, hopeless. His smile disappeared, and he cringed as he let go of her hands and began to look away, to recoil, to turn away, utterly stunned, knowing full well his own expression to be one of total devastation and pain.
And Kate had spotted it, would have been blind to have missed it, as she tried to reach for him and felt him slipping from her in more ways than the one. She began to fight back the flood of tears that were about to overcome her, to hold them at bay at least long enough to try and salvage things. He had stood by now and was moving away from her, as far as possible.
"Tim, please, listen to me! I didn't want to hurt you, but really, it's better this way!"
"How? How is it better?" Tim managed to find his voice again after initial hoarseness had half strangled it, choking the words as they caught in his throat.
"Better in that I don't want to destroy what we have! Can't you see that, Tim?" came Kate's own voice breaking almost into a whimper. He did not answer her. "Truly, it's better this way. There's no chance of it being spoiled!" She hoped he'd understand.
Suddenly, he looked at her with a weary glance. "And no chance for anything truly better or truly real," he countered sadly.
"What could be better than this?" Kate asked, trying to sound positive and lighthearted, and failing miserably. She shifted in her chair to follow his every move. He paced slowly about.
Tim took a deep breath and looked down. Running his hand through his hair, hair that she herself had caressed only the night before, he muttered, "Oh, almost anything I think. I had a glimpse last night, Kate, a hint of something better."
"You can't hold that over my head!" she insisted. "Last night was a one time thing, a miscalculation, a lapse in judgment, a mistake!" The second the words were out of her mouth Kate regretted them for he turned on her then, and the look in his eyes was unbearable, one that spoke of disbelief, disappointment, and then profound sorrow.
The harshness of Kate's words cut through him to the core, leaving him temporarily speechless, but then Tim recovered enough to firmly remind her, "You see it that way; I don't. I see it as a gift and what should be."
Noticing the sound of defeat and sadness in his voice, Kate spoke in her most confident manner to convince him, "Tim, what we have is better than marriage. With friendship, there's no chance of failure or far less chance, anyway!"
He glared over at her. "Is that what you think?" he questioned in a low, dark tone. He was standing about as far across the room from her as he could without being in the next room. Kate nodded feebly in response, and he turned away again, his back now to her so that his face was blocked from her view.
She could see that he was clenching his fists. Kate, nervously, wondered for a split second if he might possibly be considering strangling or even striking her! Assured he would never do such a thing, his present frame of mind still frightened her as she had never witnessed him in this horrible emotional state before this day.
It suddenly occurred to Kate that months ago she had contemplated what would push him to edge, be his breaking point. She need not fathom it any longer; she had her answer. Little did she know then that she would be the cause.
Inside, her stomach was a tangle of knots. Outwardly, however, Kate, who previously had tried to remain calm throughout to get him to see her point in all its practicality, now quietly waited for his verdict, certain that he would agree with her and see it her way as he always had agreed with her in the past, on most things, but when he spoke again, his voice was not agreeable nor was it disagreeable. It simply was monotone and void of any emotion whatsoever.
"Then I'm sorry, Kate, for what I'm about to say, because I know it's going to hurt you, but I can't help that at this point." He had half-turned as he spoke the first. Now he made an about turn to face her as he readied the second. He continued in his flat, barren tone, "Friendship is just not enough for me any longer. I need something more; I want something more." He paused for a moment, and Kate held her breath waiting for what his next embittered words would be. When they finally came, she was unprepared for the blow they would deliver.
Tim spoke slowly, mechanically. "For that reason, I think it would be best if we didn't see each other again." He merely followed that statement with a glance in her general direction.
Shock swept over Kate and kept her from speaking initially as her mouth dropped open and her breathing became shallow, but then anger rising inside of her forced her out of her chair and over to where he stood. She wouldn't allow anyone to coerce her this way, not even him, though she sensed no malice in his proclamation. Still, in a controlled but bitter vein, she confronted him. "What is this, Tim, emotional blackmail? What are you doing? Holding a gun to my head? 'Marry me or else'!"
"Not at all," he responded calmly, too calmly, looking her dead-on. "I'm merely making a choice as you have. I don't see where it gets us to continue when it would only be a charade, and maybe apart we can each get on with our lives..."
His words echoed painfully in her ears back to a time long ago when she herself uttered similar words and had wounded another with the same kind of hurt because then she had been the one rejected. For a second, Kate's mind went numb as she thought, What goes around, comes around. Dear God, my own words coming back to haunt me now!
She cut him off in mid-sentence. "Tim, please, I beg you, don't do this! Once, long ago, someone rejected me, and I tried to shut that person out of my life, and he wouldn't let me. I won't let you now. I won't let you throw away our friendship!" Kate's voice was on the verge of breaking from the emotional strain. She could hear the desperation in her own words.
Kate wondered, How did everything get so upside down! She rubbed her palm across her forehead as if to stem her mind from total overload and to ebb the dull pain that was beginning to throb in her temples. "Damn last night! Damn the liquor!" She made a sudden, impulsive declaration, "I'm never going to drink again!" Feeling her life spinning out of control, she surmised with a grimace, "This never would have happened!"
Tim corrected her, "Oh, yes, it would have. Sooner or later, one way or another, push always comes to shove, and we either grow and move on or we stagnant and wither away. I'm withering, Kate, so I want to move on." He paused, momentarily, and then added, "You were right when we met and you said you were a tough customer. Do you remember that?"
For a moment, he seemed to be remembering fondly. Kate vaguely wondered if he would ever recall again anything fondly about them after this. She was too overwrought to answer him. She merely moved her head in a half-nod. Her mind was too busy reeling from the finality of his words and tone of his voice to go on any nostalgia trips now.
He continued but without sentiment as he explained, "I knew you were set in your ways, as you yourself had admitted, but I waited in the wings hoping you'd change. I've tried to be patient, but even my patience only goes so far!" He chuckled, barely, before letting out a ragged breath. "I give up. Every man has his limit, his breaking point, and I've just reached mine. I've not an old man, yet, but I've not a young man any longer either, and I'm tired."
Tim sounded so dejected Kate thought her heart would break. She was right beside him now, holding his arm. "Please, Tim, please!" she heard herself pleading. He moved away from her to get something, his keys. When next he spoke, he was like a man at his wits' end. He did not look at Kate immediately as he spoke.
"Stay here the rest of the weekend. I'll go somewhere else." Then he glanced absently around the room, then briefly at Kate or past her, even more precisely, through her, or so she chillingly felt. "Goodbye, Kate. Lock the door behind you." With that he was out door and out of her life as suddenly as when he had first entered it three short years before.
Kate stood shattered and in a severe state of shock. At first she could not move, frozen as it were in her grief, but then she flew to the window. She could have run out the front door and after him, but she did not wish to make a fool of herself. On top of everything, she had hesitated just long enough to know she would never catch him in time for he was already in his car. Then he was gone.
42: Fallout~XLII~
AFTER Tim had left, Kate had sat for a while, waiting. For what, she was not sure, but after a time, she realized she had better get ready for church as the hour was fast approaching, and apparently, Tim was not coming back any time soon. So she made the bed, his, she had slept in, dressed, and called a cab to take her to church. The sunshine outside of earlier was now completely eclipsed by clouds.
As she was about to leave, the phone rang. The answering machine kicked in, and Tim's familiar voice could be heard on the greeting: "Hi, this is Tim. Leave me a message. Thanks." The beep sounded, and Kate held her breath hoping against hope that it would be Tim telling her he was sorry and would meet her at church or else that he was on his way back to the house to pick her up and take her or maybe to continue the discussion, which she was ready to miss Mass for. In the event, that it was his voice, Kate was poised to pounce on the phone. She listened intently.
However, she never had the chance to put her reflexes to the test as none of the imagined possibilities would come to fruition once the caller on the other end had hung up, and no message was left at all. Just then, the cab arrived, and she left herself.
Approaching the St. Mary's Lady of the Isle Church, Kate kept her eye out for Tim. She felt numb and cold. The gray day outdoors did not help her spirits. Inside the church, she looked around for him. Especially at the greeting at the start of Mass and then again at the Kiss of Peace as she shook the hands of those closest around her pew.
Tim was nowhere to be seen. He had not attended, as Kate suspected would be the case though her wish was otherwise. It was not, necessarily, unusual for him to skip services when Kate was away. He always joined her when she visited the island, but she knew that on his own, he missed at times.
Kate found it extremely difficult to focus on the service. Moreover, ever since their falling out, she also experienced a gnawing nervousness in her stomach that she tried hard to ignore. To no avail, despite her best efforts to take her mind off things, the sickening feeling continued unabated.
Following the conclusion of Mass, Kate walked over to his shop a few blocks away to see if he might be there, hiding out or trying to escape her. It was closed as it would normally be on a Sunday, and though there was no sign of him inside, she knocked, nonetheless, on the door, peering inside to see if a light might be on in the back. There was none, and her knock was met with utter and complete silence.
Kate went to all the usual spots that they would have hung out at. She traveled down all the wharves and along the side streets. She rested on a bench to figure what to do next. She didn't ask if anybody had seen him, because she was afraid to for starters, afraid of what they might tell her, primarily, that he didn't want to see her ever again as he had so much as said to her earlier.
So instead, she had one drink at the Rose & Crown, their favorite pub. Kate listened to the couple of patrons talking loudly at the bar. The usual, comfortable scene had no effect on her except to make her more dispirited. Consequently, she finished her drink and left.
She decided to head back to Madaket. Maybe he had returned by now, or at least, this was her wish. She asked the cab driver to stop by Tim's house. His car was still nowhere to be seen. She asked the driver to continue to Madaket Beach. She would spend some time there to try and think things through though she wasn't sure she wanted to think anymore as it was beginning to drive her crazy, as well as to make her feel sick. The grayness all around her fit her mood.
