Duality

Chapter 1: Expectations & Duty

Hyperion

It's always the smell that hits me first. The smell of smoke and fire; of the dirt and sweat coming off the ground; of the blood and decay from the bodies littering the ground...and that's when the sounds come in. The battles still being fought. The moaning of the dying souls, their pain ringing out. When I think, it cannot get worse, my sight finally comes and I can see the destruction around me. I can see the blood staining my hands-

"Stop!" I yell out and soon, the deadly battlefield leaves my sights and I'm back inside a familiar office. I place my hands over my eyes as if to try and drown out the previous vision, but know that it’s impossible, seeing how those visions stay with me during my nightmares.

It takes me a few minutes to regain my voice and sense of self to address the person sitting across from me. "Why do you always bring that place up during sessions? Isn't it enough that I see it every night in my sleep, now my waking world needs to be ruined too?"

A sigh rings out throughout the room causing me to look up and see Healer Jacobs Khoy, the castle resident psychiatrist staring at me. Looking at me like he's about to pry my mind again, but I feel no unwanted presence, prying into my mind.

"Prince Hyperion," Healer Jacobs begins, addressing me by my formal title. "You know that I have no control with what first appears in your mind. That nightmare shows up because it's the first thing on your mind."

"Yes, I know, but you can stop it before it fully forms!" I argue back, the despair in my voice changing to anger. "The moment it comes, you could change it to a different memory. Instead, you let it play out until I force you out!"

"I let it play out because it needs to play out," He answers in that cryptic way of his that makes me want to grit my teeth. "Last I checked, it was you who came to me, for help, Your Highness." His words stop me cold as flashes appear in my mind. My hands around a throat; guards pulling me off my butler before the life could leave him.

"That I did..." I start as I try and shake the memory away. "...but I came here hoping that you could erase those memories away. Not make me relieve them...again."

In the land of Lumbra, the population is split into two set of people: Opas, or mortals and the Marked, people who are born with a special mark on their person. Myself and Healer Jacobs are both Marked because we are descendants of the original families who were granted the marks from the supposed gods of our nation. The Battle Goddess, Aurelia and the Healing Saint, Silas. The legend goes that Aurelia and Silas was at war with a neighboring nation and they were losing, badly, but an unexpected player came and turned the war in Aurelia's and Silas's favor...the people of Lumbra.

The mortals saw their gods in troubles and so, twelve families rose and fought with gods to protect their land. In the end, the war ended with the Battle Goddess and Healing Saint victory and as thanks for their help, the two blessed the twelve with a piece of their power. These twelve would soon be known as the Twelve Blessed Families. A name that is used to this day.

The six who aided Aurelia with their fighting spirits were granted the Black Mark of Battle, giving them enhanced physical abilities as strength, speed and the ability to fight. They became known as Warriors down the line. That is the mark I was blessed or cursed with, depending how you look at it.

While those six were blessed by Aurelia, the six who gave Silas part of their soul to be able to heal, were given the White Mark of Cure. They were granted the power to heal and as the name implies, they would become to be known as Healers. Depending on which healing power they were granted, they could heal wounds to the body, mind or the soul.

Healer Jacobs specializes in healing of the mind and that is what I was hoping he would do for me. Instead, for the last several weeks, all he's been doing is making me relieve my worst nightmares and my patient is wearing thin.

"Rion," Jacobs begins, surprising me into focus with the use of my nickname, a name that only a few call me by. "I know you think that I'm just torturing you; forcing you to face these memories, but I'm doing this for your own good, Hyperion. The sooner you face this, the faster you can begin healing."

"But I don't want to face them, I just want them gone!" I flinch at how whiny I sound, but my desperation is growing. "Please Healer Jacobs, erase them. Suppress them! Hell, I don't care, just do something other than make me relive it again and again."

He stays silent for a few moments and my hope begins to rise as I think he's considering my plea, but the next words out of his mouth causes them to plummet. "Apologizes Prince Hyperion, but I cannot do that."

"And why not?" It takes all my willpower not to yell the words in my anger and desperation.

"Because just erasing the memories doesn't erase that they happened. Erasing them just eases the pain for a while, but trust me, those memories will come back. Maybe not today or tomorrow or even ten years from now, but someday they would return and it will break you. The only way for them to truly end is to embrace them."

"Embrace them?" I ask as my desperation fade and the anger grows. "You want me to embrace what I did? Embrace the blood on my hands, the bodies buried in the ground because of me!? Are you insane!?"

"Hyperion-"

"Don't you dare 'Hyperion" me, Jacobs," I interrupt, my patience reaching its end. "I came to you for help. To stop the memories from coming so my body wouldn't act out again and this is what you give me: Forcing me to relieve the memories on repeat and now telling me to embrace them. No, I refuse. I can accept that I am a... murderer, but I will not embrace that."

"And I am not asking you to," Jacobs jumps in, taking advantage of the break. "I am only asking you to embrace these memories. Accept that these are actions that you have done. Once that happens, you can put it behind you."

I give a slow shake of my hand as I lean back into my chair. "I can't accept them."

"Hy-"

"I cannot accept them...because if I do, they will break me and if they do not, the shame of letting them affect me, will."

"What do you mean?" Jacobs ask, truly confused.

"Have you not met me?" His confusion grows. "I am Prince Hyperion Alexander Daisuke Raion, Heir of the Raion family and the Crown Prince of Lumbra. Major and Leader of the Third Battalion of the Lumbra Military. I am the last person that this should affect."

"Hyperion..." He pauses, waiting to see if I'm going to interrupt again. Once it becomes clear I won't, he continues. "...Just because you're the crown prince and a Warrior, doesn't mean that war can't affect you. It doesn't mean that killing shouldn't faze you."

"Really, because how does that look?" I sarcastically ask, but I can hear the truth bleeding through my words. "I am a Warrior. Battle and war is supposed to be my calling, especially as the Warrior crown prince. I should reveal that I killed and all I feel is hatred and guilt for myself and all those that bled in my hands." A cold shiver goes down my spine. "If my mother knew-"

I quickly shut my mouth before the next words leave, but I can see from Jacobs eyes that I've given him enough.

"So, you're concern about what your mother, the queen will think?" I shut my lips tighter. "Hyperion...I know the queen is strict, but I am certain that she would not be upset with your time on the front lines affecting you." I must suppress the urge to scoff at even the notion of my mother showing even the slightest concern of my well-being.

But, I know that it will not be pretty if she finds out that I've been discussing her, especially to a shrink. So, I try and steer the conversation away from her.

"My mother is of no concern. Last I checked we are here to discuss me and these horrible nightmares. My family's life is of no one concern except those of us in the Raion family. So, I suggest we move along, Healer Jacobs."

"I beg your pardon, Hyperion, but I have to disagree. I think-"

"Last I checked, you are not paid to think, you are paid to help!" I exclaim in the low, princely voice I developed over the years. The one persona that 'people' thought I should convey. "And discussing my mother or anyone of my family is not subject to ever be broach. Do you understand, Healer Khoy?"

An uncharacteristic look of anger flashes on Jacobs's face, but he quells it down as he gives me a low nod that makes my stomach churn. "Yes, your Highness. My apologizes for overstepping."

"It's ok," I wearily accept, the persona slipping. My eyes flick over towards the clock and sees the time. "Apologizes myself, Healer Jacobs. I have to cut our session short. My parents will be expecting me soon to discuss important matters."

"Yes, of course. I will see you in a few days." With that, I stand and head towards the door, but before I can leave through, Healer Jacobs's voice brings me back. "Hyperion?" He asks, risking to use my first name again. I stop and turn towards him. "Just to let you know, if there's anyo- anything you wish to discuss before our next session. My door is always open."

I give him a small, knowing smile and give him a small bow. "Yes, I know Healer Jacobs. I will keep that in mind. Good day." I turn and head out the door, knowing that I will never discuss the subject on both of our minds.
​

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I pace outside the massive doors that serves as the barrier between the main hall and the dining room where my parents sit, most likely finishing their breakfasts. For the last ten minutes, I've been standing here, delaying my entrance into the room. Had it just been Father waiting for me, I would go in with open arms and his smile welcoming me… but I know there's no warmth in that room today. The dead of winter is there.