Kate instead walked along aimlessly and tried to let her mind go blank and drift in no direction in particular. She felt restless and anxious as she'd take breaks and pull herself up on a rock to ponder the expanse of ocean or approach the water's edge to throw some driftwood back into the sea. She had considered taking the cab out to the moors to see if Tim might be there, as it was always one of his favorite spots that he had shared with her, but she decided against it, judging in her fragile, feeble mind that it was best to let him stew for a while.
She didn't especially think at the time that Tim would stay away for good, though he had spoke very convincingly of it that morning when he had said he didn't want to see her again. Actually, she reflected, that his exact words were that "…it would be best if we didn't see each other again." Maybe after these many hours, he would realize that he didn't really mean it, and the whole thing would blow over. Then they could continue as they had been.
Kate tried hard to believe it. She wanted to believe it, but as she walked the beach and paused to stare out into the waves, a sinking feeling came over her that Tim had very well meant what he had said as she had never known him not to mean what he said once he put a thought or an idea out there, and that, perhaps, this was not the continuation but the end of what had been.
At the realization, she dropped down in the sand and did something she had rarely done in recent years; Kate lay down and wept.
43: Alone~XLIII~
LATER, in the evening, Kate returned to Tim's house, because she had nowhere else to stay. She had not bothered to check for another place as the inns all required sufficient, advance notice, and Tim had said she could stay despite their fallout. Moreover, Kate wanted to be around in the hope that he would return and in a better mood, with a more appreciative attitude of her point of view or, at least, a greater understanding or tolerant stance toward that view.
Outside, the grayness had begun to turn to rain before dark, adding to Kate's unhappy disposition. She had felt the first drops as she lay on the beach, and by the time she had reached his door, the drops had turned into a torrent. Kate thought, dismally, that it was metaphor of her life coming down all around her. It was hard not to miss the timing anyway. The weather had always seemed to follow her moods or her life's scenarios as the years had passed. Now was no different.
After taking a shower and changing into her pajamas and robe for the night, though it still was very early, Kate walked out onto the deck to watch the rain hitting the pond at the edge of Tim's property. It seemed to her the loneliest sight she had ever seen. Even the sound of it, struck her as profoundly sad, whereas the rain could be a comfort to her at other times, soothing and relaxing, even helping her sleep on occasion, presently, it only pounded in her ears with a terrible finality and melancholy that was nearly unbearable.
The time was passing excruciatingly slow, which Kate found very unusual, but she knew it was because she was waiting. So she fixed herself a little dinner as the hour approached eight o'clock. She had no real appetite, but she ate anyway, mechanically and automatically, and with no pleasure. Cleaning up the kitchen, she moved to the couch to try and read, but it was useless; she couldn't concentrate.
"Where could he be?" she asked of no one in particular, except maybe God.
Now Kate began to worry. It suddenly occurred to her that Tim might have left the island. By nature, he pretty much kept to himself, which was funny because he was so sociable with people. He had casual acquaintances and knew many people, but there were none really that he was extremely close to except Kate, as it had come to be. Still, any one of those friends, she knew, might have taken him in for the night. Kate realized that she might have tried to call some of them if she knew which ones to call, but she was lost.
She was, also, concerned about him, though not to the point that she feared he had done anything stupid or had hurt himself in any way. He had been upset, but Tim was an intelligent man and lived life to the fullest. Kate could not see him throwing it away for her sake or on account of her.
Thus, she waited and watched, checking the clock every fifteen minutes or so, checking the phone alternate fifteen minutes to make certain it was in the cradle and still working. When she did manage to take her mind off time watching for a short while, she read the book she had brought along, but it wasn't long before the ticking of the clock bore into Kate's thoughts again, nearly driving her mad.
At midnight, it became, painfully, obvious that Tim was not coming home. He had meant what he had said; he would not see her again. The realization was deafening in her mind. She gathered herself up to get ready for bed. Walking barefoot across the carpet, Kate tried to squelch the tremendous pain rising up inside her as she put out the lights in the living room one by one.
Washing up, Kate stared in the vanity mirror. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying, but just as earlier that day at the beach, when only the sandpipers and sea had been in attendance to hear her heart-wrenching sobs, she again, wept alone, and in silence, this time, her only witnesses being her own reflection staring back at her, and God.
Kate started for the room she always slept in, but she paused before Tim's, the room that only the night before at this very hour he had carried her to. Could that really have been just a previous night? She wondered. It seemed so far away now, almost like it had never happened, just a dream, nothing more.
She stood there in the doorway with her nightly glass of water in hand. Kate stared as if trying hard to envision Tim there but constantly coming back to emptiness, an emptiness in the space of that room, in the space of that bed, and most importantly and profoundly, an emptiness in the space of her heart and in her soul.
At last, Kate shuffled off to the guest room next door. As she lay in bed, she thought of Tim and all the times they had shared, good times, joyful times. She could not conceive of those occasions ending now. She could not fathom the truth of not seeing him again.
Kate pulled the covers up close to her, recalling that on the previous evening she had fallen asleep with him very close to her and that he had, finally, slept in the space she now occupied. She could still smell the lingering scent of him all around her, which she fought to hold onto as the only semblance of Tim that remained.
Still, she was utterly alone, and for the first time in years, Kate, also, was lonely. She laid awake for what seemed like hours, restlessly tossing and turning as the rain came down, relentlessly, outside, occasionally, hitting the window pane with its considerable force, when after a time, Kate, at last, thankfully, and mercifully, drifted off to sleep.
44: The Return Home~XLIV~
MONDAY rolled around, and a cab rolled along the hills of Madaket Road whisking Kate to the Steamship Authority Ferry Terminal. The rain had broke from the night before but not the storm clouds which weighed heavy on Kate's spirit as she left Madaket and Tim's house behind, though not before leaving him a note that said simply:
I'm sorry,
- Kate -
As fate would have it, the weather was a gray, bleak sky and a cold, bitter wind that bid her a dreary farewell on this morning as she departed the island. On the way, Kate reflected, So this is how it's going to be between us? Tim had wished it, and thus, it was.
The previous evening she had still held out the faintest hope that he would return during the night, and she would find him there when she arose. This was not to be, however. Kate didn't bother going to the shop this morning. If this is how he wants it between us, then to hell with him! Two can play this game, Kate, miserably, thought to herself.
Stepping from the cab, she glanced around quickly for one last chance to see if he might have changed his mind at last and come to see her off. How could he let things end this way? Once again, there was no sign of him. She boarded the ferry without ceremony or fanfare and with a dead weight inside her. As the boat pulled away from the dock, Kate realized that this was the first time in three years that Tim had not been there to see her off.
Generally, Kate always took the ferry once a year as a rule of thumb for she did enjoy the ride and looked forward to it. This time, however, it held none of the old charm for her. Nevertheless, she arrived at the conclusion that it was, probably, best that she had taken this mode this time as she would need the long journey home to pull herself together from the tumultuous and heartbreaking events that had just passed.
The familiar sights of the First Congressional Church and the Old South Church on the hill stood out; they were, after all, pivotal points that Kate looked for when approaching or departing Nantucket by ferry. This time, however, in Tim's absence, she could not appreciate these focal vistas and old landmarks, for the ache inside her was too great. They were hard to see, anyway, through tears.
In a short span, the island faded into the distance and with it, her heart sank deeper into a darkening abyss, which she knew no way out of. Kate did not take her usual stance at the bow as she so often did when they were out of distance of Nantucket. This time, she walked to the stern once underway and kept her eyes transfixed on what was behind her, of what she was leaving behind. Kate was tormented, and her eyes filled with water several times as she pondered her loss.
Why? She kept asking over and over in her fragile mind. Why could he not accept her terms? It had been so pleasant. Why ruin a good thing? The age old adage of If it's not broke, don't fix it, came to her mind, but, obviously, in Tim's mind, it had been broke – they had been broke as a relationship.
Over the years, Kate had wondered and asked herself if she would be happy married to a man such as Tim, but there was such an ease to their friendship as it was, with no pressure, no expectations, and she had enjoyed that freedom very much, dismissing any alternatives. Now she knew, too late, that it had not been the same for Tim though she had always presumed so, and she realized her grave mistake. She had never asked what he wanted of their relationship, just taking it for granted that his wishes and desires were the same as hers, and that he would just go along with whatever she wanted.
Kate tried to ascertain why she was so against marriage. What had driven her to this point? Certainly, past experience played a major part. The men in her life before had left her feeling unkindly disposed to that gender, in general, but Tim had helped turn her thinking around on that. Perhaps because he was like no other man she had ever known. In fact, he was more like a dream than a reality, she thought as she had often, too good to be true! Perhaps that is what scared her most. What secret side did he have that he had not revealed to her? What ugly head would rear as soon as her guard was down?
It seemed to her that three years was a long time to keep up a charade, so Kate had come to believe that what she had seen of Tim was the real thing, no surprises or terrible demons to come out and strike at her later. Still, she maintained a shed of doubt due to those prior, frightful relationships, the ones that had so soured her that she could not see past them now. Hence, she held onto that doubt, because it was her armor and defense from ever being hurt again.
Fear! Yes, it was powerful motivator. She recognized the dragon in herself judging by the things it had kept her from doing or having before, dreams she had never pursued, goals she had never attained. Thus, Tim had been right when he had said she was afraid. Kate was terrified! She knew it! She admitted it. She would rather have died than endure the suffering she had at the hands of her former lovers who had tried to change her, almost destroying her self-worth in the process though Tim had never tried to do anything of the sort. Still, Kate decided she would rather live a life of complacent safety than to risk the pain again and, consequently, forfeit any possible chance for greater happiness. Yes, even keel! That is what Kate wanted at this stage in her life.
She moved from the stern of the boat to the port side. During the long trip, she had plenty of time to contemplate the disastrous weekend and her own personal views on love and marriage. Kate reasoned that if people, like her family, friends, and co-workers had endured what she had in past relationships, then they would not opt for marriage either. Who in their right mind would?! She determined.
Then the realization came to Kate that Tim had been correct also in judging her faith weak. It was a paradox within her: She felt her faith so strong in other matters, but in the matter of love, her faith barely registered. A sad fact, yet a wound she had been trying to heal deep inside her psyche and soul all these years. Kate knew now that she still had a ways to go in accomplishing this feat, and that she couldn't do it alone, but other than her Creator, the only other person in the world who might have been able to help her was no longer available to her, tragically, and all at once, no longer a friend.
Kate returned home late that evening. Checking her own answering machine for any messages from him, she found none. She told no one of what had transpired, too embarrassed or ashamed to reveal such a thing. She went about her business like nothing had happened. Never one to hide her feelings well, however, people recognized the change in her, but Kate did the one thing she had never been able to do - she didn't talk about it. If the subject was broached, she dodged it. If a question was posed to her, she'd manage to escape without giving an answer. After a time, everyone would get tired of asking, she figured; they'd give up inquiring, and so they did.
In private, Kate wrote Tim several letters, hoping he would respond, telling him her apologies for how things had ended, appealing again to his good sense to see her side. She sat back and waited for his response. From the moment he had asked her to write him at the end of their first meeting, from the day he had received her first letter, he had been a prolific writer, responding to each piece of her correspondences with haste and unequaled fervor. She hoped for the same effect now.
Her fortieth birthday arrived with neither a card nor a gift from Tim, a shock since all of her other birthdays since he had known her he had remembered. Subsequently, all other demonstrations from friends and family were lacking or void of any real excitement and meaning or joy, for that matter. She was older, yet not necessarily wiser, but Kate had enough wits about her to deem that she had lost someone who meant a great deal to her, and so little else mattered from that time on.
The spring and summer came and went, and Kate waited and hoped for some sign from Tim, for a call or a letter, some form of communication between them, but none came. She had no choice but to go on with her life, as bleak as it seemed, as there was nothing else she could do. In this matter, at least, she was helpless (or so she thought), and the knowledge of it drove her to distraction.
45: Discovery~XLV~
EVERY single letter Kate wrote went unanswered, and she wrote many. They didn't come back stamped returned or refused; they just disappeared into the black chasm that was now the void between her and Tim. There had been no communication of any kind in the five months that had passed, and Kate went about her life and her job in mechanical ways and gestures like a robot, void of any feeling or response.
One night in October, Kate was having dinner with her parents as she did on many a Saturday night, with the exception of the times she spent on the island with Tim. She was not her usual, talkative self, and both Erin and Fred Linstrom noticed this marked change in their daughter's temperament and behavior. It was hard not to notice as, usually, they were unable to get a word in edgewise in the dinner conversation.
Erin had become cognizant of the difference months before, but this night seemed far worse. Finally, she broached the subject she had wanted to for a long time. She started, casually, enough.
"Is Tim coming down for Christmas?"
"No, he's not," was all Kate answered.
"Maybe for Thanksgiving, then?" her mother asked cheerily.
"No," Kate responded, without looking up. "He's not coming, period."
Erin was well aware that Kate had stopped mentioning Tim's name, and that she had not so much as uttered a word about him in months! Finally, pushing her luck further, mother inquired of daughter point blank, "What's wrong with you two? What's happened?"
Kate's father sat silent as he was likely to do when the subject of the night turned even remotely serious. On the lighter side, he was always one to jump in or even to instigate or initiate a jovial, joking discussion, but not now. There was nothing to joke about. Kate was keenly aware of his presence at the table even though he said not a word, and she would glance his way from time to time to gauge his reactions to what was said, but he only looked off somewhere else.
Kate drew in a deep breath and when she was ready, she began to elaborate for her parents. "Tim and I had a fight last time I was on Nantucket. He's not speaking to me or writing me. He said he never wanted to see me again."
Once more, her mother pushed further. "Why?" Before Kate could answer, Erin continued in an accusatory but regrettable voice, "What did you do?"
Kate looked up annoyed and on the defensive. "Who said I did anything? Why would it, automatically, be my fault?" she demanded, oblivious to herself.
"Because, Tim is a nice guy, the type you have not had much experience with in the past, and it seems unlikely that he would have done anything," Mrs. Lindstrom gently reminded Kate.
It was easy for Erin to come to his defense as she had to admit that she did like Tim very much. He had done so much for them, not just for Kate but for the whole family, as well, and that impressed Erin Lindstrom tremendously! It was hard not to like Tim as he was such a good-natured person, she recognized well. Because of that aspect of his nature, it was also equally difficult to imagine that he had precipitated an argument or quarrel without serious reason. Therefore, naturally, Kate's mother looked to her for the cause.
Realizing her mom was not going to let her off the hook, Kate poured forth her version of the story. "Everything was fine until he had to go and propose marriage!"
Fred Lindstrom immediately shook his head but still looked off into space though it was apparent that he heard every word.
Mrs. Lindstrom, with a sharp, in drawn breath, prompted, "And you said…"
Kate glared at her mother. "I said no, of course!" Bewildered and flabbergasted that her parents did not understand, Kate repeated herself, raising her voice, "I said NO!"
Her father just sat motionless, no expression, though Kate thought she detected a slight level of disgust in his demeanor. Erin Linstrom, on the other hand, was very readable, and Kate could not mistake the look her mother gave her, a look she knew well from past experience which said that Mom was agitated and vexed with her daughter's actions.
Angrily, Kate railed, "What did you expect me to say? 'Yes, of course, darling, let's begin our happy life together!' I don't think so!"
Noticing that her mother was now shaking her head in disgust, as well, Kate continued the tirade. "And I'm surprised at you, Ma, supporting the idea when you've put down the institution of marriage as much as I have! Why change now?" she implored her mother.
Without hesitation, Erin replied, "Because Tim is a great guy – one in a million! You'll never find another like him, one that you love and admire, one that we love, too, because we do love him," she made sure to add, "the whole family."
"He's a good Joe!" interjected Mr. Lindstrom firmly, which was saying a great deal, Kate realized, by his own standards as her father seldom broke his self-imposed silence for any topic.
Erin continued, not breaking her stride for a second, "He's been good to you, and to us, and we'd be very happy to have him as a son-in-law!"
She then appealed to Kate's sense of reason in reference to her often repeated criteria in the past regarding men. "He's everything you always said you wanted, tailor made for you!"
Kate had been listening patiently to her mother's passionate entreaties. Now, it was her turn to speak her mind again and to give her true purpose for refusing Tim's proposal.
"That's why I didn't want to lose him in a lousy marriage, to have him grow tired of me or fed up, to have him only end up hating me! I didn't want to lose him that way!" Kate uttered as she stared at Erin with a pained expression.
Mrs. Lindstrom spoke plainly and matter-of-factly, though not without feeling, "But, Kate, you've lost him anyway."
Well aware of this fact, Kate, nevertheless, felt compelled to still make her case, to bring her parents to an understanding once and for all of her reasons for not wanting to marry Tim O'Malley.
"If we married, and it ended in disaster, I wouldn't have been able to tolerate the pain of losing him that way!" implored Kate. "Understand?"
Erin Lindstrom gently and quietly pointed out to her daughter the not so hidden truth that Kate had overlooked or failed to consider: "Is this pain that you're feeling now any more tolerable? Is it really any better this way?"
Her mother's words hit Kate with all the force of a gale wind, and she was nearly knocked over with the shock of it, that her mother had verbalized such a thought, not because Kate believed her incapable of making such an astute observation, but because she, herself, had not considered it, beforehand, when it was right before her eyes. So wrapped up in her mind with presupposed, potential, future disasters, Kate had completely missed the definitive, certain anguish of the present cataclysm of being without Tim, and no, she could not imagine anything worse!
She had overlooked the obvious before in her life, too blinded by her own pain to see the truth staring her in the face. Now it was laid wide open before her. The tears began to well up in Kate's eyes at the discovery and, as well, at the ramifications of her mother's question to her.
Erin reached out with a comforting hand to console her daughter who was finally realizing after all these months that, indeed, nothing could be worse than the pain she was experiencing at this moment, and the thought left Kate devastated in its wake.
46: Resolution And The Trip Back~XLVI~
KATE took what her mother had stated so straightforwardly, and she went off and prayed about it, in her church, in her room, but most importantly, in her heart, and from that prayer came forth resolution.
As she burned a candle before the tabernacle in an empty church one Saturday morning, Kate finally realized and accepted that in order to move forward and live her life as she was meant to, she must let go of all the hurts of her past that had held her a prisoner for so very long, to put behind her all the pain that had hindered her. She would have to lay it to waste, to set it ablaze, as it were, especially all those fears that had immobilized her life and prevented her from growing. She would let the fire of her heart devour those demons forever, so that she might emerge from the ashes a new person, a person ready to take chances, a person ready to have faith, at long last, and before, hopefully, it was too late!
Kate now knew this: Life with Tim might end in failure and tears if they should marry, but that was merely a possible conclusion, not a given; whereas, her current state without him was certain and the pain immediate and lasting. This, ultimately, would be her life unless she radically changed the course of things, and soon.