A maid comes out from behind the doors with a giant tray of dirty dishes on there and I know that I can't delay the inevitable any longer.

With a breath, as if it was my last, I open the door and head inside. Inside, I'm greeted by large, golden walls with lavender trimmings. The colors of the Raion family. The large windows on my right shines in the rays of the sun, making the room light up in gold. Sitting in the middle of the room, is a large, wooden table and at the end, sits my mother at the head and my father on her left side. The reminisce of their breakfast sitting in front of them.

"Look who has come to grace us with his presence," My mother says as her eyes stay on a set of papers in front of her. Any warm from the sun has gone, by the coldness in her voice.

"Apologizes, Mother," I offer as I go into a low bow. "My training session ran late and I did not want to appear disheveled in your presence." Mother looks away from her papers for a moment and stares at me with her deep, black eyes before looking back down and subtly gestures me to the table, which I take as the sign that my tardiness has been forgiven...for now, anyway.

When I finally reach her right side, I look over at the empty seat next to my usual one. "Seraphina didn't join breakfast this morning?" I ask even though the non-existence of my twin sister presence is not surprising. Judging from the note sent to me last night for my presence this morning, it did not sound that the two of us were requested.

Surprisingly, it is my father who answers. "Your sister is spending the day with Andres Tsul. Your mother was generous enough to let them have breakfast in the gardens, alone.”

"I didn't know Andres was on leave,” I mumble softly before addressing my father again. “Well, it was nice of Mother to let Seraphina spend time with her betroth, before Andres has to be shipped off again,” I state with a false smile as my stomach drops a little. Not that I’m not happy for my sister or that I don’t like Andres, he’s a great guy. I just wish that the two of them could be allowed to pick their own spouses, instead of being forced into this arraignment. Not like I have any choice in my own spousal choice…

Just like that, I'm lost in thought, something I rarely do under my mother's watch, but it can't be help as blue eyes and a kind voice enters my mind and I'm transported to happier times. But, as if she can read my mind, my mother's voice breaks me out of my daydream.

"Of course, I was going to let them spend the day together," Mother says like it's the most obvious thing in the world and Father and I are idiots for thinking any different. "Andres will be turning twenty-one in several months and the two are set to marry right after. It will be good for the two of them to get used to each other company. Seraphina knows how important this marriage of our families. She knows that it's her duty to marry proper people...unlike others..."

My fingers begin to edge the hilt of the knife I keep strapped to my belt as I fight off the anger building. Do not react...do not react...do not react… I repeat the words over in my mind, knowing that anything I do will not end well.

I know I have to change the subject before my anger gets the better of me and this ends bloody. "Mother...may I ask, why did you wish to see me this morning?"

Mother looks over at me for a few, deadly moments. The silence building as if she's waiting for my next move. After a few more seconds, she looks back down at her papers. "Lady Kana of the Strelnieks family is coming for a visit this afternoon."

Her words cause the anger to die down some and faze more into annoyance. There's only one reason why Lady Kana is visiting… But I wait for Mother to start again, instead of voicing my thoughts. "She wishes to meet with you and have lunch." Of course… Ever since I've returned from the front lines, my mother has been setting me up with several daughters of the lower Twelve Blessed families.

For heirs to become official heads of their families, they must meet three requirements: First, they must be at least age twenty-one; Second, their betrothal must be a member of one of the Twelve Blessed and Third, the betrothal must not be an heir of their own family. The same goes for the crown prince or princess and for myself and my sister, our twenty-first birthday past several months ago.

Since then, mother has been setting me up on meetings with women she feels are 'suitable' to be my wife and mother of the future heirs of the Raion family and the kingdom...but we all know that's a lie. There's only reason why she's doing this; for me to have a wife that she feels she can control and thus, be in control of me and the crown...and who I would like to marry, doesn't give her that control.

"Lady Kana will be here early this afternoon, so I hope you will be on your best behavior and give her a proper greeting," Mother continues, ignorant of my inner war. Luckily for me, I have an excuse to miss out on this meeting...at least for today. Hopefully, it works.

"Mother?" I ask as I fully face her, making sure not to look her in the eye. The more submissive I am, the less lethal she is.

"What is it, Hyperion?" She demands as she flips a paper over. The soft clicks of my father's silverware stops and I sense him waiting for my question as well.

"I was wondering, if it would be ok...if I met with Lady Strelnieks tomorrow, instead of today?"

Silence envelops the room again as I feel Mother's eyes bare down on me. "I'm sorry...what did you say, Hyperion?"

"It's just...I promised the new trainees that I would head their lesson and it would be a bit of hassle to reschedule another lesson since many of them will be shipping off soon."

"It is not your job to train the whelps. Most of them are cannon folder," Mother coldly states, which tests my control again. "They have someone to train them. You are the crown prince, they fit their life around you, not the other way around."

Before I can come back with an argument, my father jumps in. "Just let Hyperion have his training session today. Lady Strelnieks can wait one more day."

The room grows deathly silent as both Mother and I look over at Father. Surprise on my face, fury on mother's and judging from the look on his, he's in shock by his blatant contradiction of Mother.

"D... dear, I... I di...mean."

Mother holds up a hand to stop Father's stammered apology and he wisely shuts his mouth and looks down at his plate. Mother's eyes check around the room and I already know what she's checking for… She's making sure that only a handful of witnesses to see what's about to happen next.

"Hyperion, would you mind leaving the room, please?" Mother asks in a soft voice without looking at me. "I would like you to escort me to my budget meeting, but I would like a word with your father first...alone."

"Mother, maybe I should..." I begin, hoping to save my father from his incoming punishment, but Mother looks at me from the corner of her and I quickly shut my mouth. Instead, I give a low bow and turn towards the doors. I risk a peek over my shoulder toward my father and I see him gripping the table, waiting for what will happen next. It's not until the door shuts behind me, is when I hear father's yelp of pain. I shut my eyes and try and fail to shut the sounds out.

A few minutes later, the sounds stop and the door suddenly swings open as my father races out without a passing glance. Even without the sounds of pain, I can tell what happened, just by the way he was holding himself. It's a position I know too well…

"Let's go, Hyperion," Mother commands as she comes to my side as she's slipping her white gloves back on, but I can see a spot of blood on her hand before it disappears. I don't question, I just hold my arm dutifully out to her, which she takes.

We walk in silence down the long corridor and I count the minutes as they pass until we finally reach the council room.

"Hyperion..."

"Yes, Mother?" I ask as she pulls her arm away and looks over at me.

Her face doesn't give anything away as she stares at me. After a second, she raises her hand and it takes all my willpower not to flinch at incoming blow, but she surprises me and fixes my collar. "You can have your training session."

"Pardon?"

"Do not make me repeat myself, Hyperion. I said you could have your training session. Aurelia knows, they could use all the help they could get. Just make sure to end it by two this afternoon. I will call ahead and push back the meeting with Lady Kana until four. That should give you enough time to get ready."

I can only stare in surprise. Mother never makes compromises. Demands and commands, yes, but compromises, never. Why the change…? Could it be that she got all her anger out on Father, that she's in a generous mood? As suspect as this is, I cannot look a gift horse in the mouth and quickly go into a lowly bow. "Thank you, Mother, I promise I will not be late."

"See to it," She says as she touches my collar again when I stand to full height again. She stares at me for a few moments before a wicked smile appears and before I can do anything, I feel a hard punch to my stomach, causing me to crash to my knees. "Did you really think that your father would be the only one being punished today? You should know better by now, son!" She delivers a quick kick at my back, causing me to fall completely to the floor.

Normally, she wouldn't risk her 'punishment' in the open like this, but I guess Father's got her into a giddy mood.

"I do all these nice things for you, like trying to find you a wife who could put up with you and all you are is selfish!" She stomps on my back and I muffle the face to the ground so she can't hear my pain. "Ungrateful...little...bastards!" With each word, she kicks my side harder and harder.

Kicking, she continues with my assault and I can feel the frustration growing and growing. On and on she goes until I feel something crack inside me. At first, I think she broke a rib again, but the crack is in my head. Enough is enough!

She gears up for another blow, but before it makes contact, I quickly roll away and like lightning, knock my mother ground and pin her to the floor. My knife against her throat. The surprise is evident in her eyes. She's heard rumors of my speed, but never witnessed it in action. Especially used against her.

I press the knife closer, not enough to break skin, but enough that I know it must be uncomfortable. I wait for the fear and pleading to start...but Mother surprises me...which it shouldn't have. I know this isn't the first time a knife has been held up to her throat. Instead of fear, she grins and stares up at me. "Do it, Hyperion. Do it!" She eggs on as she places a hand on mine, the one holding the knife and presses it further, enough where a thin line of red appears. "Slice my throat and commit Regicide. Not to mention Matricide!"

Her words cause me to waver. She's unfortunately right. If I killed her right now, I would be branded as a queen killer. Not to mention the murder of my own mother. Even with her history of known abuse and the cry I would make in self-defense, no jury would hear of it. I would be put to death and that's just me. What would become of Sera? Would they put her to death as well, just for being my twin? It's one thing to condemn myself, but to do the same thing to my sister...Never...

Luckily or unluckily, the choice is made for me. In my inner debate, I didn't realize I let Mother behind my defenses and soon, she's lifting me off and throwing me across the room with her specialty. Just like Healers split into different skills, Warriors are the same. Each one of us have a special skill, like my speed and Mother is no exception. Double-back, the skill that double her strength by that of her opponents. It's one of the many reasons that we all subject under her abuse… How can you fight back your strength, at twice the force…

She stands over me with a wicked smile before pressing her foot, slowly down on my chest, causing my breath to shorten. "I should beat the hell out of you right now. Had it been anyone else, they would be dead by now...but I'm in a generous mood and I would hate for you to show up covered in bruises when you meet Lady Kana today. So, I will write this off as a... youthful disruption. See it doesn't happen again." She presses down harder and I can hear my ribs start to crack a little. Luckily, she lets up at that moment and walks off.

I lay there for a few minutes, just listening, making sure she's not coming back. The sounds of quick, shuffling feet ring out from the other hall and I know the staff is hanging back, just as fearful of my mother coming back.

After several, staggering breaths, I finally decide that the close is clear and begin to stand. Each movement painful and stumble along the hallway, no direction in mind. The events repaying in my mind. Why...why does she hold all the cards… No matter which way you look at it, she has all the power. If I fight or run, she takes everything out on Seraphina… If I run with Sera, she would search all the world for us…

Warmth fall on my head and it's not until I look up and shield my eyes that I even realize that I walked outside and right on the training field. The sounds of gunshot drills ring around me, but it all blurs away as I go into my thoughts again. How do you fight an unbeatable force…

"Prince Hyperion!" A voice yells in my ear, snapping me out of my thoughts. I look over and see the panic look of one of the trainees. Several others race over, similar looks on their own faces.

"What is it?" I ask, wondering what the panic is.

"You...you don't feel that, sir?" Another trainee asks; her face pale in shock.

"Feel what?" I ask in a louder tone and look around at all of them. "What is the matter?"

"Your Highness...you've been shot..."

"Shot? I haven't been..." I trail off as my hand brushes along my abdomen and a warm, familiar substance coats my hand. Looking down, I see blood staining my hand and a small hole, gushing even more out from my stomach. After a few dazed moments, I slowly look back up at the trainees, who are all watching me with careful looks. "Oh...I was shot..." And with that, the world goes black...

2: Chapter 2: Dreams & Reality

Duality

Chapter 2: Dreams & Reality

Seraphina

I was twelve when I truly figured out that my life wasn't my own. At that age, most Warriors and Healers start their training full-time, because it would be six (now four), short years until they would be fighting on the front line for the Kingdom of Lumbra.

My brother Hyperion has long begun his training before then, but the day after our twelfth birthday was when our mother had him train with the corp. Since it was my twelfth birthday too, I had thought I would truly begin training as a full-fledged healer, but I was wrong…

The day after my birthday, when I asked if I should head down to the medical quarters, my mother told that that it wouldn't be necessary. That I would continue with my private lessons and get the notion of being on the front lines out of my head. When I asked her why, she told me that my only job was to marry one of the suitable heirs of the Twelve Blessed families.

I remember yelling at her, saying that anyone should just stay put is Hyperion, being the crown prince and all and that I would be more useful at the front. That she, as the former princess, wasn't expected to lay down and keep her legs open to a main like some whore, so, why should I?

... And that would be the first and only time I would feel my mother hands on me. She slapped me across my cheek and said how dare I raise my voice at her, the queen. That she and my brother were elevated and that I was nothing special, expect by name alone and that I should be grateful for even being considered a prize to the heir sons of the Twelve and I should know my place. She tried to raise a hand against me again, but that was the first and only time I'd seen my brother raise a hand against mother.

I remember her grabbing him and dragging him off. I didn't see him until that evening and even though his face didn't betray a thing...I knew the horror my mother inflected on him. It's when I learn that mine...and my brother's, life was not our own. After that, I decided to follow my mother's rule...for the most part…

Ninety-eight...Ninety-nine...One Hundred! With a huff, I fall to the ground in exhaustion. Even though it feels like a train has hit me, I can't help the smile that forms on my face. "Fi...finally!" I huff out as I sink lower into the ground to cool down. As anyone can tell, I did not heed my mother's words and get the 'nonsense' of training out of my head. In fact, I upped it.

Most Healers who stay on the home front are only trained in the basics of healing and medical know-how and depending on their style of healing, will go into different fields but those who are sent directly to the front lines, they receive a different type of training. In addition to the regular training, they also receive a basic training not unlike the Warriors have. Not as intense, but still strict. Especially for trench Healers, who must stay on the battle field to help those injured while in mid-battle. That's what I wanted to be…

...But instead, I'm stuck here, training in secret. If I asked any of the guards, they would report it straight back to my mother and asking my brother is completely out of the question…

A memory start to form in my head when I first asked Hyperion to train me when I wanted to learn. It was a year before he was sent to the front and I remember begging for him to do it. He hesitated and said no, but a few days later he created a routine for me. That's actually what I'm using now...but that was then, if I asked now, he would just walk on by like I hadn't said a word.

I let out a sigh and press my face against the floor, my high falling from memories of my brother.

We used to be a team, there were no secrets between us, as far as I knew. He was my best friend, but ever since his return, it's like he's a different person. Like my brother left and in return, just a solider came back. I don't know what happened over there, but it had to been big for him to completely change.

"I just wish he would come back..." I whisper as I bury my face even more as I try to drown the world out. I stay there for a few minutes as I let the silence of the training room envelop me until it becomes deafening and unbearable. With another sigh, I lift my arm to look at the time and it's enough to break me out my previous reprisal.

"No, no, no, no..." I repeat as I scramble to my feet and race for the door. Peeking out, I see that the hall is empty. "All clear..." I hurry across and head towards the back hall that will lead towards my room. I hadn't realized it gotten so late…

Looking around one last time, I quickly race into my room and clean up before slipping on my nightwear and getting into bed. I usually end training earlier so I can get back to my room in time to at least get a little sleep, but tonight, I'll be lucky to even get a little, if any at all.

And how right I am, when it feels like I'm asleep, a bright light hits my face, waking me up.

"Rise and shine, Princess Seraphina!" A familiar and annoyingly chipper voice sings out. That just causes me to groan and bury myself into my pillow.

"Go away, Abigail!" I yell in a muffle through my pillow.