Therefore, as the autumn approached, Kate began a campaign to win Tim back. With new resolve, she wrote him, first off, that she needed to see him, that it was extremely important. She would not state the reasons in a letter, but she hoped he'd know and understand that she was looking for reconciliation, as well as, the chance to show him that she now wanted more, if he still wanted her. All of the burden and blame for their fallout, she would assume upon her shoulders, as she already determined to be the contrite one. Kate also resolved to accept whatever terms or conditions he would ask or demand of her to make retribution for all the damage she had caused to their relationship.
In her letter, which she mailed without delay, Kate informed Tim that she would be visiting the island in November. The first step initiated, she made the arrangements with Cape Air to fly. Her reasoning for choosing this mode this time was that if she was going to make the trip, perhaps one last time, then she determined that it should be worthwhile, at least in this regard. For Kate already had decided that were Tim to reject her once and for all, she would most likely never return to Nantucket again being that it would forever be tied to him and their time together. Thus, she was all too aware that this might possibly be her final trip ever!
Having received no return word or call from Tim, Kate proceeded with her plans just the same, arriving on Nantucket on a Friday evening by nine o'clock. There was no sign of Tim at the gate, no such luck, which did not surprise her for she had expected this much. Kate knew it would be far too easy for him to just show up after all these months of silence between them. So she gathered up her things and proceeded to the inn where she would be staying for the weekend, the old Perwinkle Inn where she had stayed the first time she had visited the island and each time thereafter, before Tim had invited Kate and her parents to the island that autumn two years before. The inn was always a charming place, and she enjoyed returning to it now. Though she would rather have preferred staying at her usual accommodations, which were Tim's place; nonetheless, the Perwinkle would do for now, especially, since she had little choice.
As Kate walked the distance from the gate to the curb at the front of the airport to catch a cab, she recalled all of the many occasions that Tim had met her there and at the Steamship Authority, every time, in fact, with the exception of her first visit. She counted those times in her head now. They were fewer than she had believed, only four, in fact, but they did not include all the numerous trips to Connecticut he had made to visit or bring her back to the island with him through the past three and a half years. Regardless of the number of times he had been there, it still struck Kate as very, wrong that she should be on the island again with Tim no where in sight, but she contended, this was just another price she had to pay for her mistake of misjudging him, as well as herself and their relationship.
Once Kate had arrived the short distance from the airport to the Perwinkle Inn, she walked up the front steps slowly, pausing to glance about the street and the surrounding area, trying to see if Tim might be around somewhere, standing nearby or even lurking in the shadows, but there was nothing except shadows. If he was around, he wasn't making his presence readily known.
As she stepped into the inn, she called from the phone the number that brought the innkeeper over from another bed and breakfast nearby, as the proprietor owned several. The lady greeted Kate with the sincerest cordiality and familiarity as if she had known her forever, and as though she had just seen her, recently, though it had been two years since Kate had last stayed at the inn. They shared a few moments of small talk, which Kate was not in the mood for. She endeavored, nevertheless, to be pleasant though her mind was elsewhere.
At last, following the formalities of registering, the innkeeper pronounced Kate's room ready and handed her the key, as she said with a smile, "Enjoy your stay."
Kate nodded, saying, "Thank you," as she picked up her bag and following directions, ascended the short flight of stairs to her room on the second floor, the same room Kate and her mother had shared that first trip to the island three years ago, that first trip that had brought Tim into my life, thought Kate.
The room was every bit as immaculate as it had been the first time, and so charming that it was salve for her soul. She, normally, would have stayed in one of the smaller rooms when she traveled alone, but in keeping with her plan to make the most of the trip no matter what may happen between her and Tim, Kate opted for the better room, especially that she might not ever return to this place again.
Putting down her suitcase, Kate walked over to the window at the back of the room. There was that view of the harbor and beyond. Though it was dark now, Kate knew the sky was cloudy as it had been all day. She could just sense that it would continue as it was a reflection of her own disposition. She tried to have hope but so much was uncertain about this weekend that it was difficult to maintain any kind of optimism. Moreover, she was tired. Deciding on a quick, light dinner, she would start out in the morning to make amends. Kate, therefore, retired to bed early, in hopes of awaking refreshed and ready to begin the daunting task ahead of her, namely, winning back the affections of the man who had stated with great certainty that he never wanted to see her again!
Kate was up early the next morning, but not because she was refreshed. In truth, she was unable to sleep most of the night, tossing and turning, in anticipation of what was yet to come. She was dressed and out the door before eight, heading to the Fog Island Café for a quick breakfast before making her way to his shop. She might have tried to phone him before leaving the inn but feeling it too early, or else looking for an excuse not to, putting off the inevitable moment as long as possible, Kate opted for just dropping by. Her hope was to find him there in the familiar, comfortable place that could, perhaps, be mutual ground for them both. Her wish was not to be, however, as she found the shop locked and empty; though again, she was little surprised. For all Kate knew, Tim might have left the island for the weekend, knowing she was coming, to avoid her entirely.
She headed back to the inn to try calling Tim before taking a cab all the way out to his house. Opening the door to her room, Kate stepped inside and on something as she threw her purse on the bed. That's when she spotted it, the item beneath her feet. The writing on the front caught her eye and gave her pause. She hesitantly picked up the envelope, staring at it for a moment. It might be bad news, and she dreaded that! Kate, at first, feared opening it, but then her curiosity got the better of her, and she quickly tore it open like an excited child opening a brightly, decorated package on Christmas morn.
Just as Kate had breathlessly expected, it was from him, unmistakable, though it was not signed. She knew it was Tim's handwriting and her heart began to beat fiercely. The words were written in that undeniable hand of his – large, slanted, and elegant, and for the first time in six months, Kate truly regained what she had lost – her hope!
His written words, as she read them and stared at them now, left no doubt in Kate's mind that he wanted to see her. They were succinct, but they were powerful, for all they said were this:
I've missed you!
47: The Search~XLVII~
IN one swift instant, Kate was out the door! She had grabbed her purse, and with the note in hand, she was gone, flying down the stairs and out onto the street, in seconds flat, looking in either direction for Tim. If he had left the note while she was at the Fog Island Café, then he might still be around, she surmised. There was no sign of the Explorer around, unless he had walked over from the shop.
Spotting one of the island's many cab vans as it started to drive down an intersecting street, Kate called out frantically, "Taxi! Taxi!"
Even though she had just returned from the exact location minutes before, Kate, having hailed the cab successfully, exclaimed as she got in, "Please take me to the Straight Wharf!"
The cab driver informed her that she was close enough to walk, but Kate insisted he drive her, knowing full well that if she were to catch Tim she would have to hurry. He could not have gotten far. She must have just missed him, she guessed, though there was no indication of what time he may have left her the note. It could have been any time in the forty-five minutes that she was out.
Perhaps he had waited for me to leave to drop it off, thought Kate. She also further ascertained that though he did not wait for her to return, it didn't necessarily mean that he didn't want to see her. In Kate's mind, the note had been an invitation. He just wasn't going to make it too easy for her. She deserved that or so Kate figured.
On the short ride to the shop, Kate relived in her mind all the things that were firsts on that trip three years ago that had brought Tim into her life, her first meeting with him, seeing his store, having that first drink, and then, walking these streets over the years with him came to her also, so many things, so many memories.
Kate also thought back over all the mistakes in her life. Some were stupid ones and some more serious, but none were more devastating than her outright rejection of Tim and his love for her. Now she hoped, once and for all, to rectify that one monumental mistake and to set things right as they always should have been. Kate prayed in her heart that Tim was willing to give her that second chance, and that he had forgiven her, at last.
Once at the Straight Wharf and Tim's shop, Kate found it as empty as she had a short while before. If he had been here, it had not been for long, and so, Kate, having held the cab, asked to be driven around all the side streets that she and Tim had walked on their many evenings together, hoping to spot him somewhere along the path they would usually follow.
The driver reminded Kate of the fare rates, and she informed him without hesitation, "That's okay, I'll pay whatever. Just keep a running total."
Agreeing to do so, the man, who became her chauffeur at that point, followed Kate's directions until all possibilities within the town were exhausted. Realizing that Tim was no longer around the immediate area, she asked the cab driver, "Please take me to Madaket."
The man merely nodded, realizing that she was determined no matter what he might say to dissuade her. He radioed his dispatcher that he would be off limits for the next hour or so, detecting this fare to be extensive. He didn't know what this crazy woman in his back seat was up to, but he could guess just by looking at her anxious expression that whatever it was that had set her on this trek must be important. He wanted to explain to her that cabs on Nantucket didn't work this way. After all, this wasn't New York City, but she had already stated she would pay anything, so there was no need to say another word. He just followed her directions, which now headed them to an entirely different location.
From her seat in the back of the van, Kate could tell that the cab driver eyeing her in the mirror thought her insane, but she didn't care. She needed him to drive her to all the places that Tim might be, as next the cab sped on its way to the house in Madaket. This would cost her another twelve dollars, Kate calculated in her head, but it would be a small price to pay if she found Tim at home.
As Kate directed the driver down the dirt road to the little Cape house that was Tim's, she could already see that he was not there as the Explorer was nowhere around. Still, just to be absolutely certain, Kate got out of the van. Asking the driver to again wait for her, she walked all around the house, peering in windows and trying doors. Only then was Kate satisfied that there was no one inside.
Getting back in the cab, Kate instructed firmly, "Drive to Madaket Beach, please."
Once again, the chauffeur nodded and, following orders, headed in that direction. He didn't even attempt to make small talk as his passenger seemed too preoccupied to even notice if he tried. He just decided to let her be. It was more than obvious that her thoughts were somewhere else; trying to find the elusive person she diligently was tracking. The driver quietly sympathized, hoping for her sake, that she would find that someone she was so desperately searching for to go to such lengths in the process.
Kate noted that out the window it was another dismal day just as the day before, and just as it had been the day she had departed the island in April on the last weekend she had seen Tim. Kate didn't mind the grayness this time, however, because in her heart was one bright spot, which was that glimmer of hope that Tim's note had brought her, and she held onto it with all her might, literally, as well, for she clutched the envelope in her hand. Kate had no doubt she would find him. It was just a matter of time. She didn't even mind the hoops she was jumping through now in her effort to locate him. If this is what it took, to comb the entire island, she would gladly do it if the final outcome would result in bringing Tim back into her life.
To renew her hope, Kate took the note out of the envelope to read it again. Just then, something fell out, something she had missed before in her haste. A small piece of dried heather lay on her lap. Kate picked it up and inspected it, puzzled, wondering, at first, as to its meaning, but then she lit up, recognizing it to be a clue; Tim had given her a clueto find him, and now Kate knew exactly where to look!
Ordering to the driver to turn around, Kate instructed, "Forget Madaket Beach! Take me to Altar Rock!"
The cabbie could stand it no longer. He protested vehemently, "Lady, that's in the opposite direction, back in the direction we just came!"
Kate sighed and said quietly, "I'm well aware. Just please do it."
Seeing from the rearview mirror her strained expression, which held hope, anxiety, and resolve all in one, the driver agreed. "All right, Miss, whatever you say." He would do whatever he could to help her at this point, secretly rooting for this woman who seemed so determined. Turning around in the middle of Madaket Road, the cab driver headed back to Nantucket Town, straight through it, and out the opposite direction to Altar Rock, which was not far from the town at that juncture.
Kate breathed easier now, certain she would find Tim there. She couldn't believe she hadn't realized it before or thought of it first. Of course, their place of meeting after so many months would be of his choosing and that choice, naturally, would be Altar Rock, which was close enough to town for Tim to have dropped off his note and disappeared to in record time; Altar Rock, his favorite place on the entire island, the spot that he had shared with Kate on her third visit two and a half years earlier.
Her reasoning was right on target for as the driver headed down the dirt road leading to the Rock, Kate could already see Tim's red Explorer parked off to the side, right in the exact same spot as the first time they had come here together.
Having reached the end of the actual road, the cabbie stopped the van besides Tim's car and announced, "We're here, Miss, but this is as far as I can take you. I'm sorry, but you'll have to walk the rest of the way from this point to wherever or whoever you need to get to."
"It's okay," assured Kate, "I know. I'll take it from here." For it was truly up to her now to complete this journey herself, just one more on the road of many journeys over the past three and half years leading her to this moment and to Tim.
Nodding one last time, the driver, who had become her sympathizer and companion on the final leg of her journey, wished her well as Kate paid him her fare. He also added as she began to depart, "You want me to stick around, just in case…" The man stopped himself.
Kate smiled and responded as she got out of the cab, "No, that's okay. If all goes well for me here, I'll have a ride."
Understanding, the cab driver smiled back and offered, "Good luck, Miss. I hope everything works out for you."
"Thank you," Kate said, thanking him not just for his words but for everything as she slammed the door and waved him on. She did not move until she watched him back up and drive off. Suddenly and abruptly, Kate was all alone, and she felt the isolation most keenly, but no one could go this final step with her, she realized. Truly, it was entirely up to her now.
Realizing the weight of the situation, Kate was all at once overwhelmed and nervous, but she set off, in spite of her apprehensions, to find Tim and to make things right!
48: On The Moors~XLVIII~
EXPECTING to find Tim at the top of Altar Rock, Kate began to climb. She moved faster than she had the first time she had ascended it with Tim. She did not have him to help her up it now, but she was propelled by sheer will alone. Once at the top, she was stunned to discover that he was not there, only the wind howling at her as if to further announce his absence. She was crestfallen and a little bewildered. Where could he be? Kate struggled to determine.
As if in answer, the wind screeched even louder like a locomotive racing towards a tunnel. Because it was coming from a southerly direction, Kate turned away towards the north in effort to block with her back the element's ferocity. It was then that she caught sight of something in the distance. Her attention was drawn to a lone figure silhouetted against the grayish backdrop of the morning sky.
Kate's breath caught as she inhaled sharply, and her heart, which leapt a beat, felt as though it had stopped for just a moment. Recognizing the solitary stranger on the moors to be Tim, Kate raced down the hill, frantically, to the point of sliding on the gravel once and falling briefly. Nonetheless, she picked herself up and descended with great urgency, keeping her eye on Tim the whole time.
Once at the bottom of the mount, Kate paused only long enough to catch her breath before starting down the path, which led out into the vast flora where Tim appeared. At first, she just walked down the path briskly, but out of fear, she'd lose him if she dallied, Kate began to trot steadily, keeping him in her sights the entire time. There was, of course, the chance that it wasn't Tim, but something in her heart told her it was, and in her urgency to see him, Kate broke into an all out run.
She began to feel her heart pounding in her chest and the blood rushing in her head. Every part of her was starting to ache and throb. Kate knew that she was vastly out of shape, not having pushed her body like this in ages since her San Francisco days of fourteen years earlier, of running to catch buses everyday throughout the city. She wondered if her body, presently, would hold out or if it would just die on her. Don't let me down now, she pleaded silently.
Kate pressed on out of sheer will if nothing else, begging God to give her the strength to continue. She could only recall one other time in her life running as she did now with such purpose and force.
Once on a memorable summer day long ago, she had run as free and easy as the wind, and that time it had not hurt nearly half as much, but Kate had never been able to duplicate the magic of that day, the wonder of that feat. She had never accomplished it before nor since for she was not a runner, never having been athletic in school. In fact, she had, generally, avoided all sports as a rule and had often had nightmares of attempting to run for her life as if someone were chasing her but to no avail. Always, it was a futile struggle that she miserably failed.
Currently, Kate felt that way as well, but she persevered, pushing on. It was too important to give up, and she had come too far! After all, her very future was at stake. She believed that if she stopped to rest for even a moment, then poof, Tim would be gone in an instant, forever, and with him all her chances for a happy life. Hence, Kate made the dash, and although, at first, she seemingly made no headway towards him, finally, his figure appeared nearer and nearer. Subsequently, she could see that she was making progress, which helped her to increase her efforts.
Kate picked up the pace only to stumble slightly. She regained her footing and forced herself onward, praying all the while that her legs would not give out. In a matter of moments, she would be to where he stood on a little plateau, and seconds after that, Kate would be face to face with him again, after all these many months.
Kate suddenly realized that she had been so caught up in her race to find Tim that she had not gone over in her mind what she would say to him again once she had his attention. Then again, she had been going over it, continuously, every day and every night for the past month, as well as, on the plane ride over. She trusted that the words she would need to say to him would be there when the time came, that God would not let her down in this.
Just as she was completing this thought, Kate, all at once, found herself just feet from Tim. He turned towards her direction and stood there as she ran up to him and then came to an abrupt halt. Paces from him, she was suddenly and inconveniently out of breath. She paused only seconds to regain her composure as her insides were shaking violently, and she was not sure if it was from the physical exertion she had just undergone or from her excitement and nervousness at seeing Tim again. Either way, the effect was wreaking havoc on her system. She stood silent for a moment, breathing heavily.
Tim stood resolutely and silently staring at her, no expression evident on his face, which made Kate all more inclined to believe that this was going to be far more difficult that she had ever imagined, but she was so grateful for the sight of him! So much so, that she thought she could endure almost any hardship this day. She took a few hesitant, timid steps towards him as she held up his message to her that she still clutched tightly in her hand.
"I got the note…and don't try to deny it. I know it's from you though you didn't sign it," began Kate. Then as an afterthought, she added, "I'd recognize your handwriting anywhere…"
Tim said nothing, neither agreeing nor denying. He just continued to stare. The only sound between them in that moment was the howling of the wind.
Kate then said what she had really wanted to say right at the start, "…And … I've missed you, too."
Tim did not respond. It was abundantly clear that he wasn't going to make this easy for her. Well, who could blame him? thought Kate to herself. She tried to continue but faltered under his scrutinizing stare.
To buy herself a few precious moments to pull herself together, Kate implored, "Please let me catch my breath. I ran all the way from the road." She gestured behind her.
He seemed unmoved. Kate took his brutal silence as an opportunity to go over in her head again all she had previously rehearsed saying to him. Somehow though, face to face, the words did not flow quite so gently nor as eloquently as they had in her mind. Instead, despite the attempt to regain her composure, her impassioned speech poured forth in a jumbled, somewhat incoherent mess.
"Okay, look, I know I was stupid! I blew it, screwed up in every way possible! I know it's my fault. I know I hurt you and our relationship." Kate paused before continuing. "But I've had a lot of time to think these past few months, and I'm here to say that…" Kate felt her nerve slipping away in the presence of Tim's unrelenting calm and apparent indifference. Nevertheless, she kept blundering on, stumbling forward to whatever conclusion fate held in store for her.
"…I'm sorry! And that I need your forgiveness, but most importantly, I need… I need another chance though I know my past behavior doesn't warrant it!" She began pacing back and forth, valiantly continuing her monologue, just as nervous as ever but still as determined.
"Look, I still don't think I'd make a good wife, but I know this…" Kate stopped pacing as she turned to face Tim, stepping closer so that she was now very near to him. "…I'm no longer afraid to try," she stated with absolute clarity and certainty as she then added the clincher. "I'm only afraid of living the rest of my life without you."