Not to be deterred, Abigail rips the covers off me, making me shrink from the cold air hitting me. "Up and at em, Milady. You can't sleep the day away!" My groan becomes louder. Not to sleep the day away, but it would be nice to get a little sleep period…

Hands grab my shoulders and pull me out from my protection of pillow. "Princess Sera, it is time to wake up. You have a busy day ahead of you and I do not wish to use my other method of waking you up. You remember what happened last time, don't you?"

Her words trigger a new memory in my head… A very cold and wet memory that I never want to relive, ever again.

That alone is enough to cause me to shoot out of bed and head towards the bathroom. "Alright, you win, sadist!" I exclaim in my running and without turning around, I can sense the smile on Abby's lips.

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"How do you like the dress, Milady?" Abby asks as she begins brushing my hair to get it ready for the day.

"It's beautiful, Abby. You really out done yourself this time," I answer as I look up at her through my reflection of the mirror in front of us. My smile turns puzzled as I look down at the bright, yellow dress she has me in, which would be more appropriate as an evening dress than a day dress. "Abigail?"

"Yes, Princess?"

"Why did you dress me in an evening dress? Don't get me wrong, its breathtaking, but isn't it kinda...ostentatious for breakfast for my parents and itinerary scheduling with Eliza?"

Instead of answering me, a smile grows on her face as she starts to style my hair. "Do not worry, Milady. Everything will be clear very soon."

I let out a sigh at her words. "It's when you tell me not to worry when I worry the most..." But I would trust Abby with my life, so if she says there's no reason to worry, I trust her. I hope…

It takes her a while, but she finally finishes styling my hair for the day; designing it in an elegant way that matches the elegance of the dress. The way she did it, I look like a waking sunlight.

"You look so beautiful!" Abby exclaims when we finish as she guides me to the full-length mirror to look at her handy work in all its glory. With most princesses, there's at least three maids assigned, but when it's Abby, I just need her. She can do the work of ten maids combined. No one could have designed a dress like this.

"Abigail, you really have out done yourself this time." I give a little twirl to accent the dress. I'm usually not a fan of the rules and regulations of being a princess, but this is definitely one of the better perks.

She blushes at the praise and pulls me down as she looks me over for any loose threads. "I believe you are ready, Milady. You're going to make his jaw drop when he sees you!"

"When who sees me?" I knew something big was happening if she was putting this much work into my appearance, but I didn't know it was for someone specific. My brain rattles back to my previous meeting with Eliza to see if there's anyone special I missed coming. Besides Lady Kana Strelnieks, there's no one else I know of and there's only two other males in the castle that this much work would be put in. "Is my father or brother planning something special."

"No, of course this isn't for the Prince Consort or his Highness..." A blush appears on Abby's face when she mentions my brother and I have to resist the urge to roll my eyes. This is pretty much the same reaction a lot of the female staff has when they see or mention him. Too bad for them that his heart has already been captured by someone else. "...but another male close to you." Abby finishes, her infatuation with Rion dying down.

I just look over in her confusion but before I can question her further, a knock happens upon my door. "Looks like Lady Elizabeth is here for you. On you go." Abigail lightly pushes me towards the door. "You have a good day, Milady!"

"You too, Abigail..." I quietly say, looking over at her. Confusion still wrapped around my mind as I go into the hall and run into a familiar brunette.

"Late as always, your Highness," Elizabeth, or as we all call her, Eliza, heir to the Adrestia family and my personal assistant, greets me in her usual way. "Abigail had to roll you out of bed, didn't she?"

"Everyone is so insubordinate today!" I exclaim in mock anger. "I have half a mind to send all of you in front of a firing line." That earns me a laugh.

"Glad to see that Seraphina charm is at full force this morning," Eliza states with another laugh as her amber eyes glimmer in amusement. "Your happy mood matches your dress."

My hands run down the already smooth dress. "Yes...I'm down right cheerful..." I look up at her before we begin walking. "Will you tell me who this 'special' guest is that I'm supposed to cause their jaw to drop? Abigail seemed down right giddy about who it was."

"Sorry, Princess, under order to keep it secret." Of course…

"Will you at least tell me if this guest comes before or after lessons?" I rather they come before because if they rattle on, I miss meeting with my harpy of a tutor. That's all my morning need…

"Actually..." Eliza begins with a smile. "...your whole schedule has been cleared for the day." That stops me in my tracks.

"Wait...my entire schedule has been cleared!?" I don't even remember a time that my life wasn't scheduled. "But what about Lady Kana's visit? I thought I was planning that?"

Eliza gives a shake of her head before answering. "No, the queen decided to plan the lunch with Lady Kana herself." I start to question her, but slowly close my mouth. It doesn't surprise me that Mother took over the visit. Ever since Rion got back from the front lines, she's been at full force trying to get him married off.

She's been inviting almost every available second daughter or younger of the other blessed families here to capture his attention since his bride has to be his choice in the end. Hell, if Eliza wasn't heir, she probably would have 'persuaded' her to end her marriage, so she could marry Rion.

Knowing that, I decide to focus on other matters. "Alright...I can understand Mother taking over Kana's visit, but who is so important for my entire schedule to be cleared?"

"Mum's the word, Sera." Unlike most people, Eliza isn't afraid to call me by my first name without adding Princess to it. "I swore to Silas that I wouldn't speak a word, so stop fishing for information."

"I hate surprises..." I grumble out as we begin walking. We move towards safer topics as we get closer to the main dining hall doors, but before I can even near them, Eliza grabs my arm and steers me away. "What? I can't get breakfast now?"

"Oh, you're having breakfast. Just not in there."

"Mother decided to serve breakfast outside?" Mother usually avoids eating outside if she can help it. She must be really trying to impress this mystery guest if she's willing to compromise on that.

Eliza gives a shake of her head. "Your parents will not be joining you and your guest."

"Alright, who in the world is this guest!?" I exclaim in frustration, getting sick of not being in the loop, but of course...Eliza doesn't say anything, just continues to lead me towards one of the balconies that overlook the gardens.

I'm close to pulling my arm away Eliza and forcing her to tell me what's going on when I spot a figure standing by the railing of the balcony when we get outside. The figure, most likely hearing me, turns and I lock eyes onto bright, brown eyes and an equally bright smile.

"Andres?" I ask in surprise and confusion. Instead of answering, Andres comes running towards me and pulls me into a swinging bear hug that I can't help but laugh at. In mid swing, I notice that Eliza has excused herself, leaving the two of us alone.

After a few more swings, Andres finally places me back on my feet and gives me another bright smile. "Surprised to see me?"

"Of course!" This explains the secrecy and excitement… "I thought you were still serving on the southern lines and wouldn't be back until the winter."

"The skirmishes has eased up in the south and they didn't need as many us on the line, so I was granted an early leave to visit." Andres, despite the imposing figure he cuts, with his almost bulging biceps, is a Healer, same as me. "Of course, it also helps that it was mentioned I was the Princess's intended."

As he stated, Andres and I are engaged to be married. My mother informed me of the arrangement about a year ago, that I would be engaged to marry the heir of the Tsul family and sure enough, a few days later, Andres came and asked for my hand in marriage. And like I promised myself so long ago, I accepted.

I can't be too mad… I mean, I could have done a hundred times worse than Andres. Even though he looks like he would crush you with one finger, he's a gentle giant with his slicked back brown hair, that's ruffled up a little by the wind and his puppy eyes. He's probably one of the sweetest people ever and I know that we would have a happy life and that I would never have to worry about him being unfaithful. That he would truly love me...but…as hard as I try...I can't love him.

That sounds bad...I do love him, he is such a dear friend to me and I love seeing him when I can, but I don't love him the way someone is supposed to love their future husband. My heart doesn't race when I see him or I don't spend my time dreaming about him. I've seen what love looks like between two people and it doesn't come close to that…

"Sera?"

"Huh?" My mind is brought back to the present as I see Andres looking at me worryingly.

"Is something wrong?" He asks. "You kinda of zoned out on me for a second."

"I did? I'm sorry..." I apologize sincerely. "I didn't mean too. I didn't get a good night sleep and still a little out of it."