It seemed like an eternity to Kate as Tim stood there studying her from his stance a few feet away. His posture was still turned slightly away from her, his face still hard-shelled mask. For a few very long moments between them, Tim did or said nothing. Then he took a couple of steps towards Kate. He stared her hard in the face. Kate looked back into his eyes still unable to read his expression and still much afraid of what his answer to her would be once he spoke, but at that moment, the miraculous happened. Tim leaned into Kate and nodding his head, his response to her plea was simply this:
"Well, that's all I've ever wanted to hear."
The expressionless face of seconds before suddenly cracked and the old Tim came shining through as he at once flashed his familiar, quirky, and lovable smile.
Kate felt her heart dancing as if everything that had happened in her life up to this time had occurred to prepare her for this moment of supreme joy. Thus, without any hesitation in her, and in all her gratitude and happiness, she immediately threw her arms around his neck, almost knocking him over in the process, and cried, "Oh, Tim!"
As the jubilant recipient of Kate's uninhibited and spontaneous move, Tim began to laugh with unbridled glee, all the while, wrapping welcoming arms around her. He knew what was in her heart for it was what he was feeling in abundant measure as well, except Kate was experiencing something more, a lightness, as the weight she had carried for all these months was lifted, a burden she had bore, suddenly gone! Tim had forgiven her and knowing this brought uncontrollable tears to her eyes, and she began to release them in the wave of relief that washed over her.
Sensing her emotional turmoil, Tim merely held Kate closer as he contemplated aloud, "Oh, what a difficult road you've traveled, Kate; what a hard lesson you had to learn! But learn it you did – you broke through that fear as I knew you would, because, see, I knew you loved me, and I had hoped that love would be strong enough to conquer all those fears that you've always had. I knew it was just a matter of time, a matter of waiting it out, though it was hard ignoring all those letters!"
Kate listened between blinding teardrops as Tim explained how it had been for him during the time of their absence from each other. She had slipped down into the comfort and warmth of his coat, laying her head upon his chest as the harsh, fierce winter wind of the island's moors raged all around them. Yet, nature's force was completely blocked out by Tim's words and the pounding of his heartbeats in Kate's ear, as she stayed cradled in his arms and against his chest listening.
Tim went on in his soothing, reassuring rich voice that Kate had missed so much. "Then I received your news out of the clear blue that you were coming, and I prayed and hoped that your reason for returning back to the island was to tell me, at long last, that you had reached your important decision, that you were ready for a real future between us."
Reflecting with wonderment, Tim concluded, "Sometimes, it's only when we think we've lost everything that we finally realize what we had all along. I'm sorry you had to go through this, that I had put you through this, but there was no other way I could see to help you overcome that fear, and so to really win ya." He ended on a light note.
Kate blinked water from her eyes. Tim was apologizing to her! She couldn't believe it, and so she looked up to see him grinning again, as she began to protest vehemently, "No, I'm sorry! I'm sorry for all this, for all this stupid time I've wasted!"
She stepped back from Tim, looking him straight in the eye, and taking both his hands firmly in her own, as she then stated in her strongest, most confident voice, "And I do love you, with all my heart, and I've never been able to say that to any man in my entire life!"
Now it was Tim's turn to let his emotions run wild as his own eyes began to tear slightly, but with that ever present, cocky grin, he stated, "Well, then it was well worth the wait, Kate!"
They again fell into each other's arms, this time ending it with a passionate kiss, their first since their first ever on that fateful Saturday night in April when everything had changed between them for good. How grateful now Kate was for that night that had propelled them forward, that had catapulted them right out of their complacent modes and towards the future they presently gazed upon.
Suddenly, Tim broke their embrace, momentarily, as he pulled from his pocket a small object he had held in his possession for nearly twenty years, but that he had brought out of safe keeping from the time that he had first had the nerve to bring up the subject of marriage. He held before Kate in his open palm a Claddagh ring, much like the one he had given her on Christmas day two years before. This one, however, was more elaborately adorned and it contained a stone, delicately cut. Kate had seen this kind before advertised in Irish gift catalogs and such. She recognized it immediately to be an Irish engagement ring. This one, however, appeared to be an antique. She was speechless as she watched Tim move to take her hand.
"I finally get to do this, which I've wanted to do for almost a year now."
As Tim spoke, he reached for Kate's hand, which was shaking considerably. He guessed correctly that it was from her excitement as much as from the wind pummeling them still. "A year ago, before your visit to the island, I went back to Boston and took from my parents' house, this ring that was my mother's. When she was dying, she gave it to me, as the first born son, for when I wed one day; after her death, I decided to leave it with Tom and Marie until I met the right woman and was sure that I wanted to marry her. I've held onto it nearly a year now waiting and hoping for this moment to give to you."
Tears began to fall again as through bleary eyes, Kate looked up at Tim to see the gladness evident in his expression that he was finally getting his wish and, in turn, fulfilling all her wishes. Once again, she blinked back the tears as she glanced down to see him slip the old friendship ring off her finger, which Kate had never realized until this second, she had always worn on her left ring finger. She wondered, briefly, if she had somehow subconsciously worn it like a wedding ring after all.
"So let me replace this, finally, with this," proclaimed Tim as he slid the lesser Claddagh ring from Kate's finger and slid on his mother's. Now the Claddagh took on the purpose it was always intended, or, in the tradition of the Irish, had become: A ring of ultimate friendship between a man and a woman in the promise of marriage. He let go of her hand just then as she clasped it herself.
Kate stared at the beautiful symbol of his love for her, a treasure of his heritage and a part of his mother that she was to always carry with her from this day forth. She remarked with awe, "I must be blessed. God's angels must be looking down on me and watching over me this day though I don't deserve it!"
Tim brushed away a lock of hair that had swept over her brow as he stated with uncompromising sincerity, "You are my angel. Do you know that?"
She looked up at him to see he was not grinning or even smiling but gazing upon her with wondrous love. Kate almost disbelieved that any one could love her so much. She responded with a memory evoked by Tim's statement and latter question to her. "A long time ago, my pastor in California glancing through a book about angels asked in all seriousness if I was in it."
"And how did you answer him? Did you believe him?" Tim asked intently.
"I couldn't answer. I was too stunned to even believe he had said it!"
In earnestness, Tim resounded, "Well, believe me, Kate, when I say you are my angel and I love you, and I will always love you!"
He had spoken from his heart, emphatically and truthfully, and looking up into his serious expression, Kate nodded, as she did believe him, she realized, and knew, just as well, that she would go on believing him all her days.
Tim's tone suddenly became lighthearted as he added with a twinkle in his eye, "So I'm only gonna ask this one more time, the last time! Are you ready?"
Kate replied forthrightly and determinedly, taking a deep breath as she answered, "As ready as I'll ever be!" She still clutched her newly ringed hand.
"All right then," began Tim in his best imitation Irish brogue, and raising her chin with his forefinger, he looked Kate straight in the eye and asked, "Will you marry me, Katherine Ann Lindstrom?"
Without an ounce of hesitation, doubt or fear, Kate looked Tim straight back in the eye and responded wholeheartedly, "I will marry you, Timothy Padriac O'Malley! I will!" Kate beamed as she reached for Tim's hand, grasping it with both of hers as she finally gave him the answer he had prayed for in all those months since his first proposal.
A huge smile broke across Tim's face, followed by Kate's own, as he picked her up, suddenly, in a great, bear hug embrace. Letting her down, they kissed again, and it was the sweetest kiss Kate had ever experienced up to that moment of her life though it still contained all the passion of their first kiss. Just as with that original kiss, Kate felt this one right down to her core, as every nerve of her body came alive with an electrifying jolt, sending a shiver through her, and it was not to be blamed at all on the wind this time as her face was warm and flushed from the buss.
Soon afterward, Tim enveloped Kate in his arms and spoke gently as the wind screeched fiercely all around them, "It's all been written for you, Kate, this life you dreamt of and wrote about. I was the one you were waiting for all those many years. It was the same for me."
Automatically laying her head upon his chest again, Kate listened with rapt interest as Tim further theorized or prophesied of their future together. "I knew the first moment I saw you standing there in front of my shop those four years ago when you drifted into my life so suddenly and accidentally, except I don't believe it was sudden nor an accident. It was preordained, I think, that you had been chosen for me long before we ever met, in fact, maybe even since the beginning of all time and eternity."
Pulling away from Kate for a moment, he held her at arm's length and giving her that Irish twinkle in his eye she had come to love, he announced in the brogue, lilting voice again, "I'm the love of your life, don't you know?"
Kate couldn't help grinning now, and still smiling through her watery eyes, she remarked, "You cocky son of gun! Yes, I know! Somewhere, deep down, I've always known!" She ended serenely and sincerely.
Between smiles and tears, Tim asked in a jovial, teasing tone, "Tell me, what finally brought it to light? Was it my boyish good looks or my brilliant mind and sparkling wit?" He held her all the while he awaited her response.
Laughing aloud, Kate exclaimed, "You are incorrigible!" But she loved him for it, though on a serious note, still with a smile, she admitted a profound truth to the man before her who had never doubted, "No, it was your very, great faith!"
Understanding her perfectly, Tim felt gladness and relief that what he once had accused her of lacking, he now knew she held in spades, also, and that their combined faith would be their greatest asset for their future life together.
Therefore, in jubilation, and with sheer, boundless joy, Tim lifted Kate up and spinning around in a circle with her clasped firmly in his arms, he held her as if he would never let her go! They both laughed together and reveled in their happiness.
Bringing her gently back to the ground, Tim kissed Kate once more, and she knew, instantly, that everything he had said to her this day was true from his declaration of love to God's will in their lives.
Thinking of her Creator, Kate also acknowledged in her heart that her prayers of long ago had been answered; that God had seen fit to fulfill her deepest wish even when she had given up on wanting it!
Giving silent thanks, Kate marveled at how a day could make such a difference in a life, or even a few hours, really, as she realized, gratefully, how different she felt, presently, from when she had awoke that morning, sullen and so unhappy. Here and now, and from this moment forth, it was a new day, and Kate would end it a changed, new woman, happy and content, at long last!
49: The Dance~XLIX~
TIM and KATE were married in the month of May, four years, one month, and one day from when they first met, and one day before her forty-first birthday.
They began to prepare for a wedding from the first moment when they had come together again out on the moors that fateful day in November six months earlier when the whole world had changed for Kate in a matter of seconds. Once it was clear what her future would be, she immediately set about making it happen. It took no time to get things in order, and the months preceding their wedding day passed quickly.
First item of business was to give her notice at work, which Kate was very happy to do, not necessarily because her employers had not been good to her, but, by reason that she was glad to be free, as well as excited, to begin a new life.
The next big item on the agenda was leaving her apartment and packing everything up. She just had to rid herself of a few things. All the same, she still had some thirty boxes loaded onto a truck by the time she was due to depart!
The most difficult part of leaving Connecticut, however, was saying goodbye to family and friends, just as it had been when she had left for California eighteen years earlier at a mere twenty-three years old when she had cried like a baby! Being older and wiser did not lessen her emotion or her family ties, and she still felt the pangs of separation and farewells when she stepped onto the ferry bound for Nantucket.
Yet, as she approached the island, she was ready to begin her new life with Tim, and just as he had countless times before, he was there to greet her when she disembarked. The marked contrast this time in their meeting, however, was in how they approached each other with Tim running to Kate, and Kate falling into his arms at which he lifted her off the ground, as they embraced, for the joyous occasion it was: the start of their future together!
As he twirled her round and around, and they laughed over and over, Kate recalled the little bet they had made once when Tim had predicted that she would be living on the island within two years. She humorously thought to herself, He was only off by six months! (Naturally, he had erred on the side of optimism.) Still, Kate had to admit he was a pretty good fortuneteller, and so she let him win the bet as she later informed him to which they both shared a good laugh over it. Nevertheless, Tim had been right, as he usually was having always known her better than she knew herself, Kate realized, acknowledging, as well, that she couldn't be happier by that fact or at having lost the bet, because, ultimately, she had won! (The question of the wager's prize would be saved for their honeymoon.)
Little Saint Mary's Lady of the Isle Church was filled to capacity on that Spring Saturday afternoon. From the first day they had decided to marry, Kate and Tim had talked about inviting closest family and friends to attend in order to make the event small and intimate, but upon, immediately, telling others about their plans, they found that their future wedding fast becoming an item of enormous interest to so many, even six months in advance!
Hence, they began to invite those who insisted on coming, anyway, and the list they had initially drew up grew to such a vast number, beyond anything either Tim or Kate had imagined! In due course, on the actual day, together, they were able to do what Kate had never been able to do on her own – she and Tim brought out a crowd, a genuine, capacity crowd, for so many wanted to see this marriage happen, this particular wedding, and to be witnesses to this match, inasmuch, as all knew it was a union hard won and a special one a long time in the making.
Kate's wedding dress was, also, a thing of great interest for several had wondered what she would choose to wear. Being an older bride, some guessed she would dress simply, perhaps, even in a tailored suit, something that had occurred to Kate from one time or another in the past whenever she would think about her wedding day, long before she had ever met Tim. However, now that the actual occasion was upon her, it took no convincing to persuade her for something a little more elaborate for such a singularly, monumental event in her life. After all, it had taken nearly forty-one years for her to reach this distinct milestone; thus, the attire would reflect the celebration as much as any other element or ingredient.
With this notion in mind, Kate had what had always been her secret choice, a Victorian style white dress for she had always loved women's fashion at the turn of century. This particular version would be even more unique for the one who had borne Kate into the world, her mother, would lovingly make it.
Erin Lindstrom was a remarkable seamstress, having made her own wedding dress forty-two years earlier and a cousin's years after that. Many believed that she always should have had her own shop, so adept were her skills; therefore, Kate trusted her mother implicitly with the task. Having only six months in which to accomplish it, Erin set to work immediately.
The result was exquisite and exactly as Kate had wished for as it was the dress of an Irish porcelain doll she had once given her mother. Kate's was an exact replica of the model, the only differences being that the doll's dress was green and white, and full length, while Kate's was completely ivory white and tea length or to her shins. Kate couldn't have been happier with her mother's efforts.
The dress had a high lace collar set off by ribbon. The bodice was satin, covered in lace to the shoulders with silk ribbon through it, also, adorned with faux pearls in a circular pattern right below the neck, containing a shamrock within. The sleeves were lace down to the wrists, where they became cuffs gathered with ribbon again prolonged by further lace extending at the tips. The waist was high in like manner to the Empress style, which was fairly close to the bust line, but then satin extended down to the calves, overlaid entirely by a fine netted lace, ending in a ribboned, laced, and satin ruffle all along the bottom. Kate chose not to have a train nor wear a veil, opting instead to wear flowers in her hair, gathered around the top of her upswept curls.
Both Kate and her mom were, ecstatically, pleased with the outcome, as was Tim upon seeing his bride in the church that afternoon, and just like any other girl on her wedding day, Kate felt like a princess. Moreover, the consensus was that she resembled one, too, despite her middle age, though it was forgotten quick enough, as she looked young as a twenty-year old coming down the aisle.
Tim was dressed splendidly, as well, as he appeared in white tux and white bow tie with black trousers, looking very much as Kate's own father had on his own wedding day. It occurred to Kate that never in the four years she had known Tim had she ever seen him in a suit, and his appearance bowled her over! He was her dashing prince, her knight in shining armor. Together, they made quite a pair; perfectly complementing each other, infinitely suited one to the other.
As the ceremony proceeded, Kate was aware that she was not nervous. For her, it was as if just she and Tim stood before God and the priest. It seemed the most natural thing in the world, and she was amazed and grateful. Where she had been nervous at other people's weddings in the past, at her own, she was, extraordinarily, calm. Kate could only attribute it to the fact that she and Tim had, basically, just experienced a four year courtship without being really aware of it, and having come to feel completely comfortable and at ease with him in that time frame, her wedding day would be no different. What a strange bit of irony, she thought, but how thankful she was for it.
What she experienced most, however, was gladness and joy. Tim radiated the same back to her each time she looked to him throughout the nuptial Mass, beginning with the greeting and the opening prayer to the lighting of the unity candle, from the scripture readings to the sermon, the wedding vows to the exchange of the rings, until the Eucharist rites, throughout communion, (which they served to each other), and right up to the time of the final blessing over them; Tim rarely ever took his eyes off of Kate nor she him.
As Kate and Tim had gone down from the sanctuary to their families at the offering of the Sign of Peace ritual, the mixture of emotion on her mother's face as she kissed her on the cheek had struck Kate. She had tried to ascertain what Erin Lindstrom was feeling. By her mother's tears, Kate assumed it was sadness just as on the day she had left for California when she had come upon her mother kicking the dirt beneath her feet in the driveway, shocking Kate when Erin had finally lifted her head to reveal eyes filled with tears as she faced her daughter to say goodbye.
Kate wondered if that same emotion was something of what her mother was feeling now, but then she quickly recognized that there was something more, something deeper and more profound in Erin's expression. Kate believed it to be a look of genuine contentment, followed by a greater look of triumph. So much so that for the first time in Kate's life, she felt, without a doubt, that she had, truly, made her mother proud, both her parents, as Fred Lindstrom stood beaming from ear to ear as well. All of which, only added to their daughter's joy on such a joyful day!
When the pastor of St. Mary's pronounced Tim and Kate husband and wife at the close of the nuptials and said to the groom, "You may kiss the bride," touching Kate's face with one hand while putting his arm around her back, Tim kissed her, and in doing so, they shared their most heartfelt kiss to date, loving and playful, sweet and tender, but full of passion just the same, as he then dropped his hand down to her waist, pulling her closer to him in the process.
When the long exchange was over, having been broken only by the new couple's joyous laughter, the pastor presented, "Mr. and Mrs. Timothy O'Malley," for the first time anywhere, at which a thunderous applause erupted from the guests, many of whom were on their feet with the excitement of the moment! Tim and Kate, still hugging, heads bent towards each other in a gesture of closeness and sublime bliss, turned to face the congregation to smile their thanks and their happiness. What happened next were a couple of surprises, one from Kate, and one from Tim.
Following an ancient Spanish custom she had learned of long ago in California from a foremost expert of Spanish wedding mores, Kate took her bouquet back from her matron of honor, and then leaving the sanctuary, she proceeded to the statue of Saint Mary that was prominently displayed to the left of the altar. Tim and the pastor followed at a distance behind her. As the clapping and whooping subsided, a hush came over those in attendance while all eyes were on Kate who alone knelt before the statue and reverently laid her bouquet down at the Saint's feet.
Therewith, saying a prayer as the tradition demanded of her, Kate petitioned that her marriage be always blessed by the Virgin Mother, watching over it from Heaven for all days. Kate had always sworn to herself that if she ever were to marry, she would carry out this custom to show her gratitude and thanks to God, as well as to all his saints and angels, whom she would be forever certain had watched over her so faithfully all through her years, most especially, the past four years.
Making the Sign of the Cross, Kate completed the ritual. Standing, she walked to Tim's side, to where he had been waiting patiently for her. Taking her hand, he led her back to the front of the sanctuary, where he next did something that elicited shock at first that then turned to delight for everyone in attendance. It was something that was entirely unexpected to every person present except to Kate who had learned, a long time ago, to expect the unexpected from Tim.