He gives me that Andres's smile of his and places a comforting hand on my shoulder. "No worries! Trust me, I've had those moments before. What you need is some nourishment!" He jerks a thumb toward the breakfast laid out for the two of us on the other side of the balcony. "Let’s get a bite." Despite my misgivings of our arrangement, I can always count on Andres to cheer me up.

"That was good!" Andres exclaims once we've finished. "Nothing beats the castle food! Especially after the mush they give us out on the field."

I let out a giggle. "No gourmet meals on the battlefront?"

"I wish!"

"Well, at least you only have a year left before you're discharged." In Lumbra, you enter the military when your sixteen and stay in until your twenty-one. After that, you can look for work or stay in the military and make it a career.

"There's that..." He trails off as something behind me catches his eye. I give him a questioning look before turning around and I can feel the air leave my lungs as my breath catches.

Standing in the threshold of the balcony is one of the few female guards employed to the castle. A cap is covering her hair, but I can spot a hint of auburn going down her back, but that isn't what catches my attention first. I lock eyes onto the deepest gray eyes I have ever seen before in my life, which stand out against her caramel. It's rare for someone to truly take me surprise, but this guard does that.

"Princess Seraphina?" The guard asks hesitantly and I can hear the hint of a Northern accent in her voice. Forcing my eyes away from her face, I look down at the band wrapped around the sleeve of her uniform and see an olive-green band. That explains the accent. The color shows she's of the Jaunavas family, which is prominently located in northern Lumbra.

In my distraction, I don't notice her call me again. "Princess Seraphina!"

"Huh?" I ask for a second time today. The guard lets out a sigh and comes closer until she's standing in front of me.

"Princess Sera," She says again, leaning down so only I can hear her words. With her so close, I can smell the light perfume she's wearing and I have to stop myself from breathing it in.

"Yes…?" I manage to squeak out. It's a good thing she's so close; any further and she wouldn't hear me.

"I'm sorry to disturb yours and Healer Tsul breakfast, but I was told to find you as soon as possible by Head Healer Alacrain.

"Healer Alacrain…?" I ask in daze confusion. Last I remember, the Head Healer position wasn't filled yet. Mother isn't going to be happy to know that an Alacrain is Head Healer… Seeing how the last Alacrain that was here, captured her son heart…

The guard gives a look towards Andres, who I know is pretending not to listen, before coming closer to whisper. When she gets near my ear, I can feel my heart starting to stop as I feel her breath on my ear. "Your brother has been shot..."

3: Chapter 3: Past & Present

Duality

Chapter 3: Past & Present

Hyperion

Most of the stories I'd heard from former soldiers before I was recruited to the front lines that getting shot didn't hurt. That it felt like a pinch and that's it… I learned the hard way that all of them were full of shit…

The first time I was shot was during my first year on the front lines. We were ambushed by the enemy and one of them shot me through my thigh. I still remember the stinging and the burning of the bullet and the Trench Healer telling me that I was lucky; if the bullet had moved even an inch to the left...let's just say that my military career would have been over by then.

The second time was even worse… It was during the middle of my third year on the front. I got into a skirmish with a close-range fighter and just had him pinned down, when he pulled out a hidden gun and shot me through my shoulder. He didn't make it but he did leave a lasting reminder as the bullet got stuck and had to be pulled out from me. My shoulder still hurts when it rains… But, I'm starting to think those old soldiers were on to something…

Wh... where am I? I mentally ask when the endless blackness I fell in starts to fade. What hap...wait, I remember… The imagines of the blood and the gunshot starts to play in my mind, reminding me of what happened.

"Son of a gun..." I hoarsely groan out as I force my eyes open and white walls greet me brightly. At first, my heart drops. Oh crap… But the white soon become familiar and it dawns on me where I am. "The medical wing… Guess that means I'm not dead..."

"Sorry to disappoint, but Aurelia won't be getting her warrior just yet," A familiar voice says from the other side of the room. "Besides..." It's a voice that I would know anywhere...and that couldn't be here, at the place of all places. Soon, I see figure moving from the corner of my eye and it's like Aurelia, herself has come down to the planet. She's more likely than the person standing in front of me, with her familiar smirk. "...I would be a lousy Healer if I let the crown prince died because of a bullet wound. Especially by a novice soldier."

"Helena…?" I ask, surprise and shock lacing my voice.

Her smirk soon softens to a smile as she pulls a chair to the side of my bed and sits down on my right side. "No, you're not dream, Rion. It's really me." Her hand lightly touches mine and I can feel my heart skidding to a stop before galloping off. A sensation that could only be caused by her.

Helena Alexandria Elizabeth Alacrain, the fourth and youngest child of the Alacrain family; one of the highest up families of the Blessed Twelve, second only to the Raion family, the one I bare name to. She's also one of the youngest Healers to make the ranking Commodore. She also happens to be the love of my life…

"How...you...why..." I stammer out like an idiot, a bad recurrence that happens when I'm in her presence. You would think someone trained in public speaking would be able to string several words, but my mind tends to crash when around Helena. How we've even managed conversation before is beyond me.

"You're probably wondering how I'm here?" Helena asks, piecing together my stammering.

"Of course..." I finally manage to croak out. "Not that I'm not ecstatic to see you again, but...I thought you were going to take another tour. I always assumed that what was going to happen."

Even though I don't speak the words that first came to mind, I can tell she knows what I was originally going to say but chooses not to address it as well. "I originally was but..." Her ice blue eyes, that could become as bright as the summer sky or as cold as the iciest glacier, grow dark before she forces it back. A smile reappears but it's clearly false. "...things changed and a few weeks after I returned home, Healer Diana sent word to me that she was retiring as Head Healer and wished for me to replace her."

A thousand things run through my mind from her hesitation and as much as I want to question the hesitation...I don't. I rather know what happened to change her mind, but I know better than to pry. The horrors I saw on the battlefield, I can't imagine the ones Helena faced while on the field.

So instead, I opt for a safer topic. "So, you're the one replacing Healer Pesci."

"You don't have to sound so surprise..." She says frowning but I can see the tension leave her shoulders as we tread to safer ground, away from talk of the war.

"I'm not!" I exclaim in a chuckle as I sit up fully. "I'm not surprised at all. It would be an insult if she didn't recommend you!"

"Now you're just trying to suck up."

"No, of course not-" I start to say but it comes out in a slight hiss as I try to readjust myself.

"Just because you're not dead, doesn't mean that you're on hundred percent," Helena scolds, going back into a lecturing tone she used to take when we were kids and I would get injured doing something stupid, only for her to patch me up.

She pulls back the covers and lift my shirt some, enough to reveal the spot on my abdomen that I was shot at, which is now sporting the pinkness of a faded mark. Helena hand traces down my stomach lightly, evoking old memories that for the first time in a long while are not of the battlefield but of happier times. Of hidden glances and secret kisses; of quick and not so quick touches...of memories of being closer than we are now, of her breath on my neck and my lips on her skin-

Snap out of it, Hyperion! Don't go there! I internally scold myself as I feel my face going bright red. That's the last thing I need, my mind going into the forbidden part of my memories.

Luckily, Helena doesn't notice my very...interesting stroll down memory lane as her entire focus is on my faded injury. "You're going to have to be more careful, Rion. I managed to heal most of the damage, but it was a close one."

That draws my attention away from the past. "What do you mean?"

"I mean..." She begins as she finishes her checkup and pulls the covers back on me. "...that you're lucky that the trainees got you here so fast that I was able to heal you because if they hadn't...I don't think I could have healed you in time."

"Seriously?" I hadn't realized how close to death I was…

Helena gives a somber nod as she sits back down; her dark brown hair falling in waves over her face. "Yes. The bullet nicked an artery and combined by the internal bleeding that was already happening because of your...other injuries… we're lucky you didn't bleed out." The ice and rage in her voice is enough to make me shiver and not in the good way. Of course, she figured it out… It's not surprising, since she was the one who had to patch me up before…

Only two people know of my mother's abuse. The first person is my sister, Sera. Who, for her own protection, only know the mild portion of it and doesn't know exactly how far Mother has gone and the second is Helena and it's also the reason...well, one of the reason why we're not together.

Had there been no restrictions, I would have been proposed to Helena. Hell, I would have done it before it was legal, but I know, she wouldn't have accepted it and it's because of my mother.

Or better yet, my mother need to control everything and everyone, including her children. Seraphina, through emotional abuse and me, through physical abuse and the threat that she would do the same to Sera, if I rebelled. Each time Mother would inflect her damage, Helena would be the one to heal it, so she had first account with what was happening and she hated it. One of the first words that would come to mind if I was asked to describe Helena, would be calm. She's probably the calmest person I have ever met, but when it comes to my mother treatment...that would be the furthest word from my mind.

That's why, when we were started growing closer and falling in love, we both knew that it wouldn't be forever. That could never, would never have a future together because the most amazing part about Helena is that she stands her ground and doesn't let anyone control her. And as much as I would love for her to be my wife, I refuse to make her suffer this hell along with me. But even if Helena was the perfect mindless puppet, my mother would do her damnedest to make sure Helly would not be bride and all because of her blood.

My mother had trouble conceiving children and it was getting to the point that many were starting to worry that the throne wouldn't have an heir and that it might be time for another family to take the throne and the family at the top of the list was the Alacrain family. Helena's mother, the head of the Alacrain family, had already had three children by that point and already pregnant with Helly so there was no question of heirs.

But before serious action could be taken, my mother became pregnant with my sister and I, but Mother has never gotten over her resentment of what could have been and will always hate the Alacrain family for almost taking away her throne. And it would be over her dead body that an Alacrain would wear the crown.

The two of us sit in silence for the longest time before I slowly move my hand into hers. "Helena..." She continues looking down. "Helena..." I say again, giving her hand a light squeeze. "Helena, please...look at me."

Reluctantly, she lifts her head until her blue eyes are looking at my green ones. "Helly, please don't be mad. It doesn't suit you."

She lets out a tsk. "How can I not be?" She gives my hand a squeeze back, annoyance and anger lacing her eyes. "I hate Tamara. I hate how she treats you and Seraphina. I hate that we can't be together because of her. I just..."

"Hey..." I pull on her arm a bit until she finally gives in and sit next to me on the bed as I place her hands in one of mine, while slipping my free hand underneath her chin. "...don't waste your energy on her. She's not worth it." I let go of her hands and wrap an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. "Let’s just focus on present; that we're together again and I rather not let you go until I have to."

"Such the sweet talker," Helena whispers softly and I can see the smirk in her eyes as she moves closer. Our lips barely touch before I feel a sly smile form on her lips. "Normally I would kiss you, but I don't kiss men who are about to go on a date with another woman."

"What!?" I exclaim, pulling away.

"You should see your face!" Helly laughs out as she pulls away, holding her stomach. "I can't believe you've already forgotten about your 'date' with Kana Strelnieks this afternoon!"

"I didn't forget!" I exclaim, which earns me an eyebrow raise. "Fine...I did forget… But I have good reason to! It's not every day you get shot and the love of your life comes back into your life!"

"That is true," She admits as a few more chuckles leave her lips before she kisses me softly. "You get a pass today, but I swear Rion. If your head wasn't attached to your head…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I say with the roll of my eyes. "The question of the day though is how you know about this stupid thing?"

"It's the talk of the castle. That, and that Andres Tsul is here too."

"Ahh, I almost forgot that Andres was visiting too..." I begin but trail off as noises outside the medical wing starts to sound. "Helena...did you tell anyone what happened?"

"Well..." A guilty flush start growing on her olive skin.

"Helena..."

"I forced the trainees to keep their mouths shut when it was clear that you were going to live and I made sure that Tamara didn't get word of it either!" She quickly adds, knowing what I was about to ask.

"But you did tell someone? Who-" But before I can finish my sentence, the doors of the medical wing burst open and a figure in gold floats into the room. It only takes a second for me to realize who it is and whom Helena told about my condition… "Seraphina..."

Helena mouths sorry as she steps away from my side as my sister races to spot in a flash of gold. "What in the world happened, Hyperion!?" Seraphina yells, worry in her green eyes; the only trait we share despite being twins. "A guard came and told me you were shot-"

"Calm down, Sera!" I exclaim, stopping her before she can go into hysterics. "Yes, I was shot, but it was only a scratch. Helena healed me and now I'm fine, so you can continue on with your date." My eyes gaze over to the third and hulking figure, Andres Tsul, who gives me a sheepish smile.

Sera's eyes narrow before turning in Helena direction, who's now sitting back in her original seat. "Hello, Helena," Sera greets coolly and I must surprise the urge to sigh. "I hear congratulations are in order. I was told an Alacrain had taken over the role as Head Healer, I am to assume that they were speaking of you?"

If Sera's snarky tone is getting to her, Helena doesn't show it. Instead, she gives a small smile, but I can see her eyes ice over. "You would be correct, Seraphina. I actually started today and how lucky am I that the crown prince is my first patient."

"Yes...lucky..."

An awkward silence comes down on the room and I know that I have to steer this conversation towards safer shores and pick the only person that's been quiet during this whole situation.

"How have you been, Andres?" I ask as all eyes land on Andres, who shrinks away from the looks. "It's been a while since I've last spoken to you; have you been well?"

"Yes, your Highness," Andres answers as he stares at the two women before slowly walking over to my bedside. "I've been very well. Getting along fine on the front lines."

"I told you, Andres, there's no need to be formal with me. You can just call me Hyperion or Rion. Besides, we're be family soon anyway." It's barely noticeable, but I see a slight flinch from my sister. Luckily for both of them, Andres doesn't seem to notice.

"I guess we will be," He says with a small chuckle. "Just one more year..."

So, it's just not Sera wavering… It makes sense, Sera and Andres have always been good friends, but they never have had the chemistry a couple should have. Not surprising, since this is a match cooked up by Mother. I am upset that Sera doesn't have the freedom to pick, like the other younger born of the Twelve have, but at least Andres is a good guy and the best part… she'll be out of mother's grasp…

"...Well, provided I survive Commander Adrestia rule," Andres finishes with a laugh that I can't help but smile at. Andres is probably one of the few people who can elicit a positive reaction out of me.

"Yes, Celeste was not known for her loving approach during my time on the front either." I look over at Helena with a smile. "You remember when she was station with us when our groups first merged?"

An unpleasant look appears on her face, but Helena smiles none the less. "Oh, I remember. She was a peach and an absolute angel when I was promoted over her. Those were the best three months of my life. You remember, we actually threw a party when she was transferred over to head the Diamond Platoon Healers."

"I almost forgot about that!" I exclaim with a chuckle before turning back over to Andres. "You know, I don't believe you two have met: Andres, this is Helena Alacrain. Helena, this is Andres Tsul."

"It's nice to meet you, Andres," Helena greets with a soft smile as she stands to her feet to feet to shake his hand.

Instead of reaching out, Andres goes into a rigid salute. "It's very nice to meet you too, Commodore! I mean-" He goes into a bow. "Lady...No! I mean Healer...No-"

"How about..." Helena starts as she stops him from his flustering attempts. "...you just call me Helena? No need to for titles."

"Oh, thank you!" Andres exclaims with a sigh of relief before shaking her hand with a bright smile. "I know a lot of the higher ups are sticklers about their titles and you're so well known that I didn't want to screw up-"

"Can we get back on the more important subject!?" Sera interrupts as she glares over at Helena and Andres. "I know Helena's rank and talking about old friends are nice and all, but have you all forgotten that my brother was shot, not that long ago!?"

"Seraphina-" I start to say, but Helena interrupts me.