Reaching for her one hand, and placing his other around her waist, just as he had done at the altar, Tim drew Kate close to him. He gave her a mischievous look as he held her in this posture. Her arms went about him naturally, and she gazed into his eyes quizzically with a silent question that seemed to beg, What are you doing? In the next second, she got her answer for without being fully aware, though feeling a familiarity to their stance, Tim had set them up as if to dance, which is exactly what he did as he suddenly, and eccentrically, waltzed Kate down the aisle before the pastor and the entire congregation of witnesses and right out the front door of the church.
From the congregation, there was first stunned silence, then bewildered gasps and double takes, followed finally by wild cheering and applause at this most unconventional way of proceeding down the aisle as a new couple. Never before had the like of it been seen in Nantucket nor perhaps anywhere else for that matter, but it was of no consequence to Mr. and Mrs. O'Malley for they had just shared their first dance as husband and wife because their joy was boundless and because it was a ritual they always shared in together for the past few years. Why should their wedding have been any different? It was the perfect gift to Kate and to the congregation and completely appropriate for this most jubilant of occasions, as Tim had believed it would be in thinking of it in the first place.
Tom O'Malley kissed his wife, Marie, and Mr. and Mrs. Lindstrom, hugged close as they along with the entire church witnessed the exuberant exit of the newlyweds. Jacob and Tamara O'Malley, being the small bundles of energy that they were, and full of giggles and squeals of laughter, tore down the aisle and out of the church after Uncle Tim and after their new Aunt Kate. Following their cue, the crowd joined them, though in a more decorous fashion if not equal liveliness, as everyone left the little church and burst out into the glorious sunshine and brightness of this day which many present said was like a great heavenly sign of brilliant, new beginnings for Tim and Kate's new life together.
That evening, their wedding night, Kate knelt on the floor, as she had every night before alone, lit a candle and said a prayer of thanksgiving reflecting over the day. She recalled the words of a song she had heard long ago that spoke of how God had a specific plan for every living soul, one that goes beyond anything one could ever imagine Way Beyond the Blue, as the song was titled. Hence, everyone had a Beyond the Blue. Nantucket had been hers on account of that Kate had never dreamed in her youth that she would meet her husband, her soul mate, on a little island in New England, and that she would settle down as a shopkeeper's wife.
How her plans had changed! Once, she had held such big dreams, but as Kate had grown older her yearning for a simpler life had won out. She had always hoped to live an extraordinary life, and now she would live an ordinary one in an extraordinary way with a man who truly loved her, and she would be happy.
Kate had no doubts about this by virtue of that she finally felt complete, whole, at peace. She felt as though she had finally come home, and that she would never be restless again, because she had found that which had been missing, that which she had searched for her entire adult life – love, whole and unconditional, and a place in the heart, a place to call home, a place that suited her, and a person made for her.
Bless the Lord, Kate prayed, who had inspired her and whispered to her to go to Nantucket, to find her dream, her soul mate. Thank Divine Providence who had sent her to Tim. Kate knew, down deep in her heart, just as Tim had said out on the moors, that it was no accident their coming together. They were destined to meet. Tim had been right in saying that it was preordained. They only had to say yes to the rest of it, and yet, it sent a chill through Kate even now to think how she almost didn't, how she had come so close to saying no, had at first said it, but having realized her mistake, then been given another chance by Tim or by God, or maybe by both. To think that it was fear that had caused that dreadful mistake. Kate shuddered to think of what would have been if she had not received that second chance. She believed now that she would never be afraid again with Tim by her side.
Yes, Nantucket had been her Way Beyond the Blue as simplistic as it seemed due to the fact that it had brought Tim into her life and brought hope for a wonderful, new future. She thanked God. No more days of sitting at a desk for endless hours and answering a switchboard, no more office and dress codes. Not that it was so horrible at first, but it came to be without purpose, and now her life would have purpose for her purpose and her life would be Tim and their life together.
She would spend her days and her nights with Tim in the sweet simplicity that for so long had eluded her since the time had never been right before for the circumstances to occur. No matter how Kate had tried in the past, she had been unable to slow down the harried pace as a result of her job, her environment, ever her church. It was just from where she had come, the life she had fallen into or created for herself. Now, however, she would spend her days in a little shop, and her nights in a little house, but it would be perfection to her!
Strange how our priorities change, thought Kate. As a young girl, she had dreamed of growing up to become a famous actress with a big house or an international film director to travel the world. As a forty-one year old woman, she could no longer imagine such a life for herself; no longer did she even want it.
Here and now she would be content to live her days behind the counter of Tim's little store, their little store, waiting on customers as he made his glass for the tourists and islanders, and Kate would no longer worry about breaking his creations as she once had fretted about, in view of the fact that she no longer felt out of balance as she had been most of her life alone. With Tim in her life, there was a steadiness to her, a secure calm that exuded from her being, so that Kate was able to leave behind forever the accident prone, shaky, nervous woman she once had been; that's what Tim had done for her also. He had brought that balance and steadiness to her. He had brought the calm.
They would work together Tuesday through Saturday, taking Sundays and Mondays off as Kate had done when she had worked the little gift shop in her church years ago in one of the happiest periods of her life. She would do all the book work for Tim as he had admitted several times to her that he had never liked doing it and had never trusted others to do it for him either. Their lives would be very plain and ordinary to most, but, to Kate, it would be paradise and what she had come to dream of in her heart at one time or another and, through many instances, had tried to squelch, as well, though no longer.
She had a sneaking suspicion that her restlessness of old would never reappear again for she had finally reached contentment and found what she had always been looking for. Kate further believed she would never need to worry about life becoming too routine or monotonous, getting to her and bringing her down. Nor would she care if the customers and the tourists began to aggravate, because Tim would be with her, and Kate felt assured that life with him would be good each and every day of what she hoped would be their long future together.
As these and many other thoughts went through Kate's mind as she knelt before her prayer candle, Tim came to stand not far behind her, out of her way but close enough to watch her. She sensed he was there, but she didn't feel self-conscious as she would have with others in the past, which is why she never followed her nightly prayer routine when they were around. With Tim, on the other hand, she felt completely comfortable and totally at ease, as if it was most natural thing in the world, as though he had been a part of her life forever.
Looking up in the mirror above the little table where she was kneeling, Kate exchanged glances with Tim who stood leaning against the door frame. She looked back down in the glow of the candle flame and smiled, asking God to bless her wedding night. Then making the Sign of the Cross to conclude her prayer, Kate blew out the candle and rose. The scent from the smoke wafted through the room, leaving a lingering, sensual fragrance in the air. To add to the romantic ambiance, a single beam of light shone through the window hitting the spot where Tim stood.
Kate turned and walked towards Tim who had moved closer to the bed. As she came to his side, he smiled and kissed her. In the moonlight, he could see her special evening attire, that is a floor length negligee, for the occasion of their first night as husband and wife, and he nodded appreciatively. They both laughed softly and easily.
Then, pulling down the covers of the bed, Tim encouraged, "Climb in." Kate obliged as she took off her robe (a gift from the girls from work), got into the four poster bed of their honeymoon suite and sunk down under the covers, followed closely by Tim.
Even with the room being mostly dark except for the moon and a few shadows, nevertheless, they could see each other indistinctly. Kate loved the night since it hid all one's flaws, not that she needed to be concerned about that with Tim, yet a part of her still secretly fretted a little. After all, she did not want to disappoint him after everything they had been through to get to this moment. Then again, she had to remember that it was Tim, and, therefore, there was no cause for worry.
Tim reached to hold Kate under covers. All at once, he let out a very, audible sigh.
"What's wrong? What's the matter?" asked Kate suddenly alarmed.
Tim took a deep breath before answering. "How many layers do you have on under this, Kate?" he inquired touching one of the garments she was wearing.
Now it was Kate's turn to sigh. "Only two," replied Kate sheepishly.
She could almost see Tim shaking his head. She did hear a second sigh come forth from him. She tried to explain. "I can't help it! I'm always cold." Though the night gown was beautiful, Kate felt it was highly impractical, and so, of course, she would feel a chill, normally, for her, but one certain solution had escaped her until Tim pointed it out.
"Kate, did it ever occur to you that I might keep you warm?"
She had to admit that the thought had not entered her mind up until that moment, stupidly, but Kate had a further explanation that she shared with him.
"Old habits die hard," she said, somewhat apologetically.
Tim inhaled and exhaled another deep breath as he thoughtfully, quietly, and just a tad teasingly, declared, "I can see life with you will never be dull!"
Kate giggled. "Funny, I was just thinking the exact same thing of you!"
~ ~ ~
Long ago, as far back as she could remember, her fondest wish and desire had been to love and be loved. Sadly, however, somewhere along the way, she had begun to believe, erroneously, that she was unworthy of love, that she would never be graced with that particular divine blessing and, thus, would never be loved for who she was.
Yet, astoundingly, love had come to her, all at once and completely, in a man who, purposefully and without reservation, loved her unconditionally. More incredible still was the fact that this gentle man was entirely and perfectly willing to accept and live with her myriad of quirky traits and idiosyncrasies besides. That, in spite of these, or perhaps, because of them, he miraculously loved her all the more! Astonishing and wondrous, indeed!
The first words he had ever spoken to her were, "Are you waiting for me?"
In retrospect, without having known or been fully aware or cognizant of it, she had, remarkably, fantastically even, well been waiting for him, that day and through all her many days leading up to their fateful meeting.
Yes, by far, thought Kate, God has surely blessed me and made my life complete.
~THE END~
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