"You are absolutely right, Sera. This isn't the time to talk about this." She turns her attention towards Andres, before holding her arm out. "How about we give the twins some privacy to talk and you can escort me toward to the kitchen, Andres? You can tell me how much of a hard ass Adrestia has become since I've last spoke to her."

Andres looks between the three of us before taking Helena's arm with a nod. As soon as the two of them leave the room, Sera rushes over to my side and pull off the covers. "Sera, what the hell are you doing!?" I yell as I snatch her hands away. She tries again but I bat her away.

"I'm trying to make sure you're alright!" She answers back with anger in her voice as she reaches for me again, but I manage to pin her hands down.

"I'm fine!" I exclaim as I straighten up, ignoring the slight pain from my stomach. "It was just a gunshot and Helena fixed it, end of story."

"Just a gunshot!? How can you say that so bland, like it was just scrape or something mundane!?" She comes down to eye level. "You were shot, that's nothing to just scoff at!"

"Yes, it is!" I yell back, trying and failing to keep the anger and annoyance from my voice. "You forget that I've been on the front lines for five years. I've seen men and women blown up to nothing; people lose arms and legs. This is my third time being shot, trust me, it's nothing!" A horrified look appears on Sera's face, causing me to lower my tone. "I am fine, Sera. Helena fixed me and I will be ok."

I thought my words would calm her, but it just causes her horror to turn into anger. "Well sorry for being concerned for you! know Saint Helena is the Silas gift to all Healers, but excuse me for wanting to make sure she did it right! Don't you trust me to know what I'm doing? In case you've forgotten, I'm a Healer too!"

I shake my head in disbelief, my annoyance building again. "I never got where this hostility towards her came from, seeing how you pretty much wanted her as a sister at one point, but it’s getting on my nerves.

And it's not that I don't trust you, Sera; it's just that theory is much different than being up close to the actual injury. Helena been on the front lines; she has seen and fixed gunshots and much more deadlier wounds, while you've only studied them. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you're an excellent healer, but I rather have the more experience Healer fix me."

The hurt is as clear as day on her face and as much as I hate hurting her, I stand by my words. Seraphina doesn't know what to do at the end of the day and that's not her fault. It's one of the only things our mother has done that I'm grateful for...

"Helena shouldn't have told you what happened..." I whisper out and Sera's hurt soon changes to anger.

"You have to be kidding me… Please tell me you're joking, Hyperion..."

"I am not," I calmly answer as I face her and I can feel my blood run cold. "As soon as she got the injury under control, it became unnecessary for you to know or to come. You knowing about this has just hurt you. Being in the dark about it would be better."

Seraphina just looks at me, anger and hurt clear on her face as she shakily stands to her full height. "It's not you being hurt that's hurting me...it's you, yourself. And Helly told me because once upon a time, there would be no question about me being by your side when you were hurt. You're my brother, my twin! We've always been together, no matter what. If one of us is hurt, then the other is by their side."

"Don't be naive, Seraphina," I scoff. "You and I both know those days are long gone. It doesn't work that way anymore."

She shakes in her head in disbelief, as if to repeal my words away before looking down at me with our shared eyes. "What happened to you, Rion? This isn't you, this cynical person. What changed you?"

I shut my eyes to block out the surging nightmares. The blood...the bodies...the death... "That's none of your business, Sera. You wouldn't understand..."

"I could if you just let me in and tell me," She pleads as I feel the bed sinking some as she sits next to me. "I could help you, but you have to let me in first." Warm hands grab mine, squeezing them tightly. "I know you're going through a rough time, but I understand..."

My eyes shoot open at those words and I can't stop the dam of anger and frustration from flooding out. "No, you don't, Seraphina!" I rip my hands away from hers and pin her down with a steely look. "There is no way you could understand what happened to me over there! You have no idea what happened to me; what I saw...what I did! There is no way you could even grasps that! So, don't even pretend you could understand!"

The hurt and pain is clear on her face, but I continue. She needs to see who I'm truly am now. "You keep thinking that I'm still the same Hyperion, but I'm not. Your brother, the one who used to be your friend, the one who was kind and gentle... That Hyperion is dead and all is left is the monster the military sent home." I turn away from her and lean into my pillow, exhausted. "Please Seraphina, just go..."

Even without looking, I can feel the tears running down her face as her eyes bare into me, before I hear her footsteps recede from the bed. They get further away until the sound of the door opening rings out, but she doesn't step through. Instead, I hear her turn in my direction again.

"All I wanted is my brother back..." Her voice cracks but I can hear the veiled anger in it as well. "That's all I wanted since the day you left for the front and since you've returned. For you to actually talk to me and be my brother again and when I was called hear, I thought maybe this was it, but I was wrong." A sob escapes her lips and I bury my face into the pillow to keep from turning, but she pushes on. "It looks like you were right, my brother is dead, because there is no way the old Hyperion would speak to me that way." She turns back. "Go to hell, Rion!" She slams the door behind her and the last of relationship...

4: Chapter 4: Encounters & Escapes

Duality

Chapter 4: Encounters & Escapes

Seraphina

It's not until I'm out of the medical wing and down the hall that I let the tears fall freely. My knees give out on me and I fall to the ground with the walls being the only thing keeping me from collapsing completely.

That...that was not my brother... I've heard of soldier coming back from the front lines...different. Angrier or depressed; lashing out at people they normally wouldn't have, but I never thought it would happen to Hyperion, of all people! I mean, the few times that he managed to get leave and visit, he seemed the same. Yes, maybe a little more serious than when we were kids, but I just thought it was because he was preparing more for his role as the future king. Not turning into that man, wearing my brother's face as a mask...

With that, the tears come down faster and harder, to a point where I can't even contain them and I just bury my face into my knees.

After what seems like hours, I hear footsteps coming down the hall. Normally, I wouldn't be caught dead crying in public, in fear of my mother's lecture...and because I rather not be pity by anyone. I'm already looked at as the weaker twin, because I wasn't sent to the front even though I'm the more expendable one, I refuse to give anyone more of a reason to look down on me. But with everything that happened with Rion, my pride is at an all time low.

The footsteps get closer until whoever it is, is standing right next to me. Go away... I mentally try to will them away, but unfortunately, my healing power is physical based and they stay there. A second goes by before they finally speaks.

"I'm guessing the talk didn't go well, huh?"

You have got to be kidding me... I groan out in my head, mostly so I don't say it out loud. For the love of Silas, why her of all people!? First my brother yells at me and now I'm found crying by Helena Alacrain. It's like the universe is trying to hate me.

My pride is too low that I didn't care if a servant or a guard caught me crying, but it isn't too low that I will let Helly, of all people, catch me crying on the ground. So, I force myself to stand to my feet, but it seems I've been on the ground for too long, because I start to wobble a little.

Hands gently grab my arms and steady me. "Be careful there, wouldn't want you to fall." Helena's word trigger an old memory from long ago.

Ever since I was young, I don't know why, but I've always loved climbing things. Just to see how far I could get. Now that I think about it, maybe my subconscious knew even then that I was trapped in this castle, never to truly see the world. When I was eleven, I wanted to climb onto one of the spire towers to watch the sunrise. I had been up there once with Rion, but he was away with some of the Warrior Generals for lessons but I was confidant enough in my own climbing skills that I thought I could do it on my own.

It hadn't crossed my mind that climbing onto a tower was much different and higher than climbing a tree and I had not my brother's Warrior born strength. So when I finally got on the tower, I misjudged my steps and lost my footing some, but before I could fall to my death, hands caught me and stop me before I could go on the edge. My eyes were shut and I had expected to hear the stern voice of a guard, but the voice that came was the last I expected...

"Be careful there, wouldn't want you to fall..."  When I opened I eyes, I saw that it was Helena who caught me. I would find out later that I wasn't as slick as I thought I was and had slipped by her window on my way up, but at that moment, the fear that my mother would soon find out and I would be punished was the only thing that played in my mind. I did not know of my mother's abuse at that point, I knew that I should fear her. But instead of turning me in, or lecturing me herself, Helena just gave me a smile and helped me over to the other side of the tower, where it was easier to climb. I remember looking at her confused, but she just gave me a shrug before showing me where to place my foot and hands to climb to the top.

"Next time..."  She started when we were sitting at the top, waiting for the sun to rise. "...when you want to climb up here or do something equally dangerous, please tell me first so I can keep an eye out for you. Dying would not be good for our friendship."  I could only look on at her in shock. Even after a year of being at the castle, I would have only called us acquaintances. We were friendly and traded smiles sometimes, but she had been close to my brother, even then, so I thought I was just someone she tolerated because I was the princess and her friend's sister. But for her to call me a friend...

I barely remember the sunrise that day, than I do the tears falling down my face. I had never really had a friend before then. Most who came to the castle were much older than I was and those who were around my age, really only wanted to be friends with me to get close to Rion, but Helena didn't. She offered her friendship without asking anything in return.

Standing here with her; catching me when I fall, like so many times before, makes me wish to go back to those days when we were friends. The days where I would have her hug me after fighting with my brother and let her care about me. The days where I would let her be the big sister I always wanted...and for a time, she was... But my Mother's whispers soon enter my mind. The doubts that she embedded into me that twisted my admiration and adoration for Helena into jealously and envy, that it's enough for me to rip my arms from her hands. "I do not need your help, Helena," I grumble as I straighten into a more dignified pose.

Hurt and annoyance flashes in her eyes and part of me wishes she would snap back at me, to give me someone to yell at, but like the calming force she is, she does not rises to the bait. Instead, she looks down the hall with concerned, blue eyes. "The talk didn't go well," She repeats, but this time as a statement.

Unfortunately for both of us, I'm not mature enough not to be a smart ass. "How observant, Helly. Was it your ability to state the obvious that earns you all that lavish praise everyone gives you?"

A muscle in Helena's jaw tighten and I see her calm starting to break, but when she turns my direction, her eyes does not reflect the anger that I know she's feeling, but sympathy.

"I'm sorry Hyperion is being...difficult," She finally says after a few silent moments.

"This isn't being difficult..." Even though the last thing I want to do is confide to Helena, but I can't help the words coming out. "...I've seen and faced Rion being difficult before and stubborn, but this...this was worse. It was like staring into a face of a stranger. It's like my brother doesn't exist anymore..."

"Don't say that, Seraphina," Helena gently scolds. "He's still Rion, he's still there, it's just...complicated." She lets out a long sigh before facing the hall again, a faraway look in her eyes. "Being out there, on the front lines... It changes you in ways that you don't even think about. It's hard to explain or to understand."

My anger spikes again as I move into Helly's line of sight. "I am getting sick of hearing of what I can or can't understand! All of you presume that because I wasn't out in the trenches, that I can't understand what's happening. I am not a child!"

"No one is calling you a child, Sera. I was just saying that I know you want to be there for Hyperion, but it's hard to understand what he went through and help him without first hand knowledge-"

"Do not tell me what I can't understand about my brother," I sneer out with a glare. "Last I checked, I was his sister and his twin, if anyone would understand him, it would be me. Just because he used you to keep his bed warm doesn't-"

Before I can get another word out, I'm slammed against the wall with an arm against my throat. "If you finish your last word, Seraphina, it won't matter that you're Rion's sister, the crown princess or the fact that we were friends, I will hurt you!"

"What did I hit a nerve?" I manage to choke out with a smirk, but it soon dies on my face when I get a good look at Helena and soon start to wish that we had a few guards down this hallway...

Eyes of blue fire glare up at me and it's at this moment that I realize that I'm actually tall than Helena now, but the look in her eyes makes me feel like I'm just an inch off the ground. The rage I've been wanting to see from her has finally come...and I'm scared. It didn't dawn on me what would happen when a raging Helena would come out.

"Let go, Hel..." My words die when she presses her arm against my neck ever deeper.

"You do not give demands here, Princess." The sneer is clear in her voice and it's clear how much I've messed up. Even though Helena is a Healer, she's still a soldier and she's not even a regular Healer, she was a Trench Healer. They're trained in combat along with Warriors because they have to be in the thick of it.

It didn't dawn on me until now how much I've actually messed up here. Yes, she can cause the same damage a Warrior can, but she actually wanted to hurt me, it would be like swatting a fly for her...and then she could fix me and start the whole process again. My only saving grace is that Helena is not stupid; she knows that we'll get caught like this sooner or later and there would be no stopping Mother from executing her for harming a member of the royal family.

Luckily, the same realization seems to cross her mind as well, because slowly, I feel the pressure being released off my neck and it's not too long until Helena back away, freeing me completely.

"Never...say that again..." She demands in a shaky breath, the fight leaving her, but the cold look stays. "You know...it wasn't...isn't...like that." And know I do... Despite my nasty words, I know what her and my brother have is real, that they actually love each other and had this been another world, they would have been married by now and I would have been happy for them. But this is the world we live in; the place where Mother would burn the world down than have a Alacrain, especially one as strong-willed as Helena, on the throne. Which is why Mother set Hyperion on these dates to get his mind off of her; why Mother trained me to resent her...

"I'm sorry..." She whispers, but the last thing I want is her apologizes.

"Just...leave me alone, Helly," I whisper just as soft as I turn away from her. Not able to look her in the eye anymore.

The lack of fight must be clear in my voice because I hear Helena let out a sigh before her footsteps ring out as she retreats away from me. They go on for a few moments before they suddenly stop.

"Sera..." She calls out.

Now what...The last thing I want is another lecture or worse, get into another fight with her, but something in her tone causes me to face her away, expecting the blue fire from before, but I see something worse now. Sympathy...

"Give him time, Seraphina. He'll come to you, when he's ready."

I don't know if she says anything after that because all I feel is me running, where to, I don't know, I just know that I need to escape. Even though I feared her anger, her sympathy is what breaks me.

As I run, it feels like the walls are closing in around me and the air starts getting tight. It's like I'm drowning and I can't come up for air. It's not until my bedroom door comes in sight that I realize where I am. I blindly reach for the handle and tumble in the room, finally in a place of sanctuary.

I press my face into the soft carpet and try to force my breathing under control. Breathe, Sera, breathe... I mentally soothe myself as I try to steady myself. After a few minutes, my breathing finally is under control and I manage to fix myself into a sitting position.

The first thing I notice is that no one isn't rushing to my aid, not even Abigail. I gaze around the room and spot no one in there. Usually at least one or more of the maids are in here but it's empty for once.

"Abigail?" I call out just in case she's taking care of something in the bathroom, but no, it's just me.

Normally, I would relish having the room to myself, but I don't know why, whether it's because of Hyperion yelling, Helena's words or my breakdown, but this serves as the last straw. A heat starts to rise inside of me and all of sudden, I'm across the room and grab a picture that has myself and Rion, when we were younger and I throw it against the wall. It makes a loud crash that feels good and like lightning, I'm throwing everything in my room, breaking any and everything I can.

It's not until long that my room looks like a tornado has hit it. Pages from books are torn into shreds; glass everywhere from the broken pictures and my mirror, which had an unfortunate encounter with a perfume bottle. Clothes and sheets, scattered about. Even though a part of me feels guilt about the mess that my maids will walk into, the rest of me feels good...for the most part. The anger has faded, but I still feel an urge to escape.

Something dark lying on the floor catches my eye. Crossing lightly over the broken glass on the floor, I finally see what it is. My training gear that I was wearing earlier. A short-sleeve black shirt with a high collar and black, military-issued pants. Unlike most Marked, a family color isn't stitched into it because it's Opa issued gear, who wear no colors when drafted onto the front lines.

Judging from the fresh smell coming from it, Abby must have washed it. Only a few people know about my late night activities and even though we never said anything to each other, I always suspected that Abigail knew and from past comments, didn't approve, but for her to do this, does mean a lot to me. For the first time since I heard Rion was shot, I feel a smile coming to my face. Because of Abby's small approval and because she just gave me a way how to escape my prison...